A lamp, a bench, wet pants & a fat bird… maybe a Robin?

Man, it’s cold.

Spring is here, they said… Hah!

Judging by the amount of fog coming out of my mouth we are not even close to spring.

What’s going on with this weather?

I’m freezing.

Isn’t it supposed to be getting lighter at night by now?

And why am I asking Janet her opinion on the weather?

“Does it look cold out tonight?”

What a stupid question.

How can anyone see if it looks cold?

Why ask Janet anyway, she hasn’t been outdoors for the last 5 years, I’m sure.

She goes from air-conditioned comfort at work to air-conditioned car to air-conditioned home and then back again.

I knew I wasn’t going to take her advice anyway, so why even ask her then?

I’m sure it’s colder than normal tonight, but I kind of like it anyway.

I like the way my cheeks hurt from the cold air.

As long as it’s only for a short while, I wouldn’t like to sleep out here.

I don’t know how people do it.

I would die.

The park seems quiet tonight.

Very quiet.

Come to think of it, why is it so quiet?

There is literally no one around.

I’ve got the whole park to myself.

It’s nice at night.

It’s amazing how different the park is at night.

The bushes seem all ominous like they are crouching in the shadows waiting to pounce on me.

But I know these bushes well, especially that bush.

In daylight it has the brightest green leaves.

For some reason, I like seeing that bush in sunlight.

I actually look forward to seeing it and walking past it.

For some reason it makes me happy.

It’s got the brightest, shiniest, happiest leaves in the park.

It just seems like it must be the happiest bush in the park, not that bushes are happy or sad, but if they were happy or sad, then that bush would be the happiest.

I think it tries harder than all the other bushes.

It wants to be the best bush it possibly can be.

Good job, bush.

It’s cool how my breath billows out as I go under each streetlamp.

I’m a fire breathing dragon.

Look out – raging dragon breath…

Run villagers run…

Haaaaaaaaa, haaaaa, haaaaaaaaaaa…. As they scurry for the hills.

If anyone sees me blowing dragon breath from side to side, they’ll think I’m a nutcase.

Run villagers run. Haaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Lucky no one is around to see me.

Not even a mugger…

At least, I hope not.

It’s too cold for muggers tonight anyway.

I would crap myself if a mugger suddenly jumped out in front of me.

I wonder what I would do if a real mugger jumped out?

Maybe I could use my dragon breath on him.

How cool would that be?

Knife glistens…“GIMME ALL YOUR MONEY…”

DRAGON BREATH!!!!

Devoured in flames and smoke.

Pile of smoking cinders and a sharp burnt knife is all that’s left.

And I keep walking without even breaking my stride.

Nice.

That bench looks awesome in the light of the streetlamp.

Streetlamp?

Is it a streetlamp if it’s in the park on a pathway?

Pathway lamp? Lamp. Lamp is a funny word.

LAMP.

It’s a lam with a p.

Lamp.

Lamp.

LAMP.

Funny word.

All words are funny if you keep saying them over and over.

The bench does look good though, I wish I could take a photo of it and capture it as I see it in this light – the area around it looks cold and it looks warm and cozy under the glow of the LAMP.

Whenever I try take photos though they never work out like I see them.

What I see looks incredible, then for some reason my photos just come out boring.

Funny I walk past that bench every day and I’ve seen it a million times, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually looked at it.

There’s a plaque on it.

I’ve never noticed that before.

I wonder what it says.

Maybe someone died?

What if it was a child that died?

That would be the worst.

I don’t know if I want to read it now, I’ve never even seen the bench before and now if I see it in future and it was for a child of theirs that died then that would be quite a sad reminder each day.

Luckily, I’d have the bench that made me sad and then the bush that made me happy as long as I was going to work… I’d have to walk a different way back home.

Now I want to know… I’m going to read it anyway.

Dedicated by Mary & Bill Prescott “So others can enjoy the park as much as we do”

Oh nice, OK then, I don’t need to walk home a different way. Great.

