Lavender Skies in the Evening

I plopped down into the old lazy chair and could feel the aged velvet stretching to its breaking point. Looking down between my legs, the lavender velvet had dulled to a pale pink.

Through the open window, the coastal air drifted in—cool, carrying the faint scent of salt and earth from the Mendocino hills that rolled down toward Noyo Bay.

My senses sharpened abruptly, like someone had reached from under me and pinched the tender inner part of my left arm. A rush of cherry tobacco filled my nostrils.

“What?”

“Who’s—”

“Granddaddy?”

I could see him in my mind’s eye, dipping his pipe into a bag of cherry tobacco.

He was an interesting character to many others, but for me, he was just Granddaddy. He liked to sing, garden, and build miniature boats—tiny vessels he’d set afloat in washtubs or ponds…

And sometimes, when the air carried that cool coastal hush, he’d hike down through the Mendocino hills toward Noyo Bay, his small creations tucked carefully under his arm.

I’d trail behind him, trying to match his pace, my old dog Slowpoke padding along beside me—never in a hurry, never falling behind.

The path wound through tall grasses and quiet trees, opening now and then to glimpses of the water below. He never rushed those walks. He’d stop, look out, take something in I couldn’t yet see.

When we reached the edge, he’d crouch low, steady and patient, placing each little boat into the water as if he were introducing it to the world.

We’d watch them drift.

No words needed.

Just the sound of water…

and the feeling that something small had been set free.

I caught a glimpse of the evening sky beyond the trees. A beautiful ombré of lavender hues rested against the silhouette of redwoods, the light fading softly over the distant water.

For a moment, I couldn’t tell where the sky ended and the memory began.

I looked down at my legs and tried to match the lavender of the velvet against the night sky. That kind of attention to little details is something Granddaddy instilled in me.

“Pay attention to color wherever it may arise,” he’d say. “You may never see it again… or you may catch it in the tiniest glimpses of life. Color surrounds you, my dear.”

I used to think the time I spent with him was just that—time.

Simple afternoons. Quiet moments. Nothing that needed holding onto.

But the day we buried him…

that was the day I understood.

Standing there, watching them lower him into the ground, the world felt unbearably still. No cherry tobacco. No quiet humming. No gentle reminders to look closer.

Just silence.

And yet… not empty.

Something in me shifted—soft, but certain.

All those small things I hadn’t thought to keep… had already found a place to stay.

The way he noticed the sky.

The way he moved slowly through a moment, as if it mattered.

The way he saw color where others saw only passing time.

I hadn’t seen it happening.

Not then.

But now, sitting there, with the lavender fading beneath me and above me, I felt it clear as breath—

I didn’t lose him that day.

I began to recognize him…

living in me.

And at that moment, I realized—

that lingering scent of cherry tobacco wasn’t memory alone…

It was him.

Letting me know

he was still there with me.

I loaded the last box into my car, waved my goodbyes to everyone, still feeling the weight of the loss. I climbed into my car and drove home.

The road stretched out in front of me, familiar… but not the same.

I drove in silence.

No music. No distraction.

Just the hum of the engine and something heavier sitting beside me—grief, maybe… or something trying to become more than that.

At a stoplight, I rested my hands on the wheel and let my eyes drift upward.

Lavender… fading into something softer.

And then—

that scent.

Cherry tobacco.

Faint at first… then unmistakable.

I didn’t turn my head.

I didn’t question it.

I just breathed it in.

My mother didn’t tell me what was in the boxes, but I knew they were pieces of him—of Granddaddy.

I carried them inside one by one, setting them down gently near the door.

I was anxious to open them.

And yet… I hesitated.

How much more can I take this evening? I thought.

Perhaps I should just lie down.

Just for a moment.

Just to breathe.

I made my way to the couch and lowered myself into it, letting my body sink, letting the day settle where it needed to.

For a while, I did nothing but breathe.

In…

and out…

And then… I noticed it.

A soft shimmer against the wall.

The crystals hanging in the window were catching the last of the evening light, scattering it across the room in quiet fragments. Small ribbons of color stretched and shifted—

and there it was.

Lavender.

It moved gently across the wall, catching in the frayed edge of a blanket… softening into worn threads like it had always belonged there.

Another faint trace rested along the edge of a picture frame.

A whisper touched the floor.

Everywhere I looked, it appeared in small, quiet ways—never calling attention to itself, only waiting to be seen.

“Pay attention to color wherever it may arise…”

His voice didn’t startle me this time.

It settled.

And just beneath it all…

faint, but certain—

cherry tobacco.

Morning came softly.

No heaviness.

No weight pressing against my chest.

Just light.

Clear, steady light pouring through the window, touching everything it could reach as if it were beginning again.

Then I remembered the boxes.

They sat where I had left them—quiet, patient.

Waiting.

I knelt down beside them and opened the first.

Most of what I found were small things… trinkets. Little pieces my mother must have thought I would enjoy in his place.

An old sweater, still holding the faintest trace of him.

A pipe—worn smooth from years of use.

Then I saw it.

A smaller box, tucked slightly aside.

I lifted the lid.

Inside… miniature sailboats.

All colors.

Carefully made.

I reached in and picked one up, turning it gently in my fingers.

There was a name.

I pulled out another.

And another.

Each one… carried a tiny name across its side.

Something stirred deep within me now.

One by one, I lifted them from the box, until my hand brushed against a familiar shade.

Lavender.

I held it there for a moment before bringing it closer.

And when I turned it…

I saw it.

Tina.

My name.

My heart didn’t break—

it opened.

Wide. Full. Overflowing.

He had seen me.

Not just as I was…

but as someone worth remembering.

I pressed the small boat gently to my chest, closing my eyes as the feeling moved through me—

love, steady and certain.

And just beneath it…

faint, but unmistakable—

cherry tobacco.

Sometimes the smallest memories

leave the largest…

and longest lasting.