Long Live the King

🏆 Contest #216 Winner!

170 likes 93 comments

Funny Thriller Mystery

Written in response to: "Write a story with an open ending that gives readers just enough details to draw their own conclusions." as part of Show, Don't Tell.

"I was eight years old the first time I heard his name." Shifting in the hard plastic seat, my wrists are shackled to a metal chain link at the center of the table, limiting my mobility.

The officer observes my discomfort passively, already impatient and annoyed with my recollection of events.

"I was thinking a little more recent, Miss Clark. Like why you were caught standing outside his home with a bloody—"

"No, no, you don't understand. I need to start at the beginning. So you can understand," I enunciate, not trusting Officer Dougher, an overworked, underpaid, exhausted, dispassionate cop, to actually comprehend the beauty of my tale.

A tired sigh escapes me, not from lack of sleep but disappointment. Officer Dougher waves his fingers, gesturing for me to continue. I don't trust him, but this is the end of the line. The metal handcuff digs into my wrist as I adjust in my seat so I can really get into the story. Ignoring the pinching skin, I lean forward, welcoming him into my world.

I think back to that day, so many years ago now. Curled up in a ball on the lumpy, plaid couch, the edges of the cushions fraying, made worse when I ran my fingers along the seams. Shivering as the winds howled and rattled the single-pane glass windows of my friend's tiny cabin on Cliff Island, off the coast of Maine. 

The day started bright and sunny, and like all the other kids who lived temporarily or year-round on the island, we spent every second playing in the ocean and cutting away debris through the woods like explorers and marauders. My best friend Ella had a neighbor, a boy who was older than us, maybe only a year or two, but at the time, the schism of our ages felt enormous. 

He was tall. He spoke confidently and made fewer stupid jokes than the boys Ella and I went to school with on the mainland. Something about that island boy consumed me, and he was all I could think about as we explored the island that summer. I followed him bravely as we climbed up trees and leaped, clutching the makeshift swing as we flung ourselves into the water below.

As that particular day came to an end, I followed Ella, reluctant but resigned, back to her camp; the first dewy drops of rain wet our shoulders, and the shadows cast amongst the trees expanded. A storm was coming, you could smell it in the air.

By the time night fell, it was like a hurricane descended upon the island. Everything shook and howled and whistled, but the adults weren't concerned, and neither was Ella, so I forced myself to pretend I wasn't scared, too.

We curled up on the couch in the small den—Ella called it the inside-outside room because although there were four walls and a roof, the floor-to-ceiling rattling glass windows still made you feel like you were outside. Hovering together under mounds of blankets, Ella's parents flipped through the channels of their old TV—at that time, they could only get basic cable, and it sat like a gargantuan box on the floor, surrounded by towers of VHSs and DVDs—and landed on a movie. A lime-green light and eerie music set the first scene.

Ella's parents argued over whether they should let us watch it or not. In the end, her mom sighed and told her dad he could be the one to deal with us girls if we were up all night crying from nightmares.

That's not what happened, though. Because I was eight years old and about to learn the name of the man who would change my life forever.

'What's this movie called?' I whispered to Ella, who loudly reiterated my question to her parents.

Her dad responded between chews of soggy popcorn, 'Tommyknockers.'

It was a weird movie. I felt like my mind was being twisted and warped and corrupted, then pet gently to rest when the movie came to an end.

'It's a Stephen King. You girls've heard of 'im, right? He's a Mainer,' her dad announced proudly. As if we had a claim to him. As if we should know him.

"That was when my obsession started," I return to the present, explaining to the officer in front of me. His pen lifts off the yellow-lined notebook, sparking my curiosity. Why wouldn't he use a laptop to take my statement? Surely that would be easier? 

I like the drama of the pen and yellow-lined pages. Like we're back in the fifties, and he's trying to get me to talk by making the room a little too hot and the light too bright. Any second now, his partner, the good cop, will come in here and offer me a cigarette and a whiskey.

"Miss Clark," Officer Dougher prods, annoyed that I keep getting lost in my head. 

"I didn't play with the other kids the next day. I didn't care about the tall, handsome boy next door. After the movie ended, I asked Ella's parents about Stephen King, and her mom casually explained, while folding musty old blankets and picking up remnants from our slumber party in the inside-outside room, that she had a few of his books lying around somewhere. I just had to dig around and find them." I tell the story like I'm writing it down, with nuance and interiority.

