Home Again

It was not possible. His parents were standing there, hugging him, overjoyed for his safe return. The reporters, screaming questions at him, ‘How are you feeling?’ ‘What was it like?’ ‘Glad to be back?’ ‘What do you want to do first?’ ‘Glad to see your family again?’

He was, but this was not how it should be, how it was possible for it to be. The clicking of the cameras was attacking his ears, the jumble of the mob his eyes.

‘Ladies and gentlemen of the press! Dr. Friedland is tired and disoriented from the journey, and is too eager, I am sure, to see his family and loved ones again, to answer your questions. I will speak to you now, and he will do so later’.

Her office, on the 5th floor. The papers strewn all over it, one stack leaning on the other for balance. Pens taking cover between the sheets. The final handshake, before he left, and her voice over the com wishing him good luck, and a good life in the new world. Dr. Hannigan, director of the mission, signaled the security guards and they helped him and his family move inside. Where was the new world?

He knew the room, he spent many hours on break while preparing for the mission here. It was just as he remembered, the ugly yellow on the walls. The coffee machine next to the capsules dispenser, always missing the black ones he liked, so he’d have to settle for the green ones. The vending machines filled with candy bars that should really be all but dust now. He always had to resist the temptation of buying one, not always successfully. He could feel the familiar urge again, to take out his credit card and buy a comforting Snickers bar, or KitKat, or Mars. The familiar taste, terrible for the body, too much sugar, he could hear his doctor say, but sometimes just right. But it was too much. These things are wrong.

His parents kept talking to him. He answered, trying to sound normal, to avoid upsetting them. They must have been worried. They also should have been dead for the past few centuries.

‘Are you okay? You look kind of strange’

‘I’m fine mom, just a bit tired’

‘Are you hungry?

‘Not right now, dad, maybe in a bit’

‘It is so good to see you again! We missed you!’

‘Me too’

‘You need to drink, keep hydrated’

‘Yeah, you’re right, thanks’

He walked automatically to the water dispenser, and got himself a plastic cup. He did not have to think, his body remembered where everything was. It guided his hand to the button. You always needed to press on it a bit longer, it was never fixed. They had so much time. Did they have the time?

Was he dreaming? Or insane?

He remembered the station, working there. The results were promising. He was supposed to wake up in an alien world. It took so long to travel. His shift ended, that was the deal, he sacrificed his life for this, for a chance. But he was home

It was a good car, his parents’, he could still feel the bumps in the road but the suspension was just fine. Been with them for the past 8 years. He could see the coffee stain on the backseat, where his cousin dropped her cup. They were just coming back from the airport, his dad and him, driving her when she came back to visit. The car was still new and his dad was so mad. They never managed to quite clean the upholstery. Sam apologised so much, she nearly cried. His mom said ‘We buy this car to live in it. This is what life is. It is a memory for us now, relax!’ She must be here too, somewhere. He remembered all the research that went into buying it. They had to check every alternative. Was it big enough, or too big, not fuel efficient enough, needs more engine power. He watched the blur of the trees out the window. They will soon turn at the flyover, he thought. He knew.

Jake and Mel took him out. They have patiently, or not so patiently, waited the appropriate amount of days for him to re-acclimate himself and perform his duties. It was comfortable, his old bed. The bed at the station was always too stiff with its overly rigid springs. This one was comfortable, if a bit overused. He gave the press their statement, answered their questions. Hannigan and Aaron were thankful. They really looked happy to see him. How could they not find it strange to see him in their lifetime? They were munching on pretzels set out for the press day, he was having a sandwich. Mediocre as always in these events, feels like it was made in a factory aiming for food that will make the populace eat it without finding it offensive, but without putting in the work to make it actually good. Would his new world have had something like that? Dr. Hannigan said his report was incredible ‘We have sent the right man’, Aaron was happy for the positive exposure. In the interview before he left, they asked him if he was okay leaving all of this behind. It was on tv, there were clips of it online. But the way they talked, it was like it was never an issue, not even worth mentioning.

He liked the bar, really. It was fancy, way too expensive, but they had a reason to celebrate. His heroic successful return, as Jake said. He scanned the menu, cocktails with names that were trying just a bit too hard to be clever. But he knew what he wanted. It was always his favorite, it probably still is. It was just as good the last time. Jake and Mel cried, Jake more embarrassingly in this public place, Mel was trying to maintain composure, that would absolutely crack as the night and drinking went on. ‘To a new world, full of exciting opportunities and not zombies!’ They raised their glasses. Now they were laughing. ‘Look at this!’ Mel shouted over loud music, one of those songs on the charts he couldn’t name with a gun to his head but knew the hook by heart. Probably heard it so many times at shopping centres and coffee shops. She showed him her finger. ‘I’m taken, boys!’

‘Congratulations! When did this happen’

‘You were away. What, did you expect life to just stop?’ she winked. ‘Actually just last week, I wanted to tell you myself so I asked everyone to keep quiet’.

He tried his hardest not to wince. He painted a smile on his face. Jake and Mel began arguing. Something about the wedding date. Or date to the wedding. He took a gulp of his drink. The tables were set just the same, this was the “look” of this place, after all. Tables of people being progressively too loud, getting up after paying their bill. Couples sitting next to each other, speaking softly in each other’s ears.

‘Another one! We have a hero’s welcome going on here! Know what you want?’ Jake snapped him out of his head. ‘What do you think is good?’ he asked, forcefully pushing lightheartedness into his voice.

‘Hey man, you’ve been here just as much as me. I know you’ve been away, but come on, did you totally forget? Did you drink there too?’ Jake found his joke very funny and started roaring. Mel looked at him and shrugged. He smiled back. He could feel his face tense. He wondered if his eyes looked empty. She didn’t seem to notice.

The uber driver dropped him off at his parents. The stuff from his apartment went to storage, apparently. He was not planning on using them again, until a few days ago. He stopped paying rent. That part remained, as it turns out. So he was leaving with them. The kitchen still needed work, they had been putting it off for so long. He had told them to call the contractor so many times. The house was quiet, the usual clutter taking a break for the next few hours. His parents did ask a lot of questions. ‘You are going on the greatest adventure there is. You are going to see things none of us ever will. I am proud of you, but I will miss you. I love you’. His father’s last words to him before he departed. They hugged him then, it was different from now. The tears came with him all the way to the shuttle.

He sat down on the bed, still wearing his clothes. Stare at the ceiling. It still had the outlines of stars, put there when he was a kid. He loved them, but at some point they had become ‘for little kids’, and his parents took them off. The outline stayed though. It was oddly relaxing to watch them refuse to fade away, even as time was moving forward.

The trees outside his window were blowing with the wind. The leaves rushing like a busy street. He kept looking at the nearly vanished stars. He closed his eyes, and went to dream of the new world that was left behind.