Eleanor

Hi, my name is Jackson. I have had this crush on this one girl, Eleanor, for a very, very, very long time, ever since middle school. She’s a book nerd just like me. I admire her everyday, admiring her beauty. The thing is, I don't talk to her. She’s beautiful. Every time she walks past me I smell her sweet, comforting scent that makes me melt as the wind blows through her brown, silky, chocolate hair, gliding through the small gust of wind as she passes by in her favorite green cardigan with a brown shirt and dark blue pants, holding her books. That's the only thing I get from her.

As usual, I was admiring her, she caught me. I hid as quickly as I could, turning around a corner in the hallway. I stood there, hoping she didn’t notice me. She came around the corner, looking right at me.

“Hi!”

“Uh, hi”

“My name is Eleanor”

“Oh, ya I kno-, I mean good to meet you. My name is Jackson”

Eleanor leaned against the wall. Her standing right next to me made me lose my train of thoughts.

"Ya, I know, I've seen you around a couple of times before. Mostly in the library.”

Oh no, does she know I watch her all the time.

“Oh ya, ya, um.”

“Do you wanna be friends?”

My heart sank. She wanted to be my friend, MY friend. I was in disbelief.

“Ya, sure, I’ll love to.”

She smiled.”Well see ya around, Jackson.” walking away.

My heart beat rapidly. I was probably red as a tomato. For the rest of the day, all I could think of is how she said my name. It was like she hypnotized me. I couldn't walk straight, I kept daydreaming, she was all I could think of.

During the free period, where I’ll always go to the library, I looked for her. She wasn’t in her usual seat, so I sat there and waited for her to come. As time passed I got more and more nervous. After about 5 minutes I got up to find a book because I got too anxious. I started looking through books quickly, pacing around. What if she didn’t talk to me, what if I’m going crazy, am I going crazy?!

“Hi! You okay?”

I jumped. “Oh ya, I’m good, just looking for a book.” [nervous smile]

“Don’t you already have thousands of books?”

“No.”

“I’m just playing, let's go find a good one.”

She grabbed my arm and took me to the geographic book section.

“No way you like this genre of books.”

“You must be weird to not like it.” She said, still holding my arm, smiling.

Everyday we would go to the library and read books together. I started to get over my nervousness being around her. After a while we became the bestest of friends, but I wanted to be more than friends and prom was coming up, so I wanted to ask her out. Per usual. We met in the library and we started talking.

“Do you know how prom is coming up?”

“Yes! I'm so excited!

“I got asked out by my crush! So exciting! I would have never thought he would ask me out!”

My heart broke. All I felt was pain. My chest caved in, my body weakened.

“That's amazing! I’m so happy for you.”

“I know right! Are you gonna come? Do you have a date too?”

“Ya and no.” I replied, putting my head down

“What! How do you not have a date?! You’re so nice!”

“That’s a really good question, I wonder why too.”

On the day of prom, I looked in the mirror, tying my tie holding back tears. I didn’t even want to go anymore. She won't give me any attention and I’ll just be standing there watching her have an amazing time without me. But that was the good part, seeing her happy, so I still went.

When I showed up I saw her right away, sitting alone. I went to go talk to her but her date came with some drinks and sat next to her. I really didn’t wanna but I went to sit by them too.

“Hi.”

“Oh my god, Hi! You made it!

“This is Josh.”

“Hi, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too. Eleanor, lets go dance”

“Okay!

“Can you watch our drinks?”

“Sure.”

They ran off into the crowd holding hands. Although I was upset, I was happy to see her happy, dancing in her beautiful blue dress with her hair half up, looking at Josh with her beautiful green eyes, genuinely happy. An hour into the dance I was still sitting at the table and she was still dancing with Josh. I wanted to leave but I had to watch their drinks. Hour 3, towards the end, the DJ played slow music. They then kissed. I got up, grabbed their drinks, threw them away, looked at Eleanor one more time, and left the venue.

Walking to my car, all I could do was cry. I started my car but couldn't leave. He does not deserve her, she is amazing and smart and kind and gentle but she’s too naive to know her worth. He’s just thirsty, I just know he is going to break her heart.

I sat in my car for the rest of the evening. I saw them walk out of the venue holding hands. He walked her to her car and left, didn’t open the door for her or anything. She drove out of the parking lot. I just sat there. The parking lot got emptier and emptier. After a while of emptiness, I decided it was time to go home now.

I didn’t want to go back to school knowing that they’ll be together. But I still went to protect her. As usual, I went to the library. She didn’t show up. Day by day, she didn’t come.

It was now graduation time. I was excited to start a new chapter in my life. But I still felt that I needed something, someone.

We sat down in our seats, in the same row 3 seats away . The principal started talking. I couldn’t help myself, I had to look at her. She looked my way and smiled. I waved but she didn't wave back. I looked behind me and it was Josh. The rest of graduation was a blur. I was constantly zoning out. It felt like forever.

Years later, I started to forget about her. But one day when I was walking to my college lecture, I saw her. She walked past me, she smelt the same.

“Jackson?”

I turned around. She was looking right at me.

“Hi.”

She dropped her books and ran towards me.

“Jackson!”

She jumped into my arms. We fell to the ground. At that moment the fall didn’t hurt. My heart started beating rapidly as if it was being re-healed. I felt tingly and the world felt more vibrant. We stood up and I melted in her arms, releasing everything, I started crying. I felt at peace.

“How have you been?” Eleanor said, whipping my tears.

“Not the best but now I’m 100% better now.”

“I’m so sorry for everything.

“I realized I needed you all along.”

“I missed you so very much, you have no idea.

“Ever since you left I had no meaning in life and I missed reading together and-.”

She kissed me.

“I missed you too.”