Fourteen weeks ago, case #446 was first discovered. That day alone, the dawnbreaker was able to kill 15 refined A.D.A agents without moving a muscle and those that survived died shortly after arriving in the hospital.
Did no agents survive at all? No. Speculation points that those who struggled, weren’t able to. They were simply too afraid to remain alive.
Ten weeks ago, case #446 was spotted in a zoo. That day alone, the dawnbreaker was able to incinerate all the animals and the security in check considering it was at night.
Were there any witnesses recorded from the ordeal? No. By the time a fire was reported, everything burnt.
Six weeks ago, case #446 was spotted in a warehouse next to the docks. That day alone, the dawnbreaker was able to drag its victims into the warehouse, some in bones while others burnt to an ashen crisp. Esteemed agents Leblanc and Madeline were called forward to investigate.
Did the agents give any relevant news and information regarding their findings? No. They died. Their bodies have never been found to this day.
Two weeks ago, case #446 vanished. That day alone, a child spotted the dawnbreaker strolling the streets and according to him, "he" did not seem scary. "He" was very kind and offered the boy a packet of candy.
Did something happen to the boy afterward? Perhaps he was poisoned after consuming the content or was there something else that threatened his life? Or maybe the boy just confused himself, thinking that was the dawnbreaker. No. The boy gave us a concise description that matched the beast. He added that the “man” was not as scary as the adults perceived.
Now, case #576 has been spotted. This day alone, they have been rumors that the being lingers about three specific locations. The abandoned Gradwell Healthcare Centre. The abandoned Great Scott Elementary. The abandoned Twin Tower Plaza.
Have there been any updates regarding these specific investigations? No. But the screen is right there.
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Agent Loria: The Gradwell Healthcare Centre
Loria slid the door and peered through. Glass splintered from the weight in her leg, she retreated. Assessing the damage, her breathing came under control and entered the building. Hairs stood, with a little push, they would uproot themselves. She wouldn't blame them; in fact she was sorry for them. And what about her? If she knew her career would take this direction she would appreciate being an accountant for her Dad's company. There was no turning back now, helping people was at the forefront as the sun’s age declined, she remained focused. Not only for the people that just wanted a normal life but for the people who mattered to her.
Nothing would shake her will.
She moved, swaying her head to either side, surveying what she could. The nursing home had been abandoned for what now... thirteen years? It was battered, scarred, and desperately clinging for a makeover. The bulbs loosely hanged from the ceiling, flickering. Would have figured they would stop working. As for the ceiling, mostly destroyed. Left to fend for the rats. The tiles creaked with her every step and she was counting how many seconds passed before she would apparently fall to some figment of an abyss. What was she thinking, her will couldn’t waver here.
Pacing forward, she cut to the right and observed the rooms. Dark and empty. Not like she was expecting any difference, but she hoped it would turn out as so. Yet she stayed, as though something really mattered about the room than anywhere else. Someone was in there, it seemed like it. Not a whole person, rather some sort of fragment. Some sort of... shadow.
Her fingers quivered, moving to the holster. Barely keeping hold, she managed to remove the pistol and kicked the door open. She flicked the switch, of course of all of them, this refused to work. Turning on her flashlight, she realized paranoia at the forefront. But was it? Of everything in the entire room, the entire health centre actually, this room was spotless. A bed perfectly spread, the patient monitor surprisingly beaming and an infusion pump functioning properly.
Strange. Considering how big the centre was, most of the rooms were located in the higher floors, or perhaps was this some sort of new strategy? Were they tired of transferring patients from higher floors to lower ones once healed? But enough about all that. Why did it feel very familiar, she knew this room. Was she ever here before, no it's impossible. She couldn't... remember.
There was something on the bed, this time she was sure. Lowering the pistol, she focused in the dark. She squinted. It became brighter the more she did so. She proceeded, a bouquet was placed on a stool next to the bed and atop the vase were balloons, likely saying "Get well soon." The curtains drawn as immense rays flared into the room. Someone was lying on the bed. A catheter strapped to the forearm. There was a scar on that arm, a scar that resembled hers. Too much. She carried on to the face and there it was she saw. Her, but this time it was different. She was dead. Blood ran from her nostrils, eyes bulged and her mouth left agape. The head lifted on its own, aligning face to face with her. She gasped stepping backwards. The track rate increasing. Pimples appeared on her reflection’s face, millions simultaneously, growing larger as though about to pop. It looked like her face was boiling. As if rotting away, the face peeled itself. Layer by layer. The nose, the ears, the lips, surrounding skin area. And the remainder, a skeletal structure entombed with circular hollow sockets and bony teeth.