"You see," I tell the cop—or is he a detective? His plain clothes point to the latter, but he's the same man who caught me outside the tall, gothic red mansion, handcuffing and stuffing me into the back of his cruiser. "I spent that whole summer, hell, the entire next year reading The Dark Towers. I didn't understand half of what I was reading, needing a dictionary to help me translate nearly every line. But it was nothing like the books we were reading in school. I became obsessed."

Dougher reacts to this word. Obsessed. It's a trigger word, a small point against me, an indication that I wasn't quite right in the head.

"That led me to other authors, of course. Ray Bradbury, Frank Herbert, Clive Barker, Douglas Adams. Then, as I got older, it became Atwood and Nin, Vonnegut and Palahniuk and Bukowski. I lost myself in—"

A gruff throat clearing interrupts my train of thought, and I glance up, wide-eyed and mystified, suddenly immersed in all those unspent feelings of my youth, trapped in a miasma of misanthropy and bibliophilic lust. 

But Officer Dougher and his graying, whiskery, late-shaven face is disinterested in my passions. He wants the crux of the story, the meat of it, the spoilers. He doesn't want the prose or tension. Just give it to me, his eyes scream. Just admit what you did!

He would truly hate reading Tom Robbins.

He releases a long, suffering sigh when the door creaks open behind him, and a second officer, this one clad in standard blues, enters the room, holding a clear plastic evidence bag.

I wince when I see the contents.

The new cop drops the bag unceremoniously on the table between Dougher and me, then turns to leave. I look up, making eye contact with the camera in the corner of the room near the ceiling, the little red dot trained on me, recording my every move.

They'll later use the footage as evidence of my guilt; they'll tell people I bared myself open on the table, as raw and exposed as the smashed plastic and metal drone, now covered in dried blood in the plastic evidence bag, the camera above capturing my every thought and memory. 

My erratic behavior, the evidence bag, and a signed confession are all Dougher wants from me, though, so I relax; he's only got two out of three.

Ignoring his impatience, I smile wistfully. "That was when I began writing. I wrote and wrote and wrote. I took creative writing classes, I got a degree in English and Communications. But I kept getting rejection letters. Over and over again. And then one day," I lean forward, lowering my voice, pleased when Dougher mimics my posture, finally intrigued.

"Then one day, I was in Bridgton at a Walgreens, and who's up at the prescription counter but Stephen fucking King."

Dougher lifts his eyebrows, not getting it. Not understanding

I grunt. His ineptitude is exhausting. "Anyway, when he walked past me, I couldn't help it; I tried to talk to him and I was so awkward, stumbling over my words. But he was so kind and polite. I told him I was writing horror, like him, and that he was my inspiration. That I fell in love with writing because of him, but I just couldn't get published. And do you know what he said?"

"What did he say?"

"He said, 'Not everyone can be scary.' And then he smiled that stupid, toothy smile and left."

Finally, finally, understanding dawns, the doughy man’s cracked lips pressing together thoughtfully.

"And that hurt your feelings? You wanted revenge? That's why you flew—"

"No, of course it didn't hurt my feelings. It motivated me."

Dougher's pen stills on the yellow paper once more, glancing at me beneath his lashes. He's trying not to spook me or slow my momentous storytelling, but he also doesn’t want to admit he’s still confused.

"Look. I was his biggest fan. But his last few books," I lift my palm, bound as it was to the table, and made a 'so-so' gesture with my hand. "I think he just needed a little inspiration. It was kind of poignant, too, don't you think? Very Annie Wilkes of me." I smile proudly, but this idiot still looks confused. 

"Misery?" Still, nothing. "Kathy Bates?" 

Recognition passes his face, and I don't resist the eye-roll.

"That's the one about the woman who's obsessed with the author, and she kidnaps him and makes him rewrite the story, right?"

"Very good, Dougher, even if you did get that from the movie. But did you know that Misery was inspired by another short story of a similar premise?"

"I did not. So… you identify with this… Annie Wilkes character, then?"

I shrug. 

"Miss Clark… what I really want to know is… what happened when you arrived at Mr. King's Bangor home at 12:36 AM this morning?"

