My Kitchen Chaos

„Mama! Maaaamaaa!“

I step to the sink. With one hand, I open the tap. The water rushes out. It hits the spoon. A small fountain sprays upwards, soaking my apron. I wash the onion juice off my fingers. My eyes are still tearing. I sniff.

“Mama!”

I wipe my fingers on the now damp apron. Then I turn towards the door. Before rushing out, I check the kitchen.

Knives – put away. Stove – not on yet.

“What is it?”

I put a smile on my lips, after clearing my throat.

“What happened, my dear?”

The moment I step out of the kitchen, my smile broadens.

I wonder if an open concept would really be better.

He looks up. A broad smile stretches his mouth, amplifying my own facial expression.

“You came! Mama! Listen. I want to tell you something.”

He is sitting in front of a book. I feel my smile waver.

“Eren, could you wait a moment. I’m in the middle of preparing dinner.”

The smile is gone. As fast as flipping a switch. It is replaced by a frown. I approach him while glancing at the book. I pat his soft locks. He stares back up at me.

“You can come to the kitchen with me. Then I’ll be faster.”

He breaks eye contact, stares at the book and frowns.

What could he do? Cutting onions… no, I’m done already. The meat? No, he’ll lick his fingers. Maybe…

“Yeah. Okay. But I read a bit more first. Then I come and help you. Maybe in… ten minutes.”

“Sure. That sounds like a great idea.”

I open my mouth to praise him for agreeing so quickly, but his focus is already back on the book. The eyes are glued to the pages. The lips move slightly with every word. The smile on my face comes naturally this time.

I return to my messy realm. First I put the pan on the stove.

Oil in, turn the knob. One click. Eight… maybe better seven.

Then I return to the chopping board. I finish cubing the onions. Sniffing and crying. Desperately trying not to add additional seasoning to the onions on the board.

The onions meet the pan with a sizzling greeting. I stir them gently. But I’m already turning my head. I’m on the lookout for my next victim.

“Woah! Mama! That smells so goooood!”

“It’s the onions.”

Stepping away from the stove, I scan the kitchen.

Where is it?

Obviously, I check the bread box.

Huh? That’s where they were.

I pull out a pair of leather gloves.

What?

I put the gloves on the edge of the counter. Shaking my head, I continue my quest. With a quick glance, I step back at the stove. The onions have finished their greeting. Now they are happily enjoying their new surroundings. The oil helps them to get all soft and golden. I turn off the heat. The last steps will be done without me.

I open the fridge. I go through the drawers, but I still don’t get lucky. Instead, I take out the minced meat. Then my eyes catch something. It’s incredibly pink among innocent green leaves.

Mr. Sausage? Why…? Ah…

Eren and Viola were playing hide and seek. Mr. Sausage and Lamby the Lamb had to play as well.

Well, done, Mr. Sausage. You have fooled us all.

I save the pink plush monstrosity from its cold prison. It joins my gloves. My search continues. By now the kitchen is filled with a sweet onion smell. With a quick look towards the kitchen clock, I speed up my quest. I open drawers and cupboards. Eventually, a small Jenga® tower is sitting precariously on the kitchen counter.

I really need to do a deep clean soon.

One last idea hits me. I crouch. I open the oven and stare. Then I blink. I sigh.

Sure. It makes sense.

My hand reaches inside, taking out the plastic bag with the wholemeal bread. With another sigh I return to my counter, taking out four slices of bread. They also have to surrender to their fate. Mercilessly, I slice and dice. I succeed to scrape most of the bread into the big bowl. Only a few manage to escape.

Now the onions… and… milk!

I turn around, full of energy. I turn around, with too much energy. I turn around and bump into the edge. My Jenga® tower falls. My hip pays the price.

“You da…”

I clap my mouth shut. Eren is outside. “No more swearing in front of the kids.” Those were my husband’s words.

“Ah, oh… no!”

“Mama? What is it? Are you hurt?”

A chair scratches over the linoleum floor. Eren appears in the door, his eyes wide with worry. I rub my right hip and point at the pile. His face scrunches. But immediately there is a big grin. Without sparing me a second glance, he scoops up the lost treasure and disappears. I look at the clock. The ten minutes are up.

Better. I’ll be faster.

Now, I’m on the finishing line. The bread drinks up the milk. The soft onions bring in flavor. The meat meets the mixture. One egg is the glue to keep it all together. This time, I don’t forget salt, pepper and garlic. My hands work through the soft mass. It smells delicious even without being fried. I pat the meat dough in shape and cover it with a damp towel.

Let the meatballs rest.

There is a book with this title. I read it ages ago. I don’t remember much of it, but the title is still stuck in my head. It bubbles up every time I make meatballs. I step back at the sink. My hand pushes away the spoon. Then I open the tap. The greasy feeling washes away with soap and water.

Rice. I have to wash the rice now.

I turn around, still wiping my hands on the apron. I stare.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m your kitchen knight!”

“My what?”

“Your kitchen knight. See! I’m Sir Nere”

His chest puffed up. His balled fists on his hips. My knight has arrived.

My white oversized T-shirt is his coat. Mr. Sausage is squeezed between my husband’s belt and his shirt. Viola’s bike helmet covers his hair. My leather gloves look like deflated balloons on his small hands.

“What is Mr. Sausage doing?”

“That’s not Mr. Sausage!”

“Oh, it isn’t? I thought…”

“No, this is the Powerful Pink Peskylemons!”

He grabs his powerful sword. He pulls. Ready to defend.

It’s stuck. His face scrunches. I don’t dare to interfere. He pulls again. The helmet slips off his head. A glove hits the floor. With the pink pestilence the other glove flies through the kitchen. We both stare. The unexpected cannon ball hits my meatball bowl. The white bowl shakes. I hold my breath. My knight's eyes are glued on the white shining wall. It stands its ground.

Sir Nere’s face turns red. I can’t hold myself anymore. I burst out laughing. Eyes watering, I can’t stop. Eren joins me. We both laugh, holding our bellies. We both laugh until I gasp for air. I haven’t laughed like this in ages.

With a hiccup, Eren calms down. I also wipe the last tears out of the corner of my eyes. There is still a giggle left in my chest.

“But, mama. I have a question.”

“Sure. Ask away.”

“What’s orange and likes to hike?”

The giggle returns. I shake my head. Eren’s face is all serious.

“A wanderine.”