"That's one out of my list," she heard a voice from behind but before she could scream, the room was empty.
Agent Takei: Great Scott Elementary.
Of all the things he could have wished, Takei hoped he wouldn't come back to this place. A place where children came to learn what the world was really like, even by a minute glance. Being an alumni, it pained him even more that they lacked the opportunity that started him off. As soon as the sun set to die, such places were shut down. He pitied them, he pitied everybody. Why did the world have to suffer such a cruel fate.
Coffee in hand, he gazed the playground, swings playing lightly by the wind. He formed pictures in his mind, children running through the play course and challenging one another over their victory. Such hopeful memories. And no child was meant to lack the same. He had to deal with this and fast. He squatted by the gravel, hand atop as he grabbed them. Pebbles never had a particular smell, it only came about from the people that crossed the same path, he knew it from miles away. He stood up and continued to the door.
Onward, the hallways were silent with a frigid linger. He responded with a gulp of his coffee and turned right. Nothing out of order appeared in the classrooms despite the devastation casted. He heard something. Faint laughs, as if some children were somewhere nearby.
Reaching the end, he forged to the left and met with the notice board pinned by his side. Funny, despite the state of the school, the posters informed the opposite. Like it was pinned that morning. He dropped to the bottom and found a pinned group photo. So the school carried on with the same tradition. He didn’t know why but he felt there was something off about it.
He removed it and brought it closer. Those faces. It wasn’t possible to remember everyone from that time but they seemed so fresh in his mind and as though it was taken yesterday. Stephanie, Ben, Ogata, Diego. Why was he able to remember their names and faces? Were they even his classmates? He shook his head while his eyes darted to the right and there he was. Squatting with a soccer ball tucked between his legs and a bright face. He blinked thrice before turning the picture and checking the bottom right. July 16th 1984. He dropped it.
This was impossible. He looked at every poster that conveyed the information ought to. Only difference being dated 1984. The laughs multiplied, drawing closer. Takei pulled his gun and gazed both ways.
“Show yourself!” He demanded.
Sweat trickled, pupils rolled in and out and the voices made it worse shifting from the laughs to shouting over. He shook his head, raising his arm. Finger played by the trigger and he took the shot.
No more voices. He gradually opened his eyes. His teeth shattered and his body followed suit. He checked the notice board once more. Just a plain white and clean board. Perhaps it was his own delusions, fear set to kick in? That had to be it, right?
The temperatures weren’t getting any normal. He checked his fingers and noted a blue tint forming at the tip. He needed to get out of there, even heroes knew when to fall back.
Turning back, he halted. A figure before him, head loped downward, arms directed the same. Afterward, head rose and smile plastered. The mouth lined with a blazing orange. He aligned his pistol but he was too slow.
Agent Venrico: Twin Tower Plaza.
Venrico was the first to encounter the dawnbreaker. She didn’t fancy the reason why she had to visit her old office. And for some reunion, she had to see was the demon whistling to a tune taking papers from a printer then setting gaze.
She fled from its sight but that wasn’t any helpful. The beast was able to hover off the ground with unmatched speed. As she moved, the office and the part of the building behind it burnt away edging closer to her. Venrico wasn’t one to give up, she only thanked her talents that she was once a renowned athlete and could still give herself time to flee. The dawnbreaker wasn’t making it any easy. With the tip of its fingers, it touched the agent’s shoulder forcing her to ditch her jacket. And even though it burnt the jacket, her shoulder cried.
She cut to the left that was the storage facility. Numerous boxes lined everywhere enclosed in clear polythene. The small, processed ones were by the front while the others strayed at the back. She hurried and hid behind one of them. Hands over mouth; she did best to keep calm. Cowardly for an A.D.A agent, she knew. But before an agent, she was a human being. There was no possible way she could go against it and she didn’t want to die. There was still so many things she wanted to do. How could they all end here? For the first time in her life, she turned to God.
