Doctors Who, "Doct" Are The Most Successful

Doctors Who, "Doct" Are The Most Successful

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived a mad doctor named Dr. Franklin Norman Stine. The thing which made him so, "mad" was he didn't get a lot of people coming in because the sign outside of his door read, "Brain Surgeon, Dr. Frank N. Stine." Most of the people in his family were in the medical field, like his uncle was a podiatrist named Dr. Shoals. His sister was a major cardiologist named Dr. Love. His uncle was a pediatrician named Dr. Young. His brother-in-law was a cardiologist named Dr. Love. His cousin was a plant specialist named Dr. Pepper. His aunt was an Old Testament Bible scholler named Dr. Ruth. His cousin was an expert on foreign places named Dr. Oz. His uncle was a really odd phesisian named Dr. Strange. His nephew was a detective named Dr. Strange. His uncle was a king of doctors named Dr. Zoos. His sister-in-law was an owl specialist named Dr. Who. His cousin was a family practitioner named Dr. Doctor and when her patients came in they would all be yelling, "Dr. Doctor! Give me the news! I've got a bad case of loving you!" The bottom line was with all those people in the medical field, he thought it would be in his genes to be some kind of doctor as well, but as it was, the only thing that was in his, "jeans" was dirt and patches which read, "Levis," or, "Lea." To say that he was extremely distraught about that would be a gross understatement. To follow in their footsteps was what he tried to do, but when the others in his family expected him to do that, he walked really close behind them, so close that when they would turn around he would always be stepping on their heels. How he wished something would, "heal" him of his non-ability to do what others in his family did. When he tried to follow in those successful people's footsteps he moved sideways.

Then one day while he was cutting the grass, which didn't make much sense because it was in January, he saw an arrow headed straight for him. Since he was in such an odd position, there was no way he could move out of the way fast enough, so he just gave a kind of half-way scream since there wasn't enough time to do a full one. The arrow struck him and knocked him down. What made it be so weird was there was nobody nearby who could have shot it at him. It stuck him head on, but to his surprise, it didn't even hurt him the slightest little bit. As he looked around to see who could have shot him, he saw a tiny guy with wings flying around. When he saw it coming, he ducked so it missed Dr. Stine by a mere millimeter. That made the archer yell, "Darn it! Oops! I'm sorry! Excuse my cussing! I didn't mean to use such foul language in spite of being a bird-brain! That flipping thing is supposed to fly, 'straight as an arrow' to make you fall in love with, oh geese! There's nobody with you! Please don't tell anybody about that! It could cost me my job as, 'the stupid-cupid!'"

The Dr. was so shocked at seeing a little pixie with almost no clothes on who'd just tried to shoot him with an arrow, he said, "Hay, it's okay, my little friend, but even if you'd shoot me there's no women in my life to fall in love with so it would have been a wasted shot at me anyhow. It is a good thing you missed me because there are no girls in my life to fall in love with, so thanks for missing. No, that's not what I meant, uh, I meant geese! I just lost my words! I am at a loss for words now!"

Dr. Stein was speechless because he wasn't able to write any decent speeches, even in speech class back when he was in high school. He couldn't think of any words to tell that little pixie which would make him believe he had it together in the brains-department a little bit.

After the little guy had flown away, one reason must have been to get some clothes on since he was as naked as a jaybird. Well, actually compared to him, a jaybird would have looked like it was fully dressed. Needless to say, Doc had a really hard time sleeping after that incident. He wondered if anything else weird would happen to him that night. His question did't go long without an answer, for as it turned out, a little red dude appeared shortly afterwords. He was about 4 inches tall, had a tail on his hyne-quarters and horns on his head. He carried a pitchfork, and the doctor didn't think he had brought that along to help him plant his garden in the back yard.

"Hay, stupid!" he sneered at the doctor, "If you listen to that other jerk, there's no way you'll ever have a good time! Now enjoy your life! It's short! These should be your happiest days! Are you going to waist them by just doing what that jerk tells you to do, or are you going to enjoy your life? That's what life is all about, having a really good time!"

That made the dock say, "Yeah! Right!" then he slapped the angel and knocked her out of the room, breaking her harp and halo. That made the devil laugh and gave Doc a high-10. Doc was a Tarheel fan, but he had been turned into a Duke Blue Devil fan by that evil, little dude. He also liked the California Angels, but not any more after that incident.

With all those failures in his life, he was having some really serious financial problems. His wallet was green, but there were no, "green" pieces of paper with dead presidents on them inside of it. It was like Kermit The Frog's song, "It's Not Easy Being Green." The only thing green in his life was his skin because of envy. It had reached the point where he was afraid to try new things so he was, for lack of a better word, "yellow," and since his situation made him blue, the combination of those colors did what happened when the trees move, it means the wind, "blue." He'd, "red" about, "gold"-mines which went, "white" over his head so his future appeared to be, "black" towards finding any kind of, "gold" en opportunity to find any real, true happiness in life. It seamed each time his life looked up, that went sideways or it dropped.

