The Curse of Their Making

The sea had been trying to kill us for eleven days. Eleven days of black waves and screaming wind. Eleven days without sight of the sun. Eleven days of sailors whispering when they thought I couldn't hear them. Curse…Witch…Bad luck…Woman.

The last word always carried the most venom.

I stood at the ship's rail with rain soaking through my cloak and watched another wave crash against the hull. I’ve been here since sunset, growing increasingly frustrated as the crew around me whispered their exasperation at my presence. Tarian left me a note in our room, but I have yet to see him.

My Sirena,

The captain finally agreed to hear me out. Meet me on the quarterdeck at dusk. Stay out of trouble until then.

Yours always,

Tarian

Behind me, the whispers stopped. I didn't need to turn around to know that they were looking at me again. I sighed, lifting my face to the sky, the rain cooling my skin from the summer heat. The stars are hiding behind a brewing storm but the sky is still hauntingly beautiful.

Run! A voice urged, Run, you're in danger!

I frowned, confused. Wha— “You're all alone.” I jumped at the closeness of the voice, turning around, only to freeze when I was met with three of the crew members.

Run! The voice insisted, Run!

“Tarian is coming, I'm not alone.”

The one on the left shook his head, “Tarian is not coming.” My frown deepened.

The middle sailor spoke now, “We told him not to bring you. You shouldn't be here, you're going to be the death of us all.” My heart began to pound.

The one to his right grinned, “He told us you'd be up here.”

My stomach dropped. I have passed these men hundreds of times since boarding this ship, each time feeling their hatred for me. But now it feels different.

They look wild as the rain plastered greasy hair to their foreheads and beards. Salt-cracked skin stretched over hard faces weathered by years at sea. One was missing two teeth when he grinned. Another had a jagged scar running from his temple to his jaw. The third rolled a knife between his fingers as casually as if he were playing with a child's toy.

The voice told me to run. Looking at the men before me, the men I see joining them now, I wish I had listened instead of questioning what was happening. Where is Tarian?

“Leave me at the next stop.” I offered, “If I am such bad luck, just leave me at the next stop. I will find my way home.”

They smelled of saltwater, fish, sweat, and resentment. The man I know to be the captain, the man that Tarian was meeting with, closed the space between the other men and the ship itself, officially blocking my exit and completely closing me in. He shook his head at me, "You don't understand, woman." Rain ran down his face as he studied me. "If you remain aboard this ship, none of us will see another shore."

“Where do you expect me to go? I can’t just leave, we’re in the middle of the ocean.”

No response. From anyone. They all just stared at me, as if the answer was obvious. As if…I noticed the sailor on the right, the one twirling the knife, was looking out to the raging sea and the deck had gone strangely quiet. No one was tending the sails. No one was hauling rope. Every eye on the ship was fixed on me. Not the waves threatening to tear the vessel apart. Not the sails snapping in the wind.

Me.

The ship's rail dug into my back as the realization hit me. I have nowhere to go. “Where is my husband?”

“He’s tied up right now, don’t expect him anytime soon.”

For a heartbeat, all I could hear was the blood rushing in my ears. Their eyes, angry and full of hate, bore into me. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, when a hand wrapped around my upper arm, fingers digging into my skin painfully.

I twisted toward whoever grabbed me, trying to jerk out of their grasp, “Let go of me.” I demanded.

Another hand seized my chin and forced my head forward. My eyes met the captain's, “Your time here has come to an end, lassie. I hope you can swim.”

“Let. Go. Of. Me.” My blood was boiling now. Fury chasing away the panic.

“No.” was his simple response before he stepped back.

“No—” before I could finish my protest, more hands were on me. Ripping off my cloak and pushing me forward.

“You should have never boarded this ship.” One spat he caught and turned me around, holding me in place.

I stomped on his foot, fighting to get free, but more hands landed on me, “Get off of me!” I screamed as I was thrown to the deck. I started to scramble backwards but someone landed on top of me, holding me down as someone else grabbed my legs, “Stop! Tarian!”

“Tarian’s not coming,” The sailor laughed as he forced my legs together. “You're the sea's problem now.”

I started kicking and thrashing, screaming to get free, but more bodies piled on top of me. A knee dug into my stomach. Someone pinned my wrists. Rain stung my eyes. Saltwater filled my mouth as my cheek scraped across the wet deck.

Something rough bit into the skin of my ankles. Rope. My stomach dropped. No. No, no, no. They weren't sending me overboard. They were making sure I wouldn't come back. “Did I say I hope you can swim?” The captain's voice rose above the chaos, “Doesn’t really matter, does it? You won’t be doin’ any swimmin’.”

