Blind Spot

Ari noticed everything, except that he was standing in the rain.

On a typical day, he could spot a stain on your t-shirt and know what you had for dinner. Hairstyles, glances, gestures, these were all datapoints that Ari logged away for future use. So, it was very peculiar that he didn’t realize it was raining until some clever passerby cracked a joke as he passed.

“You know, there’s better ways to wash your clothes.”

This broke Ari out of his 10 minute stupor long enough to realize that he was drenched, and that it was—in fact—raining. Hard. Pouring, one might say. The weatherman had even warned of an oncoming storm. “Flash-floods likely. Plan for a night in.”

Ari had done just that. Planned for a long night in a cozy condo overlooking the ocean with the lovely Lillian. The gods could not have designed a more perfect woman than she. Long legs, a piercing gaze, and a rapier wit that left Ari speechless. No one but Lillian could leave Ari speechless.

The evening was meant to be one of high romance. Candles and puttanesca. Chopin and Pinot Noir. Ari and Lillian were titans in their respective industries. She was an attorney. He worked for the CIA. Each a perfectionist, so even a casual night in had to be just right.

So where did it go wrong?

Somewhere just before dessert. Everything else had gone so well. Cooking, playful banter, kisses along the neck, a few glasses of wine. Lillian sauntered off to fetch another bottle of Pinot, leaving Ari alone with his thoughts.

That was when it hit him. The moment she disappeared from sight, Ari realized that he loved her. He could no longer imagine a life without her. He didn’t date women as a rule. Too many complications for his line of work, and by the second date he usually knew more about them than they knew about themselves.

But Lillian remained a delightful mystery to him. She kept her emotions guarded. Always surprised him with her insight. He didn’t intend to ask her out a second time, but he did. That was four months ago.

Ari found himself adoring every part of Lillian with each passing day. Even her imperfections. She loved karaoke but couldn’t hold a tune, and her nightstand was filled with a secret stash of candy bars. These inconsistencies in character would usually be a red flag for him. “She’s not as polished as she appears to be. She lacks impulse control.” But instead he saw only a woman who knew what she loved, and knew how to allow herself that joy once in a while.

It was a lesson he could learn himself.

When she returned, he felt the corners of his mouth turn up too far. His eyes lingered on her too long. Even as she sat back down, she asked him, “What is it?”

Ari shook his head. “Nothing, I just missed you.” He winked. A catty response. He didn’t really mean it, right?

She laughed, and the sound lifted him into the aether. It disarmed him, and he allowed it to. Releasing all of the locks and chains from his heart, he drew her hand into his and kissed it.

And then there was a pause. What might have been a cue to go farther instead dissolved into nothing. Lillian pulled back her hand and stood. “Did you want some dessert?”

“Of course,” Ari said and followed her to the kitchen. Four barstools lined a granite bar, and he sat and watched as she pulled a lemon tart from the fridge.

Lillian cut up two triangles, placed them on two plates, and slid his plate across the granite. Ari was too lost to notice her downcast eyes. Too infatuated to see her careful diligence in cutting the slices. The precise lawyer had slowly learned to let down her guard around him, but suddenly the armor was back. And he hadn’t noticed.

She cut into the tart. She picked up a piece and stared at it for two seconds. Then she put it down and said, “We need to end this.”

“What?”

“This relationship.”

“What?”

“We’ve seen things to their natural conclusion.”

A freight truck blindsided Ari, and he was speechless but for the word, “What?”

“Ari,” Lillian said, setting her fork down. “Listen, it’s been fun. We both knew what this was when we started, but I can’t be held down by a long term relationship and I know you don’t want to be.”

“I don’t?”

“Let’s end things cordially. I’ll get your coat.”

Lillian approached the closet and returned with his tailored cashmere long coat. Her demeanor had turned off like a light switch. She’d become a woman he’d never seen before. Even on the first night Ari met her, she was intoxicated, giggling with two friends at the bar. They’d been staring at him throughout the night. He knew one of them—had slept with her on occasion. When he approached the trio, it was to reignite a single night of passion with the fling, not Lillian.

Ari took his coat and put it on. “Did your friends say something about me?”

“Why? Is there anything to tell?”

Ari only shrugged, “I don’t know, Lil. I have to admit, I don’t know where this is coming from. I thought this was more than just a hookup.”

“It was more than a hookup,” Lillian said. “Just not much more.”

A knife to the heart. He was bleeding out on the living room floor. An assassin had been under his nose this whole time, and he never suspected a thing. He buttoned up his coat and found his way to the front door, the world fading around him. Ari was dying inside, but all he could do was open the door, turn and say, “I love you.”

“Goodbye, Ari.”

The rain soaked him to the bones. Twenty minutes on the sidewalk, staring up at her window five stories up. He stood, motionless, but inside his mind was racing. Sorting through every interaction, from the moment their eyes met to the last. He had every intention of bedding her friend, but she pursued him with fervor. A polished, professional who longed for danger in lust.

But it was little more than a vacation for her. She could let her hair down around him. Late nights in dive bars, skinny dipping in the ocean, a weekend trip to Las Vegas. She outread him and outplayed him. She knew what she could get, drank her fill, and threw out what remained.

Her light turned out. A final nail in Ari’s heart.

He finally turned to walk the half a block to his car. He got in and turned on the ignition, eye scanning the street. Old gears began to turn in his head, taking in the cars and pedestrians passing by in rain jackets. He instinctively looked for escape routes and places to hide.

Ari was usually a perceptive man. He had let his guard down this one time, but he made a vow to himself as he pulled away from the condominiums.

Never again.