Then while he went for a walk to get some fresh air, since he wasn't even, "eir" to anything his parents had since he was such a huge failure in life, he wasn't watching which direction he was headed in because his lower lip was dragging the ground. He tripped over it several times. Even when he checked the stock market which he had invested right much money in hoping it would go up, as luck would have it, even that went sideways. His life was spiraling downwards quickly. He hired a bookie to help him invest some money in stocks over the phone, although the problem was that bookie thought he said, "socks" and since it was summer-time, most people weren't wearing them, so it had a major accident, or to put it mildly, it, "crashed." He was all set to pour some champagne. Instead, that's what it made him, "poor."

His mom gave him a rabbit's foot because it was supposed to bring him good luck, but he refused it because it didn't work for the rabbit's luck. It seamed as if old Mr. Murphy was sitting on his shoulder and had chosen him to be his favorite place to take up residence. The doc's name had even become more appropriate because he kept getting, "docked" from his paycheck every time another bad thing would happen to him. He wanted to buy a boat and tie it up at the, "dock," except, "dock" was what kept on happening to him at work which meant he couldn't afford to buy one. To the doctor, what his definition for a boat was simply, "a whole in the water you throw money into." All the birds kept reminding him that they were not, "Cheep!" and they were until the buyer received the, "bill" then they would feel like a, "bird-brain" for spending so much mullah on, but only a, "bird-brain" would believe that. Besides that, the acronym for boat was, "bring-on-another-thousand." For the doctor, "no-money" was something he had an awful lot of right at that point in his life.

Just when it seemed like life was against him, it hit him, (an idea, not life). He'd try a different approach. He'd get another job. Since he wasn't trained at anything other then being a doctor, it gave him a whole new perspective on life. Yet that same day, his tub got jammed up with hair. That made him mad because he didn't even have any rabbits in his house. That would be the only reason for getting some, "hare" in the drain. Regardless, he still had to call a plumber to come unstop it. It took the plumber less then 10 minutes for the water to be running, everything was fine. After shaking his hand, he said, "Mr. Plumber, don't send me no bill, tell me how much do I owe you?"

The plumber gave him a big grin and said, "That will be $85.00."

The doctor yelled, "$85.00? Why you ain't worked 10 minutes! I'm a doctor and I don't make anywhere near that kind of money!"

Then the plumber smiled and replied, "Yeah, well, when I was a doctor, I din't make that kind of money neither! Is that cash or credit?"

It was obvious that Dr. Stine was in the wrong kind of business. Still, he paid whom he called, "the thief" his money and bayed him farewell. He would have ordinarily said, "Goodbye" to the jerk, but he was already having visions of what could have been a, "good-buy" for him to purchase that he wasn't going to get after that lousy experience.

Then something happened that nobody could explain. While the so-called, "thief" was going to his car while whistling the tune, "We're In The Money" as he skipped and danced his way on out to his car, the darndest thing happened, it was such a beautiful sunshiny day, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, when out of nowhere a bolt of lightening struck the plumber. What made it so weird was that there wasn't a cloud in the sky anywhere to be found. What made it even more weird was the fact that it happened inside of his trick. The bolt knocked him out cold. When he came to, he was in a hospital bed. many faces came rushing to towards his face saying things such as, "Hay! Wait a minute! Don't close the casket yet! He's alive!" "How could that be? He just had several thousand volts shot into his body!" "He was clinically dead!" "There's no way he could be alive!" "Let me see!" "That's impossible!" "You're crazy! There's no way he's alive!"

Doc scratched his head because the bandages where making him itch. Then a pastor named Bishop Fuller came and threw his arms up over his head and yelled, "Praise the Lord! Hallelujah! The Lord can do anything! He raised 3 different people from death in the Bible!"

Doc was scratching his head because the sheet was making his head itch. When he saw a lot of people clapping and laughing and giving each other high-5s he said, "What did I miss? Now, I want to party!"

When his doctor saw him alive, he said, "I'll be darned! Oops! Sorry! I didn't mean to cuss! What the heck happened? Oh dear! There I go again! That guy was dead like unto a doorknob! There's no way!"

Dr. Stine later wrote a book concerning his experience which went viral. It remained on the best-seller list for a long time. Since he was famous and known across the whole world, women were constantly calling him asking him for dates. Until then all he knew about, "dates" was they were sweet, but could be, "the pits." Yet after that incident, he became world-famous. Eventually one lady in particular who was an author of really strange stories met him. Ironically, her name just happened to me, "Ms. Write." After dating several times, the doctor learned that she was literally, "Miss. 'Write,' " for other reasons. They were married and then the next year they blessed the world with a junior doctor who would some day change the world just like Daddy. so like the best-written stories of all-time will officially finish up with,

"THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER !!!!"

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The end. By, Cuz Roye.