unraveling us

Ella

I pulled up to the downtown bar and stepped out, checking my hair in the side view mirror.

My high heels clicked on the gravelly asphalt and I could already feel myself stumbling. Tate and I had planned to come here together, but she ended up getting a ride from Michael, our friend. I just knew that they were hooking up, though. Tate wasn’t secretive at all.

Thoughts poured in my head, slowly evaporating as I opened the double doors into the bar. I saw Tate and Michael standing there, next to Silas.

Silas was looking good. His brown hair was really pretty.

“Hey, guys!” I called, adjusting the straps on my dress. Tate cheered and waved to me, and Michael nodded at me. Silas just smiled. His dark brown eyes shone in the dim light and his tousled hair spiked up as if he had just run his hands through it.

I made my way over to the table, put my stuff down, and glanced at Silas. I could feel Tate’s judging eyes on me as I walked over to the bar, already knowing what I wanted. I got it every time I came here, anyways.

“Here, let me come with you,” Silas said, surprising me. His breath was hot on the back of my neck, and I shivered.

“Okay, but I can get it,” I replied, smiling at him. His eyes danced over my face as he smiled back.

God, that smile.

I could drown in his eyes and my boat would be his smile.

The bartender, an older man wearing a flannel shirt rolled up to his elbows, looked at me and asked what we would like.

“Four shots of tequila, please,” I told him, teetering from side to side. Anything to be active these days.

“Wow, Ella, didn’t know you had that in you,” Silas teased as Tate and Michael started slowly walking towards us. Their arms were linked, and Tate was doubled over in laughter.

“Never underestimate me, Si,” I laughed, feeling my cheeks getting warm. I thanked bars for being dimly lit, or Silas would be interrogating me forever at the hot blush creeping up my face.

“I would never, but you surprise me all the time, Ella,” he murmured, leaning down so that his lips were brushing against my ears.

“How so?” I asked, hating how breathy my voice sounded.

“For starters, how you manage to get more beautiful every day, time and time again. It’s like, every time I see you, you’re just more beautiful.”

“Okay, how many shots have you had tonight?”

“None. I mean that, Ella.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes, why don’t you believe me?”

“Well, you’re kinda cocky, and you’ve been pretty much an isolated, lonely ass-face for a while.”

“Damn, okay,” Silas grinned, and then the old bartender came to us with the shot glasses.

“I got it,” I said to him, pulling out my ID and credit card from my tiny wallet I kept on the back of my phone.

Tate and Michael finally joined us, and we lifted the glasses.

“What should we toast to?” Michael asked, glancing at Tate.

“I dunno,” she said, looking between me and Silas.

“Do we really have to toast every single time we try to take a shot?” Silas groaned like a toddler. Michael threw his head back in laughter and Tate shook her head, trying to hold back her giggles.

“Nope,” I announced, throwing my head back and pouring the orange tinted liquid down my throat, the burning sensation calming all my senses.

Michael and Tate soon disappeared, deep in conversation with their heads centimeters apart. I looked away when Tate leaned in, letting them have their moment.

Silas glanced over at me, his dark skin glowing. He grinned at me.

He handed me his beer and I took a long sip, not putting the bottle down for a while.

A sudden shiver ran down my back, my arms and legs becoming covered in goosebumps. Silas looked me up and down, and then his eyes met mine. I swallowed and giggled a little.

“Are you cold, Ella?” he asked me, beginning to take off his grey sweater.

God, the way he said my name. It entranced me. I was a little kid in Neverland whenever he said my name.

But this was real.

“Oh, thanks, Si,” I smiled at him and then slipped the sweater over my head.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” he asked me. I’d been waiting, Silas. I’d been waiting for a long time.

***

Silas

Her friend, Tate, ran up and snaked her arm around her waist before she could answer. I sucked in a breath and then ordered a John Adams.

“Sorry, Si,” she called to me as she and Tate walked by us. I guess they weren’t doing good.

“All good, Ella,” I called back. Michael came up to me, his eyes drooping, and stumbled into my arms. I held him and pushed him back.

“What the hell, man?” I said as he stood up, using my arms to balance himself.

“Sorry,” he said, his words slurred, “me n’ Tate were talking,” he started to fall down, and I almost wanted to let him fall.

“About what?” I asked him, taking a big gulp of the beer.

“Nothing in particular, we just were…” his eyes started to water and then he started to shake.

“Dude, you need to go home. I haven’t drunk much, or do you want an Uber?”

“I don’t wanna go home, I wanna stay and talk to Tate,”

I sighed and then called an Uber for him.

Tate and Ella started walking towards me, murmuring with each other.

“We’re ready to go,” Tate said, sounding pissed. “Okay,” I said, twirling my keys around my fingers.

Tate walked outside angrily, her stilettos clicking. Ella stayed back with me, swaying back and forth a little.

