The Navy Blue Chevrolet

Thriller

Written in response to: "Write a story told entirely through one chase scene." as part of A Moment Like This.

The navy blue Chevrolet was parked right outside the Metro Cash and Carry supermarket. On the first glance, nothing seemed wrong with it. But if one looked at it for even another second, they would know something was wrong.

It was hard to pinpoint what that was. It was nothing too conspicuous, like a broken headlight or a flat tire. No, it was just the subtle aura that seemed to surround the car. It was like a little pool of poison, slowly spreading, growing larger, seeping into everything it touched.

It was no surprise that the parking spaces around the car were all empty.

The woman who owned the navy blue Chevrolet was a child prodigy in music. She had begun singing at the age of two, played the piano, the guitar, the sitar (an Indian stringed instrument) and was generally a brilliant musician.

She once heard a few seconds of a mazurka by Chopin as a ringtone, and had gone home and improvised a whole piece on the piano, using those few seconds as the theme. She was six at the time.

She was also, as a prodigy normally is, a little on the eccentric side. She never liked her parents’ home garden, and had torn up the whole thing, one night. She was rarely awake before twelve noon, and was rarely asleep by twelve midnight.

She quit music after she lost in a singing competition at the age of sixteen and moved out of her parents’ house. They lost contact with her after that.

The woman was now thirty years old, happily forgotten, and was living a half-decent life. She had just finished buying her weekly supply of groceries from the Metro supermarket. She unlocked the Chevrolet and opened the boot.

She pushed the large duffel bag that had been lying there since morning to the back and stuffed the two bags of provisions she had bought inside.

She walked slowly to the driver’s side, looking at everyone and everything near her suspiciously.

It was a few minutes before she opened the door and got in. She reversed the car and exited the tall iron gates of the supermarket, heading for the highway.

The traffic was slow, and it was almost half an hour before the woman got to the tollbooth.

“A ticket. Single.” she said to the man inside.

“Twenty.”

She rummaged around in her purse and handed him a crumpled note. He took it, barely glancing at her and let her through.

The woman picked up speed. If she had to get home by five o’ clock, she had to drive fast. She hummed a little sad tune to herself as she drove; the only extent of her return to music. It was a different tune every time, and original too. However long ago it was when she dropped music, she never lost her composing abilities.

She was doing sixty kilometres an hour now. It was a long way to her exit.

She glanced around at the traffic. There were a few lumbering trucks towards the very left and a gleaming silver Audi that slowed down next to her car, then suddenly roared and shot forward.

Ahead was a large white van, with a picture of a famous politician splashed across both sides. A popular slogan of the party was painted on the back, but some letters had long since fallen off.

She had sped up to eighty kilometres an hour. The engine of the Chevrolet hummed, as the car switched gears. She could hear the pistons jump back and forth, at alarming speeds. If she listened intently, though, she could hear the pistons move even at twenty kilometres an hour.

She glanced at the odometer and smiled; a lopsided smile, that showed off her left premolars and molars. She was a few kilometres from hitting a lakh.

All was quiet for a few moments. Then, the shrill, piercing shriek of an ambulance. She glanced at the rear-view mirror. It was directly behind her, but still a while away. Nevertheless, she swung to the other lane, interrupting a red Toyota’s speeding streak.

The ambulance rocketed past, shuddering and shaking from the speed. The woman was concerned; it seemed like the ambulance could fall apart any moment. It sped up further and soon disappeared from view.

The woman herself had increased her speed from eighty to a hundred kilometres an hour. The little red marker of the speedometer had hovered around indecisively for a minute, swinging like a pendulum between ninety and ninety-five, before the woman had gotten annoyed and sped up to a hundred.

She looked at the rear-view mirror for the second time. A frown knitted her thin, angular brows together. She looked vaguely annoyed, as though a fly was constantly buzzing around her. It was the police car; it had been following her since the time she had left the supermarket.

She sped up much more, gunning for her exit. She didn’t know why, but her grip on the wheel became much stronger, her heart thundered against her rib-cage, and her breathing became faster. She shook her head and forced herself to calm down.

Nothing will happen, she thought to herself, they’re not looking for you.

But it seemed as though they were. They took the same exit she did, and followed her past the heavy traffic of a junction.