The demon entered. Moving with slow steps. Discarding the whistling, it commenced to a ticking clock, each second coincided with a step. Venrico bit her lip as tears cascaded. If there was any other god she had to pray to then she would, she only wanted to get out of here.
“Venrico,” her ears jerked. How did it know her name. “Where are you?”
It felt like the world stopped. Her heart raced, mind weighed and lungs tightened. She breathed through her mouth, taking in large rounds. Where was it? Why did she leave it in the car? She touched her chest; it was going to be okay. She didn’t need it... No she needed it... everything would turn out fine.
“Venrico,” there it was again. She realized it wasn’t about it knowing her name. It all pointed to the voice. The voice that belonged to her younger sister. Her eyes blurred and more tears tailed.
“Venrico please, I can help you.”
It was a lie; it had to be. No way could her sister call her by their family name. Did that even make sense? But then, that voice. She did sound concerned and she did know about her condition so maybe this was the moment she could finally reconnect. Especially after what happened the day the sun decided to create these abominations.
She was one of them. Such an innocent girl who didn’t deserve that fate. The irony, hating the being she deemed responsible and yet here she was praying to him. But even so, this wasn’t her, she knew it because this was a demon. Lina died three years ago. No matter the case, this monster could never...
“Louisa, please... help me.”
Her heart struck and her chest tightened further. She fell to her knees as the tears flooded. No... No... she needed her inhaler. Crawling across the floor, they made eye contact with the beast. It showered its smile.
“Go... go away,” Venrico demanded.
“Why?” The voice shifted. “When you purge over our kind.”
“You... you brought this plague. You... you must die.” At this rate she was going to pass out.
The dawnbreaker drew closer and touched her collar. If she tried to move, it would most likely strangle her. The longer they remained in the state, the more Venrico noted facial structures forming about her face. The lips, the ears, the eyes and the skin. And as she would have had it, the beast assumed her form. It smiled, this time showcasing snow teeth. A splitting image.
“Now then,” she sounded just like her, checking her pockets. She removed a blue inhaler. Venrico stretched while the dawnbreaker jingled it in the air. “You have no option but to obey me Louisa Venrico.”
“Please... I... need it,” a tear trickled down. She was gradually lying on the floor.
“If you must know, your two agents have been compromised. And now that remains with you but I wonder, am I really willing to let you live when I already have what I want?”
She shook her head, another one fell. “Please... don’t ... do this.”
The beast chuckled. “I guess the question was rhetorical but it feels like you still want to know the answer.”
She wrapped the device in her hands and a ball of flames appeared right through it. She tossed it to one of the boxes behind her and fire erupted, faster than even how a normal fire would ignite. Venrico cried, she failed. She, like Lina, had a whole life ahead of her and when she was supposed to avenge her. Only to fail. Finding it best to close her eyes, she decided her final destination would take this route. The Twin tower Plaza burned to the ground.
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Two weeks ago, case #576 was spotted in three different locations, Gradwell Healthcare Centre, Great Scott Elementary and Twin Tower Plaza. We sent agents, Loria, Takei and Venrico all of whom died at the hands of this specific dawnbreaker. And now, she has been spotted on Gold River Quarry.
Will you send another agent to go over the situation?... Yes, and if it so happens she loses then we have already lost as humanity. Get Agent Dawson ready...
