Coloring With Dreams

Coloring With Dreams

“What you are saying is that our dreams are a way we rid ourselves of unnecessary emotional integrity, without need of a psychoanalyst ? I find your supposition naïve.”

Smith, or Dr. Smith as he prefers to be called, was surprised by my rhetorical reply. He is not used to being challenged or criticized for his work in the area of Superficial Beliefs. He had spent the past ten years defining and redefining terms as they applied to Cognitive Evacuation; a term most often misinterpreted by those who believe dreams are strictly a form of amusement during brief interludes of hibernation.

He had spent his graduate studies in and around bears in the upper Northwest Territory, during their season of relaxed cognitive function. He had hours of film, bears smiling, groaning, whimpering, and dozens of other expressions normally attributed to humans while dreaming. One day a distraught Grizzly woke earlier than expected, Dr. Smith had just finished preparing tea in the recesses of the bears den. He found himself with no exit that didn’t require him moving within a few feet of the no longer comatose animal. He knew the disturbing reputation of Grizzlies was founded on research he’d intended to read, but with the advent of cameras and artificial intelligence he’d become distracted. He was now aware of his mistake, but could think of no practical solution for his predicament. He was aware of bears inclination toward violence, and decided to retreat while the opportunity existed.

Smith, as I prefer to call him, had ignored my warnings about the negative possibilities of working alone and the consequences of doing so. I had seen the movie about the hiker who fell into a fissure and had to, after much suffering, be forced to rely on amputation to free himself. I also had a similar experience when I tripped over a section of hose on my neighbor’s lawn and twisted my ankle. I spent several minutes retrieving my cell phone from her flower bed, and then waiting in agony for the rescue squad to arrive while lying like an abandoned sea lion pup in the afternoon sun. So, I know what working alone in unfamiliar territory can lead to.

Smith is the type of person who only believes what he himself asserts. Warnings to him are mere suggestions of incompetent planning that he considers hearsay advice from someone without a proactive attitude. Luckily for him the bear remained groggy as he slipped passed him and headed for the cave entrance. Had he not tripped on a knapsack that contained his lunch he would have escaped unharmed. The last thing he remembered as he fell into the blackness was “have I turned the gas off on the portable stove, and who will drink the tea.” Although Smith was adventurous by nature, he was thrifty to the point of being thought of as “tight” by his colleagues.

Smith I can report was unharmed physically, the bear apparently took one look outside at the falling snow and decided he’d go back to sleep and wait a little longer for spring to arrive. Smith, however, didn’t fare as well. His head managed to find an anvil left by a retired blacksmith who’d fallen on hard times. Technology had surpassed his ability to assimilate into a new world, and he had been forced to take up residency in the cave, the rent being negligible and the company, well…he’d had worse.

When in the field we are required to check in at the main office once a week, preferably more often. Smith, however, found regulations to be constraining. The unnecessary restrictions he believed limited his creative approach to scientific experimentation, and therefore he ignored them. His injury, although not fatal, left him shall we say, nearly a different person. Many said that his encounter with death left him a more tolerable person; not so much that they associated with him more than necessary, but they did agree they could be in the same room with him after his mishap for up to fifteen minutes longer than previously; one said twenty minutes and was ridiculed to the point of resignation.

Smith was unsure of how long he’d been unconscious, but when he woke the grass was several inches tall and the valley was being held hostage by an abundance of wildflowers. The bear had apparently moved on. Not having eaten for several months tends to leave you not only irritable, but not nearly as selective about the available fare as you might have been in the fall when the salmon were abundant and the blue berries a thing that dream are made of.

Speaking of dreams, I should note that Smith, who had a reputation as a documentarian, had neglected to remember much of the experience except for his dream. He had begun to tell me, in detail, about his dream experience; being lost in an African jungle while in search of the famed Dr. Livingston; no relation to him, he made that abundantly clear. He was, although known for frugality, also acknowledged for his resentment of those who disappeared, like Amelia and Dr. Livingston, I presume. He claimed incompetence was only heralded when so a called disaster claimed the only evidence. Smith was convinced they had both, and many others also became lost purposely to enhance their social standing, and after a time, were too embarrassed to return; the questioning would have relentless and proven them to be frauds.