“Shit,” I muttered, remembering that Michael was still in the bar, brainlessly walking around like he was the worst person in the world for whatever he did.

“What’s up?” Ella asked, tilting her head.

God, when she did that.

“Nothing, but Michael’s still in there and his Uber is here,” I said, motioning to the Toyota Camry that was sitting, headlights on, in the parking light. The driver looked done with everything, and I didn’t blame him.

“Oh, crap, well, do you want me to go in with you or…” she said, looking at me and back at the bar.

“Yeah, sure, sorry.”

“You’re good, Si.”

“Hey, also, this is really off topic, but you look really pretty tonight. Well, you’ve always looked really pretty.”

“Thanks, Si, you look really nice all the time too,”

My cheeks flushed with pink and hers did too. She grinned, and slid her hand into mine as we walked back into the bar. Her fingers were intertwined in mine and in that moment I couldn’t think of anywhere I’d rather be.

***

Ella

Oh my actual God, had Silas really just called me pretty?

Okay, surely he’d been drinking. But he was driving me and Tate home, so.

My knees felt weak as he opened the double doors for the bar, calling Michael’s name. Michael came over, tear stains all over his face. I grimaced and then felt a shiver, even with Silas’ jacket on when he let go of my hand.

“Michael, what are you doing? C’mon, your Uber is here,” Silas practically yelled at him.

“I don’t wanna go, I wanna talk to Tate. Please?” Michael begged, his voice breaking.

Si glanced at me, and I shrugged.

“Tate’s outside, Michael,” he said, and Michael sniffed and followed us out of the door. Silas held my hand again, and butterflies swarmed in my stomach.

“I’ll bet you twenty that they’re gonna end the night in one of the other’s bed,” Silas said, grinning.

“For real,” I replied, fixated on his lips. The freckles on his nose looked like holes on his face in the glow of the night.

Tate and Michael got heated for a few minutes, then they were all over each other, mouths slamming into each other.

“Ew, let’s get out of here,” Silas exclaimed, wrapping his arms around my neck in an embrace. I swear my heart stopped.

I could hear Tate’s high pitched laugh, well, it was more of a cackle, from all the way across the parking lot. Her bright phone light illuminated her face and I felt my phone buzz in my purse from her a message.

I’m going home with Michael. You good to get home?

I rolled my eyes at the message, and then showed it to Si. He laughed and then held out his hand for the twenty dollars I supposedly owed him. I drew a heart on it with my fingers instead.

“Can I drive you home, Ella?” he asked.

“I drove here…” I replied, and his brows furrowed.

“If only Tate and Michael weren’t obsessed with each other…”

“Whatever, you can just pick up my car in the morning.” I said with a smile. He grinned. His eyes darted from mine to my lips, quickly and almost in secrecy.

“You’re cruel, Ella, too cruel,” he murmured under his breath, and then he wrapped his arms around my waist. I cupped his face in my hands.

The next moment, we were just as obsessed as Tate and Michael are.

I woke up in my bed, with Silas by my side. I can only remember what happened. He was shirtless, and I traced his collar bone with my fingertips. He smiled sleepily and then his eyes fluttered open.

“Good morning, Ella. You look really beautiful.”

***

Silas

I had fallen asleep in Ella’s bed. Was this a dream? Surely I got a little too drunk and was living in a fantasy. Ella’s quick kiss on my neck said otherwise. I never left.

I saw my sweater draped over a chair in the corner of her room, and I smiled. It wasn’t mine anymore. It was ours.

~

Days passed, weeks passed, and eventually we had been together for two months.

Tonight, we were going to that fateful bar with Tate and Michael for a double date thing. I thought it was a little corny, but Ella loved it, so I said ‘what the heck’ and moved on. The grey sweater that I gave Ella that night was peeking out of the closet, and I could see a button on the floor. I decided to fix it later.

I walked into the bathroom and saw Ella curling her hair. I slipped behind her and trailed kisses down her neck, making her fold a little. I still had that effect on her.

“Hey, handsome,” she said, looking at me from the mirror. She put the curling iron down and then ran her hands down my chest, making me lose a little breath. She still had that effect on me.

“Hey,” I said, beaming. She gave me a quick peck, and then looked up at me, her eyes twinkling.

“I like that shirt,” she said, pointing to the blue collar on my shirt. I wore it with my black jeans to match her.

“I love that dress,” I replied, pointing to the middle of her chest, her satin blue dress shining in the dim lit bathroom.

She thanked me and then I grabbed my toothbrush, putting on a glob of toothpaste and brushing my teeth. As I was spitting out the toothpaste, my elbow bumped into her side. Her arm jerked in a weird way and the curling iron hit her neck.