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I think the main thing I like about this is how the dawnbreakers aren't just these monsters that appear and kill people. With #576, it feels like she studies whoever she's dealing with and uses whatever affects them the most against them. The beginning with #446 works well for that reason. At first we're just hearing about all the horrible things he's done. He killed 15 agents, burnt the animals in the zoo and then there was what happened at the warehouse. So we're supposed to think this thing is just some monster that kills anything it comes across. But then you get to the boy. Out of everybody, this kid somehow meets #446 and nothing happens to him. The dawnbreaker is nice to him and gives him candy. I like that because now I'm questioning what these things are. If #446 is just some mindless monster, why didn't he kill the boy? And the boy even says the adults make him seem scarier than he is. That feels like something that's going to matter later. Then #576 comes in and she's a lot scarier to me because of how personal everything gets. With Loria, I liked the hospital room. The whole building is abandoned and falling apart but then there's just this one room that's fine. The bed is made, the machines work, there's flowers and balloons there. You already know something isn't right before anything even happens. Then she sees herself lying in the bed. The scar was a nice way of revealing it too because Loria doesn't see her own face. She notices the scar first and realizes it looks like hers. Then when she sees herself, she's dead. The whole face peeling away into a skull was creepy too. And then- "That's one out of my list." That line made me wonder what #576 is doing. Because now it doesn't seem like she's just going around killing agents for the sake of killing them. She has a list. So who else is on it and why? Takei's part was one of the more interesting ones because his wasn't scary. It's kind of sad at first because he's remembering what the school used to be like and thinking about all the children that won't get the same childhood he did. Then the picture happens. I liked him recognizing Stephanie, Ben, Ogata and Diego without even understanding why he remembers them. Then he sees himself in the picture and checks the date. July 16th 1984. I also noticed that Takei starts freezing. His fingers are turning blue. That's interesting because everything we've heard about dawnbreakers so far makes me think about the sun, heat and fire. So if #576 can also make somebody freeze, then what can these things do? Venrico's section is my favorite because this is where #576 starts feeling like a character instead of just some supernatural creature. Using Lina's voice against Venrico was messed up because Venrico KNOWS it isn't her. She even catches the mistake when the creature calls her "Venrico" because her own sister wouldn't call her by their family name. Then it changes to- "Louisa, please... help me." That part stood out to me because it means #576 realized she messed up and corrected herself. So she isn't just copying memories. She's listening to Venrico and learning from her. Then she turns into Venrico. That's one of the biggest things revealed in the chapter because now I'm wondering whether she can replace people. If she can look and sound like Venrico, what's stopping her from pretending to be an agent later? The inhaler part was also cruel because she doesn't even need to attack Venrico anymore. She knows Venrico needs it and just holds it in front of her. At that point she controls whether Venrico lives or dies. But the line that interested me the most was- "I already have what I want." What did she get? Because if #576 already got what she wanted before Venrico died, then killing these agents might not be the point. Maybe she's getting information from them. Maybe she's learning how to copy them. Maybe she needs something connected to their memories. I don't know, but that line makes it feel like there's something much bigger going on. I also think #446 and #576 are starting to make me question the A.D.A itself. #446 doesn't hurt the child. Then #576 tells Venrico- "When you purge over our kind." That's the first time we're hearing how a dawnbreaker sees what the A.D.A is doing. #576 is still murdering people, so it's not like she's innocent, but now I'm wondering what happened when the dawnbreakers first appeared and whether the A.D.A knows the full story themselves. What I'm interested in now is Dawson. The ending says that if Dawson loses, humanity has already lost. So that makes me wonder what is so different about her. Why is she the person they're sending after three agents just got destroyed? Is she their strongest agent or is there something about her that makes her capable of dealing with a dawnbreaker? And after everything #576 did to Loria, Takei and Venrico, I'm not even sure fighting her is going to be Dawson's biggest problem. Because #576 doesn't seem interested in finding out how strong you are. She finds out what breaks you.
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I love your brain! A supernatural monster-hunt/horror story. Really??? How did you even come up with this? A dangerous creature called a dawn-breaker has been responsible for a series of gruesome incidents. Three agents are sent separately to investigate three abandoned locations.
That Agent Takei investigates the elementary school he once attended was mind-blowing!
And then you have Agent Venrico returning to her old office building, and Agent Loria in the healthcare facility - so amazing that you used all the facets of the single prompt - brilliant!
Did not expect their demise - and yet another agent is ordered into another encounter at the end. I got chills. Superbly done - I could see this as a real contender this week.
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This is so sweet Miss Hoban.
I can't believe you feel this way. Well, in terms of how this came all about, as you may have slightly noticed, the stories I write are connected in one way or the other. Either they continue an overarching narrative, they explain some origin, or they see a new light meaning a different character in the same world but facing a different experience. I always ensure I make the stories connected to make it feel like I am writing one full novel. If you get the time, maybe you can check out the story, 'A Promise'. That's where the term Dawnbreaker first comes about and the explanation of why the world appears as so.
I was really debating on whether to let them die or not but I was like, to stay true to the story I want to tell, I would just left it like that. And I see it did do me justice.
