When I Met My Daughter

The woman standing on the sidewalk looked far too happy to see me.

I had never seen her before, but that didn’t stop her from staring directly at me with a huge smile that somehow grew wider with every step I took toward her. I slowed as I approached, trying to remember whether we’d ever met.

“Umm, hi?” I said.

“Hi, Elias!” the mysterious woman replied cheerfully.

I stopped walking. “How do you know my name?”

“Oh, right! Silly me.” She lightly tapped the side of her head. “I’m Veyra, Goddess of Time! I’ve been looking for you!”

I waited for her to tell me she was joking, but her expression didn’t change. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

“I’ll explain once we get back,” Veyra assured me.

“Get back where?” I asked, but Veyra suddenly grabbed my arm. A transparent bubble formed around us, and before I could react, we shot away from the ground.

“Whoa!” I yelled as I grabbed onto her.

Within seconds, we were floating above a small planet surrounded by darkness. Pale grass covered most of its surface. Below us, a stone house sat among trees and flowers, with two pools of shimmering water nearby. From this high above, I could easily see the curvature of the tiny world.

“Where the hell are we?” I asked in a panic.

“The Stillworld, my planet.” Veyra proudly motioned toward it. “Impressive, isn’t it?”

“Well, to be honest, it’s very small compared to…”

“Don’t you dare say your moon!” Veyra yelled as she punched me in the arm.

“Oww! Why are you hitting me?”

“My planet isn’t small,” Veyra muttered as our bubble descended. It disappeared once we touched the ground, and she immediately started toward the pools. “Follow me, Elias.”

I reluctantly followed the strange woman who had just kidnapped me. “What exactly does the Goddess of Time want with me?”

“Just one little mission!” Veyra explained. “I want you to be my Warden of Time. I need a mortal to help me with something, and don’t worry, it’s not too hard.”

“And if I don’t accept? I have a pregnant wife at home waiting for me.”

“Time stands still here, so she won’t even know you’re gone,” Veyra assured me.

I looked around the Stillworld before turning back to her. “Why did you choose me?”

“You’ve kinda helped me before, and we work well together.”

“I think I’d remember working for the Goddess of Time.”

Veyra’s smile became noticeably nervous. “Well, I kinda, sorta, maybe, probably wiped your memory after each mission.”

“You did what?”

“That’s not important!” Veyra hurried toward the nearest pool and pointed at the shimmering water. “Look! You remember the Temporal Healing Spring, right?”

“I don’t remember any springs.”

“Oh, come on! It heals practically any physical injury. Cuts, burns, broken bones, anything like that.” Her smile widened. “Unfortunately, it won’t heal any of your emotional wounds.”

Veyra laughed at her own joke while I stared silently at her.

“You laughed the last time I made that joke.”

“According to you, I don’t remember the last time.” I glanced around the empty Stillworld. “Actually, who else is usually here to laugh at your jokes?”

Veyra opened her mouth before slowly looking around the empty planet herself. “You should stop talking.”

“You say that a lot for someone who kidnapped me.”

“I didn’t kidnap you.”

“You grabbed me off the street and put me in a bubble.”

“Temporal transportation bubble,” Veyra corrected.

“Kidnapping bubble.”

Veyra muttered something beneath her breath as she walked toward the second pool. “Anyway, you haven’t agreed to help me, and I’m not going to force you. Before you decide, there’s something I always offer anyone I’m considering for Warden.”

I followed her to the water’s edge. “Another magical hot tub?” Veyra quickly raised her fist. “Sorry, what’s this incredibly impressive fountain?”

Her fist slowly lowered. “The Fountain of Time. It allows you to visit one moment within your own lifetime, past or future.”

I stared into the shimmering water. “And what’s the catch?”

“There isn’t one. Whatever you choose is entirely yours, and I won’t even ask where you’re going.”

“You’re the Goddess of Time, but you won’t know?”

“I could know,” she corrected. “I choose not to.”

I looked back at the water as possibilities raced through my mind. I could see something I’d lost, something I’d forgotten, or something that hadn’t happened yet. It should have been an impossible decision, but somehow it wasn’t.

“How does it work?” I asked.

“Step into the water and concentrate on where you want to go. The fountain will do the rest.”

I took a slow breath and moved toward the edge.

“Have fun!” Veyra called behind me. “Unless you picked something sad. Then have… whatever the appropriate opposite of fun is.”

I glanced back at her. “You’re really bad at this Goddess of Time thing.”

“I’m working on it.”

Smiling to myself, I turned toward the fountain and started to step inside.

“Wait!” Veyra yelled as she grabbed my arm.

“What now?”

Her cheeks suddenly turned red. “I forgot to make you an honorary Warden first.”

“Why are you blushing?”

“Because without the proper Warden insignia, the fountain would probably, most certainly, and most definitely rip you to shreds.”

I stared at her. “That would have been wonderful information before I almost stepped inside!”

“You’re fine!” Veyra replied as several forms suddenly materialized in her hands. “I just need to fib on some paperwork.”

