Friends Don't Stick Friends In Prison

What happens when a Talmarian ship gets caught with its ladder down? Fifteen years of hiding inside a chameleon shield, and a whole lot of game nights. Not to mention a few unwanted sacrifices.

"And this is where we keep the sacrifices." Captain Cleeber pointed to a large reality room. "They believe they're in heaven, well, what they believe to be heaven. We based the program on local lore and sacred texts."

I have to hand it to Captain Cleeber. He's done the best he could under the circumstances. His mission to study the pre-industrial culture turned disastrous when his sociologists messed up and led the locals to their ship. They made it up the ladder before the locals spotted them, but not in time to pull it up. Cleeber immediately activated the ship's chameleon shield, disguising the ship as a storm cloud. However, because of their laws governing first contact, they could not touch the ladder until they knew no one was looking.

Unfortunately, the locals never left and quickly transformed the spot into their most holy site, guarded day and night by priests, leaving the Talmarians no chance to retrieve their ladder.

And to make things worse. The locals kept sending a sacrifice up the ladder every year, and more often during droughts or floods.

"So, do you plan on keeping me here also?" I asked.

Cleeber stroked his eyebrow, "I hate to admit this, but I've been ignoring the issue. The truth is, I really don't know what to do."

I'm used to Alora. She always knows what to do, so Cleeber's incompetence surprised me. "You can't keep me here."

Cleeber stroked his eyebrow again. "I know. I know. But I don't know how to get you down without being seen. Do you have any ideas?"

The question struck me. Alora occasionally asked me a question, but I knew she already had the answer and was only trying to make me feel like I was the leader. Cleeber really doesn't know what to do. I don't like him treating me like a real leader.

"Alora would know. I'm supposed to be the captain, but she's the real brains of our operation. Too bad she couldn't have been the sacrifice. You guys would probably be halfway home by now."

"Yes, but Bob wouldn't budge on that point. I also wanted Alora, but he insisted the Ladder God," Cleeber made air quotes, "won't accept female sacrifices."

"Wait! You've spoken to Bob?"

"One of my sociologists dropped a telecom, and Bob found it."

Bob and I have a fairly close relationship, but he never told me about the telecom or that he talked with Cleeber.

Cleeber continued, "He began using it, and I thought I could convince him to abandon the ladder site, but instead, I accidentally made him believe I was a god. I changed his name to Bob, because I couldn't pronounce his real name, and have been directing him to help you win the Pick-a-Sacrifice tournament." Cleeber appeared apologetic, "I do hope this doesn't put a damper on our relationship?"

It explains so much. I never wanted to win, but miraculously, I kept winning. Bob orchestrated the whole thing. And Cleeber orchestrated Bob's orchestrations.

"We haven't started on the best foot, but if you let me go, that would be a huge boost to our friendship."

"I can't. As I've already said, the locals will see you."

I went from shipwrecked to imprisoned. "Okay, now that's going to put a damper on our relationship."

Cleeber cringed, "I don't want to, but our laws prohibit any of us from revealing ourselves, and you don't want to break one of our laws. The consequences are horrendous."

I get it. My company has similar rules, though with less severe consequences. Cleeber is truly terrified.

We stood outside the reality room, not knowing what to say.

"Would you like to complete your tour of the ship?" Cleeber asked.

I shrugged. I had nothing else to do. Cleeber showed me the engine room, bridge, quarters, and shops. Finally, stopping at a bar, where we swapped stories, trying to outdo each other. Honestly, I liked Cleeber, and if he hadn't just imprisoned me, I'd even consider him a friend.

The entire time we toured the ship, I kept thinking of a way to get back to Alora. I told myself it's because I needed her smarts, but I knew that wasn't the only reason.

"You really want to get back, don't you?" Cleeber asked. He must have noticed me thinking of Alora.

"Now you sound like Bob, always stating the obvious." Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. "Bob!"

"What about Bob?"

"Bob thinks I'm a god just like you. If he believes I'm a god, then I can return without Bob suspecting I'm an advanced alien race. Gods can return from heaven anytime they want."

"You're on to something," Cleeber said. "The details are hazy, but I like where you're going."

"I'll call him on the telecom, telling him that I need to return, but secretly. Bob is the shaman. He can convince the priests to take a break so I can return unseen. Well, except for Bob, but he doesn't count."

"I like it. I like it a lot," Cleeber said. "I wish I could go with you, but two gods might be too much for Bob to handle." He handed me his telecom. "Bob should be in his room meditating."

I nodded and called. "Hey, Bob. This is Drew Williams. Do you hear me?"

"Drew! Yes. Yes. I hear you. See, I told you that you were a god. Only a god could pronounce my name."

"Okay, you got me. But I need you to do me a huge favor."

"Before you go any further, I've got to tell you what happened. The Elite Guard took Alora. Somehow, they learned that you had sacrificed yourself and that Alora had accompanied you. They laid a trap for her on our way back to the temple. I'm so sorry. The secular is outside my jurisdiction. There's nothing I can do."

The news hit me like a laser to the gut. I needed Bob's help now more than ever. "I'm returning, but I don't want anyone to see me." Bob agreed to dismiss the priests and sneak me back into the temple. Just what I'm supposed to do next is as clear as chocolate pudding. Alora is the planner. I'm a bumbling idiot.

Cleeber gave me a telecom and offered to help in any way he could, as long as it won't break the law. "I'm your friend, but unfortunately, with one arm tied behind my back."

I told him I understand, and that I guess a friend with one arm is better than no friend at all. We shook hands, and I descended the ladder, determined to rescue Alora.

It's a shame I'm not a god. It would make the whole thing much easier. But at least I have Bob and Cleeber, well, half a Cleeber. I just hope we're enough.