Devotion

It is the day of the ceremony that will finally change my fate.

The day I become Queen.

The hall is long. Filled with red ribbons and people dressed in white. Their faces covered

as they bow. I was dressed in a pure red gown, matching the red carpet that stretches

the length of the hall.

The dress is wide, trailing far behind me. Its corset tight around my torso, constricted my

abdomen enough to steal the very breath out of my lungs. The red veil that covers my

face, blurs my vision. I keep my gaze lowered, never making eye contact with Father,

allowing myself to only look two steps ahead as I reach the podium. Statues of the

previous Queens stand above me, their eyes carved to look down as Father stands tall

before them.

I do not look up.

“You may all rise,

” his voice echoes within the walls. The sound of movement follows,

but I remain still. I keep my head low as he continues, “for years, our Queens have

guided and protected us. Each is chosen, not by blood, but by-

” he pauses.

“

-her grace, her purity… and her willingness to give everything for her people, ”

I have heard these lines since I can first remember. They were carved into me long

before I knew what they meant.

Long before I knew that I was to be the next Queen.

“Your majesty, you may now rise, ” I looked up, my gaze catching onto Fathers’ chest,

clothed in white. He wore his necklace, it hung low on his neck, dangling in front of me

like a curse. It was a perfect circle of gold, glinting in the light like something unbroken.

Or something that never ends. “For generations, our Queens have stood as the heart of

this kingdom, ” Father says, his voice steady, practiced.

“They have guided us, protected us and given their lives so that we may endure.

”

He begins to circle slowly around me.

“It is not blood that makes a Queen, no. Not their lineage, nor their name, ”

A pause.

“It is their devotion.

” I feel his gaze settles on me, his piercing blue eyes shooting holes

as he lowers his voice.“To be a Queen it is to carry the weight of every life within these walls. To place your

people above yourself…above your future…above your very own life.

”

My breath catches in the back of my throat. I had never thought of it that way.

The hall fell silent as the line fell from his tongue.

He breathed them like something rehearsed. Like something he had spoken many

times.

“This is not a crown of power”

Another pause.

“It is a crown of great sacrifice for the kingdom. ”

The words settle heavy in the air as I felt the tears start to well up. I was not told this.

His voice softens as I felt him approach me again. “And today, we honor one who has

been prepared for this moment since childhood. One who understands what it means

to give everything” he circles back around in front of me. Lifting the gold crown speckled

in red rubies.

“Kneel.

”

I lower myself gracefully down to my knees, feeling the tears that I held glide down my

cheeks. No one is to see my face anyway.

The crown is heavy, weighing down on my head as I stand. I look into Fathers eyes, his

icy blue gaze glint with excitement, as a small smile plays on his face. He is not too old,

but he is also not young. Fine lines crease along his eyes and forehead; his long silver

hair is pulled into a tight ponytail. His features are sharp, and well defined – almost

ethereal. He nods for me to turn, and I comply. I feel the tightness of my gown start to

tighten over me as I look over the crowd of white, no cheers or celebrations, just

faceless people staring at me.

I bow, keeping my head low.

People start to stop their feet, the sound echoing through the hall.

I lift my head slowly, preparing to recite the words that I have been practicing for years.

“Thank you, my people. I will serve you with my grace, I will bless you with my purity and

…. I-

” My voice falters, as I push a small cough out forcing myself to stand taller.

Breathing deeply, I speak my final words,

“I will give you everything”

The stomping rises again, louder this time as I Iay myself bare before them. The veil is

lifted from my face, and I lower myself once again, kneeling before the kingdom.

My kingdom.I feel Father step behind me before his hand settles on my shoulder, the coldness

seeping through the fabric of my dress,

“you’ve done well my child, ” he steps in front of

me again, pushing me back as he throws his hands in the air, “Thank you my people for

bearing witness to this momentous day. May peace be with you,

”

I watch as they all bow, before filing out of the room in coordination. Father comes up to

me, guiding me to follow him through the door behind the altar.

I follow.

“I am so proud Annalise, you have done well, ” I keep my head down as I continue to

follow him, “you are everything I knew you could be, ” I felt myself nod slightly, but

something did not feel right.

“Father, what did you mean by putting the people’s life above my own, ” I watched as he

tensed a little, before quickly turning to face me.