I glance back at the evidence bag, the broken drone, which I lost control of, and the smattering of blood on the plastic casing.

On the one hand, I could tell him the story of how it all went so sideways, not at all according to my plan. 

Or, I could tell him what actually transpired while adding narrative, a creation of my own making.

"Alright, Mr. Dougher. Here's the story of what happened last night when I arrived at Stephen King's mansion…"


Posted Sep 16, 2023
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170 likes 93 comments

Fiona Stanley
November 13, 2023 04:20

Congratulations on your win! I love this story and I want to hear what happened when your MC arrived at Stephen Kings mansion!

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Amanda Lieser
November 11, 2023 18:37

Hi Hazel!
Congratulations on the win!! It was well deserved because you got into the mind of your narrator so beautifully. You touched on hard feelings that all creative people have endured-rejection after rejection, failure after failure. And then to meet your idol! Oh my gosh, it’s a dream come true turned into a nightmare. I’m so many ways, she became scary, just the way he advised her. Nice work!!

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Hazel Ide
November 11, 2023 22:16

Hi Amanda, thank you so much! Yes, never meet your idols haha

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Elizabeth D.
October 16, 2023 19:26

This story is awesome! I love how the main character is so sassy and wants to tell her story. This story matches the prompt PERFECTLY! Bravo!

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Hazel Ide
October 18, 2023 19:50

Thank you so much!

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Ken Cartisano
October 16, 2023 00:38

Hazel Ide, eh? Your name matches your profile picture. What a coincidence.

I'm not a huge fan of Stephen what's his name again? (I'm kidding.) I used to make fun of him until I read a few of his short stories, his book on writing, and realized some of my favorite movies were based on his stories. Go figure.

My wife and I were passing through Bangor a couple of years ago and we did that thing that people do, we stopped and took a selfie in front of his gated residence. It's so accessible.

There's quite a bit of name-dropping, or--paying homage, or... referential reverence here, not all names rung a bell, I'm only familiar with a few of the gods. My favorite piece of this story is the fact that we don't really know what the MC did to Stephen King, (brilliant) but it was done with a drone, (brillianter), by accident, (brilliantest.)

I was just passing by your story on the way to someone else when the first few lines caught my eye. Trust me, it had nothing to do with the 93 likes. Nothing at all. This is a really excellent story, not for the story, but because of the way you wrote it.

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Hazel Ide
October 16, 2023 11:56

I’m embarrassed to say that I never actually made that connection (IDE/eyed) but my mind is blown now so thank you for that!
Name dropping aside, they are all great authors, actually ones I prefer over Mr King, but I’m not aware of any cool gothic mansions of theirs so he fit the bill for my story! Thank you for the read!

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Danielle Hall
October 15, 2023 06:39

I need more!! haha excellent

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Nix Apuzzo
October 14, 2023 14:03

Author jokes…the best, am I right? Haha, but actually, amazing job. You deserve the win. Fantastic!

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Hazel Ide
October 14, 2023 16:06

Thank you!

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James Jonathan
October 11, 2023 16:39

Congratulations on your well-deserved win! The story is incredibly captivating, and I absolutely adored the MC.

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Hazel Ide
October 11, 2023 20:12

Aw, thank you James!

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Typhus 1099
October 09, 2023 18:48

Wow! Very nicely done. You nailed the prompt and your writing flows very well.

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Hazel Ide
October 11, 2023 20:12

Thank you very much!!

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Zack Herman
October 07, 2023 19:20

I love it! It would make an excellent "dollar baby" for an aspiring filmmaker! :)

Well deserved win!

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Hazel Ide
October 11, 2023 20:13

Good call! Thank you Zack!

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Jack Nierling
October 06, 2023 14:31

I know the prompt is to leave the story open ended, but I couldn't help but think "That's it?! I want more!" when I got to the end. Fantastic work!

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Hazel Ide
October 11, 2023 20:13

Thank you Jack!

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Lakesha T
October 06, 2023 11:43

Very good, kept me interested and close to baited breath at the end. Suspense, I hate it but can't help but love it at the same time when dealing with a good story. Congratulations on this. It was very good and I look forward to finding out what she was up to that night. 😁

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Hazel Ide
October 11, 2023 20:13

I know exactly what you mean! Thank you Lakesha!

