A Fresh Start

The sky is dark. Pitch black. Except for the twinkling stars that blanket it. Constellations shine brightly and my eyes trace the sky, searching for them. A small breeze brushes against my shoulder and waves at me. Silence is welcomed and has already settled in to sit with us.

The rooftop is comfy beneath me. Mainly because I’m sitting on a blanket. But also because of who I'm sharing that blanket with. The nest of brown hair atop my head clashes with the mess of dirty blonde hair to my right side. I turn my head, sparkling ocean blue eyes colliding with my light brown ones.

The blue eyes are soft. Kind. They always seem to hold a spark of happiness. An ocean I would drown in, if only they would let me. Oh, how I wish they would let me.

I can only imagine how hard my eyes must look. They've known pain, regret, hurt. Seen much more than they should have seen.

Water and coffee. Things that do not go together. Just like we do not go together. Nothing about us does.

Nonchalant, happy, funny, dorky, kind. I could go on describing the personality of that perfect pair of eyes.

Sensitive, emotional, stubborn, clingy, bossy. All things that I wish I wasn't. I can't help it. My parents shaped me and this is how I turned out.

Gentle fingers reach out and brush a strand of brown hair behind my ear. They linger against my cheek, setting warmth there.

Our lips lift in unison, smiles reflecting like a mirror. My eyes trace the outline of the lips across from me. I relish the feeling of someone smiling because of me. It doesn't seem to happen often. In fact, the opposite normally happens. I don’t… have an amazing reputation.

The lips I'm staring at, they open. Nothing comes out but I know what they long to say. The same thing I wish that I could say. For now, though, we will ignore the reason why we can't say what we want to. We will ignore the invisible barriers. The walls. The chains. The regrets. None of that matters right now. At this moment, it's just us. And nothing can stop that. Nothing at all.

A sigh tumbles off my lips and I turn my head to look back off the roof, the gentle fingers slowly falling from my face, wishing they could stay just a bit longer.

The sound of a car passes, interrupting our silence only momentarily. I adjust how I am sitting, crossing my legs and laying my hands in my lap. My eyes droop for a slight second before shooting back open.

I’m tired. I've barely slept for a while and the drowsiness is beginning to set in. I've been up studying for school most nights. The other nights, I just can't sleep. My mind's always racing, keeping me up. There’s always something to think about, to worry about, to regret. It’s an endless whirlpool of thoughts. A tornado.

A hesitant hand finds mine, fingers intertwining. A faint squeeze and a thumb brushing back and forth. The feeling is warm and brings comfort back into my mind. It replaces my negative thoughts.

My stomach flutters at the contact, goosebumps shooting up my arm. I return the squeeze. My eyes focus on a tree, only thinking about the soft hand in mine. I brush a strand of my hair out of my face, immediately wishing the soft hand had done it for me again.

The ocean eyes are still watching me, scanning my face over and over again, as though nothing could ever make them look away. As though they are entirely content to stare at me until the end of time. It takes a lot of effort for me to not stare right back, though I am tempted greatly.

Instead, I lean over. My head hits a shoulder and my cheek presses against it, hair falling over my face. I blow at the hair so that nothing is in front of my eyes.

A hint of gold flickers over the horizon, followed by a strand of pink and orange, the colors blending together to create a faint ombre. Warmth settles on the rooftop, nicely greeting the world like an old friend. The stars begin to disappear, along with the cold air. I silently wish the black sky goodbye.

The promise of a new day sets in. A chance to wipe the slate clean and restart our relationship. To take back all of the negative words we have spoken. To forget the past and rebuild the trust between us.

I close my eyes, the light of the sun seeping through my eyelids. I breathe deeply, feeling my chest shift up and down slowly. A heart races beneath my ear, syncing with my pounding heart. I could fall asleep like this. My lips lift again in joy and excitement. So much that it's beginning to hurt my cheeks.

There won't ever be another moment like this in my life. Ever. I just know it. This will flow through my head over and over again until it's etched into my brain. Never able to be forgotten again.

I don't care about anything right now. Anyone. Other than the person to my right. The perfect person with the ocean blue eyes, soft hands, and mess of dirty blonde hair. Those are the only things I could care about at this moment. Everything else is forgotten, pushed aside. I won't let any worries get in the way.

A light weight against the top of my head. My hair ruffles with a deep breath that mimics mine. “I’m sorry.” The whisper is muffled and soft, yet it affects me hugely.

“You don’t have to be,” I reply gently, my eyes open once again. No more words are spoken and none are needed. We let the silence sink in once again as we watch the gold continue to rise in the sky, illuminating the future for us to take on.