25:00

25:00 MT

There’s no such thing and you’re an idiot. There’s no thirteenth month. Hell, there’s not even a 24th hour; after 23:59:59, it goes back to 0:00:00 am, technically in Military Time there’s no am or pm since it’s superfluous. Months, days, hours, minutes, seconds, military, American. Like not 30/4/97 but 4/30/97, understand? Got this through your fucking head. You can say you’ll have it done in 25 hours, but not at 25 o’clock. Maybe that’s where you got confused, you’re a noncommissioned officer, right? Figures. Fresh out of basic. That explains a lot. There ain’t no goddamn 25 o’clock. You can’t get nothing done at no fucking 25 o’clock since there ain’t no such thing. Breakfast is 5:00, lunch at noon, dinner 17:00, understand, soldier?

There ain’t no 17:00 am. Am stands for ante meridiem meaning before noon and pm stands for post meridiem which means after midday It don’t stand for nothing and doesn’t matter. What? Fine, it’s for “‘Of the,” but that doesn’t change when you’ll complete the assigned task. No, 25:00 tells us you’re a moron and don’t know military time, standard time It tells me if a non-analogue clock read 18:00:00 that’s what you’d write. I’ll tell you what analogue means when you get to my rank. Now, give me 50 push-ups.

*

How close are you to finishing the task assigned and don’t be telling me no shit about 25:00 o’clock How much time you got left, rookie? You don’t know how to answer them. What was the last grade you completed in school, rookie? That explains a lot. So, rookie, you’re either a genius, an idiot, or an idiot savant, you know which, rookie? Of course not. You’ve just completed basic. We ain’t in EST, CST, we’re in military time, understand? That’s why all our watches are linked and no manual winding clocks, digital. Why? Because if one of you motherfuckers goes AWOL, my supervisor will want to know when you went AWOL, that’s why and the fucking paperwork. Our government loves paperwork. Excel, Word, Access, they love all that shit. Yes, I know how Windows tells time. Shut up and give me five laps.

*

Your job ain’t asking me no stupid questions. Your job is to obey orders and I’m the one giving orders since I earned a higher rank. You want a dishonorable discharge? Then shut up. Your job is to defend our country, not to master debate. This ain’t no volunteer gig, y’all getting paid to do this shit and so am I. I’m paid more. So, I’m more important. So, complete your tasks by 23:00:00 and no more dumbass questions. Do I have to supervise you babies or think you can complete this task yourselves? Good, now you’d better complete it by the time assigned or there will be consequences.

*

Got a break from these morons. If I smoked, I’d have a cigarette break. I quit. Got a break from tough guy shit. Got some time to sit back, unless they fuck up, which is inevitable or my supervisor shows up. God bless America. Fuck that, I’m just here for the paycheck. I’ll be first in line with these morons behind me and beside me. This country’s going to pay for my college, feed my family, who wants me home, but after 10 years, I’ll have a military retirement and can attend my kids’ graduations, etc. so, have to deal with some young idiots， but they’re my responsibility until someone replaces me or I die. Then my family will be taken care of but none of this shit’ll matter. Back to the morons

*

How close are you kindergarteners to completing your tasks? Anyone? Why? What’s the fucking problem? Fine, vote on who’s going to represent your group. It’s a stupid waste of time, but go ahead. I’ve taught you nothing which not only looks bad for you, but makes me look like an idiot, understand? No, you’re the idiots. Complete the fucking tasks faster. That’s right, tasks, as in more than one. Did you think this was all ? You’re all rookies and dumb rookies at that. You got one hour to finish all this shit, then on to the next task. You understand, morons?

*

Is the task complete? Why not? You had enough time. Oh, but we needed an election and a bunch of other bullshit. Just do the fucking task and quit all excuses. No, you can’t finish it, on to the next task. Remember, the only leader you need here is me, now get cracking. Do any of you morons know when this task has to be completed by and no, it ain’t 25 o’clock on any some foreign calendar. You, what time will you complete this task. Never? That’s a stupid answer. What you mean, never, moron? I know you didn’t complete the last task. Forget the last task, it’s over. On to better things.

You understand the task ahead, right? Does anyone not understand how to do this task which you’ve done at least 5,000 times? Speak now or forever hold your peace. Then get started.

*

Someone’s knocking at the door, never a good thing. It isn’t a door but they’re here. What. What do you want? Oh, right, my and the soldiers’ mail is here. Put it aside as usual. There is one letter for me from you know who. As long as it ain’t a Dear John letter, who gives a fuck, but I open it and read, slow.

I don’t allow these rookies to cry and sure as Christ, I ain’t gonna cry, but it ain’t easy practicing what I preach, so I … go back out to the goddamn rookies and ask a moron for an update on the status and he tries to tell me but the motherfucker ain’t got enough sleep, food, water or nothing and he just stands there like an enemy before they die, knowing they’re going to die or a deer when hunting and he won’t speak.