“Fuck!” she screamed in pain. “Oh my God, shit, I’m sorry, Ella, here,” I panicked, putting my fingers to her burn. As soon as she began to wail, I knew I had done something wrong. I immediately took my fingers off of her neck and she bolted out of the bathroom, sobbing. I stood there, shaking, lips quivering.

Man up, Silas.

***

Ella

The burn on the side of my neck hurt like hell, but not as bad as what Silas did afterwards.

I was seething, the tip of my ears were getting warm, and tears burned in my throat. I gasped for air, trying to get a breath in. The walls were getting smaller.

“Si!” I called, gasping again. I gripped my chest and then slid down the cabinet, tears flowing like a waterfall.

“Silas!” I cried again, like a helpless animal. I was furious at how vulnerable I looked. I clicked my tongue and pressed my fingers together but nothing was working.

If anybody’s ever recorded what death feels like, let me know so I can give some feedback.

Silas ran in, concern painted on his face like a mural. My lips attempted to rise in a smile but I couldn’t do it.

I just couldn’t do it.

“Ella, what’s going on?” he stammered, bending down in front of me.

I don’t know what happened, but every ounce in my body was just furious.

I stood up, and then started going off like a pot that was over boiling.

Silas just stood there as I hurt every aspect of him that he’s every told me about. His shoulders sank and his mouth stayed in a straight line. His eyes got duller and duller as I kept going.

My words started slurring and then it felt some sort of sledge hammer was being slowly pushed into the back of my head. My neck burned, and my heart slowed.

“I-” I started, but Silas was already walking away.

“Silas, stop it! I didn’t mean any of it, I promise! I was having a panic attack and, and, I just didn’t know what to do! I’m sorry, Silas, please come back!” I didn’t bother running after him. He grabbed his grey sweater out of the clothes closet and I noticed a string was loose. My breathing slowed and my hands shook like hell.

I just lost the best thing in my life.

Tears slowly dripped from my face and I wiped my nose. I grabbed my keys, high heels leading me to hell, and I opened the door. The crisp Autumn air whooshed past me, making me shiver.

The whole night came back again, and I fell over as I was walking towards my car. The soft grass of our front yard cushioned my face, and I could feel my knees slowly losing flesh.

I got up, and I felt like all of me was being broken into a million little pieces.

I had ruined everything.

Everything was gone.

It was all gone.

I yanked open the car door and then started it, pressing on the gas. I sped to the intersection of my nightmares, where a cop was slowly trailing me. I glared at it in the side view mirror and then my chest started to heave. I barely made it to the bar, where I saw Michael’s car parked in front.

I ran in, nearly tripping on the gravelly asphalt.

I shoved open the double doors and then saw Tate and Michael at the bar, ordering drinks. I stumbled over to Tate and stopped right behind them. She turned to crack her back, and she stopped when she saw me. Her face fell.

“Holy shit, Ella, you don’t look good,” Michael said, chuckling.

“Asshole,” Tate jeered, pushing him aside.

“Seriously, what’s wrong, Ella?” Tate’s brow furrowed and she grabbed my arms to help steady me. I shook my head, not being able to bear to repeat what I said, and shuffled away from her to the bar. The girl working didn’t bat an eye at my face, which was covered in blotches of red and chunks of mascara.

“Three shorts of vodka, please,” I whispered, and it sounded like a death wish. I didn’t want those to be my last words.

How terrible would it look to have ‘three shots of vodka, please’ on my tombstone? I hit myself in the head to blur from the thought, and then she nodded. A couple seconds later, she came back with the three tiny glasses. I felt tears dripping down my neck and onto my blue satin dress that Silas was matching with.

Shit.

Where was Silas? God, what a stupid idiot I was to just leave without knowing where he was. I fished for my phone, rubbing at my side, where my purse should have been, but nothing was there.

I grabbed all the shots with a grim face and downed them all, the burning in my throat matching that of my neck.

She asked if I wanted more. I nodded quickly and then started to fret. I didn’t bring money of any kind, and I don’t know where Tate and Michael went. She came back with some more glasses, I drank them all.

“Keep ‘em coming,” I murmured, my voice raspy.

I scanned the bar for anyone I knew.

Nobody.

My heart and head ached and I couldn’t even hardly move. I threw my head back and let out a low groan, which turned into some sort of a scream. The girl came back with more glasses and then looked a me with a puzzled expression.

“Hey, are you safe, miss? Do you need a driver?” she asked. I shook my head, saying something about how Silas would come and get me because he always does.

After twelve more shots, I ran down the road to the gas station and dialed Silas’ number on the phone, throwing up on the ground a few times.

It rang a few times, then he picked up.

“Hello? Silas here.”

“Thank God, Silas, it’s Ella, please help me-”

“Ella. Stop. I can’t get you out of every mess you make now.”

He hung up and I slid down the phone poll, putting my head in my hands.

Everything was gone.

It's all gone.

Suddenly, the phone began to ring again.