The first chef

"Put the bulbs into the very hot bubbly water, now wait for them to get mushy, oooh, I can't wait for Grah to taste my cooking!"

Those were Broon's thoughts while preparing the evening meal for his beloved Grah, some mashed bulbs and a big steak, not a big deal for the modern city dwellers, but something unfathomable for his day and age, after all this happened a long time ago. The usual date night in Broon's time was walking around the settlement, observing the night sky and well, baby making later, but Broon had a different idea for tonight, a meal was more of his type of courtship ritual.

Broon was a part of a big tribe, a hundred and something people, he was a great hunter and very strong and brave, but he was also endowed with an indestructible gut, superheroic liver and kidneys and an accute sense of smell and taste. Since he was a kid, whenever he had free time, he would be caught around smelling and tasting all sorts of things. That how he discovered salt in a cave system nearby, he licked the walls, the taste was new and it didn't make him feel bad so, naturally he got a couple pieces of this rock, pulverized them and bam, he made something that made food taste better. Pepper was found growing on some trees, same process, better food. Mushrooms were tricky, the majority of the bad ones he knew from the elder of the tribe, the vault of never ending information, elder Hu. Hu taught broon of the good and bad fruits, bulbs and mushrooms, but there were so many of them that Hu didn't know nothing about growing in the nearby forest, so naturally, it was up to Broon to find the good ones. He was smart about it, first he would only collect the mushrooms when they hunted in the forest, going there alone and though not impossible, wasn't the greatest idea, leopards, gorrilas, snakes, spiders, things that could kill you in an instant were living in the forest, so you need someone to watch your back while you collect shrooms.

Second, don't touch the mushrooms that are left untouched by other animals, Broon would observe every other species too, if they avoided anything, he knew he should avoid it too.

Third, you don't eat the thing whole, as we said Broon was endowed with a strong digestive tract, things that might incapacitate or kill someone, would give Broon a bad stomach, some diarrhea and a couple farts, but he would stay alive, so he would try a tine sliver first, if he was feeling good after a day, a small piece next, good again, than a larger and larger chunk until he was sure it was safe. Many times in his life he ran into the bushes to reside there for hours, but with his great powers, he discovered many new edible shrooms and berries and spices.

He was a natural, trying new things was easy for him, he knew that if this grass was left to dry and then sprinkled on top of fresh fried meat it will make it better, he made food well and made it better, he cooked for the tribe and the tribe loved him. Yes he was different, but he never put the tribe at risk, he might skip a couple days a year in the bushes instead of hunting with his friends, but that was a small price to pay for the joy that he was bringing everyone.

He also learned a lot from the women of the tribe, especially from Grah's grandmother, she taught him of many berries, how to preserve them for longer, how to dry things properly in the sun, how to clean his cave and tools.

Basically the whole tribe raised and taught him, since his father and mother was gone long ago, during a raid from a different tribe, he was given a separate cove all to himself, because his parents were in high esteem among the tribe members. Raids have stopped a long time ago, now was a time of peace and prosperity, all thanks to the tribes chief, Stolm, a great man, the strongest and fiercest of all the warriors, he once beat a leopard one on one, and now he was wearing his skin on special occasions, though he wasn't happy about that kill. Stolm would always say " A hunter shouldn't kill another hunter. But that day we both didn't have another choice, kill or be killed and I survived." , Stolm loved Broon too.

Stolm taught Broon how to hunt and pursue the prey, how to deal with the meat and skin and bones, he was Broon's father figure and he still remembers the day when he made him proud.

It wasn't when he speared a big wildabeast on his own or when he helped fight of a pack of hyenas, no, it was the day when he cooked for the tribe for the first time.

The hunt went great, lots of meat, elder Hu came to Broon and said, " You shall prepare the food tonight Broonie, give it your best", Broon almost teared up, but he held it together, time to shine, no, time to cook.

