Long-Lived

“So, how do I tell this?

“I was about nine years old when it first happened. I was sitting on a couch at Jay Beaucamp’s combination parts store/mechanic shop/second hand goods store. My mother ran the second hand goods store and us kids stayed with her after school until either Dad got off work or Mother closed the store. If Dad got off work first, he’d come and wait for Mother to close the store, then we’d all go home. If Mother closed the store before Dad got there, Jay or one of his hired hands would take us all home in some beat-up old pickup. That was always more fun because us kids got to sit in the bed and wave at the cars following us.

“It was a late winter afternoon. The inside lights were already on because it was about five-thirty and pretty dim outside. Sitting on that couch, I watched me walk away heading toward the front door to see if Dan had driven up yet.

“Suddenly, I realized what I was seeing. Like a giant rubber band, that walking-away me snapped right back into the sitting-down-on-the-couch me. Kind of a strange sensation. I didn’t tell anybody about that until now that I’m telling you.”

“So, why are you telling me this stuff now? We’ve been dating for at least a year and now you decide to tell this story?” Roseanne, my betrothed, seemed a bit peeved. “Is there more I should know about you before we see my dad? You’re the one who wanted to get his blessing. Now you’re telling me a fantastical story that happens in movies with poltergeists and demons and weird little witches. What’s gotten into you?”

“Well, Dear, I figured we’d better talk about this stuff before we actually tell your dad we’re getting married. I really do intend to formally ask for his blessing for our marriage. But, there’s some things about me other than the obvious handsomeness and brilliance everyone sees. There’s stuff a wife should know beforehand so you won’t be shocked a year or two from now.”

She responded, “Pull over; I need some clarification. Are you telling me you’re some kind of woo-woo pervert or what? In other words, what the hell are you? I don’t want to marry some nut or pervert or societal misfit.”

“Well, I’m not any kind of pervert let alone a woo-woo one. I don’t completely know what I am. I'm not sure if I actually fit into society although I try to be what I believe fits in with society’s expectations. You mean the world to me, and I want you to spend the rest of your life with me.”

“Whoa, wait a minute, Robert! That sounds a bit threatening. ‘Live the rest of my life with you’? What, are you going to axe murder me or something after we get married?”

Boy, was this getting complicated!

“No, no, I’m sorry. That came out wrong, Roseanne. I would never hurt you. I just meant that I want us to spend the rest of your life together.”

“That doesn’t sound any better, Robert! Should I get out and just count this past year as pleasant and cut my losses?”

I started panicking. “No, Roseanne; please, I want to be with you forever.

“I know, I need to explain some more. Let me tell you a bit more about myself and my family. You’ve met my possessive sister and my taciturn brother. My parents you never met; they died about two years ago.

“At least that’s what we tell everyone. You see, there is a process called ‘ascending’ that involves setting aside the mortal coils. We’ll come back to that.

“You haven’t met my Aunt Carol or Aunt Kathy. They live over in Bali and mostly live in a temple there. People come from all over Southeast Asia and India to see them. They’re considered holy women and rarely leave the temple grounds.

“I’m sure you would like them and I’d like to take you there for our honeymoon.”

“Robert, unless you start making sense in the next few minutes, there won’t be a wedding let alone a honeymoon. Are there any other relatives I should know about? Maybe a vampire cousin or a goblin nephew or even a half-breed dragon/troll thing as an uncle?”

“Roseanne, don’t be silly. Those things don’t exist. At least, I’ve never heard of them outside some scary movie. And I really do want us to be married. I love you and I always will even after you’re gone.”

Roseanne reacted quickly with, “There you go again talking like you’re going to marry me, acquire my fortune, then knock me off. And, no, I don’t have a fortune. And if I did, you can bet I would insist on a pre-nup. What makes you keep talking like you know you will live longer than me?”

“I’ll get to that in a second. I want to tell you a bit more about my aunts in Indonesia first. Like I said, people come from all over that region of the world to see them, to be in their presence and to get their advice. They tell me that even people from the Americas go there to be with them.”

Roseanne retorted, “I don’t care about your batty old aunts in Indonesia! I care about you and about this weird conversation.

“Oh, Robert, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be nasty. It’s just you’ve scared me carrying on like we’re going to get married and then I’m going to die. My parents got married, they had me about eighteen months later and Mom died. They had a very short marriage. I don’t want that.”

“Roseanne, let me continue. Trust me. I love you and I’ll take care of you as long as I can.

“Please do me a favor and Google ‘Aunt Carol’ and ‘Aunt Kathy’ on your phone and tell me what you find. And don’t forget to ignore that first AI response because it’s usually wrong, incomplete or just stupid. You’ll find the Jakarta News report on them in about the fourth or fifth result. And, somewhere in there, you’ll see the Wikipedia reference.”

