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Joe Swanson

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Oct, 2020

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150 Stories

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The Inside of Out

The Inside of Out “If you turn it inside out, then the outside will be technically on the inside, while in fact being on the outside, right?” “Why would you want or need to know that?” “If you wash your closes after turning them inside out, the lint that clings to everything will be on the inside where you don’t see it.” “Yes, but you’ve added two extra steps to your washing process. If you were to encapsulate the amount of extra time needed and determine the time to benefit ratio, after years of doing laundry you would probably have logge...

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Everything Else Is Frosting

Everything Else Is Frosting It was another fall morning. I had opened the windows the previous evening to take advantage of the cooler night time temperatures. I am sitting at the kitchen table looking out the window onto the backyard and an old apple tree whose leaves have begun to blush yellow. I must admit I am a slave to habit; coffee, radio news, more coffee, watching the birds at the feeders and fountain, all events encapsulating a time in my day that allows me to balance both reality and fantasy, mainly from the news, while hoping to...

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The Suitcase

The Suitcase “Could you reach that suitcase?” An old man pointing to the top shelf of his bedroom closet. The suitcase rested on top of boxes marked with labels; photos, mementoes, trips, money-with a ha-ha-written next to it. “What do you need that old thing for. I thought you told me you were going to throw that away. What happened to the one I got you last Christmas?” A prolonged silence took charge of the room, neither of them wanting to begin something they had been trying to avoid for over 30 years. “You going someplace?... You know...

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Spoons

Spoons I pushed the door open and the bells attached to it began to shimmy, but no sound was emitted. I walked to the desk which was covered with note cards so numerous they obliterated the glass; “No Checks-Cash Only.” I read the words out loud, which is a habit I’ve been attempting to break; but In this day and age, who carries cash? I hadn’t come to purchase anything but return something I had purchased a week previously. I rang the bell advertising service. No sound registered. I listened intently and could not hear a summoning noise a...

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It May Be True

It May Be True…Or? “Do I have to decide?” “I think it would be a good idea?” “Who cares what you think?” “I think, maybe you should!” It always seems to be about the choices. When I was five it was, in the mud puddle, or around the puddle, jump off the garage roof, stay on the garage roof; why is life so difficult? Self-imposed challenges change into different choices, but choices all the same. It seems like it is just one choice after the next, and it is never going to end. Good and bad, right and wrong, up and down, in and out, over and u...

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When It All Started

When It All Started… And ended It all started last Christmas. We were at a church social, when Effie our next-door neighbor slipped up behind my wife and just stood there. I knew who she was, everyone did. She was usually the squeaky wheel that got all the grease, leaving everyone else wondering why? But that was fine, as long as she went away and did whatever it is she does. Roy, her husband, I assumed he was her husband but was afraid to ask. He’s a nice enough guy; actually one of the unrecognized saints that walks amongst us. Of c...

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Lies, Confessions, and Us

Lies, Confessions, and Us An interview of a memoir “You lied to me!” “Not exactly; I told you what you wanted to hear.” “Shouldn’t you tell someone that is what you are doing, before you do it?” We can’t all keep track of what we believe and what we don’t; beliefs can change daily, sometimes by the hour. Everything depends on timing, you should know that. I am supposed to keep track of what you believe I believe, for how long? You’re a big boy, build your own mouse trap.” “What is that supposed to mean?” “It means it’s time to start tak...

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A Dent In a Cloud

“What do you suppose that is?” “I don’t have to guess, I know what it is.” “Well, then what is it?” “Why do you want to know?” “Why wouldn’t you want to know?” “It’s just a cloud. You are supposed to tell a cloud what it is, it isn’t supposed to be telling you what it is, unless it has a good reason; tornadoes, hurricanes, white cap festivals; things like that.” I could see where this conversation was going. Some people are naturally curious, while some don’t care unless it affects them directly, and of course by that time it is usually too...

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Hello

Hello! “Welcome to the grand opening of the Alcatraz Dinner. First meals and last meals are 20% off today. Well, actually today and until the grand opening is over; who knows when that might me. My name is Fonz, and I’ll be your server. Please this way; now sit. Best seat in the house. Would you like sometime to look at the menu or do you know what you don’t want to have, and would prefer to think only about what you might consider ordering? Some people put fate to the wind and forget their doctors orders and just live as if there will...

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Thief River

Thief River It seemed like yesterday; the heat, humidity, the sun beginning to disappear behind a veil of ominous clouds. The blankets spread along the river, tables filled with assorted summer staples; potato salad, cheese, sandwiches, fruit; the 4th of July once again had descended upon the town. Porches and doorways display the patriot fervor that continued to grip the community and country after the war finally ended. The boys who left returned as men to take up where they left off tending the fields. The corn was knee high; a gage of h...

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Obit

Obit “You want me to do what?” “I’m pretty sure you heard me, you haven’t lost your hearing have you? “Look, it’s one thing to write about a person who has crossed over, but what you are asking?” “I realize it is not easy, but death is not easy. It is extremely difficult on everyone. Even though it is inevitable, we tend not to believe it could happen to us, at least not in the near future, which puts it into a realm of another dimension. So, just do it. It is your job after all. You don’t want me to get Mortimer to write the obits do ...

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Asleep At the Wheel

Asleep At the Wheel “They are asking us to write a short story about someone who shouldn’t have made it out but did. Out of what, for what purpose? Are we supposed to write a story based on hypotheticals? No direction, no advice, no reasoning behind the question? I’d like to know who made up this question and why?” “All stories are hypotheticals unless you are writing a biography and hopefully telling the truth. Look at it this way. If there were not hypotheticals where would we be?I’m sure we can agree that hypotheticals imply an unce...

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Where The Twain Shall Meet

Where The Twain Shall Meet The wind blew through the open door of the church as the pall bearers assumed their positions alongside the glistening wooden casket. “Go in peace,” the words of the minister echoing off the walls and becoming lost in the murmured prayers ascending into the frescoed dome above the alter. “Go in peace? How else is he going to go? Does the minister think we are going to riot because Harry won’t be joining us at the luncheon? I know that is not a very charitable thing to think as he is being carried from our sigh...

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Alone?

Alone? Are we ever really alone? I feel as though running away from myself is a trick I have yet to master. No matter where I hide, my memories find me. Perhaps it is not a mystery we attribute to our lack of invisibility but a solution to eroding companionships, as time marches toward its destination, wherever that might be. I went deep into the woods, dark with seemingly foreboding despair, until I took the time to sit on the remains of a fallen oak, whose bark had long since relinquished its purpose. Fronds were poking their furled hea...

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Earth Day

Earth Day “The earth remembers what we forget.” Tell me in your own words what you believe these words mean. We have been exposed to the life and times of Jane Goodall, who you know worked with primates. These words however were not written or spoken by her, but by her protégé, Wilhelm Brick, an integral figure in the “Monkeys Are Us” program at Florida’s astronaut training center. The apes are attempting to teach astronaut initiates how to be human once again, as many involved with the NASA program have noticed over the years a sense o...

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