It’s funny that I’ve walked past this bench every day for ages now and never really looked at it or thought why it was here in this spot.

It’s actually a great spot.

You can see all the good bits of the park from it.

The grassy area. That looks like a million frozen ice splinters, at the moment.

The giant tree, with no leaves on it now.

That’s not good, I like that tree.

Especially when it’s covered with leaves… when did they all fall off?

I can make a dragon breath cloud for you to fill in where your leaves should be.

There.

A nice white puff of cloud to make up for your lack of leaves.

You can see the kid’s playground from here.

That could be good or bad, depending on who you were.

If you looked shifty and had a trench coat on during a hot sunny day… maybe not, but if you were a nanny or a new mother or gran or grandpa, then yes.  

It’s a nice spot.

I can see why Mary & Bill Prescott chose it.

Good job you two.

Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever sat here in all the years that I’ve been coming past.

Thanks, Mary and Bill – Don’t mind if I do.

I think, I’ll have a quick second or two to enjoy your gift in the cold night air.

AAAAH the bench is freezing cold and it’s wet.

And now I’m wet too, I shouldn’t have done that.

How did you not see that puddle? Are you an idiot? Blind? Or just Stupid!

Now my pants are wet and rubbing them dry isn’t helping at all.

Thanks a lot Mary and Bill now I’m not enjoying your bench, nor the park.

Stupid Mary & Bill.

Stupid Bench.

It’s my fault anyway, really.

I can’t blame Mary & Bill.

I should have looked properly.

I should have known.

It’s not that bad if I wiggle my legs a bit, so that the pants don’t stick to me.

Now when I see this bench each day it will be with a sense of regret & irritation.

Mary & Bill, I’m now standing in front of the bench you donated instead of sitting on it, probably not what you intended, but I appreciate your gesture and I can see why you placed it here.

This is a very good spot you selected here, Mary?

Or Bill?

Or maybe it was a combined decision?

Good job anyway, Mary & Bill.

Maybe they don’t get a say anyway, maybe it’s a panel that decides.

Some panel of councilors who just sit around not doing much else.

“Where do they want the bench?”

“Near the big tree.”

“No, put it the other side.”

“Oh, they’ll be so pleased that was their first choice.”

“Oh, well then we can’t have that put it back near the big tree then.”

Nah, probably not.

I’m sticking with it being Mary & Bill’s decision.

Good job you two.

What’s that on the tree?

Is it some sort of growth?

Oh, no, it’s a bird.

All puffed up, looks like a ball almost it’s so round.

A Fat bird.

All feathered up.

All fluffed up – no other birds around.

Where are your friends?

You’re sort of like me, aren’t you buddy.

Alone in the park.

Loads of layers to keep us warm.

What kind of bird are you?

A Robin?

Do we even have Robins in this country?

I don’t know.

I only ever see them on Christmas postcards with big red chests.

I have no idea what kind of bird that is.

A fat brown bird.

Knowing me that’s probably what I’d call it if I had to create a book on birds.

I can just see it now two bird watchers spotting it…

One of them points at the bird and whispers to the other… “What’s that Stanley?”

“I’m not sure Morris,” he whispers back “I’ll look it up in our brand-new bird book.”

“Aaah, I see, that’s the Ave adipem la Brown A.K.A the Fat Brown Bird Morris.”

“It doesn’t say that does it, Stanley?”

Stanley shows him.

They look at each other, then they look back at the bird.

What more can be said, it’s Fat, it’s Brown and it’s a Bird.

…I should get going.

It’s getting late and I’m getting cold.

Bye Stanley & Morris.

Bye Bill & Mary Prescott.

Thanks for the bench… even though I now have wet pants.

I also have a new memory, so thanks for that.

Bye happy bush.

Bye big leafless tree…

Here, have some more dragon breath to fill you out and warm you up.

I hope that dragon breath also warmed you up a bit Fat Brown Bird with skinny legs.

I wonder if birds’ legs get cold.

I don’t know, but mine are freezing and wet.

So, I’m going home.

Good night all… see you tomorrow.