“I have told you this many of times little one, the people’s life cannot be replaced, you,

you can, ” I felt my blood run cold at that. He had always told me that there was no one

like me, that I cannot be replaced.

That I am special.

I nod anyway; I always do.

He turned away then, walking towards the Centre of the castle. He led me to a room I

had not seen before, deep in the castle’s walls. It was far enough that no one could hear

a scream. He opened the door for me, guiding me in, “I will fetch some maids for you to

get changed. Your true ceremony will begin soon, ” I felt sick to my gut at those words.

Something was not right.

It was quiet when he left, so quite my thoughts seemed to echo against the stone walls

enclosing me. I turned towards the door, considering leaving before forcing myself to

turn away. The room itself was dark, with no natural light reaching this far into the

palace. Candles lit the room, flickering along the walls, casting a warm glow. It did

nothing to ease the chill that ran down my spine. The bed covers were dressed entirely

in white, while the stone stood bare. It felt…wrong. This was not what I was promised. It

felt nearly like the slave quadrants.

The quiet was soon disturbed by light knocking on the door. Before I could respond, it

was quickly opened and followed by multiple women dressed in white with their faces

covered. Exactly like the ones in the ceremony. There were four of them, all surrounding

me without a word. Hands reached for me, but I quickly reacted by slapping one away

and moving back. “What are you doing, ” the lady I had slapped bowed then, moving

back with her hands held up. She spoke no words. Another lady stepped forward,

quickly grabbing the strings of my gown before quickly untying. The other two joinedwhile the first lady stood back keeping her hands held up in a quite surrender. I could

have fought harder, but I didn’t. I let it happen like I have always done. They quicky

undressed me into my under garment before pulling me into a white gown, like the ones

they wore. The only difference was the ruby red gems that hung around the skirt,

catching the candlelight with every movement. My auburn hair was pulled tight, twisted

into a bun at the crown of my head. A scarf was wrapped around my face, so only my

brown eyes were visible. My breath was shallow beneath it all.

When they had finished, they all bowed before three of them left the room. The first lady

stayed back, now bowing towards me. She gestured to me to follow her down the hall.

I did as I was told, hesitating for only a moment.

She guided me through the halls, passing empty rooms. The doors hung open displaying

rooms that looked nearly identical to mine. We passed through the hall before turning

left.

The sound of a child’s laughter echoed down the halls. A faint light coming from one of

the rooms ahead of us, its warm glow flickering as we neared. I felt my heart race, I have

never seen a child, not once. I felt my hand clench to my side. I wonder what they look

like.

As we passed the room, I glanced inside. A young girl sat on the floor with auburn hair,

fair skin and brown eyes. She looked…like me. My body froze as I looked to the man

beside her. He was tall and roguish with bulging muscles. His black hair was cut short,

just a centimeter long, and his features sharp. He looked exactly like my actual father.

My mind started to race then.

My dad was dead though. At least that’s what father said. The man looked at me, his

expression quickly shifting to shocked, he surged to his feet, getting up and slamming

the door shut.

I slowly turned towards the maid ahead of me, she was bowing. Of course she was.

A laugh caught in my throat. Quiet and all wrong. Just as everything in this palace.

My father was alive, if he really was my father.

I had seen him.

I felt my breath catch as sudden realization washed over me. Everything was a lie. My

whole life is a lie.

I did not move, even as the maid tried to lead me again.

Something was telling me to run. Far from this palace. Far from these lands.I quickly turn, walking as fast as I could away from the maid. I heard her short footstep

follow me as she grabbed me.

“I’m trying to save you. ” I look at her shocked. Her voice was hoarse, as though she had

not used it in years.

“What?” she nodded to me then, pulling on my sleeve and leading me down the hall

again. The sound of running and yelling could be heard down the hall as a crowd of men

appeared. She grabbed me then, pulling me close, “run your highness, ” I looked down to

her, catching her eyes through the fabric, they were filled with fear,

“and save us please,

”

I did as she told, running with speeds that were not possible in this dress and in these

shoes. I looked back to see the maid standing firmly, ready to hold the men back. I

watched as they reached her, drawing a sword. I quickly turned, not prepared to face the

consequences.

Tears blurred my vision as I ran.

Something inside me wanted to scream. I couldn’t.

I will not.

I ran, past rooms, past lives that could have been mine.

I ran away from the truth I do not have the courage to face.

And for the first time in my life – I did not believe in their lies.