The woman was now beginning to get worried. She swung sharply to the left into a thin deserted alley, hoping they’d leave her, but no luck. The police car, for all its lumbering weight, made the turn quite easily.

She pushed the Chevrolet’s engine to its maximum, hitting a hundred and twenty kilometres an hour, before slowing down when she hit the main road.

She had seen enough movies to know how to lose cops on your trail, but now that she was faced with that situation in real life, it turned out to be much, much harder than she thought.

“Goddamn it!” she muttered to herself. “Movie guys have it so easy. Just one turn and a dramatic jump, the cops are off their tail.”

She wrenched the wheel to the right, the tires skidding and squealing as they spun to do her bidding. She could swear she smelled burnt rubber. The Chevrolet shot through two particularly menacing looking trucks, just making it through.

The woman inside sighed in relief. The police car was off her trail. Wait. No, there it was, cruising along smoothly, just twenty or so metres behind her. How was that possible?

“Oh, heck,” she said. “I can’t goddamn lose them!”

The chase continued for ten more minutes; an entertaining game of cat-and-mouse, but extremely frustrating for the supposed mouse.

In the end, the woman gave up. She screeched to a halt in front of a large shopping mall. The police car did the same, behind her.

The woman sat there, not moving, waiting. She was still clutching the steering wheel.

The police officer approached the shotgun’s window. He was short and had a thin mustache. He looked about fifty years old, with a large bald spot right on the top of his crown. He was sweating in the heat of the afternoon.

He knocked on the window, and the woman inside slowly lowered it. Her heart was running a marathon, and adrenaline coursed through every fiber of her body.

“Good afternoon, Ma’am,” the police officer said. “We were just on our way to the police station, down the street there,” he gestured, “and we couldn’t help but notice you were doing almost a hundred and fifty kilometres an hour. In case you hadn’t noticed, Ma’am, that is twice the speed limit in this area. So, much as we dislike doing this to taxpayers, Ma’am, we are forced to book you for speeding.” He handed the woman a ticket.

The woman’s breath caught. Her heart skipped a beat. She held out a shaky hand and almost ripped the ticket as she took it from him.

“You can come to pay the fine at the desk in this police station,” he jabbed a podgy thumb towards the police station down the street, “anytime. Talk to the man outside. He’ll help you.”

The woman nodded. The police officer didn’t go, as she thought (and was hoping) he would. He looked around for a moment, and then said, “Excuse me, Ma’am, but I’ll also need to see a license and the ownership papers.”

“Yes.” the woman said. Her voice came out raspy and hoarse; not her usual melodious tone. She reached over and opened the glove compartment. She rummaged around for a moment, then handed him her driver’s license.

“Thank you.” He squinted at the little plastic card. She handed him the ownership papers.

He scanned them quickly and said, “Thank you, Ma’am. I must say, this is a damn fine car you’ve got.”

“Thank you.” Her heart was beating faster again.

“Say, you wouldn’t happen to know where we could find a good vegetarian restaurant here, would you? My partner back in the car doesn’t eat meat or egg. Personally, I eat both. Especially chicken. I know it’s common and stuff, but there’s nothing as fine as a well-cooked chicken-”

“I think there’s one inside this mall.” The woman interrupted, pointing towards the large red building behind the police officer.

“Thank you,” he nodded. “I’ll be leaving now, and don’t speed again.”

“I won’t.”

The police officer walked back to his car, then his partner accompanied him inside the mall. The woman exhaled shakily. Her head was pounding, and her breath was coming out in rapid gasps.

“Too close,” she kept saying. “Too close.”

She sat still for a few minutes, hands on the steering wheel, then got out and opened the boot. She dragged the large brown duffel bag a little closer and unzipped it. The corners of her lips curved into a small smile, as she stared at the body of the little boy with a knife sticking out of his chest lying in the duffel bag, an expression of horror on his face.



