Mordred

“I have come for a branding makeover.”

“And who are you? And what do you think I could do for you? " Little Plump Jo, the current Artisan in residence in Malory Tennyson’s Cloudbank Cabin for Arthurian Studies, asked as she surveyed the scrawny young man in front of her.

“You probably have never noticed me. People tend to overlook me all the time. They will regret doing it in the end! I want you to give me a character profile makeover, like you did for Elaine of Astolat. You turned her from a snivelling little ‘ooh I will just die, if I cannot marry Sir Perfect-a-lot’ person into a successful, self-sufficient, capable character.”

“I did not make those changes in Elaine’s character. She determined to create her new profile as the entrepreneur owner of Charlotte’s Web Weaving and live out a new story. I merely followed her and wrote about what she was doing.” Little Plump Jo protested.

“Yes, you wrote it and you made it so!” said the young man. “I am being tired of being ignored and overlooked. I am tired of being regarded as a laughingstock and being unsuccessful in tournaments. I want to be considered as charming as Sir Gawain, as powerful as Sir Lancelot and have as clean a reputation as Sir Percival!”

“I want my father to acknowledge me. I want to influence decisions made in the courts of Camelot. I want to have the authority to advise on battle plans and diplomatic strategies equal or surpassing that of the old dodderer, Merlin.

“If you want that to happen you need to work at making it happen yourself. I cannot do that for you” said Little Plump Jo.

“See, that is exactly what I do not want to do!” replied the young man. “I cannot be bothered with all that training, and perfecting swordsmanship and jousting technique which Sir Perfect Lancelot continues, even though it seems completely unnecessary to me. And I don’t want to miss out on all those delicious temptations of the flesh like Sir Pure Percival does.

I will be back in three days to discuss this further.”

“Who do you think that young man was?” Jo asked her five canine writing companions, the Dabrowski Dogs. The dogs could hear a different range of sound and could communicate with the fictional characters in Cloudbank Cabin and the Fog Lake at the base of the cabin. They provided an interface for Jo to also communicate with the fictional characters.

“I don’t know, but I do not trust him!” woofed Sensual Dabrowski.

“Who are the young men who want to join the court at Camelot half way through the story, Intellectual?”

“Let me see. There was Sir Gareth, who arrived as Beaumains, and worked under the authority of Sir Kay in the kitchens.”

“It is not him” replied Psycho Motor Dabrowski, bouncing up and down on the spot. “Sir Gareth is here already and he has red hair, like his older brother, Sir Gawain. They are the acknowledged sons of King Lot of Orkney”

“And Beaumains/Sir Gareth never behaved like that. He was never demanding. He was happy to work his way up and earn his place. And he was much more friendly and gentle. And much happier too!” contributed Emotional Dabrowski.

“There was Galahad” suggested Intellectual Dabrowski. “But we know it is not him. Sir Galahad should look exactly like his father, Sir Lancelot, except that when the sun shines on his head, he has a golden glow, like a halo, to his coal black curls. The bit about wanting his father to acknowledge him could be true, since he had not met his father and was brought up by his mother, Princess Elaine of Corbenic, and his grandfather, King Pelles. But Galahad would not be old enough to come to court yet!”

" And I really cannot imagine him being so disrespectful towards Merlin, even if he had theological differences of opinion” woofed Imaginational Dabrowski.

“So that leaves Mordred.” barked Intellectual in an ominous tone of voice.

“Yes, I do feel more dread about this character” barked Emotional. “It is not a comfortable feeling having some unknown person just barge in and expect to have an illustrious story written for them. “Especially if they are simultaneously wanting recognition from their father, whoever that might be, and seem to be wanting to take control of Camelot!”

“I am concerned that this may be King Arthur’s illegitimate son” continued Intellectual. “It is about the right place in the story for him to put in his first appearance. Usually King Arthur refuses to recognize him as his heir; but says he can be knighted and attempt to become a worthy knight. But the young man wants so much more. He sees favors being poured out on others and the positions he feels should be his birthright being denied to him.”

“What I still do not understand,” Little Plump Jo said, “is why all these characters seem to think I can change their stories. I mean, a journalist writing about an event observes the action and records what they see. Then they combine their observations with the research they have undertaken about the situation and insights they gained from interviews to write the story. Unless they are unscrupulous, they will tell the story accurately, to the best of their knowledge. And that is what I am doing when I write about the retelling of the Arthurian stories that I observe being enacted by the characters in the Fog Lake.”

“That is true to a degree.” conceded Intellectual. “But you have to realize that every time the story is told, the author will put their own understanding across. And sometimes they will choose to give the story from the point of view of a particular character. And sometimes that means showing a sympathetic interpretation of a villain.”

“I know that!” said Jo, rather indignantly. Intellectual always tended to talk down to her. “But I am not telling the stories from one character’s point of view. I am writing what I see them doing. I did not mind Dagonet the Jester wanting more prominence. His connection to the stories is a long, illustrious one and he knows things about King Arthur and Sir Lancelot which probably nobody else knows. And I did not mind telling the new story for Elaine of Astolat, because she orchestrated the changes herself. But I could not create a new story for Sir Lancelot unless he was prepared to make changes and I told him so!”

“Well, if you can refuse Sir Lancelot du Lac and live to tell the tale, you should have no problem refusing to create a new story for this pipsqueak!” Psycho Motor Dabrowski yelped encouragingly.

“I’m back!” (Why did Little Plump Jo always imagine a Terminator voice for that phrase?) “I have come to set up times to meet with you so that you can write a rebranded story for me. We will begin today.”

“I am sorry, but you have not yet even told me your name”

“I am Mordred!”