Swiped

THEN.

“Bro, let me see your phone. I want to see what this dating app shit is about,” Collin said as he snatched it out of Lukas’s hands, knowing he couldn’t move quick enough from the tilted back recliner with his toes raised up as high as his head.

“Fine. Swipe right for yes, left for no.”

“Easy. I got this.” Collin glanced at the first picture and quickly flicked to the left. “I’ll find you someone, you just wait.”

“What was wrong with her?” Lukas asked, then yawned.

“Bad vibes. Too many dudes with her at the beach in that picture. She’s not into monogamy. Trust me, Lukas. I can just tell.” He took a swig of beer. “You deserve better.”

“New rule,” Lukas said, knowing he shouldn’t trust him with this sort of power over his dating life. “Before you swipe left, you have to show me first.”

“Ok, whatever,” he replied and began to check over the next person meticulously. “They have their social media handles on here. Interesting.”

“Yeah, people do that. My shit is on there, too. That way you can see who they really are.”

He looked up and flicked the screen to the right quickly, several times. Then flicked left a few before rapid firing a dozen or so back to the right. “It’s for your own good. I’m helping you.”

“Dude, fucking quit. You aren’t even looking at them,” Lukas said. “Give me my phone back.”

He ran over to the couch on the far side of the room, stood on the back of it and swiped from side to side across his phone at complete randomness. “You’ll thank me,” Collin laughed as he held the phone out of reach.

Lukas struggled his way out of the recliner and stumbled over to him, before yanking it out of his hands and collapsing on the worn out couch from his mom’s basement. Collin giggled as he skipped away.

“I’m actually trying to meet people on there,” Lukas said. “What if you just prevented me from meeting who I should be?”

“What if I just scored you some horny hookups?”

“Yeah, what if?” he said and yawned again. Collin thought he was funny but Lukas was truly pissed off.

“Oh, so sorry, Lukas,” he mocked. “How can I ever make it up to you?”

“Shut that light off and grab me another beer while you are up.”

He obliged and Lukas settled in, cozy in a blanket with his phone in hand to watch the rest of Fight Club, as they often did after bar close on a Friday.

“Don’t fall asleep, Weston is swinging by on his way home after bar close.”

“Man, fuck Weston,” Lukas said as he swiped right on a busty brunette from Bloomington. “It’s my couch and I’ll do what I want.”

NOW.

“Lukas? How are you?” She raised her drink and leaned in for a friendly side hug.

Lukas didn’t recognize her or the tone of her voice. She had a whiny inflection as she said his name that instantly caught his attention. It was offputting. “Good. How about you?”

“I’ve been good,” she said. Her eye contact pierced into Lukas as he looked back at her, trying to place who she was. He couldn’t place her face and she caught him glancing down at her body not recognizing her from the neck down, either. She gave him a devilish smirk.

“Good. That’s good,” Lukas said. He couldn’t think of anything else to say in his current state of confusion. The Friday night buzz he was working on didn’t help, either.

She was cute. Cute enough that Lukas would certainly remember her, had they actually known each other. Her smile grew serious but her eye contact remained strong. “I have to ask. Why did you stand me up?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You don’t remember?” She asked as if the answer were obvious. She took a drag from her vape and blew it over her shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I don’t.”

“Is that what you do? Is that your thing?”

“I’m sorry but I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about. Have we met before?” Lukas had never been so confused. He had dated plenty, but certainly not so much that he’d flat out forget this girl.

“We literally texted until four in the morning and had plans for dinner. Fourteen hours later.” She was furious with him, but he couldn’t help that part. “I’m Tulip. Tulip from Superior.”

Lukas knew that if he had talked to a girl named Tulip until four in the morning, he certainly would have remembered it. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember.”

“You’re a real piece of shit, you know that?” She said, her eyes showed her frustration in not just him, but men in general. “We didn’t just flirt and make dinner plans, you fucking asshole. You told me about your dad being obsessed with old war movies and how your biggest goal in college is to try every sandwich at Izzo’s deli. We talked about our exes and our life aspirations. I know you did an internship at the sheriff’s department last fall.”

Shocked, Lukas picked apart the details she was so close on, but not quite. “You are kind of right about some of that. But I didn’t do an internship at the sheriff’s department and I don’t really eat anything other than the number twelve at Izzo’s.”

“Whatever,” she said. “You fucking suck.”

His mouth moved, but no words came out. She threw her drink at him and he felt a few mostly melted ice cubes smack him in the forehead, before she walked away.

THEN, BUT A BIT LATER.

“Bro, Lukas is completely out,” Weston said. “His phone is still open though.”

“Check this out,” Collin said and grabbed the phone from his sleeping grip. He glowed with drunken excitement knowing they’d have an enjoyable rest of their night. “Swipe right for yes, left for no. It’s fun, try it.”

“Shit dude. We just got a match!”

“Let me see,” Collin said, stretching his neck to see. “This Tulip chick is pretty hot. Message her.”