Building the Palace

Michael pranced through the small apartment, pulling his new wife behind him by her hand. It was an old one-bedroom apartment with hardly any storage, a leaky sink, holes in the ceiling, and carpet that looked older than the building itself. But to Michael and Sarah, it was their very own, and that’s all that mattered.

They got married just a week earlier, and had since been on their honeymoon. This was their first night as a married couple in their own apartment. Michael grabbed Sarah and twirled her around as she laughed, both of them in ecstasy with each other.

“You make me the happiest man alive!” Michael declared, and brought her into a kiss.

After kissing him back for several seconds, she pulled away and replied with a grin, “Well, you make me the happiest person alive.”

Michael couldn’t help but smile even more at the comment. He twirled her again and gestured to the apartment. “My queen,” he said, “I present to you, our palace! It might not seem like much right now, but one day I promise to buy you a castle!”

Sarah giggled and gave him a hug. “All I need in a palace is you.”

Suddenly the moment was interrupted by rap music coming through the walls. It must have been from their neighbors, who either didn’t know or didn’t care that the walls were paper thin. However, nothing could disrupt the newlyweds’ joy, and Michael held out his hand.

“My love, would you like to dance?” he asked.

“Yes, please!” replied Sarah, and they both laughed in glee as they swung around the kitchen together.

***

8 years later

***

“See you later, Michael. Have a good weekend,” came a voice from the hall. It was Michael’s coworker, Jerry, but he didn’t even register the goodbye.

It was 6:02 pm on Friday, and most of the office had left an hour earlier. Michael, in his usual pattern, decided to stay late. He was on the verge of getting a big promotion, and if he got it his salary would increase by over 50%. He was convinced that this was what his family needed, so a few late nights at work to guarantee the promotion seemed well worth the sacrifice.

His eyes were red and dry as he stared at his computer screen for another hour, and then longer. As a data analyst, he lived by spreadsheets and numbers, but by 7:30 he had been working for 12 hours, and he was finally worn out.

He turned off his computer, grabbed his keys, and went to leave. He took a couple of steps and then paused. If he brought his laptop home, he could work over the weekend. Sarah hated it when he brought his laptop home, but she just didn’t understand what was at stake. He was the one sacrificing for them. So he grabbed his laptop, turned out the lights, and left. Any arguments with Sarah would seem like nothing once he got the promotion.

Michael’s drive home was short, having missed the rush hour traffic that day. As he drove, he couldn’t help but think he was forgetting something, yet he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He replayed his day in his head and was sure he had done all his work correctly and hadn’t missed any meetings or deadlines. No matter, he had his laptop with him and would be able to figure it out at home.

He soon pulled into the garage. It was a two-car garage attached to a modest house in a comfortable neighborhood. A far cry from the apartment they had started out in, but in Michael’s mind it was still far too small for what his family needed. After all, they had two kids now and a third on the way. He needed to make more money.

Michael got out of the car and slowly opened the door to the house. He could faintly hear his family upstairs and smiled to himself. That would give him the chance to drop his work laptop off in his office without Sarah seeing. He quietly walked to his office and placed his computer gently on the desk, trying not to make a sound. After a moment’s hesitation he also opened it up and checked for any emails that might have come in during his drive. There were none, so he closed it again and walked to the kitchen.

Dinner was cleaned up, so Michael grabbed a couple of protein bars from the pantry to eat. By then it was just past 8pm, and he could still hear voices upstairs, so he figured he should go tell the little ones good night before they were asleep. He tiredly walked up the stairs and saw that Jess’s door was closed. She was the three-year-old and usually went down first. Michael shrugged indifferently. He missed her bedtime more often than not, and he’d see her tomorrow.

He turned the corner and walked into Brady’s room. Brady was six, and he typically went to bed a bit later than Jess. Sarah was sitting by the bed singing to him.

“Hey buddy,” Michael said. Brady looked up and smiled.

“Dad!” he said. “We won our game!” He pointed to a little golden trophy with a baseball bat and ball on it that was displayed proudly on his dresser.

Suddenly, Michael realized that’s what he had forgotten. Tonight was Brady’s last T-ball game of the season. Michael had promised him that he’d come, but he had been so consumed in his work that he had completely forgotten. He hadn’t made it to any of his other games either. Luckily, kids forgave easily. Unfortunately, by the look in Sarah’s eyes, it seemed wives took a little bit longer.

“Good job, bud! I’m so proud of you!” Michael said. “I wish I could have been there.” He glanced at his wife and saw the words, “Then why weren’t you there?” in her expression, so he quickly turned his gaze back to his son.

