Annemone

r/relationship_advice • 3d ago

u/annemone-67

Worried I (35F) am too dependent on my (23M) boyfriend - how can I tell??

I’ve been with my boyfriend 3 years, living together pretty much since we met, but he’s been oddly distant lately. Every time I try to get him to spend quality time or cuddle up with me, he says he’s too busy. I’ve also caught him flirting with other women and sometimes he even brings them to our home (really my home, actually) and flaunts them right in front of me. I think one of them is even pregnant. I’m worried he’s the father, but I’m also scared I’m being too needy and there’s not actually anything going on. He’s still been cleaning as usual, but he’s not as protective of me as he used to be and I don’t want to lose him. Please help - how can I tell if I’m the problem?

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AutoModerator MOD 3d ago

u/throwaway-advice-808 2d ago

Girl, you need to kick this guy out of your house. It sounds like he’s using you for a nice place to stay, but you think he may have gotten another woman pregnant??

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u/ggoctosuckers 2d ago

I’m so confused. How is this even a question? This guy is wack and you’re delusional. Move on, sis.

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u/annemone-67 2d ago

What do you mean delusional? Isn’t this a normal situation? Did I come to the right subreddit?

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u/dazed-n-confuzed 2d ago

I think you need to reevaluate your relationship. It sounds like he hasn’t been a good partner for you. Also the age gap is a little sus. You’ve been living with him since he was 20 and you’re 35? When did you meet?

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u/annemone-67 2d ago

It’s totally normal where I’m from to date younger men. In fact, we met when he was 17, which is already pretty old to me.

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u/dazed-n-confuzed 2d ago

That is illegal. Wtf pedo

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u/clowning-around 3 hr. ago

Anne, is this you? You neglected to mention we agreed on an open relationship! I’ve been nothing but honest with you since we met. You know Clementine and I have been wanting kids since we moved in with you at the same time. She’s been just as helpful with the cleaning, and she’ll be having my eggs soon. You and I are not even sexually compatible! You’re an anemone! I’ve been holding up my end of the deal, but you’ve been getting more and more clingy. It actually disgusts me sometimes to come home to you, with all your little flowery tentacles. Just because I’m immune to your cnidocytes doesn’t mean you can’t sting.

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u/annemone-67 2 hr. ago

How did you find my post??? I’m just asking for harmless advice. I don’t know why you’ve been so distant lately and I’m just trying to find a way to ask the humans for some good advice on how to fix it. I thought we had a mutually beneficial relationship. I give you shelter and protection from predators. Without me, Clementine would probably be eaten by a barracuda by now!

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u/clowing-around 2 hr. ago

That’s so unnecessary. You know Finding Nemo isn’t accurate. Barracuda hunt in open water! You’re a liar. You wrote this entire post so people would think you’re human. The humans aren’t even supposed to know about marine intelligence! You’re literally putting the entire future of the reef in jeopardy if they figure out where we are. Delete this post!!

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u/annemone-67 1 hr. ago

I’m not the one who gave it away. I was blending in with the humans. You’re the one who pointed it out. I’ll delete the post when you admit that you haven’t been doing your job. You’re supposed to protect me from the Butterflyfish and the puffers, but they’ve been nibbling on me. Half of a tentacle is missing!! What happened to when you would clean and fan me? You’ve even been shitting away from the reef. All the microorganisms that kept me happy are gone now. The least you could do is provide me with waste product.

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u/clowing-around 52 min. ago

I don’t even know what to say to that. I’ve been doing my best, but you’ve gotten more and more jealous. You need to find another clownfish. We’re moving out tonight.

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u/annemone-67 48 min. ago

No, this wasn’t supposed to happen. We can still make this work. I’ll delete the post. I’ll do anything! How am I supposed to find another clownfish as good as you? You can bring her back. I won’t be clingy. I’ll protect your eggs. Just don’t go.

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u/dazed-n-confuzed 30 min. ago

Fake post. u/mods can we get this taken down?

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u/Haiku-Bot 3d ago

been with my boyfriend

3 years, living together

pretty much since we met

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The post has since been deleted by the mods, but not before being screenshotted and shared to multiple other subreddits. The post is then recapped on a very famous YouTube channel (not to be named here for copyright reasons) and becomes deep internet lore. But not so deep that a scientist named John V. Buckhowser doesn’t see it and become determined to find this starcrossed anemone.

John is a marine biology professor and accomplished diver with a PhD on the relative consciousness of sea creatures, so you can imagine his interest when this Reddit thread is forwarded to him as a meme from one of his students. But little does his student know, John is also a certified wackadoodle. He becomes obsessed with diving the Great Barrier Reef in hopes of finding this conscious anemone.

After years of searching, he nearly loses hope, but he finds an anemone that seems particularly lonely. He reached out to it and to his surprise, it curiously nestled around his finger. A way in which he’s never been touched by marine life before. In that moment, he has a deep realization. This is the anemone. Anne the anemone.

He takes repeat dive trips out to visit her. Each time, experiencing the same profound touch. The surprising lack of stinging. Can anemones be conscious? Can they love? John isn’t sure. But humans sure can.

And that’s the story of how a man fell in love with an anemone.