The Earth Remembered Something We Forgot

The Earth Remembered What We'd Forgotten

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a geologist named Planet Big. Actually, that was the nickname he'd been given since he never did anything second-class, since he would always, "plan-it big." He was a firm believer that the Earth had feelings like any other living creature, it was happy when it was treated right and quite sad when it wasn't. That was the reason he was such an ultra-environmentalist, since he spoke for the trees like the Dr. Seuss's character called The Lorax. That was important. Since the trees couldn't speak for themselves, they needed a mediator. He was convinced that the Earth remembered some things we forgot. We must make it happy. The problem was his theory about tree conservation just, "wooden" catch on and people said he was, "bark"-ing up the wrong, "tree." A few people even went out on a, "limb" and told him to pack his, "trunk" and would be happy when he, "leaves" that great big city. That always made him, "pine" for those people to get their acts together and so he went out on a, "limb" to tell them the way

he felt about those trees, but no, "dog-would" do anything but, "bark" at him, saying they'd be happy when he packs his, "trunk" and, "leaves" the huge metropolis of Danville altogether. In fact, they all wanted him

to make like a banana and leave, or make like an atom and blow. He wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. In fact, when it came to being intelligent, he made a great singer to put it mildly.

Meanwhile, an evil man named Bob Arnold Davidson, who only thought about himself, (his initials b. a. d. should be enough to say that), wanted to cut down all the trees in that huge city of Danville. The reason was he wanted to put up more streets and shopping centers in the already booming town. Many conservationists explained to him how important it was to leave those trees up since they'd had many birds nests in them. Some even had several of the extremely rare bird called the day-day bird which only came out and sang the prettiest song of any bird in existence and if he cut those trees down, they would be extinct like the doe-doe bird. Yet the only thing he cared about birds was because of the fact it was the kind of brain he had. Plus, he was also extremely, "Cheep!" since the only thing he ever thought about was making more money. When the conservationists in town told him how detrimental to the entire species of birds that would affect, he just scowled and said, "Who cares about those stupid birds? Now, I care about the human race, and that is one, 'race' I am definitely going to win! Now, excuse me, but I must help humanity!"

All those poor birds had to each make different homes. The wrens run, the woodpeckers, "wooden" do anything that's worth a, ""peck," the cardinals told them they were breaking a, "cardinal" rule playing, "cards," the wrens-ran, the bobwhites were forced to, "bob-'white' " into the water, all of the doves dove into the rivers and drowned, the ducks had to, "duck" just to keep from getting hit, the ducks ducked their heads then were sent to, "quack"-doctors, the eagles each moved to Philadelphia, the whippoorwills hated Will's daughter because they kept on telling him to, "whip 'er Will! " the nightingales forgot what time of day they were supposed to come out, the cardinals got in trouble gambling with their, "cards," the wise old owls didn't know, "Hoo" to blame for the trouble, the red birds and blue birds couldn't remember what color they were supposed to be, the mocking birds kept repeating everything, kept repeating everything, (like that), the humming birds demanded some different lyrics, the robins commenced to, "robin' " all the other birds and the sparrows had to change their names because even they didn't get, "spared" in that terrible tragedy. The term, "bird-brain" became more obvious since they were not, "egg"-zactly the best rules to follow, "egg"-cept when things are going along well anyway and the, "yoke" wasn't, "white" on them when they got, "shell"-fish. The smartest creatures on Earth, "omelette"-ing you know, "the 'yoke,' was on all of them" "white" away, if I don't come, "over-easy" it won't, "scramble" my brains, "while" much while sitting on my front, "poach. The problem is my friend, Lester says eggs are not too healthy so I don't, "call-Lester-all" that much since he, "wren" to help with some operations. They wanted to do brain surgery, but couldn't get any, "a-'nest'-etists" to, "flock" there.

The author of this story is a red-head who never, "read-heads" on anything bad said about somebody else without hearing both sides of the story first, even a bunch of birds weather it's a flock, a covey, a gaggle, a lot or a bunch. They really do, "crow" on me be,-"Kaws" each time they, "off-spray" the other birds, but I like to, "see-gulls" because I'm a, "gull-watcher." Also remember to treat all of your fine-feathered friends with respect and dignity so they'll be around for future generations to enjoy or even plant some, "bird seed" to see if that will grow any more of them. Also if you will put your, "cart-in" the right place, "hens" being nice, you won't have to, "wing it." Those are just a few words of wisdom coming, " 'egg-sclusively" from me, "white" to you, " 'egg'-zactly" with no, "egg on my face," 'egg'-sept if you wanted to, "eggs"-amine by an, "eggs"-ray which happens to be, "egg"-zactly on the inside of my little, tiny pea-brain. An e. e. g. was done on me, but not only could I not spell e. e. g., but the doctors couldn't find my brain. Then they did a catskan, a dogskan and every other test on me. (That dogskan was extremely, "Ruff!" to say the least), even though my dog yelled, "Aw, 'person-gone it!' " They shined a light into my ears to check for wax and it shined out the other ear. Then they determined that my little, tiny p-brain wasn't even worth photographing up that close. Even the brilliant philosopher, Socrates would have, "socked" me since he wouldn't have been able to find it. I would have even confused a a wise Chinese man who goes by the name Confusions.

I thank you for taking the time to read this so-called, "brilliant" story. It's been written by a, "punny" author who loves all my fine-feathered friends, the birds of every species because that is the kind of brain I have. Thank you for taking time to read this whole document, but I hope it was exciting enough so you were not, "bird" wile reading it.

The end. By, Cuz Roye.