He knew the tribe just fried the meat and that's it, raw earth bulbs and back to bed, that wasn't the plan for tonight. First bring the large stone carved bowls, start a fire underneath them to make the stones hot, now, run to get the water from the nearby stream, Grah helped, friends helped, the chief helped, ok, enough water, put some white dust in it, now get the skins of the bulbs and once the water is bubbly ( Grah's granma taught him that water gets bubbly for some reason after a while on the fire), put the bulbs in it, test the bulbs with a stick, when they are mushy, take em out, now white powder and black powder too ( the words for salt and pepper where not yet used).

Shrooms next, or "tree pimples" as everyone called them at the time, water out, use the animal fat (Broon discovered this technique), add the bulb skins too, the powders and once all nice and smelling good, some dried nice smelling grass.

The meat now, a little fat, meat has its own fat, the usual powders and a little of this smelly field grass, dried of course, it tastes nice on meat, once everything crunchy on the outside and no blood comes out of the meat, all is ready.

Cooking for the whole tribe took some time and it wasn't easy, but everyone helped him, so the job was done. All sat down together, happy, but skeptical, the chief went first, a big bite of meat, a good amount of mash and shrooms, everyone was staring in silence.

Broon sweaty with anticipation, unblinking, looking at the chief, the moment of truth.

Stolm, quiet, closed his eyes and let out a moan " Ummmmmmmmm, sooo goooood", the tribe felt easy and began eating in a frenzy.

Oh the sounds, moans, it seemed more like an orgy than a feast, nobody talked, everyone was completely enveloped in the food consumption process, only loud noises, gestures, tears of joy were present.

Before everyone has finished their meal, Stolm and elder Hu signaled to Broon to come with them around the corner of their tribe's lodgings, a small cavernous rock, as they dissapeared from everyone's view, Stolm said:

"Well done son, the best food I ever had, anyone ever had in their lifetimes!!!"

"Mhm" said Hu with a smile, still licking his lips.

" I didn't know food can taste so, so, so good!!!"

" Mhmmmmmm" said Hu, moaning in the same manner as before at the table.

" I want you to cook every time we have a good catch, will you do this??? Please???"

" Pleaaaaaseeee???" Said Hu with beginning eyes.

" Y...e....s" Broon uttered, on the verge of tears, his face a grimace of happiness, eyes almost dissapeared, nose runny, the edges of his lips moving up and down violently, changing between a smile and a frown tens of times a second. Broon really tried to keep a straight face and a stoic attitude, long before Marcus Aurelius or Epictetus roamed these lands, but he was so overwhelmed with joy that tears ran down his cheeks, though he was doing his best not to cry, he had to turn away to compose himself.

"YES!!!!!!" screamed Stolm and Hu in unison, grabbing hands and dancing like maniacs, doing weird wavy moves with his hands and body for Stolm, and the proto version of the robot for Hu.

"Let's go back before the bastards finish everything off!" Stolm screamed and dragge the other two with him.

This happened some time ago, that was also the day that Grah looked at Broon differently for the first time.

She always liked him, but he avoided her, in his mind she would never be attracted to him, Grah was to beautiful for Broon, that's what he thought, she was giving him signals all the time but Broon as many men throughout history, before and after him, was oblivious.

Yesterday on the height of his feeling of absolute joy, after another great meal (fish this time, and yes, Broon cried again) he asked her out, she said yes, he turned around again, again his eyes teary with joy, she laughed and now he was preparing food for the both in his cove.

A different version of the same meal as he did for the tribe, Stolm gave him one of the best pieces of meat, Grah's granma gave him the best earth bulbs and with a some changes here and there, new spices that he wanted to try, the meal was ready.

Grah was here, she was very happy and very beautiful, they ate, then they watched the stars and talked, after the fire went out, they went to bed together, the last thoughts in Broon's mind before him and Grah went to bed were:

" She can't even imagine the things I'm going to cook for her!", and well the rest is a different story, or you might say history.