❣️You Are Invited to My Pity Party❣️ – A Funny Short Story by Franki K

Roses are Red.

Violets are Blue

Niki, Darlin’, my love is true.

I read about this serial cheating celebrity husband. That’s a tongue twister. This fella reportedly gave his soon-to-be ex-wife 10,000 heart-shaped balloons for Valentine’s Day.

Although 10,000 balloons is clearly an exaggerated number, the video shows he did give her a boatload, making for quite a video.

Someone joked in his comments that he gave her one balloon for every day he cheated.

I laughed so hard, I folded in half.

That’s a lot of cheating.

Speaking of cheating, I must admit, I’m a serial cheater, too. Not in a proud way, but I have to be honest.

Like the celebrity, I wish big purchases could erase mistakes, but my resources are limited.

If I could give my lady flowers or balloons to come back to me, I would.

I can't, though.

I am so broke that when I pull my pockets out, not even lint falls out.

LOL.

Given my financial situation, I’m looking for a genuine way to show how sorry I am. Maybe I can make up for my mistakes by expressing my love in words, hoping they mean more than things.

This got me thinking about grade school. Back then, if you misbehaved, they’d swat you with a paddle. When that got labeled cruel and unusual, they made you write sentences. Hundreds of them.

I will not talk in class.

I will not chew gum in class.

Let me pause to wonder what, in the name of banana-stuffed pancakes, possessed Michael Jordan to go digging for ice in that little fella’s tush on national television.

I digress.

These stories that circulate on social media are something else!

Dear Darling Niki. I do love you. Love Rob.

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I love you ❣️

I love you

I pray this reaches you, as I am blocked from you on social media. If you do see this, I cannot promise that I shall not cheat again, but I do love you 10 times over.

#SerialCheater #10000Times #Apology #LoveStruggles #SocialMediaConfession #DearNiki #ILoveyou

Comments:

@MomDAD2924: Bro… you are weird.

@TruthTeller: Can’t promise not to cheat again? GTFOH. LOL.

@MJ Fan: Keep Michael Jordan’s name out of your mouth.

@SueHeffer You can’t afford one balloon?🎈 Get a job! 🙄

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