Rather than I attempting to translate his dream I suggested he write, if possible, his remembrance of it and how it impacted not only his work, but his life. He agreed if allowed to keep the rights to his writings as he’d planned to write a memoir one day, and given his present situation, he would be paid for working on it while educating the younger staff members on how to survive during a traumatic situation, without having to forfeit their academic as well as their personal standing in the scientific community. I agreed and Smith departed for a small cabin that once belonged, he claimed, to someone called Walden, supposedly an aficionado of the great outdoors and the philosophy that stemmed from it.

August 19,

To preface my dream as I have been asked if I would mention that I have no recollection of the time frame over which it occurred, but I do credit the dream for saving my life. Many who had forfeited their dreams lost their lives tragically because of the miscalculations of environmental scientists.

I found myself standing on a golden hill brighter than the sun overlooking the Potomac flood zone. I looked well rested, dressed in a coat made of prairie chicken feathers, and a hat made from a white beaver pelt. I looked exceptionally good.

It was snowing the day I was sworn in as Secretary of the Interior; not a rare event, but one that made schools reluctant to open and cabs impossible to find. Although I could see no reason a Secretary of the Interior was needed, I agreed to accept the position with a provision that guaranteed I would retain my rights and privileges as a ranking member of the Boy Scout Initiative; a group of dedicated individuals devoted to maximizing the common wealth resources of US citizenry by using previously protected land to accommodate the influx of people no longer able to live along the coastal areas of the country due to inclement weather, and devastating floods do to glacier transformation.

It seemed only logical to me to use our remaining resources to construct new societies in previously uninhabitable regions, while using God’s mineral deposits, and the flora and fauna resources abundant in these areas to make our country exemplary again. My initial proposal was subjected to ridicule until I pointed out that congressional jobs were in jeopardy if something wasn’t done to meet the emerging needs of the newly designated States.

I should explain that many of the States that consisted of land adjoining the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, as well as the Gulf of America, were under 20 feet of salt water, making living conditions extremely difficult even for those that could swim or whose boats weren’t destroyed in the numerous hurricanes, which have become more or less normalized by the few weather bureau personnel left across what remains of our country. Many quit as their lives, and the lives of their families were threatened as the climate began to rebel against the incompetent weather predictions they had made. The few that remained were on snow covered mountain facilities that were inaccessible but for two days in late August; I forget which two.

My proposal included a cost-to-benefit ratio that surpassed expectations of even the AI unit. Because of lowered transportation costs needed for materials, as they would be used on site, reduction of our national debt from the projected 105 Trillion, FEMA you know, by at least 10 million, and that was a conservative estimate. The mines were coupled with smelters providing cheap and plentiful steel, copper, and uranium, while allowing small businesses, cafes, barber shops, and souvenir establishments, to benefit from mega industry initiatives accommodating the explosion of mini homes needed to house a population not used to the severely cold mountain winters and the devastatingly hot desert summers.

Many of the so called “Social Programs” were disbanded due to their ineffectiveness.Emergency Management Agencies were no longer necessary, as there were no longer emergencies; our President has decreed a normalization of all weather-related events making emergencies redundant. Many of the died in the wool critics of our policies changed their tune when the temperature climbed to 152 degrees in Phoenix and their A/C units failed to function. I should amend my statement; that is Phoenix Alaska, commonly mistaken for Phoenix Arizona that is presently a non-state due to unsolvable local border issues.

Food relief programs, housing assistance, child care, social security, health care, and dozens of others were no longer needed, diversity and inclusion were evident everywhere. Everyone was homeless and hungry so there was no need of special programs for the disadvantaged, as they were all equally disadvantaged. I felt extremely fortunate to be considered an essential employee and was able to keep my privileges, although I did feel a certain amount of angst for those less fortunate.

With the continuing weather-related destruction of rail lines, airports and road ways, transportation needs took care of themselves, the added cost of shipping luxury items like bread and potatoes, whose cost skyrocketed to where no one could afford to purchase them without a special exemption allowed essential workers which dropped the price by an estimated 1000 percent. Those not fortunate enough to be awarded special privileges were given small cake certificates from a privatized food distribution facility, former food pantry’s.

The Department of Education was dissolved as schools, those capable of providing survival education were not being used to educate children, were commandeered to house border security officials as the border changes that were Gerrymandered, left some States that had incorporated other states, with no definitive borders, making all borders suspect. Those attempting to cross without official documentation from their state of origin were dealt with severely depending on their point of ancestral origin.

