A Christmas Resolution

I’m that girl that every girl is jealous of and every boy likes. I mean, it’s not exactly surprising. I have delicate, soft brown curls that tumbles down to my slim waist. My smooth, olive skin serves as a canvas for my gorgeous emerald green eyes with flecks of peacock blue. All my life, I have been told that I was beautiful. Strangers would stop just to gape at my looks, as my eye color was rather rare. I have always been admired like a great painting, and I loved that feeling. 

I had never agreed with the phrase “inner beauty.” What’s the point of inner beauty if no one can even see it? 

The world is cruel. They won’t care if you are beautiful on the inside, the only thing that really matters is your appearance on the outside. Only brave people can accept this, like myself. I know I will survive in this world just fine, because I am beautiful. Nice people just get used and then tossed away like trash. 

“Olivia!” A high pitched voice yelled. “Come on, you’re missing the fun!”

I turned around to see my best friend, Narcissa, waving at me. She was the only person that understood me. Of course, she wasn’t nearly as pretty as me (no one is), but she was closer than most people.

“Coming!” Today was Christmas Eve, and Narcissa invited everyone in our old high school for a reunion.

I walked over to her. Connor and Liam, two of my friends, were standing there, too. They both blushed. I knew they had a crush on me, but I played dumb. It was more fun this way. 

I smiled at both of them, showing my perfect dimples. I would never like them back, they’re way out of my league. 

Especially Connor.

Out of the two, Liam was more attractive, but that wasn’t saying much. Connor had dark eyes that were spread too far apart on his face, and his black hair was always greasy. The only reason I was friends with him was because I couldn’t get rid of him. He had developed a huge crush on me back in middle school, and would follow me everywhere. Of course, I’ve told him to get lost about a million times, but he never did. Oh, was he persistent! But I bet it wouldn’t be long until he confesses to me, then I can watch his face crumble in pain as I reject him. That would probably teach him a lesson.

But for now, all I can do is continue to be nice to him.

However, Kace was a different story. With his icy blue eyes and golden blonde hair, he was the boy version of me. He was the only boy of our friend group that I liked. I searched all over the room, but couldn't seem to find him. Probably being “fashionably late.” 

I turned my attention back to Narcissa.

“Great party!” I almost had to yell over the noise.

“Thanks! I’m going to go dance, wanna join?” She asked.

“Maybe later.”

“Okay then, see you around!” Narcissa swayed her hips along to the music as she made her way to the dance floor.

“Hey, Olivia, can I, uh, talk to you?” Connor asked me hesitantly. I nodded, and we made our way out to the balcony.

“What’s up?” I asked, already knowing where this was going.

“Look, I…” He played with his hands.

“I really love you. I love your beautiful emerald eyes that shine when you’re happy, and the way you smile. Olivia, will you give me the honor of making you happy forever?” Connor raised his eyes to meet mine.

Just as I expected. This will be fun.

I glanced at him, and then burst into laughter. “Yeah, right. Very funny,” I grinned. “Even if you were serious, I would never like someone like you! The only reason I was ever friends with you was because I pitied you.” With that, I walked away, leaving him in the stinging, winter air, tears starting to fall down his face. Finally, at least he would never bother me again. He was really starting to get on my nerves.

“Did I miss anything?” I asked Liam, back in the house.

“Er… no, but… what did Connor ask you?”

“Nothing important. Why?”

“Because… I would like to tell you something…” 

I smiled at him, encouraging him to continue. Which, of course, was a fake smile.

“Olivia… I can make you happy forever. I can be everything you ever want and more. Will you marry me?” His eyes shone with hope.

“Sorry… no. You’re just not my type, Liam.” I shrugged, my face twisted in fake sympathy. 

“Oh… okay then. I guess I’ll leave you alone, then,” Liam walked away, tears starting to form at the base of his eyes. But it’s funny, really, to see how he ever thought that he had a chance with me. It was funny how any guy except Jace could stand a chance.

“Hey, Olive!” Narcissa called. “I saw you talking with Connor and Liam, what happened?”

“Guess.”

“They proposed, didn't they?” She nudged me playfully.

“Yep! And I rejected both of them!” I said joyfully. Then, in a whisper, “you should have seen their faces when I did, it was priceless!”

“I’m sure it was…” Narcissa has been my best friend since freshman year, but lately she’s been acting a little weird. But maybe it’s just me.

Narcissa opened her mouth, but before she could speak, she was cut off by Leo, her annoying younger brother.

“Hey, Olivia! You’re looking rather pretty today, marry me?” He winked. I rolled my eyes. Leo wasn’t exactly bad looking, but he was horribly irritating and several years younger.

