Let go?

I slammed the front door shut, the wood rattling hard against the frame. I didn't even bother kicking off my shoes. I just scrambled up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and bolted into my room. I turned the key in the lock until it clicked, then leaned my whole weight against the door, my heart hammering against my ribs.

Downstairs, Mum was yelling something from the kitchen. Her voice was sharp, but it sounded distant and muffled, like I was listening to her from the bottom of a swimming pool. I couldn't deal with it right now. I walked away from the door and dropped face-first onto my mattress.

After a second, I rolled over and just stared up at the ceiling. There was a long, jagged crack in the plaster right above my head. My chest was tight, and my breath was coming in short, shaky gasps that actually hurt. I reached over, grabbed my headphones off the pillow, and shoved them onto my ears. I cranked the volume up until the sound distorted.

My favourite song blasted through the speakers, the heavy bass instantly wiping out the rest of the world. I closed my eyes tight, trying to block out the room, the house, everything. Finally, the knot in my stomach started to loosen. In... and out. I just focused on the music.

School was absolute shit. I could still see the guys in the hallway laughing, whispering just loud enough for me to hear. “Look at him.” “He’s still talking to himself.” “Why does he even try?” They told me to give it a rest. They told me to stop trying. But they don't know anything. They’ve given up on everything, but I won’t. Lucie promised me we would always be together, and she didn't lie.

Lately, everyone had been dropping annoying hints about therapy. Mum had even left a brochure on the kitchen counter this morning, like she was trying to be sneaky. They all thought I was losing it. But she is alive. I am not hallucinating. I know what I feel. Even right now, under the loud music, I could hear her voice clear as day in my ear, keeping me grounded and telling me to keep moving forward.

I sighed, ripped the headphones off, and tossed them back onto the pillow. The sudden silence in the room made my ears ring. I lay on my side, my thoughts starting to spiral back into the same old dark loop.

Three years. It had been three whole years since that day. It was just a normal, happy afternoon, but the details were a total blur now. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember what we were doing right before it happened. But I remembered her words perfectly. She had looked at me and said we would always go to that exact spot whenever we were worried, stressed, or messed up. She promised she’d protect me, and that her strength would be mine.

Then: a flash. Just a blinding white light that cut the memory short. In a split second, she was gone. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a freezing hospital room that reeked of bleach and metal, listening to a heart monitor beep.

I sat up on the bed, a wave of pure frustration hitting me. I was angry at myself for forgetting, and angry at the world for just moving on without her. Why couldn't I just remember the place? I needed to find it. I needed to bring her back into my world. Every single day I tried to force the memory out, looking for the one clue that would unlock it.

Suddenly, a weird wave of pressure hit my chest. The air in my bedroom went freezing cold, and my breath turned into a little cloud of mist. My eyes blurred, the edges of the room warping like a piece of film catching fire. Then, the walls just evaporated.

A blast of warm summer wind hit my face, smelling exactly like wild jasmine. The heavy, suffocating weight on my chest vanished, and my head suddenly felt completely clear.

I gasped, my eyes flying open. The ceiling was gone. Instead, there was just a massive, bright azure sky. I was sitting in the middle of a huge field of green clover and tall wheat, waving in the breeze as far as I could see.

"You always did overthink things when you got mad," a soft voice said from behind me.

My heart stopped. A massive spike of hope hit me, and I spun around in the grass.

"Lucie!"

A shaky sob caught in my throat. She was standing right there, the sun hitting her face, smiling the exact way she used to. I threw myself forward, reaching out to grab her into a massive hug.

But my hands went straight through her. There was nothing to hold. No solid weight, no clothes under my fingers. I didn't feel anything except a light, warm tingling on my skin, like holding your hand near a hot lightbulb.

I stumbled back, panicking. "No... please. You're here. You're really here."

"Leo, look around," Lucie said quietly. Her voice didn't just come from the air; it felt like it was inside my own head. For a split second, her image flickered, and I could see a faint shadow of my bedroom wall showing through the grass beneath her feet.

"Look at the sky. You know what this place is," she said, looking at me with total kindness. "This is your own strength."

