Zombies Sound Safer Than My Family

Most people are scared after and during an apocalypse. Am I?

Nah.

I basically run around with LOSER tattooed on my forehead; I'm sure a few zombies aren't scarier than half the bullies at Gire High School.

I'm that Harry Potter nerd. The computer nerd. The Percy Jackson nerd. Guess what?

I'm a nerd.

You know, in case you haven't noticed.

Want to know what's ironic? My best friend is captain of the football team. Boy, does that have its advantages. My bestie can beat up Andrew Vanderwalk, Jake "The Pit (DON'T ask, you'll regret it)" Jackson, and about 18 other buff guys. It has its disadvantages, if you could believe it. Ben is male. I am female.

Yup.

I know exactly what you were just thinking.

A boy and a girl? Wow, they should kiss.

That's what everybody thinks, so yeah.

Just about now, I'm thinking that too. Not gonna lie. Considering we just witnessed a zombie apocalypse, I'm sure one little kiss wouldn't hurt. Or two. Or fifteen. Or more than kissing...

OKAY.

That escalated quickly.

But then again, so did this town.

I'm not gonna go into detail, but a super smart, super pretty, super forgivable 17-year-old genius created a portal to the fourth dimension that may or may not have made a gateway for thousands of zombies to come waltzing into the town of Gire, hurt a few people, and die the second the sun came out the next day.

If you hadn't already guessed, I'm the super smart, super pretty, super forgivable (you know, in case you missed that part) genius that started a zombie apocalypse. Buuuut... nobody knows it was me.

I should feel guilty.

But come on, people. Don't you realize what scientific discovery I just made? Being able to travel to other dimensions? Yeah. Who's the nerd now?

Pff.

Still me.

Too bad the machine self-destructed after a very nice girl hit the self-destruct button.

Me?

Of course not.

Maybe.

Yes.

I did destroy the only thing that could make me popular. God, I'm stupid.

Not really. But you know what I mean.

Sooooo...that's pretty much it.

I nearly destroyed my town, I'm still a nerd, and I'm still thinking about how to explain to my family it was me who released thousands of zombies from another dimension into our peaceful, (mostly) loving town without getting myself killed.

Right about now, I'm guessing I would have been safer with the zombies.

How did I even get myself into this?

Oh, you're gonna be sorry you asked that.

How about, "Oh, it's alright, Callie. I'm sure your loving and understanding family and friends can forgive you, because you're so beautiful and smart!"

Yeah, nobody's ever going to say that to me.

They'll probably say the opposite of that.

And then kill me.

I'm really starting to think I should have called a zombie uber or something.

I've actually been working on Mike (yes, I named a magical portal) for about 2 years now. Well, I've technically only been working on Mike for 3 months.

Jared, Kelly, Jim, Ophelia, and Greg went boom.

I guess Mike did, too, if you think about it. But at least he did his job.

Good for nothing portals that can bring their inter-dimensional friends to destroy a town, am I right?

You're probably wondering how I'm taking this so well. Wanna know something?

I am too.

Ooh. Bingo.

I have a plan.

Step 1: Gather everything I need to create Jessica (my future portal).

Step 2: Build Jessica.

Step 3: Use Jessica to travel to some other dimension so my family won't murder me for almost destroying the entire town.

Yep, I would say that's a pretty solid plan.

Or maybe I should take the zombie uber. I could take Ben with me and we could get married and get rich from the billions I'll make as a scientist and we can buy a big house and get a gerbil-no, a dog- named Hermie. (For a super smart junior in highschool, I, apparently, suck at grammar; please refer to the run-on sentence above if you didn't notice.)

Nah, that won't work. My lab blew up when Mike self-destructed.

Maybe my family won't be hard on me. Maybe they'll understand that their daughter is a brilliant genius. Maybe they'll understand that nobody died, and that they love me.

Pff.

Ha.

BWAHAHAHA.

Let's be honest. That is not a possibility. And besides, my sister, little miss perfect, who has won countless beauty pageants, broke her wrist because she punched an inter-dimensional zombie in the face, and its head promptly rolled off.

That's really too bad. I'm sure that zombie could drive.

If my parents found out that it's my fault my sister can't attend any more pageants in the near future because she has a bulky cast on....once again, I'm missing the zombies.

It's been 3 days since the zombies evaporated in the sunlight (is anybody else getting a Minecraft vibe from that???), and the town is slowly recovering. The grocery stores just reopened, and my parents think there's going to be pageants anytime soon?

Some people were not blessed with the smarts that I was.

Anyway.

I'm bored.

Everything is shut down, there's nothing to do, and a freaking zombie ate my sketchbook.

Come on, guys. You really had to take my only source of entertainment?

Yes, I've been talking to Ben and hanging out with him, but there's only so much you can know about a person. Especially considering I've been talking to Ben and hanging out with him for 15 years.

Here I am, talking about this, when I should be deciding if I should tell everybody that I caused everything.

Not really.

I already know I'm not. I like my life.

And besides, if I did?

Well, let's say the bullies from school would look like butterflies compared to what that would be like.

Maybe someday I'll tell them.

Over text.

When I'm in a different state.