Heartless

I wish that last summer could disappear from my mind. Even if I had seen all of my friends that summer. I could never go back to that summer when we had the fight. The fight that had led us to breaking up. The reason that I will never be the same again. The reason I had to move so far away, and I didn't see any of my friends or family ever again. We were so close, yet so far.

************

"Hurry up Emma Jean!"

"Okay, okay calm down."

It was almost sundown, and Jake and I were going to the pool to practice for try outs, or so I thought. "Okay, I'm all set!" I walked out of my bedroom in my new navy blue bathing suit, and Jake, the boy of my dreams, was ready to kiss me when I put my finger on his lips. "Later babe, later." We walked out the front porch together hand in hand. When we got there, I was already doing my warm ups and stretches for the swim when suddenly, he pushed me into the water! We both started laughing hysterically. "You're a mess!" I said after regaining my breath. "And you are my everything," he replied. He jumped into the water with me and we started to kiss. I had stopped him in the middle of the smooch and said, "I thought we were supposed to be practicing?"

"We are," he replied, smiling at me mischievously.

"Oh really," I replied, "When do try outs start?"

"Chill out Mom," I got back 3 hours later from the pool and my mom was not happy, "Nothing.. happened."

"I was so worried for you! You could have been kidnapped, or worse... JOINED A CLUB!!!"

"Mom, do you really think I'm that naive?"

"No honey, I'm sorry, I was just... scared for you."

"Well, I better get some rest, g'night!"

"Good night hon."

Somehow I got away with the um... pool thing, but it was a close one.

"Next in line!" The line for swim try outs were nerve racking. I can't believe I had done that at the pool last night. "I should've practiced." I said to Jack as we moved forward in line. "Hey," he said, "don't beat yourself up. Besides, didn't you have just a little fun?" I started at him in shock. "Are you serious?!" I said, "Being a swimmer has been my dream ever since I learned how to dive! You think I had FUN last night?" I really wish I hadn't said that. The conversation that led to us breaking up in the first place. "Yikes, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed." he said. I was about to cry. "Look, all I ever wanted was this, and now, because you were so foolish yesterday I could be miserable the rest of my LIFE!!!"

"Next in line!"

It was my turn next and it felt like I could die any second. I lined up on the board, ready to dive and make all of my life dreams come true. Suddenly, I heard a voice yell to me, "Don't ruin your life Emma Jean!" That voice was Jake's. I jumped through the air, distraught by what he had said, and fell into the water flat on my butt. I swam up to the surface and found all eyes on me. People laughed just like Jake and I did when he pushed me into the water last night, but the loudest person I heard laughed at me, was Jake. I ran away in tears.

I got several calls from Jake the next day. Calls that I never answered. Calls that he "didn't mean to mess up my chances." I really did not want to hear it. Just then, I got a message saying to meet him at the dock at 6:30. I was curious, so I accepted. I got there and was surprised to see a beautiful candle light dinner on the dock. Jack was standing there wearing a tuxedo from the last school dance. "Bonjour Mademoiselle," he said in a french accent, "welcome to paradise. I giggle at his attempt to be french. I take a seat next to him and look at the table. I see one plate of spaghetti and two plastic forks. We had an amazing night over all, and of course pulled a Lady and the Tramp with the spaghetti. Oh, how I wish that moment could've lasted forever.

The next week was Jake's birthday and I was so excited to see him. I was just finishing wrapping up his Hey Dudes, I got him. I hopped on my bike and peddled to his house. When I got there I could hear the faint sound of people singing happy birthday. I opened the door and saw the worst thing that could ever happen to me. I threw down his present and ran away. I had just walked in on Karlie Jones kissing my Jake, and him kissing her back. I picked the present back up before he could see me, and peddled until I couldn't breathe. I felt tears heavily dripping down my cheeks. Thoughts were buzzing through my mind. He would never. Would he? Is my life just sadness and breakups? As soon as I got home I took out a pair of large scissors and cut every little bit of his present up. I wish I didn't even meet him. I wish his birthday was far away from my home. I wish I were dead. The only thing I wanted then was to dig a hole and crawl deep under the earth.

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So there you have it. That was the worst summer of my life that I wish could disappear. Nothing in my life was worse than the hole he cut deep into my heart that day. I can never go back and never will. That's why I moved. I moved so far away that there was nobody else around me. no warmth. no people no love. So now I will forever be heartless.