What everybody wants

I want what everybody wants: a family. Don’t worry about my age. That’s not important; even though that’s the first thing everybody asked about me. To me it’s not important to risk care about skin color then you probably shouldn’t adopt me. Yes I’m talking to you. Maybe haven’t thought about adoption. It’s expensive you think only your pets expensive. It’s nothing compared to adopting a kid. Maybe that’s why nobody’s adopted me. Maybe I’m too old. Everybody wants a cute baby. That’s healthy and big. I’m not a baby anymore so my foster parent told me 20 times a day. You’re not a baby anymore after your age. Go to school with kids, my age, but there’s no recreation who would pay for recreation things like being on a football team going to Cub Scouts or just other things. People do to socialize and create a second family that’s why kids join gangs or one of the reasons because a gang lines are being their family if they don’t feel they have one at home. I have biological parents, but I don’t wanna meet them. They were idiots. They did stupid things and that’s why I’m here. I’m pissed at them. That’s crazy. I’m pissed at somewhat. I’ve never even met, but maybe I’m crazy.

Take to the doctor 1 billion times for people who thought they wanted to adopt me to have blood work done like I’m a pet. Make sure it’s healthy. Have a look at his teeth My teeth are fine. They have to take us to the dentist and Doctor every six months to make sure we’re sellable. The state pays for state pay for our clothes for a doctor visits, but they can be cheapskates too some days. I wish my parents had made me an abortion because there’s no reason I’m here if I had a family someday I suppose I could get married and have my own kids, but where would I meet these people? They aren’t at the foster home.

Everyone in the house wants to be adopted no shit. They wanted the American dream but sometimes I think it’s not. That’s correct up to be all of us. Will get to go to college for free because of the state. What do you want to be when you grow up? I don’t know, but if I had a family, I could talk to my parents about it. There’s a guidance counselor, but they’re useless. The only thing they do is talk to me when i get in trouble. What happened? Why did you get into a fight with so-and-so? Do you think there’s another way you could’ve handled it? Same questions every time maybe you need to see a social worker or an occupational therapist or physical therapist or one of the other billion therapist they’ve sent me to the state pay for the state isn’t a person they were I could talk to them and explained them what we really need which is a family to parents siblings maybe some dogs or cats backyard a little playground or be able to go to a playground whenever we want maybe we go after school for some ice cream or go out to eat they do cook for us and the Food’s OK but it’s more about socialization. Occasionally, we go to a fast food joint like McDonald’s, but who wants to eat out with her family at McDonald’s? I can get a happy meal and be sad about it. The vice appearance try they have to yell at us when we do things wrong at school and I understand that but they don’t want to adopt me. I’ve asked them and they feel that’s not their role. They give us hugs occasionally, but it doesn’t feel like they want to get to know me sometimes I ask for help with homework and they help me, but they never talk about their jobs or their lives or their history or traditions or anything like that We’re just a paycheck to them. That’s why I’m hoping I’ll be the dog in the window. The foster parents pick they do come to the house and look at us and talk to us and smile and ask questions. What do you want to be when you grow up? what do you do for fun? What grade are you in? How old are you? If they took the word old out, it would show that they cared about us and not just about themselves. Someone who got a bad day at school you got a bad grade gonna do a fight got picked on all of which happens to everybody. I could come home and tell them what happened and cry and get a hug and be mothered or maybe fathered.

They decide to send me to a shrink great that’s just what someone looking to adopt me was to hear; that their new kid is crazy. That’s the first thing I tell her I thought I’d relate better to a female shrink than a male shrink. I don’t know why it doesn’t matter. I have nothing you get females but the first thing I tell her is I’m not crazy, but she agrees with me, which is good. She talks about coping skills. The first thing in my head is WTF what I think the problem is and I talk to her about what I’ve just talked to you about that. It doesn’t feel like I have a family or someone to do things like when I’m sick. They take me to the doctor, but nobody makes me chicken noodle soup those kind of things are not big things, but the little things that make me feel special or a part of the clan. Then, she laughs and says I have rose colored glasses on so I take off my glasses but she explains it Most people with families hate their families. They’re arguing all the time, getting grounded, fighting about money, what major they’ll go into but you’re lucky. You get free college, have friends at school and you’ll graduate and go to college. Then, you can get a campus job and do whatever you want. How old are you? I hate that question. What grade are you in? That’s the same question. What do you want to be when you grow up? Free. I just want to be free. What do you want to do for money? I don’t know. There’s a pregnant pause. Let’s start over, ok? Okay. How are you? Now, that’s a good question. Maybe she could be my family maybe she could be the one who adopts me we could see movies together eat meals together. Talk about our dreams together. I wonder if psychiatrist are allowed to adopt their clients? Maybe she could be my family