I am really honored you feel this much about me. The fact that you love my ideas despite how they may sometimes appear unnatural. It really gives me hope of my future and I cannot thank you enough Miss Hoban. I'll make sure to get the time to red your stories, I have been caught up with a lot of things that require my headfast attention but I will ensure to make the time so I could read them. Thank you once more for reading and leaving this thoughtful comment. I wish I would have post it for the competition but I don't have money on me right now. Thank you once more (I know I already said thank you so many times but... why not)
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I really appreciate how your writing leans into a series format, allowing us to follow the dawnbreaker story in much greater detail beyond the usual 3k limit. I just wrote my first continuation this week, but it doesn’t yet have the intricate threads you weave between your stories. That’s why I want to point out how well you’ve connected each installment.... giving the plot real depth and weight!! Knowing what I’ve already read, the fragility of all humanity feels truly balanced on the edge of a knife: will Agent Dawson succeed at Golden Quarry? The way the dawnbreaker attacks is uniquely awful, morbid (in a good way) Makes me wonder who else might be destroyed? Excellent work!
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Thank you so much for reading T.O.I. As you may have noticed, I haven't been in touch for as long since I just turned up to be very busy but I wanna see where my free time can enable me to get back to reading. I am so glad you found this really nice. The fact that it feels like there is weight in each story and how well they are connected distantly or just as near. It warms my heart that I'm doing a good job. And I am glad you have also continued a story (Which I have to make sure I read when the time comes) but knowing you, don't you worry as much, they will all be weaved into something spectacular. Perhaps and hopefully even surpass my own style. I would really like to see where that goes. Thank you once more for reading and I hope we can get in touch soon enough.
I also like how you already have questions swirling in your mind. Really nice.
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I really liked the structure of this — the repeated case-file style at the beginning gives it that cold, clinical feeling, which makes what follows feel even worse because every encounter becomes so personal.
Loria, Takei and Venrico all face something different, but the dawnbreaker seems to know exactly where to hurt each of them. That was probably my favourite part of the story: it isn’t just powerful, it’s invasive. It gets inside their memories, fears and weaknesses. Venrico’s section stood out most to me, especially when the voice changes to her sister’s. That immediately made the threat feel much more intimate than simply being chased by a monster.
I also liked the escalation from case #446 to #576 and then that final “Get Agent Dawson ready...” It gives the sense that this is part of a much bigger world rather than a one-off horror story.
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Hi Marjolein,
I am glad you really liked the structure of the story. I won't lie, I wasn't sure whether I was doing the right thing. I felt like it would be jarring to readers since there was no concise protagonist at the beginning and I felt that would be a problem but seeing how each of you feel about this, It re-ignites the hope. I like how you also noted how the dawnbreaker moved in their minds. Like I always tend to do, a major genre should ensure to keep it close and concise to the people living in it and I am also glad I was able to do that in the end. Also glad that you liked the escalation of the threats posed by the dawnbreakers. And yes, this is a whole lot more, thank you so much for reading Marjolein.
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I really enjoyed how you used multiple perspectives throughout the story. Shifting between different agents gave each section a distinct emotional tone, making the mystery more intriguing as each viewpoint revealed new details and personal stakes. The descriptions were haunting, and I appreciated the psychological horror elements.
I also liked that both the introduction and the conclusion were written in a report style. This format grounded the supernatural elements in realism and authority, making the story feel even more immersive and believable. The report structure added to the suspense, intensifying the ongoing investigation, deepening the problem of dawnbreaker, and connecting all previous stories about them. Great work!
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Thank you so much for reading Veronika. Am so glad you found the inclusion of the reports as immersive. I was worried they would appear jarring since they are not actually the main characters and maybe it would feel like am head hopping to some extent. I just try to improve with each story I post and seeing you make such a comment gives me the reassurance that I am heading somewhere. Thank you so much for reading.
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You're welcome. You handled it well.
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Whoa, this totally enthralled me. The way you gave details about the specimens and then had the other reports from the agents was really cool! This was an interesting take on the prompt. Great work, Aaron! You've improved so much!
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Thank you so much for reading Hazel. You can't imagine how much happiness I feel saying that I have improved. I know I still have a long way to go but I just wanna make sure I can get to the level that I need to and it's through you guys that have made it worthwhile despite the many things going on in my life. Thank you once more for leaving this thoughtful comment.
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That's so sweet! I'm glad that you're still going. 💙
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