Just Checking Up! Part Sixty-Four: The Grief of What Could Have Been!

Rip:

Stepping into Purgatory to gather my composure, her running off abruptly ticked me off to no end. Digging at the dirt to control my increasing temper, a cool breeze nipped my cheeks. Knocking me into some sort of odd realm, time stood still. Spinning on the heels of my worn boots to leave, the new embroidered suit now covering my body threw me off. What cost did this come from? Giggles echoed around me, rotten grief spoiling the sweet scent of the pines and cedars. 

“Darn it! Silks was supposed to be the one in this trap!” A strange shrill voice cried out, inky rivers pouring from my ears. “Never mind that. Let’s delve into what rips the great Rip to shreds!” A single clap sent chills up my spine, a hospital room reeking of booze and cheap cigarettes only bringing confusion. No, I didn’t know this memory. A younger version of Silks was dragged in, my younger hands befuddling me. Placing them around eleven years old, a haggard sigh escaped my lips. A blurred face of my mother blocked me from seeing those broken eyes. Her dainty hands dusted off my suit, impatience haunting her aura.

“Get her to speak and you will get some ice cream on the way home.” Her icy voice ordered in a false happy tone, malice lacing that strict order. Pushing me towards her, the corner of her lips quivered. Excusing herself to talk to the medical staff, a flash of orange glinted in her eyes. Fussing with her pigtails, my breath hitched. How could I forget this moment? Hating my stupid mind, something traumatic must have occurred that day. Running my hand through my wild jet black waves, our demonic eye colors claimed our once human eyes.  

“My name is Rip.” I introduced myself coyly, her eyes averting to the sterile ivory hospital floor. “Did you want to hang out?” Folding her arms across her chest, her white tennis sneakers dug at the floor as if it was going to do something. 

“No offense, talking isn’t my biggest strength.” She uttered numbly, silent tears streaming down her cheeks as she tugged at her white shirt and pants out of anxiety. Angry scratch marks covered her neck, the blood stains on the collar of her shirt cracking my soul. Too bad I couldn't save her, I thought bitterly. Squeaking away in the opposite direction, an art studio presented me with an idea. Ignoring the horrible music, a loud hey exploded from my lips. Snapping her head in my direction, that icy glare nearly brought me to my knees. Marching up to me, her arms dangled limply by her side. 

“Since your mother seems overbearing and dark as Hell for some reason, I will comply with your request. Please know I did something horrible.” She choked out through another wave of raw emotional agony. “What do you need me to say in order to please her? Helping others is often better than sitting with your ghosts.” No wonder I spoke those words before, her lips had said them first. Cupping my hand, doors flashed by me until we skidded into the studio. Moving a few canvases, a secret door woke up a bit of hesitation. Opening it cautiously, a creak announced a potentially deadly adventure. 

“Care to hide with me? That is if you don’t mind old creepy hospital tunnels.” She giggled awkwardly, her cute grin stealing my heart away. “If anything tries to bite you, this queen will protect you.” Time stopped upon her speaking those words, my nickname for her feeling so right but wrong at the same time. Going on in some medieval speak, our flirting style made perfect sense. Crawling through without my response, the obvious choice was me climbing in behind her. Hovering in the shadows to shut the door properly, her thumbs up confirmed our cover. Scurrying in front of me, the tiny tunnel opened up to a creepy concrete maze of tunnels. Spirits hovered in the distance, Silks waving to them. Not shocked by her acknowledging them, respect lingered between all of them.  

“Don’t think me daft. The spirits keep me informed on when it is time to get back.” She laughed lightly, her genuine smile stealing my heart away. “Rules really drag you down around here.” Snatching my hand, scarlet flushed my cheeks. Slipping around corners, an abandoned morgue came into view. Spinning in front of me, freedom shimmered in her eyes. 

“What a cool place. I love creepy things as well.” I spoke openly, my tone shocking even me. Shock rounded her eyes, an inky blackness claiming her lips. An orange much like her fire lilies claimed her hair, shame dimming her eyes. Rubbing her arms, the corner of her lips quivered in that familiar broken smile. Quaking in her spot, an even bigger smile revealed a pair of fangs. 

“These things keep happening and I can’t have the staff seeing this nonsense. Can you keep a secret?” She pleaded with inky tears flowing down her eyes, her fingers extending into claws. Voices echoed down the hall, her eyes flitting around in deep terror. Sprinting over to the broken rectangle window. Attempting to reach the ledge, every failed attempt brought the orderlies that much closer. Picking her up by her waist, a day of freedom was in order. Hoisting herself onto a bit of wet grass, her gracious expression met my goofy grin. Offering her hand steadily, one tug had me rolling on top of her. Time didn’t permit us to register it, grass squeaking as we leapt to our feet. Running away from the chaos, her safety became my priority. Hoisting her over the brick wall, a sea of pine trees became our sanctuary. Darting in between the trees, a cave presented itself. Tripping into the mouth, her claws shrank back down. Sliding down the wall, orange fire lilies blossomed around her. Such a sight always stunned me, the base of it coming from anxiety. 