Thankfully, there was an abundance of no longer needed news media personnel and reporters to fill the increased demand for ski instructors, boat repair specialists, and a new agency devoted to preserving shade and below ground tunnel rectification. Although the unemployment rate had been abolished as everyone considers themselves unemployed, people feel confident that with the rejuvenation of coal and fossil fuel exploration, things will return to the normalcy their great grandparents remembered from 100 years previously.

I would like to take a break from articulating our successes and report that war as we knew it is no longer an option. The Dooms Day clock has been reset to 11:59 as the ability of nations to do little more than destroy themselves by nuclear suicide has arrived. With the lack of refineries, do to persistent hurricanes in the Gulf of America, tsunamis and cyclones across the globe, jet fuel and gasoline are no longer available. Electric technology has hopes of reappearing once the generating facilities have been converted to coal, and nuclear waste has been sent safely, thanks to Space Command, to mars for rehabilitation.

The other good news is that all the prisons have been turned into bingo halls. There is no need of prisons when everyone because of the border disputes is considered a criminal and people now have excess leisure time. Also, the taxation without representation amendment referred to in the Bible has been suspended, as have all discretionary taxes in favor of non-discretionary tolls on commerce, which will free up the unproductive time citizens accrue standing in checkout lines only to be told to “come back tomorrow if you feel lucky” by someone who should be grateful for having a job. You will receive a bill each month for the estimated amount of food you are predetermined to have consumed and it will include the added tax for waste removal and be subtracted from all government subsidies you receive.

The death penalty has also been declared unconstitutional along with the Constitution itself. They no longer reflects the lack of will of the citizenry of the greatest country in the world, and the crime of murder, to prevent unnecessary confusion, has been changed from a felony to a misdemeanor, which allows the courts to spend more time on pre-emptive matters like vaccinations for diseases that no longer present a problem as our immune systems have strengthened, thanks to the reintroduction of incandescent light bulbs and tranquilizers.

Voting this November is rumored to have been postdated to November of 2030 because of paper shortages and predictions that we could become extinct by then, making elections obviously unnecessary. I am mortally gratified to thank our courageous leaders across our remaining states for their diligence and foresight in recognizing that all men are created with the inalienable right to be short tempered, given the difficult transition to the past we must endure. I would especially like to thank our illustrious leader for making it possible for me to use my expertise in bovine replacement therapy, to add to the creative ideas that have helped make our new capital on Mt. St. Helens the success it has been, in steering the direction of never before thought of solutions toward the problems caused by those who refused to listen to the predictions surrounding our national debt and its implications.

I am going to leave it there for now, although I have many more examples of how we as a country, and our appointed officials are ushering our country back to a time when the wheel was considered innovation and public education was considered, and rightfully so, a waste of high-income tax payers dividends.

A famous man once said, I forget who, “that between God and the ground, there is a lot of room for expansion.” I assumed he was talking about the abundance of common wealth resources that have been requisitioned for the country’s cause by those of foresight, and have turned their monetary skills toward massaging our country’s will to allow capitalism to provide for our needs, for not only the immediate future, however long that may be, but forever.

There is someone knocking at my door that looks like a police official wantabe, but is masked, so it’s difficult to tell. To be safe I’m going to lock myself in my saferoom and disregard the helicopter noise and the arrival of armored personnel. It is probably a mistake, the last time I looked I was a legal citizen, not to mention a dutiful member of the appointed regime. You have to expect a certain amount of misplaced patriotism when you are attempting to root out subversives who have apparently taken over numerous aging facilities in the area, attempting to convert them to food pantries and schools, Cro-Magnon thinking. Some people only learn the hard way, and “that’s the way it is.”

#

Smith remains, I am told, in his fortified bunker after being awoken by what he claims was someone or something licking his face with a tongue that felt like sandpaper. We, by we, I mean those of us still engaged in preserving the right to disagree with the disagreeable have signed a letter of discontent with the board, previously known as the Department of Education declaring science a sacred right and should be taught in schools.

Smith has turned over only a few pages relating to his dream scape escapade, but claims to be working on being hypnotized by a constant bombardment of lies which will allow him to enter The State of the Dream, as he referred to it. We all wished him luck and offered to drive him to the cave where the new dreamscape program is to be initiated.

Me, I’m going to retire to the boat yard where it is claimed that prosperity rises all boats, regardless of political affiliation.

“ Good night, and good luck!” a quote from the Bean Chronicles, where the limerick “beans, beans, the magical fruit etc.” was coined in an effort to make thinking great again.