It wrapped around my ankles, up my calves and to my knees. “No! Please! Let me go!” The bodies on top of me disappeared and I was quickly flipped to my stomach, my arms wrenched behind my back. I bucked, trying to roll away, “GET OFF OF ME!!” My face was pushed to the deck, water sloshing up my nose as the boat rocked with the storm. They began wrapping my wrists in the rope now. I coughed, sputtering as more water entered my nose and mouth, the salt burning my eyes and throat.

I realized with a horrifying cry that there was no escape for me. No way out. No way to even swim my way to safety as they wrapped the rope up to my elbows.

They yanked me to my feet, which were already going numb from the tightness of the ropes, and the captain stepped forward again, but my gaze darted across the deck. The mast. The stairs leading below deck. Anywhere. Everywhere. Looking for him, my husband, the man who promised he would always protect me. He wasn't there.

My eyes settled on the captain, now right in front of me. He grabbed my top in his fist, pushing me back to the ship's rail, “Any last words?”

Tears falling freely down my cheeks, I looked at every sailor before me. Taking in every detail, every scar, every freckle, the look in their eyes, and finally back to the captain.

“I hope this makes you feel safe and strong. I hope you make it back home, with your bounty of fish and I hope every bite makes you sick. Physically, violently ill, but I hope you survive. I hope you make it to the next expedition. And as you reminisce about all the women you’ve thrown over, when your ship sinks in this very spot, I hope you remember me. Remember my face, the look in my eyes, because you, and your entire crew, will meet a truly…unfortunate demise. And as you pass through gates of hell, I’ll be there, waiting for you. You will spend the rest of eternity reliving the storm that sinks you, and the woman who will carve out your soul. I’ll see you soon, Captain.” With a final smirk, he shoved me backwards.

The freefall was almost peaceful. Not because I wasn't afraid, I was terrified. But rage had burned away everything else. With one final breath, I closed my eyes.

Then I hit the water.

The storm seized me like an angry god. Water rushed into my nose and mouth as I was dragged deeper and deeper. The ropes around my legs pulled me downward. My body spun helplessly through the darkness. I couldn't tell which way was up.

My lungs burned as wet fire tore through me. Every instinct screamed at me to breathe. To fight. To survive. I thrashed against the ropes until my muscles trembled with exhaustion, but they held. The harder I fought, the tighter they seemed to become.

The pressure in my chest grew unbearable. I clamped my mouth shut. One heartbeat. Two. Three. Then something cracked.

Not the ropes. Me. Agony exploded through my body. It felt as though my bones were being pulled apart and forced back together. My spine arched violently. My legs convulsed. Fire tore through my veins.

I opened my mouth to scream and seawater rushed in. Instead of drowning, the pain grew worse. Something ripped open along my neck and the world became a blur of darkness and agony. I felt my skin splitting, my legs twisting, my bones grinding against one another. The need for air vanished and the realization hit me moments later. I was breathing underwater.

Terror unlike anything I had ever known crashed through me. This wasn't possible. This wasn't happening. I forced my eyes open expecting darkness. Instead, I saw everything.

The water around me glowed with an eerie blue light. Tiny silver fish darted through the currents. Far above, distorted by the waves and storm, I could still make out the faint silhouette of the ship that had become my grave.

I could see. I could breathe. But I was still sinking.

The last thing I remembered was staring into the endless depths below me and realizing something was staring back.

Then darkness claimed me.

ONE YEAR LATER

The first sailor died screaming and begging for his life. Fear painted across his face the way his blood painted mine. The second tried to bargain. The third didn’t even fight.

Three down, nine to go.

Then him.

For twelve months I have waited for them. Turned myself into this monster, luring men to their death for their crimes against women. Sailors who threw women into the sea for simply existing on their ship. Women like me.

I pulled them in, tricked them into the water where I feasted on their hearts and souls. Hundreds, thousands, of cowardly, superstitious fishermen.

It’s all led me to this. The very ship and crew that turned me into what I am today. I knew they’d be back.

I stalked across the blood-slick deck, my tail scraping against the planks behind me. Someone is behind the main mast, trying to hide but the smell of their fear gave them away a long time ago.

The sea mirrored my rage and rocked the ship, knocking him out from his hiding place. He stopped in front of me, terror freezing his entire body. I grinned as he began to shake.

Four down.