“I wish you were there too, dad,” the tired boy said.

“Maybe I’ll have more time next year,” Michael replied. “Now go to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He quickly turned out of the room and walked back down the stairs, intentionally avoiding any interaction with his wife.

Once downstairs, he rushed to the office and opened his work computer. He figured he’d have a few minutes before Sarah came downstairs to punch in a few more numbers. But once he started, he got into the flow of things, and he soon sat down completely absorbed in his work. He never heard Sarah’s approaching footsteps.

“You promised him, Michael,” Sarah said. Michael jumped at the unexpected voice and jerked his head towards the door. He realized too late that she caught him with his work laptop once again.

“You promised Brady that you would come to his game,” she said. Her eyes were glistening as tears started to well up.

“He’s fine, kids are resilient,” Michael replied. “Besides, what I’m doing now is going to help him much more than my presence at a baseball game. He won, anyway.”

“He cried!” Sarah yelled, the tears now streaming down her cheeks. “He cried for an hour after the game ended! He said over and over again, ‘Dad promised he’d come. Why didn’t he come?’ I cried too! We all cried! Don’t you care!?”

Michael stood up in surprise. He seemed to disappoint Sarah more and more these days, but she had never yelled like that before. It must be the pregnancy hormones, he rationalized. And then he processed what she said and got defensive.

“Of course I care!” he yelled back. “Why do you think I do it? Do you think I like working 12 hour days!? I do it for you! I do it for all of you!”

“No, you don’t!” Sarah screamed, absolute rage in her voice as the dam broke. “You do it all for yourself! None of us care about your stupid promotion! We just want you! And that’s the only thing you refuse to give us!”

Michael felt like he had been slapped in the face. Did she really think it was selfish? Was it selfish? Suddenly he wasn’t so sure.

“Sarah,” he said, talking softly again. “Do you remember what I said to you on our first night in that dumpy apartment we started in? I said I’d buy you a castle because you’re a queen. I meant it.”

“Do you remember what I said?” she shot back. “I said I didn’t need a castle, I just needed a home with you in it.” She paused, and took a deep breath. “But I don’t even know if that man exists anymore. Michael, who are you? Because you are not the man I fell in love with.”

Michael didn’t say anything for several moments. He stared awkwardly at his feet while he tried to find some way to resolve the situation. Finally, he looked back at Sarah and said, “I’m so close to the promotion. I think they’ll offer it to me on Monday if I can just get a bit more work done this weekend. The increased salary will make everything better.”

Sarah threw her hands up in frustration. “You just don’t get it, do you?” she asked. “So let me spell it out for you. Tomorrow morning I’m taking the kids to my mom’s house. We’ll spend the weekend with her. Then, on Monday, I might come back with the kids. Or I might come back with divorce papers. I haven’t decided yet. Although if you mention that horrible promotion one more time then I think my decision will be made.”

With that she turned around sharply and walked out of the room. Michael could hear her sobbing as she went. He hardly registered it though as he slumped back into his chair. Where had it all gone wrong?

Michael sat in that chair for a while, his wife’s question ringing in his ears. “Who are you?” He realized that he didn’t even know the answer to that question. For years he had been telling himself that he was the man willing to make any sacrifice for his family. But now it seemed he had it backwards, and he was sacrificing his family for everything else.

He eventually wandered to the guest bedroom and had a sleepless night there. In the morning he got up and helped Sarah get the kids ready to go. The tension in the air was palpable, and the two of them didn’t speak a word to each other the whole time. Once the kids were ready, he kissed them goodbye and watched his family drive away.

Michael walked into his office and sat down, staring at his computer. Even after everything that had happened, he felt a burning desire to do more work. Yet somehow, he knew that if he spent the weekend working, he would lose his family for good. Eventually, after a long internal wrestling match, he stood up and said out loud, “Michael, you’ve always told yourself that you’re a family man. It’s time to buck up and become one.”

He knew the temptation to work at home would be too great if he was there all weekend by himself with the laptop. So, he drove to his workplace and dropped it off before he could change his mind. Once back home, Michael sat down on the living room couch and looked around. His eyes landed on their family photo books. Sarah loved compiling pictures every year into cute books, and Michael decided to grab them and flip through them.

The oldest books contained happy family pictures. But as he continued to look through them, he noticed that pictures with himself became less frequent as the years progressed. His smile was smaller and his eyes were distracted in the pictures he was in. Eventually he got to the most recent book and saw he was hardly in it at all. He started to cry as the realization sunk home that he was well and truly absent from his family.

