A Four-Year Old’s Story

Theres things I don unnerstand. I mean, like, I get Im a kid, but geez, I can’t wait to get growed up soon and peopled would take me more serious like, specially my mom and dad, but don get me wrong, I mean they are the best, ‘cause they are teachin me lots of neat stuff like my abc’s an how to swim, an I like that lots, an they are also teachin me to play baseball, my dad is - I mean T-ball ‘cause that’s where you start, an he knows ‘cause he was good in baseball before he got old and stuff, an I want to be just like him, even if I am a girl, but sometimes, ya know, im just fo-wah an people mostly just smile when I say fo-wah so I hafta hold up my fingers to show all of them but my thumb an count – one, two, three, fo-wah so people unnerstand me but I unnerstand them plenty, cept I do get confuse sometimes, like when I snuck in to see the 3 Ninjas movie that my big brother an sister were watching on tv and heard the granpa say “don be over-confident”, an I know I wasn’t suppose ta be watchin it at my age, cause it had fightin and some bad people an so I had to leave an watch somfin else when mom saw me, but I remembered the granpa sayin that so nother day when we went to the doctors an he walked in the room, I told him “Don be over-competent” which made him and my mom laugh cause I got it mixed up, but I still think it was smart of me to almost get it right, an in the car on the way home my mom agreed that I was very smart an explained the right word was con-FI-dent not com-PET-ent but how was I suppose ta know since im only fo-wah but my mom bought me an ice cream on the way home to say I was good at the doctor’s, an ya know, Im not sure if I was good because I said competent even when I meant to say confident or if I was good cause I didn’t cry when the doctor gave me a shot that pinched me in the arm an it hurt lots but mom said it was all part of growing up an I needed the shot so I wouldn’t get sick when I start pre-school which is soon, so then I will go to school like my big brother an sister and learn lots more than mom an dad teach me, but anyway, I liked the ice cream so I wasn’t mad anymore at mom and the doctor for laughing at me an later I let my brother and sister know I got a treat an they didn’t 'cause they were at school an then they wanted ice cream but we didn’t have any at home so they got cookies instead an I got one too so I had double treats for goin to the doctors. It was a good day!

But, see, that’s not the day I really wanna talk about ‘cause even though I got mad, Im not mad anymore ‘cause of the ice cream but I have another story that I can tell you an esplain about the time I stopped talking, which is not really like me to be like that, ‘cause lots of people, an especially my mom an dad, tell me that I like to talk. It was when mom was driving me somewhere an I forget where but that’s not important ‘cause you just need to know we was driving in the car an I was just sitting in my car seat in the back when I had a thought that popped into my head like POW - it really did, POW right into my head - an I told my mom that I wanted hair here but she couldn’t see on account of her driving an watching the road so we didn’t get in an accident or have anything bad happen, see, so I told her again I wanted hair here, but I think I should let you know that I have very short yellow hair so my mom musta thought I just wanted long hair like my sister, but that wasn’t it, so I said again I wanted hair HERE, saying ‘here’ very loud so the next time we were at a traffic light an it was red so my mom had to stop, she took a big sip of water from her water bottle and turned to look at me to see why I was talking so loud an when she turned, I said I wanted hair HERE again, an she could see where I was pointing, it made her laugh an, well, she had a mouth full of water from her water bottle an sprayed it all over me an the car but it felt good ‘cause it was really hot outside so it cooled me off, an my mom’s face was funny, like twisted, 'cause she tried not to spit on me but she did anyway, so that woulda been ok cept that she burst out laughing an that’s what got me mad so I stopped talking an folded my arms an made a scrunchy face, ‘cause that’s my mad face. When she asked me why I wanted hair there, I didn’t say nothin an just went “Hrumph” which is the sound my dad makes when he is mad at somfin, like when the Yankees lose at baseball, or I don put away my toys, so my mom said “Oops. Sorry” an started driving again so she had to look at the road an she couldn’t see me an my mad face anymore, so she started talking sweet to me about other things to stract me, but I still wouldn’t talk until she finally said that when I am older, I could have hair there, which made me happy an then I wasn’t mad anymore, an smiled thinking about how you get everything when you get older but not when you are fo-wah, an I was getting older every day ‘cause my dad told me that once. Then mom asked me why I wanted it so badly but I didn’t forget that she had laughed so I wouldn’t tell her an we kinda left it like that when we got home an she didn’t say anything more about it until the next morning when I woke up an I came downstairs all sad with my face drooping an my mom asked me why I was sad so I told her I was older an still had no hair here, an I pointed to where I wanted to have hair, an this time she didn’t laugh at me, but she did turn her head an I guess she thought I didn’t see the smile that her lips made, but I did an when she turned back the smile was gone an she told me some things take time, but how about we eat now an talk later, so then she made waffles ‘cause that’s my favorite an she didn’t want me to be mad anymore, an we laughed an talked like nothing was wrong, but after I ate my waffle, my mom took me to my room to change for the day an once I put on a pair of shorts an a shirt, she sat on my bed an I sat next to her an she asked me again why I wanted hair here, so I told her I would show her ‘cause I didn’t want to be mad anymore neither, an we stood up an I held her hand to lead her into my brother’s room and pointed to the poster he had on the back of his door, but my mom was puzzled an said she didn’t unnerstand because it was a poster with a picture of Michael Jordan winning the slam dunk contest in basketball an he was flying through the air with his whole body stretched out an holding a basketball reaching for the net, so she asked me if I wanted to play basketball, but I shook my head NOOOO, which wasn’t loud, but it would have been if my head could make noise, an I asked my mom to pick me up an she did, so I pointed towards the top of the poster until she walked me close to the poster an I pointed to Michael Jordan’s outstretched arm an under the arm where it attached to his body. She still didn’t get it, so I touched the spot where there was a lot of dark bushy hair where his arm an body met, an then I pointed to underneath where my arm met my body an looked to see no hair! “I want hair HERE!” I said, loudly.

Well, my mom placed me down very gently, then said somfin about needing to go potty, even though I don think she really needed to go, but off she went, an I heard lots of noises in the bathroom that coulda been laughter, but Im not sure ‘cause it was muffled by the door an when mom came out, her eyes were watering, so she grabbed a tissue to wipe them an I was worried that she was very sad ‘cause my eyes water when I am very sad, but she said she was ok, an I know that sometimes she cries when she laughs too hard, but anyway she told me again that when Im older I can have hair here an that is my story about why Im not mad anymore but why I cant wait to get older.