“You’re falsifying paperwork?”

“I prefer honorary appointment.” Veyra scribbled across several pages before catching me looking over her shoulder. “Excuse me! Don’t look!”

I turned away, and a few seconds later, she announced she was finished.

“Now for your uniform!” Veyra moved her hands through the air before an ugly pile of clothing appeared in her arms. “Materialize!”

I stared at it. “You’re making this up as you go, aren’t you?”

“What? No!” She shoved the clothes toward me. “Put it on.”

I reluctantly changed into the strange uniform. Despite how ridiculous it looked, it fit perfectly and was surprisingly comfortable. “Can I at least ditch the cape?”

“No!”

“Why?”

Veyra hesitated. “Because I like the cape.”

I stared at her.

“Just get in the fountain,” she snapped, crossing her arms.

I stepped into the shimmering water, and almost as quickly as it surrounded me, it disappeared. A moment later, my feet touched pavement, and I found myself standing on the same street where Veyra had found me.

For a second, I wondered if the fountain had worked at all.

The neighborhood looked almost exactly the same. The houses were still there, the sidewalk followed the same familiar path, and even the park across the street looked untouched. As I started walking, however, I noticed the trees lining the road had grown considerably larger, their branches stretching across sections of sidewalk that had once been open. A few houses looked different too, and several cars parked along the street were models I’d never seen before. The fountain had worked.

I continued toward my house, but with every step, the confidence I’d somehow maintained while arguing with a literal goddess disappeared. My heart pounded harder as my familiar house came into view, and for the first time since making my choice, I wondered if coming here had been a mistake. Then I saw her.

A girl about twelve years old was walking along the sidewalk ahead of me, heading toward my house with a backpack hanging from one shoulder. I slowed as she drew closer. Something about her face seemed familiar, but I couldn’t understand why until she finally looked up.

She had Mara’s eyes. The girl noticed me standing in the middle of the sidewalk and stopped. Confusion crossed her face for only a moment before her eyes widened and an enormous smile appeared. “Dad!” she shouted as she ran toward me.

I barely had time to react before she threw her arms around me. My entire body froze as she squeezed me tightly, but after several seconds, I slowly wrapped my arms around her. I couldn’t stop staring down at the girl holding me. Talia was still seven months away from being born as far as I was concerned, yet here she was, twelve years old and holding onto me like she’d done it a thousand times.

“Talia?” I finally whispered.

She pulled back enough to look at me, and her enormous smile quickly turned into confusion as she noticed my clothes. “Dad, what the heck are you wearing?”

I glanced down at the ridiculous Warden uniform I’d almost forgotten about. “Apparently something very important.”

“You have a cape.”

“I specifically asked not to have the cape.”

Talia grabbed the edge of it and laughed. “Whoever gave you this hates you.”

“Believe me, I’m beginning to suspect that.”

She laughed again before slipping her arm through mine and pulling me toward the house. “Come on. Mom said dinner’s almost ready, and she told me to find you.”

I followed without saying anything. Talia had called Mara Mom so casually that it took me a second to process it. Of course she was Mom to her. The woman I’d left at home with one hand constantly resting against her pregnant stomach had spent the last twelve years raising the girl currently attached to my arm.

“What are we having?” I asked.

“Tacos, unless Mom burned them while I was gone.”

“Mara doesn’t burn tacos.”

Talia looked up at me. “She burned them last week.”

“Your mother has never burned anything in her life.”

“That’s because you haven’t seen what she does to grilled cheese.”

I laughed, partly because I could already imagine Mara arguing with both of us about it. Talia smiled and continued walking, apparently satisfied that nothing was wrong. I wasn’t sure how long I had here, and the last thing I wanted was to frighten her by explaining that the man beside her had never actually met her before.

“Mom also said I have to ask you about staying at Maya’s tonight,” Talia continued. “She said nine-thirty is fine, but she won’t say yes unless you do.”

“Why does she need me to agree?”

Talia stared at me like I’d asked why the sky was blue. “Because you both have to agree.”

There was enough annoyance in her voice to make me smile. “That sounds inconvenient.”

“It is! I can’t even ask Mom after you say no because the first thing she does is ask if I already talked to you.”

“Sounds like we’ve learned your tricks.”

“You’ve known all of them since I was six.”

I laughed quietly as she tightened her arm around mine. I had no idea who Maya was, where she lived, or what Talia normally did there, but I understood what Talia had just told me without realizing it. Mara and I made decisions about our daughter together, and we’d apparently been doing it long enough that Talia had given up trying to get around us.

“So can I stay until nine-thirty?” she asked.

I hesitated, painfully aware that I was being asked to make a parenting decision less than five minutes after meeting my first child. “Your mom already said she’s okay with it?”

Talia nodded. “As long as you are.”

“Then nine-thirty sounds fair.”

Her face immediately lit up. “Really? You’re not going to make it nine?”

“Should I?”

“No!” Talia grabbed my arm tighter. “Nine-thirty is perfect. You’re the best.”