“You wish, Leo!” I called back. He put on a fake look of pain, making the people around him laugh.

“Olivia?” A hesitant voice interrupted.

“Yes, that’s me. Can I help you?” I turned around to see a guy my age, who looked… familiar. My mind flashed back to middle school.

“Catch me if you can!” A 13 year old me taunted, running.

“Oh, it’s on!” A red haired boy ran after me. As the taller one, he easily caught up to me, crushing me in a playful hug. I blushed in his arms. 

“You’re my best friend, and you always will be!” The boy, Jake, smiled.

“Promise that you’ll never leave me?” I whispered.

“Promise.” If only he kept that promise. 

“Jake?” I gasped. “Is that really you?”

“Yeah…” 

Jake. My childhood best friend that had left me.

“What do you want?” He winced at my tone. Good. I wanted him to feel as much pain as he gave me when he left me for Europe.

“Listen… I want to tell you this, in case I never see you again. I’m sorry for leaving, I hope you know that.” He glanced at me, but I showed no emotion. “I loved you. And I still do. I can’t bear to lose you again. Olivia, will you marry me?”

I stilled. “Yes… if you had asked me 5 years ago. It’s too late, Jake.” I turned away. My heart lurched as his face crumpled, but I stayed strong. He was the reason why I am how I am, I will never fall in love with a guy ever again. I don’t think I could survive it if he betrays me again.

I looked at him, at his tear-streaked face. 

And walked away.

I felt someone tap my shoulder, and turned around.

“Jace!” I exclaimed, hugging him.

“Hey, Olivia,” he smiled at me.

“There is something I need to tell you…” he glanced around, as if to make sure nobody was listening.

“I like you, I have always liked you. Will you be my bride?” He bent down on one knee, and held up a box.

I covered my mouth. This was the moment that I have been waiting for. 

But something was wrong.

I don’t know if it was the fact that I didn’t feel happiness when I was around him, or the fact that I still had buried feelings for Jake, feelings that had reemerged when I saw him again.

“Sorry, Jace.” I didn’t know what was wrong with me.

“Oh…” He walked away, not saying much.

“Olivia!” I turned around to see Connor standing there.

“What do you want?” I glared at him.

“Remember when you rejected me?” He continued before I could respond. “Well, I think that you weren’t feeling like yourself! So I’m giving you another chance. Will you marry me?”

“Connor, I already told you no!”

“You mean yes, right?” Connor moved closer, backing me up to a wall.

“I don’t like you!.”

“Oh, yes you do.” Something was off. Connor had an almost wild look in his dark eyes, one that I’ve never seen before. “You’re coming with me.” He smiled sickenly and dragged me onto the balcony.

“Connor! No means no!” What was happening?

“Oh no, you like me. You like me very much.” 

“No, I don’t! I… I’m sorry!” Those words shocked me. I’m sorry. Words I haven’t used in a very long time.

“No, you’re not. But you will be.” He grinned at me, and held up a knife.

“Wh-where did you get that?” My heart pounded against my chest.

“That’s not important.” He leaned his head against the wall. “Oh, if only you agreed to marry me! This wouldn’t have happened. But right now, you’re going to have a little accident!” 

“You’re mad!” I cried, the cold air stinging at my cheeks. “I-is this because I was mean to you?”

“Partly.” He played with his knife. “But you should know, beauty isn’t everything. You may be beautiful, but you’re cruel on the inside. I am doing this world a favor by getting rid of you!” He laughed, advancing on me.

“Connor… please!” I pleaded. And then, something in me clicked, possibly triggered by his words. Beauty isn’t everything.

I have been like this from the start of high school, beautiful, but also known to be rude. I liked this reputation, but now I wasn’t so sure anymore. My mind flashed to all of the times I’ve hurt someone, and I winced at each one. And right then, I only had one thing that I wanted for Christmas: to go back and fix all of my past mistakes.

“Any last words?” Connor raised the knife.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, and then closed my eyes as I heard the knife swish through the air, slashing my face.

I collapsed.

“OLIVIA!” A voice yelled, but I was too weak to look up to see who it was.

I vaguely heard a fight next to me, I think, but everything sounded like it was underwater. Voices echoed all around me, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

And then strong arms wrapped around me, an embrace that I could still remember even 5 years later.

“Olivia, it’s going to be alright.” 

Jake… He still cares for me even when I was rude to him.

“Jake… I’m… sorry…” I said weakly. 

“Shh, it’s okay.” Laying in his arms, I felt something in me change. I remembered my wish for Christmas, and I was determined to achieve it. My face was probably scared forever, but, strangely, I didn’t care. After all, looks aren’t everything.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!