I Escaped from the Darkness

I Escaped From the Darkness.

When I woke up on Saturday morning, I looked out of the window. The sun was shining brightly in a blue sky and all of the dark clouds had disappeared. We had experienced bleak weather with storms and heavy rain for a week. It was a relief to see the return of the light, and I started my day feeling very positive. The bright atmosphere reflected the positive lifestyle change that had taken place yesterday when I had received the first good news in a long time.

My life had been put on hold after my ex- partner was charged with Domestic Violence. When we had first met, I saw a kind supportive person and I fell in love with him. We moved into a new apartment and shared many positive moments together. John worked at a local Bank, and I had a fulfilling teaching career in a High School close to our unit. We were financially secure and we were planning to go on an overseas trip during the next school holidays. Then gradually things began to change and it started with a conversation one evening. John spoke to me “ I don’t want you going out with your friends again. I get concerned when you are late getting home and when I try and contact you I don’t get a return call. This has to stop.” I wasn’t prepared for this and the concern for me was hidden by John’s angry voice and his threatening demeanor. This disturbing confrontations continued and accelerated.

Every day there were arguments, often about minor issues, like an evening meal that didn’t fit in with John’s preferred favourite recipe choices. At first I defended myself and raised my voice to confront John. However, he was never prepared to consider my feelings and my point of view. These arguments negatively affected our relationship, and we started to fall apart. At one stage I considered moving out but I didn’t follow through with this idea and the control got worse. John started to tell me what to wear and he stopped me from contacting my family. The control and verbal abuse finally led to physical abuse and I was getting injured when he hit me with his hand and finally with a kitchen knife which left me with cuts on my right arm and severe bleeding. When John stormed out, I called for an ambulance, and I was taken to the local hospital. My wounds were treated and I was discharged the next day. The physical wounds healed but my mental wounds remained with me.

During the short stay in hospital, I was given the option of having a Support Worker come to my bed and help me to navigate the situation I had been forced into. I agreed to see her, and she offered me the chance to share my experience and explained a way I could move forward into a safe environment. She set me up in Emergency Accommodation and I moved in after leaving hospital. The staff at the hospital who had treated me followed the mandatory obligations and reported the abuse to the authorities. I was interviewed by the police and John was charged with domestic violence offences. He had not given up and I found out he had contacted my friends demanding them to tell him where I was. My friends were also targeted with verbal abuse which may have led to physical abuse in the future. John pleaded guilty and entered into a plea bargain rather than going to Court where the physical evidence backed up by the hospital staff and evidence from my friends would probably have led to a guilty verdict. John was sentenced to 10 years in jail with a non parole period of seven years. I hoped that he would be rehabilitated in jail and be able to live a peaceful and fulfilling life in the future. I realised I still had feelings for the person I had met.

I had moved out of my Domestic Violence Environment, but the Challenges didn’t go away. The abuse stayed with me as I struggled with Mental Health Issues and being trapped in the past unable to move forward. My career had ended; I was struggling financially surviving on a Government benefit and I was confined to my apartment as I suffered with Acrophobia as I could not risk interacting with anyone. I believed that everyone could have the capacity and the inclination to abuse me and this fear extended to my friends who had reached out to me with love and support. Then Julie, my former work colleague turned on the light to help me find my way out of the darkness.

Julie contacted me with an email with a recommendation about a Local Domestic Violence Support Organization. The support workers had listened to her concerns, provided positive feedback and helped her to access further support. Taking the initial step to get help had been challenging for her but the positive results had been worth all the negative hurdles in the beginning. Thinking about Julie’s present achievements in her career and personal life convinced me to take the first step and I contacted the Organisation, set up an interview and proceeded to walk away from the dark environment to the bright surroundings with initial small steps. The ultimate result was a life filled with love, satisfaction and achievement as well as life’s normal challenges. I had the personal strength and ongoing support around me to face any challenges that came my way.

I now have a satisfying career, a supportive and caring partner and two beautiful children and we live in a two-story house in a beautiful neighbourhood. There is always a way to escape from the darkness into the light with help from other people who do not walk away from us. The answer to life’s difficulties is learning to never get lost in a dark but find the way to move forward into a bright landscape with support.