"It's our place," I whispered, tears finally running down my face. "You promised you'd protect me."

"I am protecting you," she said, her voice echoing softly like a song I knew by heart. "But I'm doing it by being the spark in your head. Your mind made this place because you're finally ready to be okay, Leo. You don't need to carry the weight of me being gone anymore. You have your whole life ahead of you.”

"I don't want to leave you behind," I said, my knees shaking as I dropped into the dirt. I was terrified of letting go. "If I accept that you're gone... how am I supposed to move on?"

"You aren't leaving me behind, Leo. You're taking me with you," she whispered, a huge smile breaking across her face. As she spoke, a deep, solid warmth spread through my chest, completely melting the cold grief I’d been carrying for three years.

"I'm at peace," she said. "But you're supposed to be alive. Stop looking for me in the past. Take my promise, take my love, and go build something good with it. You need to let go of my hand now, Leo. You need to breathe."

I looked up at her, the wind blowing her hair, and the anger inside me finally just disappeared. It was replaced by a quiet, calm understanding.

"I'm ready," I whispered.

"I know you are," she smiled.

Her edges began to soften, breaking apart into a warm, golden mist that caught the sunlight. "Go live. For both of us."

With a sound like rushing wind, the field shattered. The blue sky, the wheat, and the smell of jasmine broke into pieces. But the golden light didn't feel like it was disappearing—it felt like it sank right into my skin, straight into my heart.

The smell of summer faded, and the quiet reality of my bedroom came back. I blinked a few times, wiping my eyes, and found myself staring up at the dark shadows on my ceiling.

I was still lying on my bed. My headphones were right there next to my pillow, exactly where I’d left them. Downstairs, the shouting had completely stopped. Instead, I heard a familiar, normal sound: the clinking of plates as Mum set the table for dinner.

I lay completely still, listening to the quiet house. I took a deep, clear breath, and my chest didn't feel tight at all. The voice in my ear was gone. The room was totally silent. But for the first time in three years, I didn't feel broken. I felt whole.

I slammed the front door shut, the wood rattling hard against the frame. I didn't even bother kicking off my shoes. I just scrambled up the stairs, taking them two at a time, and bolted into my room. I turned the key in the lock until it clicked, then leaned my whole weight against the door, my heart hammering against my ribs.

Downstairs, Mum was yelling something from the kitchen. Her voice was sharp, but it sounded distant and muffled, like I was listening to her from the bottom of a swimming pool. I couldn't deal with it right now. I walked away from the door and dropped face-first onto my mattress.

After a second, I rolled over and just stared up at the ceiling. There was a long, jagged crack in the plaster right above my head. My chest was tight, and my breath was coming in short, shaky gasps that actually hurt. I reached over, grabbed my headphones off the pillow, and shoved them onto my ears. I cranked the volume up until the sound distorted.

My favourite song blasted through the speakers, the heavy bass instantly wiping out the rest of the world. I closed my eyes tight, trying to block out the room, the house, everything. Finally, the knot in my stomach started to loosen. In... and out. I just focused on the music.

School had been absolute garbage today. I could still see the guys in the hallway laughing, whispering just loud enough for me to hear. “Look at him.” “He’s still talking to himself.” “Why does he even try?” They told me to give it a rest. They told me to stop trying. But they don't know anything. They’ve given up on everything, but I won’t. Lucie promised me we would always be together, and she didn't lie.

Lately, everyone had been dropping annoying hints about therapy. Mum had even left a brochure on the kitchen counter this morning, like she was trying to be sneaky. They all thought I was losing it. But she is alive. I am not hallucinating. I know what I feel. Even right now, under the loud music, I could hear her voice clear as day in my ear, keeping me grounded and telling me to keep moving forward.

I sighed, ripped the headphones off, and tossed them back onto the pillow. The sudden silence in the room made my ears ring. I lay on my side, my thoughts starting to spiral back into the same old dark loop.