“Does this experience have anything to do with your mother?” She asked bluntly, her eyes lingering on mine. “I ask of you once more. Can you keep such an experience a secret? No one needs to poke at me more, no one!” Exploding at the last sentence, part of me wondered what they had done to her. Opening up my arms, her body collapsed into mine, her head snuggled into my chest. Warmth washed over me, everything feeling so heavenly. Chaos often tracked her, so many questions haunting me. How long had she suffered like this and how did she get it to stop? Snores echoed in my ears, a soft smile erasing the earned fright on her features. Hating that I couldn’t do much else, a long sigh escaped my lips. Resting my chin on top of her head, the warmth from her crackling flowers mesmerized me. Exhaustion weighed on my eyelids, a rough slumber stealing me away. 

Jerking awake to the sounds of dogs barking and shouts, Silks had returned to her human form. Kicking up the fire lilies, petals burned up to ash. Chaos erupted as they discovered us, strange masked men ripping us apart. Dragging her limp body off, a cruel spell failed to erase the memory this time. A familiar touch of my shoulder brought me back to who I really was, a strange grief eating at me. Why couldn’t I have that memory of holding her all those years? Every cell of me would have hunted her down relentlessly until she was in the same house with me, her safety almost always being guaranteed. 

“Sorry about that. It took a minute to break in.” Silks’ soft voice apologized sincerely, her true form coming out of the shadows. “They never erased my memory. All the tests were to bring out my inner demon or powers. Lord knows what they freaking called it. Those hours around you were, well, Heaven. No one tried to poke a needle into my vein. Sorry but I believe your inner magic erased that memory. At the time, your emotional stability probably relied on that. Before guilt devours you whole, there was nothing you could do. Your mother wasn’t the sole cult member to see if I was the real deal. Worry not. Thank you for not being scared of me.” Smashing into her body, a desperate embrace was all I could manage at the moment. Silent sorrow stained the top of her head, my chin finding its usual place in the nest of her waves. Clutching onto my waist, her scent swirled around us. A deep suck in did little to ease my fraying nerves, her loving gaze meeting my wet eyes. The memory block was never her fault, all of her quirks making a little bit more sense to my racing mind. Pecking my lips ever so gently, relief mixed with euphoria in my muscles. Almost melting into a puddle, none of this was okay. 

“Apparently a demon wants to bring me to our favorite Elemental.” She commented casually, her eyes darting all around. “Let’s kill or talk our way out of this.” Dusting off her ivory sweater dress, it was a far better cry to the hospital gear. Summoning her carved pieces of wood, a cut on the closest rocks had orange flames crackling into dual blades. Tying on her repaired dragon scale mask, pure adoration twinkled in her eyes. 

“Did my younger self get you in too much trouble?” She inquired playfully, her body squirming out of my arms. “Guilt would devour me whole if it did. Then again, they only did more testing once you left. They mumbled something about my ash.” Massaging my forehead, stress wrote itself onto my features. Ash floating around had been my fault, the punishment not exactly coming to mind. Carving a tracking circle into the hard rock floor, a few drops blooming a line of orange fire lilies. Presenting her hand in a theatrical manner, a curl of my fingers had her dragging me after them. Humming away, freedom glittered in her eyes. My breath hitched at had to be her genuine smile underneath that mask, her beauty knowing no bounds.

Skidding to a rough stop, a gray skeletal hand hovered over what had to be our memories. Cracking his bones with every spin of his wrist, his eyes darted over to hers. Stepping out of the shadows, Silks’ brow cocked at the empty sea of black in a sea gray tattered cloak. Rows of fangs glinted in the glow of her flames. A chill ran up my spine, a stern look telling me to stay back for the time being.  

“Playing with my trauma is a low blow. Thanks for the invite but I have no interest in maintaining a friendship with a nightmare caster himself.” She taunted him briskly, her flames flaring for a second. “Considering that you are an out of date bag of bones, your pink slip is here. Younger demons pull off your job without crossing the damn line! Then again, that wanted poster simply doesn’t do you justice.” Confusion twisted my features, muddy smoke swirled around the room. 

“Only the previous king placed me there. Something about going too far.” He growled through gritted teeth, our memories teetering dangerously behind him. “Truth be told, no limit exists.” Massaging her forehead, an exchange of looks confirmed our agreed views on the situation.  

“Sucks to be you.” She returned sarcastically, her eyes scanning over her exposed numerous scars. “Fight me like the demon you claim to be.” Charging at her, a crackling fireball exploded from her palm. Smashing into his cauldron holding our memories, hardened pearls befuddled him. Ash danced with sparks upon their violent clash, his fangs grinding away in sheer annoyance. 