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Jfs Sevin
October 05, 2023 18:10

Everyone loves Steven King. great short story

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Hazel Ide
October 11, 2023 20:13

Thank you!

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Aliah Turner
October 05, 2023 00:24

This is for my Jrotc class! Donate today or buy popcorn! Please and thank you.

https://instaraise.com/tahlequahjrotc/popcorn/aliahturner?a=17

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Dhyan Modi
October 04, 2023 17:52

good story but a little long

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Sierra Pickering
October 04, 2023 17:42

This story immediately caught my attention from the first sentence! I loved it so much, no, love is an understatement. This story was fantastic and so captivating. I love her attitude, her stalling from what the officer wants. Although one question I have is was she stalling to bring out his annoyance? Or because she wanted to make sure he knew the entire story? Or was it because of both? Either way, this book was amazing!

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Hazel Ide
October 05, 2023 13:39

Hi Sierra, thank you so much for the read! Good question! I don’t think she was intentionally stalling. I think she’s arrogant and didn’t have any respect for the officer, much less his sense of urgency, but she did want him to hear her whole story, she just took her sweet time getting there. :)

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Calvin Kirby
October 03, 2023 15:35

Hazel. I loved the story. I love Stephen King and you brought that King vibe to your story. I belong to a senior's Literary shorts group on Maryland and would like to use your story as my entry on October 16th. We try to present information about the author to the group and if you could contact me at Ckirby59@comcast.net and furnish me with some bio data, you will be in company with Mark Twain, O'Henry, Poe, as well as authors who have submitted stories to ReedsyPrompts. Our group meets every Monday to discuss submitted stories. I will be so happy to present your story to this group. I await your email response. TIA, Cal Kirby

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Hazel Ide
October 05, 2023 13:37

Hi Cal, thanks very much, feel free to share the story!

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Calvin Kirby
October 13, 2023 01:39

Hazel, I am using your story Mpnday, Oct. 16. Of it is not too.late, could you provide a brief bio and your reason behind this particular story? Send to ckirby59@ comcast.net. Thanks. Cal Kirby

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Vera Kim
October 02, 2023 21:55

This was a great story with many great details. My favorite part personally was the ending which was a great cliff hanger. Great win well deserved.

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Hazel Ide
October 11, 2023 20:14

Thank you Kearnon!

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Story Time
October 02, 2023 19:54

I almost never want an author to write past what they've written, especially if the ending works, but I would gladly read so much more. What a great dive into such a distinct voice. Great job.

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Hazel Ide
October 11, 2023 20:14

Thanks Kevin, that's a really nice compliment that you wanted to keep reading :) Cheers!

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Philip Ebuluofor
October 02, 2023 07:33

Congrats. Read earlier and I am surprised I wasn't credited. Fine work.

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Chris Miller
October 01, 2023 21:08

Good stuff, Hazel. A well deserved win.

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Hazel Ide
October 02, 2023 02:50

Thank you Chris!

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Wally Schmidt
October 01, 2023 19:36

Loved both the literary journey and the captivating way your MC tries to explain her story to Officer Dolt. Congrats on the win!

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Hazel Ide
October 02, 2023 02:51

Thank you Wally!

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Jonathan Page
September 30, 2023 21:53

Great story! Very masterfully done. You give some great details with handcuffs digging into wrists, standing outside with bloody--(what is it?) and the childhood scene is one that brings everyone back to a time watching a scary movie in a storm as a kid, which with the Maine setting is great for the premise. All the literary references are great too. You only give a little bit of Miss Clark's writer journey but enough to tie everything together. Loved a few of the phrases and word choices like the descriptions of the frayed cushion edges on the "lumpy, plaid couch," the boy making "fewer stupid jokes," and the "inside-outside room." All-in-all a very enjoyable read. Congrats on the win! Can't wait for the next one.

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Hazel Ide
October 01, 2023 00:47

Thanks very much for the read, Jonathan!

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AnneMarie Miles
September 29, 2023 16:01

This was absolutely riveting! And a wonderful view of the MC's personality through their thoughtful commentary. Such a unique and creative premise, too. I can tell you had some literature to inspire you and you implemented it expertly! Congratulations on the win today! Well deserved 🎉🤩🤩

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Hazel Ide
September 29, 2023 16:19

Thank you so much AnneMarie!

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November 24, 2024 12:42

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