Smile with your Eyes

Trigger Warning- this short story contains Suicide, and Some Strong Language.

Smile with your Eyes

Part 1- I Pray She Will Be Back

She had left it on accident. It was a handmade bookmark with a special design on it. It was an unexpected find as people did not leave their personalized bookmarks at such an ordinary place as a library. Yet, here it was marking a very ominous passage. One that gave Mitsy the creeps.

“Leave it to me. All that can be. Sanctified and shuttered and raptured as thee. Put it on my back. That very large sack, and I shall die in the morning carrying it for thee.”

Did I wish to die? On some days- yes. Roaming the library day after day was tedious and zero fun. When I got my master’s degree- I thought I could change lives. I would show readers beautiful books, but here I am, staring at a bookmark, wondering what it could mean.

Shuttered? Yes. More like stifled from time to time. Hated by others for my good looks and intelligence. Hated for it! You would feel shuttered and abandoned if you were me. Yes, you would indeed. Your simple librarian am I with damn good looks. I rock Stilettos like it is no one’s business, and my eye makeup is always killer!

Raptured? As if my soul will ever see Christ. I am one hardened bitch, and once He sees me, if He ever has the time, He will personally deliver me straight to hell just for the fun of it where my own personal demons who have been designed to terrify me forever will surely and absolutely terrify me forever. Yes, they will! Yikes!

Then the bell rang- Children’s hour!

Then Marceline made the call.

“To you from me comes a sweet story from across the sea. Now, please, hurry up, take a total piss. Hurry to your rug square for you cannot miss any of this!” Marceline was a trooper, and we loved her as all loves a blood sister. A true genius librarian..

Today was, “Lorna was a Goose.” A much loved classic.

Lorna was a goose with a big ol’ caboose. And when she waddled ‘round- her feathers would tear loose.

Lorna ends up saving many poor creatures with her warm, tail feathers. She is an absolute hero! A trooper.

Part 2- The Feathers

“Stock the kiddie section, little miss attitude with a broomstick up her butt. No one wants you here, you know that right?” Said Vanilla Ice to me. To myself- a proven badass with, well, lots and lots of mace. Vanilla Ice? Most would just call him Buster the Fart.

“Got it, Ice!” I got it. They hated me. I got it. I’m not stupid. What was it next, Mitsy? Fill the water fountains? That would not happen. Those shenanigans would not work with me. Then shit actually hit the fan.

“Mitsy, take a deep breath, cause you are about to clean it all up.”

“Clean what?!”

“Explosive diarrhea! Bad! All over three stalls!”

“What? Alone? Clean it alone? It’s only my third day!” Mitsy had decided to work part time for additional funds at the local movie theater.

Mitsy’s boss stared her right in the eyes.

“ You have one hour.”

So, I went to clean up the shit. As I scrubbed the floors, I felt something warm, and soft hit my neck. Feathers? White feathers of fucking cowardice? Four white feathers all bundled together.

I cleaned the shit: I ain’t no coward! Four dollars for fifty dollars worth of work. Ugh! Fucking feathers. It was my third day! Where did they find four white feathers, anyway?

Part 3- Smile with your Eyes

“I’m whitening my teeth. Must we talk now?”

“This is perfect! Now, I can get the most words in.” Chris said. “You know I love you, Mitsy. You’re humble like me. Hell, you clean up vomit, and sell popcorn covered in fake butter to kids.”

“What are you saying?”

“I think I love you! Is that okay? I love you, Mitsy. Well, if you can’t smile with your teeth, will you smile at me with your eyes? Your beautiful blue eyes. Do you, um, have feelings for me?”

And she smiled at him with her eyes.

Part 4- Here She Was

“Hi, just looking for a special, handmade bookmark. Could you help, please. It’s cold in here, and I’ve left my cardigan in the van. You know, a total uptown girl looking for a goddamn bookmark!

“Yes, ma’am. I’ve got eyes on your bookmark.”

She got it back. “Is your Christian Fiction section open? I sure hope so. I’ve been working my way through it.”

It had been closed due to tornado damage, but Ms. Snap was allowed to browse the section, and when she found, “Gloria, and the Tough Ones,” it spoke to her. You never want to judge a book by its cover, but that’s what Ms. Snap did. She judged quite harshly. But in the end, it was just a book, and Ms. Snap always felt it was a privilege to read after other fans of fiction. As if she shared the experience with a select few. She loved to read, and soak up fiction. She needed it. She loved it.

Part 5- The Awakening

The book was getting to her. When she went to return it, there was a new guy at the front register. Hot! Lots of sex appeal, and really nice hair.

“I can’t stomach this. Too many twists and turns that I can’t keep up with. Little do most know, but I am memory impaired. Would you happen to have a more simple read in your Christian Fiction section that you may be aware of? Something sweet. Relaxing. I like to read in the bath with lavender salts. A suggestion?”