I watched her expression as she did the search on her phone. I do love watching her. As she got more into the search her expression changed. That first curious, thoughtful, intense expression morphed to intense interest and slowly to incredulity. Her eyes widened, her mouth ohhh-ed and her thumbs pounded and scrolled on the phone screen more forcefully as seconds passed.

“This is crazy,” she started. The Jakarta News article is from 1956 and it says Carol claimed to be a hundred and Kathy claimed to be a hundred and two. Their photos look like they’re in their late twenties or early thirties. The News states that their research seems to confirm their claims. How can that be?”

She continued, “Wikipedia shows the same 1956 photo and a photo from 2006; they look exactly the same! Fifty years later, they look exactly the same! How?”

By way of answer, I took out my phone and brought up WhatsApp. “Here is a selfie they sent me last Tuesday. What do you notice?”

“They’re exactly the same as the other photos on the ‘Net! How can that be?”

I answered, “They age slowly. We all age slowly.

“My parents told me that in 1956 my aunts lied about their age. They knew people would find it hard to believe that they were over a hundred, but they wanted to establish a baseline for people. They wanted to come out of the shadows and bless people.

“That reporter from back then interviewed them multiple times and did extensive research. He compared their claims with authenticated historical documents. He befriended professors of history as well as recognized amateur historians to confirm their stories. My parents told me that my aunts were his project for twenty years until he died.

“They told him of events in Europe from the 900’s that only a true buff of the age would know. They told him details of the signing of the Magna Carta in the 1200’s. They presented him with verbal evidence presented by Aunt Carol at Joan of Arc’s retrial in front of Pope Callixtus III.”

“So, what you’re telling me is that you all are some kind of vampire-ghost-weird thing that lives forever? Are you lying to me? You sound like a band of long-lived aliens or, worse, a gang of science fiction freaks! What are you guys? And why did you pick me?” Roseanne was starting to sound a tad panicky.

“I didn’t pick you; my heart did. I love you. It didn’t take long after we met for me to realize I really want to spend a lot of time with you. A lot of time loving you. A lot of time sharing our lives together.”

“Then, Robert, you’re going to have to convince me that marrying you won’t be the biggest mistake of my life. I started this day all excited about you asking my dad for my hand. I thought that was gallant and old-fashioned and perfect. I felt so special.

“And then you started talking weirdness about rubber-band bodies and riding in beds of old pickups and your parents ascending instead of dying. Then you sent me down a rabbit hole looking for references about really old young-looking relatives of yours. I don’t know if I want to know anymore or if I want to walk alone to see my daddy and just cry in his arms.”

“Roseanne, I’m sorry I hit you with all this now. I’ve wanted to discuss it with you for months, but I just couldn’t find the right time. I know it’s a lot to take in but I couldn’t go on any longer without telling you, without letting you know my family secrets. I wanted you to know all this before we talked with your dad.

“In case you thought it was too much to live with, I wanted to spare us the embarrassment of going back to your dad and telling him everything was off because my back story is just too odd.”

Roseanne was crying. “Robert, I love you, too, but what are you not telling me? Your parents ascended, you kept talking like you were planning on me dying right after we wed, you tell me your aunts are a zillion years old and kind of proved it. This is a lot.

“I want to marry you, but I can’t with all this hanging out there. Explain or drop me off at Dad’s.”

I started in, dreading the outcome. “Okay, first Mother and Dad. They felt they had done all they were supposed to do for people around the world. Two people can be a blessing for tens of thousands and those two were. They chose to work behind the scenes and to avoid notoriety or fame, however you want to look at it.

“At the end of their time, Creator allowed them to move on. He did the same thing for Enoch and Elijah in the Old Testament and for Jesus’s mother. When it was time, they just went. Same with Mother and Dad; they were there, then they weren’t.

“We don’t know why we are long-lived. We just are. The only drawback to it is that we lose the ones we love to Time. Remember that old movie about the guy from the Scottish Highlands? It’s kind of like that, but that nonsense of only one being around is pure drama. It’s not at all true. Us Long-Lived are few and we live and let live.

“I’m still relatively young; I’ve only been around for about three hundred years. I will probably live another thousand years according to my kin. That’s what I meant when I said I’d love you as long as you lived.”

She started, “Robert, thank you for telling me all this. I will never forget you and I will never share what you’ve told me. I will tell Dad we talked and decided we’re not meant for each other. I can’t live with this. And I won’t.

“I may go to Bali and visit your aunts and see how they’re doing for myself. They sound interesting. But I cannot go through with this.

“Good luck, Robert. Please don’t call me. I’ll walk from here to Dad’s house and probably spend a few days with him. Don’t visit me.

“Good-bye, Robert.”

With that, she got out of the car and walked away. I sat and watched her until she turned the corner. Then I made a u-turn and went home.

Years later, Aunt Kathy told me Roseanne visited her and Carol with her new husband and daughter. She seemed happy.