I licked his blood from my lips and continued prowling the deck. I watched as two sailors dove overboard and laughed. I’ll find them when I’m done here, if the others don’t get them first.

I climbed onto the quarter deck and smirked at the sight before me. Waiting on his knees, fear, and resolve plastered on his face. I grabbed his chin, holding him in place, “Hello, Captain. We meet again.”

“This isn’t possible.”

“Oh it is. You made me this. I told you I’d usher you all into hell.”

I pulled him to the edge of the ship and his eyes widened, “Wait—”

“Did you wait when I asked? Did you stop? Show me mercy?” I tightened my grip on his face, “No. You didn’t. You bound my arms and legs and threw me to the sea. You said I was bad luck. Well here I am, Captain. The curse of your making.” He opened his mouth but I dug my nails into his cheeks, “I do hope you can swim.” With that, I tossed him over. That alone was a gift he didn’t give me. I gave him a fighting chance, not that it will get him anywhere, but he has the use of his arms and legs. That was a far kinder death than he deserved.

I turned to continue my hunt, then stopped in my tracks. There, standing in the doorway to the sleeping quarters, was the man I trusted more than anyone. The one who swore to protect me.

The one who betrayed me. I almost didn’t recognize him. He used to look soft. Scholarly. More comfortable with maps and books than knives. Now he looks rugged. Haunted. The storm has tangled his copper-brown hair that had once been neatly kept. A beard shadowed his jaw, rough and uneven. Rain ran down sharp cheekbones and caught on the scar cutting through his brow, a scar I knew hadn’t been there before. He was harder now.

“Tarian.” His name burned my tongue. “Where are the others?”

“You won’t find them.” He answered.

My eyes narrowed, “You can’t protect them—”

He lifted his head, his green eyes finding mine and for a moment, the storm disappeared. He was simply the man who would make me laugh as we lay in bed with our legs tangled, wearing only the bedsheet.

“The first one died a month after we returned home. The second, I found on his way home a month after that. The third was messy, fought back hard, but lost. That was three months ago. The fourth ran, almost got away, but I was faster. Caught him. Hung him up on the same hook he hung his big fish from. The last one I savored. He was the one who bragged about how he bound your legs and arms. He bragged about how he made them so that if you struggled, they’d get tighter.” I remembered exactly how tight they were. How they tightened with every pull. “I tied him up the same way he described your binds. I left him hanging next to the fourth man for a couple days before I sliced him open the same way they showed me how to open the fish we caught. I planned to get the rest on this trip. Throw them off the way they did you. Though none of it would have compared to what I thought you endured.”

“None of it does compare to what I endured. The physical pain I suffered alone, but the pain of your betrayal? Nothing comes close to that.”

He looked as if I struck him, “Betrayal? You think I betrayed you?”

“You did betray me!” I shouted, moving closer to him. “You told me to meet you here, right up here! And in your absence, the crew and the man you were supposed to have been talking with tied my legs and my arms and threw me into the sea. You gave me to them. You arranged for me to be here and you gave me to them!” With each word, memories came flooding back, and the tears I swore to never cry again began to flow. “I called for you, did you hear me? Did you hear me screaming? Crying? Begging? Did you hear me?!”

“Of course I heard you!” he shouted back, taking a step toward me, “I listened to every agonizing minute of it but I did not give you to them!”

“Liar!” I shoved him, “You set it up!”

“I did not set it up!” His voice boomed over the storm and I froze. He’s never once raised his voice at me. “I went to speak with the captain, begged him to let us off at the next dock. He laughed in my face, said that wasn’t going to happen, then knocked me out.” I stopped then. “I woke up to blood drying on my face, ropes around my legs, my arms tied to the helm, something over my mouth and the sounds of you screaming. I tried to get to you, Sirena, I tried. But I was too weak. I’m not weak anymore. And they all paid for what they did to you. I made them scream and cry and beg.”

I shook my head.

For a year I have held on to the pain of his betrayal. The anger being my driving force.

“Whether you gave me to them or not, I became a monster because of you.” My voice shook.

He closed the distance between us, eyes searching my face, “And I became a monster for you.”

For a long moment neither of us spoke. Then the sea called to me.

Come home.

I looked at the man I had loved. The man I had hated. The man who had become a monster for me. And I turned away. The ocean welcomed me back with open arms.

I watched him grow smaller as the sea reclaimed me. The last thing I saw was Tarian falling to his knees.

Then the ocean closed above my head and I let go of all the hatred, pain and resentment from the last year.

I let go of the vengeance.

I let go of him.