“Do you like westerns?”

“I despise them. Too repetitive. Same overall endings. Nope, got anything better? Yes, I may seem needy, but I need an escape.”

“Journey There and Back Again should get you through whatever you’re working through, lady. It’s good, but pay close attention to the character’s names. It can be quite confusing once you reach the epic ending.”

“Epic, huh? I’ll take it. Can you, please, go find it and check it out to me? Please? By the way, I’m sorry about the silly bookmark. I should not have made the fuss about it, but it was embroidered by my grandmother, and it is special to me.” The guy at the register had no idea what she was talking about, so he found himself simply smiling and nodding.

The book awakened Ms. Sharp’s inner longings. She longed to meet the author. She wanted to tell him how much his words meant to her. She wanted to sleep with him badly- as did many of his virginal readers. Wonder and lust were his writing specialties, but with Christian fiction, he had to sneak in the steamy moments. They were treats for the reader that aided in escapism. Treats that were always welcomed, and desired by the reader.

Part 6- One Hard Last Shift

One girl took one bite of our nasty popcorn, and she threw up all over the carpet on her way to the even nastier bathrooms that were only cleaned when extremely needed. Ms. Sharp got the joy of cleaning up the vomit. As she cleaned, she thought of her library book. It had brought her such joy, so she decided to quit her job just so that she could finish the book.

Part 7- The Mysterious Other Man

He did not just look cute, he smelled nice, and was nice. I would have to leave my bookmark again. To seduce, or not to seduce. He was obviously intelligent. A good reader, and he, though probably underpaid, wore suits to work. A different color for each day of the week. Sexy. And now he knew my name and contact information. Perhaps we could hook up in one of the closed study rooms. We could play hangman on the dry erase boards. My first puzzle would read, “Take off all your clothes.” Then we would go from there.

Part 8- Mitsy’s Big Mistake

Chris got, “Not right now,” as an answer. Mitsy did not love him. He cried, but she was into the guy at the library. He had a name, but she forgot to check out his name tag. Yes, Chris was attractive, but there was some sort of feeling she got from the other guy. Something just screamed out, “Yes! He’s the guy! He’s the one!” She would not see Chris again. He was never really her fiancé. She never said, “Yes.”

Part 9-A Simple Truth

The simple truth was that I wanted him. I finished and returned the book that had changed my life. I left my special bookmark inside marking the last page, so that he, whatever his name was, could see that I read the book. His name? Marcel!

Part 10- Marcel

After spending two months on a puzzle, Marcel was pissed to find out he was missing three pieces, so he was not in a good mood. He upturned the puzzle. Threw it all over. It was the last gift he had ever gotten from his mother prior to her passing. He wanted to finish it, and glue it, so he could hang up his achievement for all to see, but no. The project was over,

Part 11- NOTICE

TO ALL WHO KNEW HER- MITSY WAS A TRULY GOOD LIBRARIAN. PEOPLE DIE ALL THE TIME IN STRANGE WAYS. MITSY PASSED PEACEFULLY IN HER SLEEP. I HAVE HIRED ON MS. SNAP TO FILL MITSY’S POSITION. PLEASE GIVE HER A WARM WELCOME.

Part 12- The Bookmark

It was half past twelve, and Marcel wanted lunch, but something had been returned through the dropbox. It was the book he had suggested to that one striking woman who was memory impaired, and, once again, she had left her special bookmark inside for anyone to steal. Her grandmother’s embroidered bookmark! He had to get it to her, so he looked her up.

Part 13- The Call

So, Marcel grew some balls, and he called Evangeline- that was her name, and he had fallen in love with it. He set up a time to meet her at the front sliding doors. He would have her bookmark, and she would get the chance to ask him out for an expensive seafood dinner.

It worked out between Evangeline and Marcel. All because of a bookmark, and a simple suggestion. Evangeline applied for Mitsy’s position once it was free. She got it! So, she and Marcel got to work side by side for a very long time.

“Smile with your eyes.” Chris once said to poor Mitsy. This was something that Evangeline had down. When she looked at him, when she smelled Marcel, she knew not to let him go- ever! But something strange happened that night. Something unexplained. Marcel died.

Part 14- The Final Lapse

So, all were left alone. Chris, poor Mitsy, poor Marcel, and Evangeline.

At the memorial, only Evangeline showed up to speak, and she did not say much.

“I tried to get him, and, in the end, I did, but now what? Huh? These are the last words I will speak. The last words I will speak to anyone for I am dying of a broken heart. Leave it to me. All that can be. Sanctified and shuttered and raptured as thee. Put it on my back. That very large sack, and I shall die in the morning carrying it for thee.”

Tears were shed, and Evangeline knew that the time she had left would not suffice any of you. So, on that day, that dreadful day, she decided to put all of her tears away. She went to a bridge where she jumped off, and she did not even let out a cough.