The Locket

The Locket

Nelson picked up the fallen object and turned it over in his hand. The silver heart locket looked old from the tarnish around the face and edges. He opened to find his wife on one side, a black and white photo when she was in her early twenties. Short curls around her face and the smile he fell for, a smile which looked like it held a secret she wanted to share with only you. To his dismay, the other side had a black and white photo of his brother. He guessed her smile had hidden a secret for years, one she never shared with him or was going to share. He wondered if there’s a reason to put someone in a heart shaped locket except love.

Nelson interrupted, May, his wife of thirty years, bent over her sewing machine, quilting another blanket for a grandchild. Each grandchild received a baby quilt and a graduation quilt. Many a night he sat with her while she quilted and sewed, discussing various topics and enjoying each other’s company. Her hair was going gray, but at a turtle’s pace, whereas his left his head like the rabbit off the starting line.

“Look what I found.” He held the locket out, defiant, taking short, quick breaths.

“What were you doing going through my things?” May’s usual patient kind face hardened in a flash.

Nelson was taken back. He was upset and had a right to be, what was she unhappy about?

“That isn’t important. I want to know why my brother’s picture is in here and why you saved it all these years.” Nelson felt justified in his tone. She knew how he felt about his older brother, the constant competition, not only in baseball, but for their mother’s attention and their father’s approval.

May took the necklace and walked away thinking how men can be obtuse and uncaring. And apparently no respect for privacy of others personal belongings. Honestly, they teach you that in kindergarten.

“I am going to ask you again. Why were you going through my personal things? I believe we have discussed this issue over the years, but it seems to allude your common sense of decency. This locket has been kept in a small gold box in my top dresser drawer for years. A place you have no business being.”

“I was trying to find the pink slip for the car we want to sell. Nothing nefarious or underhanded. Now answer my question as I have answered yours.”

She replaced the locket in its small gold box, setting it under a lavender sachet. She remembered the night Bob gave it to her, the night before he shipped out to Korea, the last time she felt his embrace or his lips on hers.

May didn’t know Nelson when she and Bob dated. It started as a summer fling, dancing all night, swimming in the lake, and intimate picnics. No real reason for the secrecy, it felt more exciting to keep it between themselves. The summer crush become love under an oak tree the last week of August. By the end of September, Bob was KIA and coming home in a box. May met Nelson at the funeral, no one the wiser of her grief. She dated Nelson slowly, refusing to give her heart to anyone, especially when he enlisted for Korea. A year after Nelson returned, courting her steadily, she gave in to her feelings. She held out because it felt like betraying Bob’s memory, but Nelson was a good man and she loved him, not the same love but love none the less.

Nelson stood in the doorway, still waiting on an explanation. He opened his mouth to let his feelings be heard, but May stopped him and told him about her first love. Only the parts she felt he needed to hear.

“I can’t believe this. All these years and holidays at my parent’s house and you never said a word.”

May stared at Nelson like she was seeing him for the first time. “It wasn’t a vital piece of information you or your family needed to know. It wasn’t as if we were engaged or expecting a child. It was a summer crush.”

“You know how I felt about my brother growing up. I was always in competition with him. It seems I still am considering you kept the locket he gave you.”

“This is exactly why I didn’t tell you. You bring up stories from your youth but only the ones where you were the victor over him. The one time you beat him at basketball, the driver’s test you scored one point higher than him. If I told you about him while we dated, you would have chased me as a conquest not a love interest and then held your win over your dead brother’s grave.” May knew Nelson better than he knew himself. It shocked him to realize the truth in what she said.

He didn’t want to ask the question plaguing his mind, but he had to know. “Did you love him more than you love me?”

“Don’t be a fool.” Three children, cancer, unemployment, and a heap of trials in their thirty years and he asks her such a ridiculous question. May relished her role as mother and wife, but on occasion wondered what it would be like to have dinner served to her or have her opinion matter more. The old-fashioned stay-at-home mom was no longer hip, but their nest was empty now, all that remained was the two of them.

“You said on our wedding night I was the first and only, was that a lie?”

May ignored the phone ringing downstairs and his impertinent question. Her anger spilled over from her red face down her tendons on her forearms to her hands clenched tight.

“Is nothing in our marriage to be sacred or private? I have never asked the intimate details of what happened while you were in Korea. Have I? No. Never have I asked about the Swedish secretary you had while the business got off its feet. Or why any song by The Righteous Brothers makes you sad. People are entitled to some private feelings and memories. This precious memory was mine alone. I kept the locket but look at it once a year on your brother’s death date. I remember a sweet innocent time before the war tore families apart. You should have left it alone.” May left with the question of her virginity hanging in the air like a balloon with very little helium.

Nelson heard her banging pots and chopping vegetables for dinner. He slumped in a chair. His whole life he had tried to be better than Bob because he idolized him. Bob had a classic leading actor jawline, sparkling eyes and a smile that stopped traffic. In high school, Bob pitched a no hitter to win the state championship. Nelson cheered from the bench, knowing he could never best him in baseball talent. Things came so easy to Bob, apparently even May. Nelson enlisted for Korea two years after Bob died there, despite his father’s pleas and his mother’s tears. The war was winding down but Nelson still felt to urge to prove himself better than Bob by going to war and surviving.

Reflecting over the marriage, Nelson saw all the good times included May. The children couldn’t have asked for a better mother. May patiently stood beside him as each one of his venture businesses failed. She supported him in every business endeavor. She was truly his better half, reminding him to return the grocery cart, to keep a lid on his temper while driving, and giving him her winning smile when he felt undeserving; now feeling sheepish over his outburst, he sought her out to apologize and try to make amends for trampling on her private memories. That’s what Bob would do and still following in his brother’s shadow, he could give her that.