Posted Jul 16, 2020
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70 likes 61 comments

Jonathan Blaauw
July 29, 2020 12:35

I always enjoy unexpected endings. This was good, well done. You’ve got the tension going with the chase nicely, and I love the way you start with the evil aura of the car. Also, I’ve been to India, so I know what a lakh is and I also know that a highspeed chase in Delhi traffic would be terrifying for anyone, despite what they may or may not have in a duffel in the boot. Very good portrayal.
Twists are tricky because you want to surprise the reader but almost in a way they should have seen coming, but didn’t. If that makes sense? Your twist is great, and gruesome, and certainly unexpected, but next time you might want to hint a bit more. It’s so hard to get right, but if you mention, for example, that she hated judge who caused her to lose the singing competition, and the judge had a child, and she was looking for revenge… then the reveal would be grounded in logical basis, but would still be a surprise. You know? Something like that. I think the fear is always giving away too much, and there is a danger of that sometimes, but if one is going to err, I’d say do so on the side of giving away too much rather than not enough.

But that doesn't take away from your story at all. Your ending makes the reader sit up and go WTF? Which is what you were going for, I’m sure. So good job.

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Nandan Prasad
July 29, 2020 12:58

Thanks so much! Your feedback really means a lot. I see your point about the motive, but I got this idea only two days before the contest ended, so I just busted it out as quickly as possible. Maybe if I publish it later, I'll think about that. Thank you so much.

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Nisha Mohan
July 27, 2020 19:03

Dear Nandan,

My gosh, you are one heck of a writer!
The last line was so unanticipated! But good narrative.
I am an a new author, my recent book being, 'An Unforgettable Holiday - What Happens When Love Has No Boundaries-

If you get some time, do read and leave a review :)

Regards
Nisha Mohan

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Nandan Prasad
July 28, 2020 01:55

Thanks! Sure, I will check out your book!

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Karin Venables
July 27, 2020 14:01

I knew from the time she shoved the grey duffel back into the boot, she had something to hide. The terror of being chased by the police was real to her in a whole different way from most. The prodigy has turn into a murderer. I wonder who the boy was, her son or someone else's? You did a fabulous job of describing the chase and the emotions that went with it. Well written,

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Nandan Prasad
July 28, 2020 01:53

Thanks so much!

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Nandan Prasad
July 28, 2020 01:54

Be sure to check out my other stories too if you have time.

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Djenat Remmache
July 23, 2020 21:26

No one expected the ending, well done!

Check my new story when you find time :)

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Nandan Prasad
July 24, 2020 03:25

Thanks! Sure, I will surely check out your story soon.

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A. S.
July 28, 2020 04:52

The ending of this story was totally unexpected! Throughout the entire story there was a sense of dread building in my stomach! Good job. I am really excited to read more of your stories. If you would be willing to check out my newest story “Gone” that would be great!

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Nandan Prasad
July 28, 2020 05:01

Thanks so much! I'll check out your story soon.

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Nandan Prasad
July 28, 2020 05:01

Like if you enjoyed!

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Writers Block
July 28, 2020 02:40

Oooo...sequel please....

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Nandan Prasad
July 28, 2020 05:00

Thanks! I was actually thinking of writing a prequel; how she murdered the boy. Do you think I should?

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Writers Block
July 29, 2020 12:28

Yes

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Nandan Prasad
July 28, 2020 05:00

Do check out my other stories too if possible. Thanks!

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Nandan Prasad
July 28, 2020 05:02

Like if you enjoyed!

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July 21, 2020 10:36

Woah! Being a sucker for thrillers and suspense, I tend to notice details in stories. I did notice it when you mentioned she pushed it inside and kept her groceries, but you managed to hide it well till the twist in the end. Extremely well-written. Looking forward to more from you! ✌️✌️

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Nandan Prasad
July 21, 2020 11:35

Thanks!

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Tiffany Hua
July 18, 2020 23:47

I love the story, I'm obsessed! I didn't expect the plot twist at the end! Care to read mine?

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Nandan Prasad
July 19, 2020 03:34

Wow, thanks so much! Sure, I'd love to read yours.

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Roshna Rusiniya
July 16, 2020 13:33

Oh! The twist at the end! I wasn’t expecting that! Well done!

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Nandan Prasad
July 16, 2020 15:01

Thank you so much!

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Ashley Patterson
August 04, 2020 14:32

Very good had me lingering on to every word

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Nandan Prasad
August 05, 2020 05:08

Thanks a lot!

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Joshua Portugal
August 04, 2020 10:36

So I checked out your story. Daaaaamnn. The ending. The woman was a freaking psychopath. Really loved it, Nandan. Even I was sweating.

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Nandan Prasad
August 04, 2020 12:34

Thanks so much!

