Here’s A Reason Why Dogs Say “Thanks A ‘Rot!’”

Here’s A Reason Why Dogs Say “Thanks A ‘Rot!’”

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a really nice black rottweiler. He was the runt of 10 puppies and his parents just flat ran out of names to call all of their little-ones. The girls each had lovely names because their parents had high-hopes that they’d each grow up to be some faithful, beautiful dogs who’d have many more puppies to carry on their family tree which, “wooden” be a bad thing since they’d go out on a, “limb” to make sure their, “bark” was much better than their bite no matter who, “leaves” them alone so it was important that each, “dog-wood” be loyal and faithful. It was really important that all the puppies would do, “well,” since that was a, “deep” subject for all of their, “shallow” minds.

The girl puppies all had pretty names such as Queeny, Gorgeous, Faith and Victoria. The males each had valiant names like Tiger, King, Bruiser and Killer. That was mama’s third bunch of puppies. Because she’d had so many babies, she was plum out of names to call them. She and her hubby were quite eager to have a good name for the black runt and so out of sheer desperation the only dog-name that came to mind for their puppy just happened to be Snowball, for they knew no other black dog would have that name. Besides, when he was adopted he would get a different name anyway so they figured it just didn’t matter all that much.

Yet they were wrong. He still had to put up with all the other dogs teasing and jeering that came because of his name, but he was a really loving dog, not like his siblings. Still none of them would let him play any games with them while they were growing up such as chaseball and pin the tail on the dog-key. That always made him cry, or whimper as the case may be. Then the others would call him a sissy, so he couldn’t win for losing. It just wasn’t fair at all.

Another thing they’d do to him which really did hurt his feelings big-time was to look at him then whisper to each other and laugh. He knew they were laughing at him, but he just didn’t have a clue what was so funny. When he would tell his parents about it they’d always say, “Don’t worry sweetie, they’re jealous because you have some things they don’t have, that’s all.”

It made him feel good for a few seconds, but then all those horrible feelings came right back.

Later he was playing a rousing game called Throw The Stick In The Air And Catch It. That was one of many games he’d made up to play with himself. The coolest part about that is he would always win it. Then he heard some faint yipping come from behind the neighbors house. That was when he recognised it as one of those dogs who’d been teasing him quite a lot, but he ran towards the sound anyway. There, he saw him caught in a trap with his legs tied together and his mouth had an uncomfortable muzzle on it. That meant he was officially caught in one of Mr. McGregger’s traps. Now, he knew how much Mr. McGregger adored every one of his vegetables because he was the same fussy guy who’d caught a small bunny there eating them before who was none other than Peter Rabbit.

As Snowball ran to help free his brother, out came Mr. Mc Gregger himself. He’d heard the noise of those darn old cowbells clattering on his trap. When he saw the great big dog who was there, he ran to him and shouted out, “Aha! So you’re the rascal who’s been messing up my guardian! Well, you have just ruined your last one ever, buddy! I’m gonna blow a hole in you that is big enough to plow a whole rototiller through, you greedy orchard-ruiner!” Then he ran to his nearby shed to pick up his 30 aught magnum rifle, which he’d stolen because they were illegal to purchase in the United States.

While he ran to his barn, out came Snowball. When he saw that his brother, who wasn’t normally busy but he appeared to be all, “tied-up” at the moment, it made him mad. Even though he was the main ring-leader who had started all the name-calling and teasing, he realised that he was part of his own flesh-and- blood so it was only proper that he should try to help him. Snowball quickly ungagged and untied the huge dog. After that, they both ran to the barn where Mr. McGregger was looking for bullets. Snowball bit him on the place that he put in a chair first. As a female cow would call it, “his, ‘dairy’-aire.” That caused him to be in big trouble which was no, “bull,” and yet it was, “udder”-ly impossible for all the others not to laugh. That caused him to really, “Moooove” up into the air and cry out in pain, then he fell on the dirt which hurt both of his, “calf” muscles. He thought all that junk he was getting from those pesky puppies, who each weighed about 30 pounds, was just a lot of, “bull” which made him wish the bell would sound to end that round, even a cow-,“bell,” but he never, “herd” one. Snowball told the other dog to just get out of there, but he wanted to be sure that mean, old man never tried to do anything awful to him, or the other raughts again, so not only did he take a huge hunk out of the man’s hine-quarters and tore a really massive hole in his favorite, extremely expensive trousers, but they chewed up his custom-made shoes and socks which left him with bare-feet. Make that people-feet, even though he wished that he had, “bear-feet” to help me run a lot faster and get away from that wild animal who had gone totally berserk. He limped away from that crazy animal while screaming bloody-murder as he hobbled down the road. Next, the, “mean” dog came running to join forces with all the awesome victory celebrations with the other rottweilers. They were each praising him because he had proven that he was a, “rot wilder” than any of the other dogs in his pack. They were confident that mean, old Mr. McGreggar would also, “pack” his things and move to another location that would be free of animals such as the ones who had attacked him. He broke his, “leash” and moved.

Then came Snowball’s entire pack, who’d heard all the commotion, coming to join in with that noisy scene. All of them embraced him warmly in a dog-hug, which is a little bit less than a bear-hug, only it itches more since it sometimes brings fleas, but all of them said in unison, “No fleas,-please! We’re just glad that meen, old man, ‘flee’-with-ease!” Then they laughed again. Some of them asked him, “Why can’t you keep out of trouble for more than a couple of minutes like all the others in your pack, man? They should make a game that’s named after you called, ‘Pack-Man!’ So don’t go, ‘pack your Packman!’ We want you to stay with us here forever! We love you very much!”

Snowball hung his head in shame. Then the others broke out in laughter, and so he finally joined in with his own laughter. They had each proven that deep down inside of their hearts, they really did love each other and they wanted to be sure that nobody would ever cause them any kind of, “dog-gone” problems again. If they did, their lives would be extremely, “Ruff!” It also proved even though the pack was right wild, Snowball was still a, “rot wilder” than any of the other dogs who were in his happy family. They didn’t have to, “hound” each other to get anything accomplished and dog spelled back- words is God, Who gave them all the love they had in their hearts to begin with which was cool.

As Snowball got older, he eventually met a female all-white rottweiler who was named Midnight who’d gotten her name the same way Snowball did. That meant they already had something in common right from the beginning point. They hit it off immediately. Then several weeks later they were having to take care of their own puppies who were all quite trashy things which is why they were referred to as a, “litter.” Anyway, like the best-written children’s stories of all-time will officially finish up with,

“THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER !!!!” —-----------------------------------------------------------

The end. By, CuZ Roye.