“Why aren’t they shattering or melting like the others?” He demanded hotly, a kick to what was likely his ribs smashing him into the closest cave wall. Gliding down while attempting to gather his crumbling bones, his trembling hands failing to catch anything. Glancing back at me, empathy flashed in her eyes. Sighing while gathering her thoughts, his rotting body couldn’t be saved. 

“Trauma may weaken a soul at first but that soul always comes out stronger at the end. No matter how many times you smash me down, this queen of Hell will always stand tall and strong. Sorrow nips at the dead heart but emotions keep us alive, Mr. Bones.” She spoke gently, realization flashing in his glowing ivory eyes for a second. “Not sure what you expect from me but life has chewed me up far too many times for something like this to tear me down. Do you want to know a little something about me? Bottling such dark emotions until it is safe to feel again is my biggest coping mechanism to survive what would normally shred most people to bits internally. What I can’t forgive is the demons you have devoured or kidnapped to keep your fragile body alive. Punishment will be delivered swiftly for putting my king through Hell. Fight or don’t fight!” A darker energy swallowed the space, Twilix popping up behind him crushed him to dust. The glint in her eyes spoke of malevolence, determination brewing in Silks’ hidden devilish smirk.

“Welcome to the party. Was hiding not working out for you?” Silks taunted her boldly, that damn encrusted cloak floating up with an approaching snowstorm. The edges of this dimension faded to snowy wasteland, her shadowy form struggling to stay in place. Motioning for me to make my move discreetly, the two of them became balls of flashing energy. Inky lightning danced across the sky, Silks skidded inches from me as silver dragon flames tickled with black roared into dual scythes. Catching her breath, scratches covered her body. Clutching a bloody shoulder wound, her blades seemed to be nowhere to be found. Collapsing to her knees, orange fire lilies crackled to life around her. Narrowing my eyes, our favorite lady had disappeared. Sensing her above Silks, a flip brought me centimeters above her head. A spin underneath my arms pierced her inches from her core, her taunts going in one ear and out the other. Seconds from losing my shit, a spell of my own came to mind.  

“Broil, boil, and cook! Let this dragon magic sear you to ash!” I roared thunderously, a kick to her chest sent her zooming into the sky. Hitting a wave of her petals into the sky, a fiery dome crackled to life. Watching cautiously, dragon flames exploded across the building clouds, her shrieks disappearing into a swirl of jet black snow. Midnight black drops spattered onto the back of my hand, a sea of plush grass catching me. Lightning matching the color of my blood cooked the rest of my dragon flames, relief writing itself onto her features. Silent emotions stained my cheeks, her tired smile twitching as she injected herself via a golden liquid filled needle.  

“This concoction will probably knock me out.” She warned me fairly, muscle weaving itself in her shoulder. “Before that bullshit happens, know that I would have found a way to be your friend for all those years. Anyone who accepts me in this form deserves a medal of honor, especially back then.” Crawling over to me, one tug had me on my knees. Snuggling into my chest, a soft smile curled on my lips. Snaking her arms around my waist, her grip tightened until snores echoed in my ears. Laying back, a couple of shifts had me spooning her. Yanking her flush with my body, a gentle bliss coursed through me. Weeping into her head, my secret magic stole what could have been something most wondrous. Emptiness plagued me around my mother, our day of fun making life feel so cozy for that memory. Why was I so fucked up?

“Do you cherish what memories you have with Miss Silks?” Kaw inquired calmly as he popped up above me. Dusting off his suit, his kind eyes met my wet ones. Tapping his scales in a little song, the poor guy struggled with what to say. Parting his lips several times, the thought of this getting painful for the two of us crossed my mind.  

“The past can’t be changed.” I sniffled dejectedly, my face red with embarrassment. “Is this a habit of yours? Never mind, let me summon a d-” Phylox stumbled`in chaotically, donning a frightened expression. Blessia tripped in after her, both of them struggling to catch their breath. 

“Angels!” Blessia huffed between flutters of her wings, her eyes darting behind her. “They are hunting her down now. That enormous display had them on her trail.” Popping to my feet, a holy rain of dragon magic arrows bounced off of her dome. Cracking it slightly, a random door appeared in front of us. Tracing the carved dark wood, the door creaked open. Jumping into a sea of shadows, our heavy breathing and Blessia’s glow could be seen for miles. Slamming the door shut behind me, the wood rattled as it faded away. Nerves frayed, our rag tag group not sure what to say or do. Inky blackness oozed from my nostrils, my limit getting met way too soon. Swaying slightly, Kaw held me up. Pressing the back of my hand to my nose, the bleeding refused to slow. Voices faded in and out, exhaustion weighing on my eyelids. Phylox scooped up Silks, Kaw catching me in his arms. Losing the battle to exhaustion, a rough darkness swallowed me whole.