The day passed slowly, as did the next. But by the end of the weekend, he had made a decision. He was going to do whatever it took to get his family back. So, he grabbed several of his favorite family pictures, put them in his work bag, and went to bed.

The next day, at work, was when the true temptation came. Michael had been at his desk for less than an hour when his boss called him into his office for some “good news.” Knowing what was coming, Michael looked at one of the family pictures he brought in and walked to his boss’s office.

Fifteen minutes later Michael was in his car in the parking lot. He texted Sarah: “I got offered the promotion. I turned it down. I’m also taking the rest of the day off. I think I might get fired. I’m gonna grab the baseball gear from home and head to Merlin-Olsen Park. I’d love to meet you and the kids there if you’re willing. Love you!” He closed his phone, took a deep breath, and then started driving.

***

1 year later

***

“It’s so messy!” Jess squealed, holding a hotdog overloaded with condiments that were spilling onto her hands. She was sitting in the bleachers of their local baseball field with her parents and new baby sister.

“That’s how a proper hotdog is supposed to be,” Michael replied enthusiastically. His hotdog was just as messy, and he made a show of taking a huge bite, ketchup and mustard getting all over his face.

“Ewww!” yelled Jess. “But I’m a girl, and girls aren’t supposed to be messy!”

“What was that?” Sarah asked. She was holding the baby on the other side of Michael, and had also made a mess on her face when she heard their conversation. Now she turned to look at Jess, and the four-year-old saw her mom with even more ketchup on her face than her dad had.

Jess burst out laughing. “You’re both so messy!” She couldn’t resist though and covered herself in toppings too as she took a big bite.

“That’s my girl!” Michael said, and wrapped an arm around her to give her a squeeze. He looked towards the field and saw Brady taking some practice swings by the dugout.

“Guys, Brady is almost up!” he said. “Make sure to watch!”

The family all turned their attention to the field, and Brady soon walked up to the plate. Michael cheered his name, but Brady was laser focused. Now that he was 7-years-old he was in a machine pitch league, and that required a lot more concentration than T-ball.

The machine in the center of the infield made a loud sound, and a baseball was launched towards the plate. Brady took a swing and made contact, landing a solid line drive down the field.

The family cheered like crazy as he ran to first base, Michael being the loudest of all. Once on base, Brady turned and waved to his family, his smile spreading from ear to ear. Michael and the family waved and cheered some more.

As the game progressed, Michael couldn’t help but reflect on everything that had happened in the last year.

It had been hard to overcome a work addiction. Even harder was earning back Sarah’s trust. He wasn’t perfect at either, but he worked hard at it and made good progress. Surprisingly enough, getting fired two months into it helped more than almost anything else he did.

After losing his job he got hired at a smaller company with a much more relaxed culture. He had a smaller salary now, but only ever worked 40 hours a week at most, with weekends off and plenty of PTO. He had hours every day with Sarah and the kids, and he made it to every single one of Brady’s baseball games.

As the months had continued, he fell more in love with Sarah again, and she eventually fell back in love with him too. Gone were the late nights working and constant arguments. Now their evenings were filled with play time, laughter, dancing, and joy. They didn’t have the money for big vacations or all the small house repairs they needed. But those things didn’t seem to matter much anymore.

“Run, Brady, run!” Sarah yelled, and Michael turned his attention back to the game. The next batter had a good hit, and Brady made it to second base. The family erupted in cheers once again. Two more hits and Brady ran back to home base, scoring a point and many more cheers.

The game passed quickly, and although Brady’s team lost, he spoke excitedly about his good hits and his run during the drive home. They all decided to celebrate with ice cream, and sat around the kitchen eating, talking, laughing, and making bigger messes than they had with the hot dogs.

Soon it was late, and bedtime was approaching for the younger ones. “I think it’s about time we wrapped up to get ready for bed,” Sarah said.

“Can’t we just stay up a little bit longer?” asked Jess. Brady nodded enthusiastically, and even baby Lydia babbled her agreement.

Sarah looked at Michael and put her hand on his arm. “What do you think, dear?”

“I think,” he said, looking at the pleading faces of his kids, “that we have just enough time for a … dance party!” He jumped up from his chair, turned on some music, and started to dance with all the energy and goofiness that only a dad can manage. The kids squealed in delight and quickly followed suit, as did Sarah with the baby. They all danced and laughed the night away, filled to the brim with joy, love, and a little bit of ice cream.