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DJ Clair Wy
August 02, 2020 22:16

excellent story,i did not see that coming

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Nandan Prasad
August 03, 2020 03:29

Thanks so much! Like if you enjoyed!

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Christina Hall
August 02, 2020 15:33

I enjoyed your story, and the ending. You did a good job of showing the tension she was feeling.

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Nandan Prasad
August 02, 2020 15:39

Thanks!

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Barbara Burgess
August 02, 2020 11:14

ooooo - creepy! I really enjoyed your story and the ending - very well done!

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Nandan Prasad
August 02, 2020 15:28

Thanks a lot!

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Leya Newi
August 01, 2020 14:00

This is the second story of yours I’ve read, and I love your writing style. It’s absolutely gorgeous, so for sure keep writing. Don’t ever stop!!
And the ending... I relaxed a little when the police officer didn’t catch her for whatever she had done (I hadn’t even realized I had tensed up, the story was so gripping) and then you pull out the boy-stabbed-through-the-chest card, and I started again. As with your other stories, brilliant job.

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Nandan Prasad
August 02, 2020 03:40

Thanks so much! Really means a lot to me.

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Sayani Sarkar
July 31, 2020 16:54

Jesus Christ. That was scary. There was so much eeriness in the story and the descriptions. I love a story that puts in so much effort into details. It was really nice and twisted :)

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Nandan Prasad
August 01, 2020 02:04

Thanks so much!

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Qazi Zufar Jamal
July 30, 2020 06:22

Really unexpected ending!! The characterisation of the women is simply beautiful. Just a suggestion though : Don’t spoil it by writing a prequel or sequel. All the mystery buffs must expect what to come. It’s better to leave on individual readers Imagination 🤟 kudos

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Nandan Prasad
July 30, 2020 06:34

Okay, thanks! I'll probably not write a prequel. Please do check out my other stories if you have the time 😊

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Geneva Savage
July 29, 2020 17:29

Holy crap!! That was great :) I loved the ending!!! Completely unexpected. My heart was beating so hard throughout the whole chase too. Great job and good luck ;)

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Geneva Savage
July 29, 2020 17:35

Could you check out my new story Love, Leila? If you have the time. I'd love to know what you think!!

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Nandan Prasad
July 30, 2020 05:04

Thanks so much!

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Katrina Lee
July 29, 2020 09:22

Oh my rereading the first few paras felt menacing! I like the way you write dialogue:) keep it up!

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Nandan Prasad
July 29, 2020 11:43

Thanks so much!

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Abby Irwin
July 27, 2020 02:28

Nice story. The twist at the end was super unexpected. however people who might not want those types of pictures in their heads read the whole story not expecting that it could be bad for them and then have those images stuck in their heads. You can still write those types of stories I just wanted to ask that you put a warning sentence at the beginning of those stories. Thanks.

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Nandan Prasad
July 27, 2020 03:24

Thanks for the feedback. And sure, I'll keep that in mind next time.

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Abby Irwin
July 27, 2020 19:15

Sure, and thanks for keeping it in mind.

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Mansi Bhagwate
July 26, 2020 14:43

Great twist ending! Almost forgot about the bag until the end.

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Nandan Prasad
July 26, 2020 15:08

Thanks a lot!

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Parul Srivastava
July 26, 2020 14:36

Whoa!! Hats off man, the twist was too good. I love suspense dramas, and you aced this prompt with your awesome writing.

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Nandan Prasad
July 26, 2020 15:07

Thanks so much!

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Grace M'mbone
July 20, 2020 22:02

I loved your story Nandan. Especially the ending. Wow. That totally did the trick. Please keep writing.

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Nandan Prasad
July 21, 2020 05:02

Thanks so much!

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Batool Hussain
July 20, 2020 14:57

Hello! I read this story before but didn't get a chance to comment on it. Not until now! This is a wonderful story. You definitely know how to play with words. Loving the twist at the end.

Mind checking out my new story and sharing your views on it?
Thanks;)

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Nandan Prasad
July 20, 2020 15:04

Thanks so much! And of course, I'll check out your story soon.

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Sahara Carter
July 18, 2020 14:44

Interesting! I was not paying attention to the duffle bag when she put it into the trunk. Great use of diversion with the weird aura around the car.

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Nandan Prasad
July 18, 2020 15:08

Thanks so much!

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