Three years. It had been three whole years since that day. It was just a normal, happy afternoon, but the details were a total blur now. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember what we were doing right before it happened. But I remembered her words perfectly. She had looked at me and said we would always go to that exact spot whenever we were worried, stressed, or messed up. She promised she’d protect me, and that her strength would be mine.

Then: a flash. Just a blinding white light that cut the memory short. In a split second, she was gone. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a freezing hospital room that reeked of bleach and metal, listening to a heart monitor beep.

I sat up on the bed, a wave of pure frustration hitting me. I was angry at myself for forgetting, and angry at the world for just moving on without her. Why couldn't I just remember the place? I needed to find it. I needed to bring her back into my world. Every single day I tried to force the memory out, looking for the one clue that would unlock it.

Suddenly, a weird wave of pressure hit my chest. The air in my bedroom went freezing cold, and my breath turned into a little cloud of mist. My eyes blurred, the edges of the room warping like a piece of film catching fire. Then, the walls just evaporated.

A blast of warm summer wind hit my face, smelling exactly like wild jasmine. The heavy, suffocating weight on my chest vanished, and my head suddenly felt completely clear.

I gasped, my eyes flying open. The ceiling was gone. Instead, there was just a massive, bright blue sky. I was sitting in the middle of a huge field of green clover and tall wheat, waving in the breeze as far as I could see.

"You always did overthink things when you got mad," a soft voice said from behind me.

My heart stopped. A massive spike of hope hit me, and I spun around in the grass.

"Lucie!"

A shaky sob caught in my throat. She was standing right there, the sun hitting her face, smiling the exact way she used to. I threw myself forward, reaching out to grab her into a massive hug.

But my hands went straight through her. There was nothing to hold. No solid weight, no clothes under my fingers. I didn't feel anything except a light, warm tingling on my skin, like holding your hand near a hot lightbulb.

I stumbled back, panicking. "No... please. You're here. You're really here."

"Leo, look around," Lucie said quietly. Her voice didn't just come from the air; it felt like it was inside my own head. For a split second, her image flickered, and I could see a faint shadow of my bedroom wall showing through the grass beneath her feet.

"Look at the sky. You know what this place is," she said, looking at me with total kindness. "This is your own strength."

"It's our place," I whispered, tears finally running down my face. "You promised you'd protect me."

"I am protecting you," she said, her voice echoing softly like a song I knew by heart. "But I'm doing it by being the spark in your head. Your mind made this place because you're finally ready to be okay, Leo. You don't need to carry the weight of me being gone anymore. You have your whole life ahead of you.”

"I don't want to leave you behind," I said, my knees shaking as I dropped into the dirt. I was terrified of letting go. "If I accept that you're gone... how am I supposed to move on?"

"You aren't leaving me behind, Leo. You're taking me with you," she whispered, a huge smile breaking across her face. As she spoke, a deep, solid warmth spread through my chest, completely melting the cold grief I’d been carrying for three years.

"I'm at peace," she said. "But you're supposed to be alive. Stop looking for me in the past. Take my promise, take my love, and go build something good with it. You need to let go of my hand now, Leo. You need to breathe."

I looked up at her, the wind blowing her hair, and the anger inside me finally just disappeared. It was replaced by a quiet, calm understanding.

"I'm ready," I whispered.

"I know you are," she smiled.

Her edges began to soften, breaking apart into a warm, golden mist that caught the sunlight. "Go live. For both of us."

With a sound like rushing wind, the field shattered. The blue sky, the wheat, and the smell of jasmine broke into pieces. But the golden light didn't feel like it was disappearing—it felt like it sank right into my skin, straight into my heart.

The smell of summer faded, and the quiet reality of my bedroom came back. I blinked a few times, wiping my eyes, and found myself staring up at the dark shadows on my ceiling.

I was still lying on my bed. My headphones were right there next to my pillow, exactly where I’d left them. Downstairs, the shouting had completely stopped. Instead, I heard a familiar, normal sound: the clinking of plates as Mum set the table for dinner.

I lay completely still, listening to the quiet house. I took a deep, clear breath, and my chest didn't feel tight at all. The voice in my ear was gone. The room was totally silent. But for the first time in three years, I didn't feel broken. I felt whole.