I laughed as she leaned against me, but the words stayed with me longer than they should have. Talia had no idea what she was doing to me. Every touch and every stupid complaint about our rules was giving me another tiny piece of a life I hadn’t lived yet.

She spent the next few minutes telling me about school, most of which I barely understood because every name was new to me. I didn’t mind. Talia clearly expected me to know all of them, which meant the older version of me did. More importantly, she wanted to tell me. She talked about her friends without hesitation, complained about a teacher who assigned too much homework, and told me about a girl who had been crying at lunch because her parents were getting divorced.

“She didn’t want anyone to know, so don’t tell Mom yet,” Talia said. “I told her she could come over whenever she wants, though.”

I looked down at her. “That was a nice thing to do.”

Talia shrugged. “You and Mom always say nobody should feel like they don’t have somewhere safe to go.”

I stopped walking for half a second before forcing myself to continue.

She hadn’t said it like it was important. To her, it wasn’t. It was just something her parents had told her often enough that she’d started saying it herself.

Talia glanced up at me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” I managed a smile. “I’m just listening.”

She seemed satisfied with that and leaned against my arm again. “Oh, are we still getting breakfast tomorrow before my game?”

I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. “Remind me what the plan was.”

Talia immediately looked suspicious. “You promised we’d go to that little diner by the park.”

“Right. The diner.”

“Before my game,” she added. “Mom said you should sleep in because you’ve been working late all week, but you told her breakfast with me was more important.”

My eyes began to burn before I could stop them.

Talia didn’t notice and kept talking. “She said she’d make pancakes instead, but you said Saturdays are our thing and you’d sleep when you were dead.”

I looked away from her.

I didn’t remember making that promise. I didn’t remember the diner or her games or a single Saturday morning we’d ever spent together because none of them had happened to me yet.

But someday they would.

Apparently, somewhere between the terrified man standing here now and the father Talia knew, I’d created something with my daughter that mattered enough to protect even when I was exhausted.

“Dad?”

I quickly wiped beneath one eye. “Sorry.”

Talia moved in front of me, and the concern on her face made it obvious I’d done a terrible job hiding it. “Why are you crying?”

I laughed quietly because I had no idea how I could possibly explain it. “I’m just having a strange day.”

She studied me for a moment before wrapping her arms around my waist. There was no hesitation and no embarrassment. My daughter simply saw that I was upset and hugged me.

I closed my eyes as I held her.

“You know we can skip breakfast tomorrow,” Talia said against my chest. “I like going with you, but you don’t have to do stuff just because you promised me.”

That only made it worse.

I held her tighter as another tear slipped down my cheek. Talia had spent her entire life with the man I was going to become. She knew all the mistakes I’d made, all my annoying rules, every argument we’d ever had, and every time I’d probably embarrassed her in front of her friends.

And when she’d seen me standing on the sidewalk, she’d run to me.

“I love you, Dad,” Talia whispered.

For her, she’d probably said those words a thousand times.

For me, it was the first.

I rested my cheek against the top of her head as the tears finally came.

“I love you too, Talia.”

The world suddenly disappeared around me, and a moment later, I was standing in the Fountain of Time again. Talia’s arms were gone, but I could still feel where she’d been holding me.

Veyra stood at the edge of the fountain, watching me with an expression far quieter than any she’d worn since kidnapping me. “You went forward this time.”

I wiped the remaining tears from my face. “You said you wouldn’t look.”

“I didn’t.” Veyra smiled softly. “I just know you.”

I stepped out of the fountain. “Apparently better than I know myself.”

“Every other time I’ve brought you here, you went backward,” Veyra explained. “You watched your childhood. Your parents. You kept trying to understand why they raised you the way they did.”

I stared at her. Mara and I had spent countless nights talking about our childhoods and everything we wanted to do differently with our own family. “And then you erased my memory.”

“Well…” Veyra looked away. “Yes.”

“So why was this time different?” I asked.

Veyra looked at me curiously. “You tell me.”

I thought about Talia running toward me, complaining about the rules Mara and I made together and telling me about breakfasts I hadn’t lived yet. “Mara and I didn’t exactly have the best examples growing up. Ever since she got pregnant, I’ve wondered whether loving our child would be enough. What if we make the same mistakes our parents did?”

Veyra smiled. “So you went to see for yourself.”

I nodded as my eyes began burning again. “She was happy, Veyra. She ran to me. She loved me.”

“Of course she did.”

I looked at her. “You knew?”

“Elias, I’m the Goddess of Time.”

“You could’ve just told me!”

“You wouldn’t have believed me.” Veyra stepped closer and rested a hand against my arm. “You’ve spent every other trip trying to understand your past. This was the first time you wanted to see what you were building instead.”

I looked back at the Fountain of Time and smiled.

“So,” Veyra said, her usual cheerful voice returning, “about that little mission…”

I sighed before looking at her. “One condition. You don’t erase my memory this time.”

Veyra suddenly found the Stillworld’s grass incredibly interesting.

“Veyra.”

“We’ll discuss it.”

“Veyra!”