Rivals & Romance

My intestines were tying themselves into an intricate knot as I waited for the small cluster of students to dissipate around the cast list posted outside the theater room. A gap opened up and I slipped into it - or at least tried to. Instead, I bumped into Colin Atwater. Because of course I did.

He and I had been in fierce competition since freshman year, vying for the highest test score, the best speech, or a teacher’s attention with hands raised high. Apparently today that competition extended to possession of the same yellowing tile in the hallway of the school. My retainer case went flying from atop the precarious stack of books in my arms, landing with an ominous crack. I cursed under my breath as I bent to retrieve it while trying not to drop everything else.

At least we aren’t competing for the role of Maria, I thought as I awkwardly maneuvered the second retainer case I’d broken this week securely into my armpit. I blew my bangs out of my eyes as I returned to the list. Colin’s face drained of color, his expression pinched.

“Congratulations, Avery,” he managed in a strained voice.

My eyes flew to the top of the sheet.

Maria - Avery Miller.

I emitted an involuntary high-pitched squeal that caused Colin to squinch his face up tighter and cover his ears. If I hadn’t been burdened by so many books, I’d have done a happy dance.

And then the line below came into focus.

Tony - Colin Atwater

That brought me crashing down so fast I got emotional whiplash. Talk about harshing my buzz. I hadn’t even known he was auditioning and he was playing the romantic lead opposite me? This could not be real.

“You have got to be kidding me.” The words escaped from my mouth, which had been gaping open from the shock.

He rocked onto his heels and slowly shook his head side to side, his lips performing a poor imitation of a smile.

“Ahem. What I meant to say is congratulations, Colin! I guess that means I’ll see you at rehearsal?”

“Yup.” He raked his fingers through his fluffy sandy-brown hair.

I hugged my books to my chest, gave him a tight nod, and went to step around him. At the same moment, he went to step around me. This was bordering on ridiculous. I blinked my eyes shut slowly once, then more rapidly to convey my disbelief. He flourished one hand in an elegant motion indicating I should go first.

“It appears chivalry is not entirely dead,” I muttered as I swept past him.

******

“Avery! Wait up!” The rhythmic click of high heels on asphalt announced Maya’s arrival.

I slammed the trunk of my bland-but-reliable sedan and slumped against it as Maya sashayed toward me. Her chic wheeled backpack and flowy peasant skirt floated behind her. If I didn’t love her, I might have hated her for being annoyingly close to perfect.

She winked and blew a kiss toward a group of freshman boys she passed. They started shoving each other and laughing; probably arguing over the intended recipient of the kiss. The rest of us mere mortals could only hope to be half as charismatic as Maya. She reached my side and enveloped me in an amber-scented cloud of a hug. Sagging against her, I whimpered. She patted and rubbed my back.

“Maya,” I whined, “Colin is my Tony. How am I supposed to pretend I’m in love with him?”

“Aw, honey. I know. But hey, at least you’ll get to prove that you’re an amazing actress. Every theatrical skill you’ve developed will be tested. I know you can do it! You could convince people you’re in love with a toad if you had to.”

“Stop trying to cheer me up. If it works, I won’t have an excuse to stop for something sweet to lift my spirits.”

“Shall I try to drag you down instead, then? Hmmm,” she tapped her manicured finger against her cheek in thought. “Well, I did hear that Colin didn’t even try out for Tony; he auditioned for Riff.”

“Wait, you mean to tell me he accidentally landed the lead male role in my dream musical on his first foray into theater? That is so much worse than him and I competing academically. Now I definitely want a sweet treat.”

******

“Avery. Let me be blunt.” Ms. McKay massaged her temples. “You’re supposed to be infatuated with Colin. Stop looking at him like he’s a spider you want to stomp on. Why don’t the two of you step into the hallway and work on the balcony scene. Opening night is ten days away.” She turned to address the rest of the cast, effectively dismissing us.

I slunk out the doorway and wheeled around, starting in on Colin. “Okay. We’re in this together, like it or not, so let’s make the most of it. I cannot let you ruin this for me.” I glared at him as we stood next to the cast list that was now covered in scribbles of encouragement and missing a corner.

“You think I’m ruining this for you? You’re the one that can’t stop casting murderous glances in my direction. I’m trying to make the most of this. How is it my fault you can’t even pretend to like me?” He ran a hand through his hair, which he did frequently in my presence.

“You’re not trying to ruin anything for me?” I crossed my arms. “Why should I believe you? You’ve never even been interested in theater and now here you are, literally upstaging me like you always do.”

“You know what? Not everything is about you,” he murmured, not meeting my eyes.

“Not everything is about me?! You corrected me in front of Mr. Tibbets in the first week of English freshman year. Every time I do something, you have to do it better. Even acting. How could I not take that personally? Did you ever think maybe you don’t have to make other people look bad to make yourself look better?” As I spoke my words got closer together and more shrill.

He stepped back as if struck. “Do you really think that’s what I’ve been doing?”

“Why else would you make a habit of publicly challenging me?” My chest heaved and my hands were drawn into tight fists at my side.

“Publicly challenging you?” His brow furrowed.

“Uh, yeah. Just last week when Ms. Jones called on you in class, you suggested she ask me. I’m not sure how you knew I wasn’t paying attention but that was humiliating!” I tucked my hair behind my ear forcefully, heat rushing to my cheeks at the memory.

“But…” He paused, licking his lips before continuing. “You’ve clearly decided I’m the villain of your story, which sucks. But speaking of Ms. Jones, I need to submit that paper before 11:59. Let’s get this over with.”

“Wait… you haven’t submitted that yet?!” A perverse feeling of smug satisfaction washed over me. Mine had been submitted over the weekend.

“I don’t have anyone to make me look better when I’m working solo.” His tone was bitter. Dark shadows marred the pale skin underneath his chocolate brown eyes. I almost felt bad. Almost.

“Well, luckily this isn’t a solo. At least now that everything’s out in the open, I don’t feel as tense. Let’s begin.” I twisted my hair into a messy bun and shook myself, mentally compartmentalizing his words to digest later.

I threw myself into singing and practicing the choreography. I had watched the dreamy Tony and Maria balcony scene dozens of times and visualized myself recreating it flawlessly. Of course I’d pictured myself opposite Ansel Elgort, but alas.

I forced myself to maintain eye contact with Colin. To his credit, he never broke that contact. His tenor voice had a natural vibrato that would’ve made me swoon if he were anyone else. When his large hand cupped mine near the end of our duet I tilted my chin downward and looked up at him in what I hoped was a flirtatious manner. He really is a natural, I thought. I could feel Tony’s yearning for Maria. We finished the final note in perfect harmony, standing close with fingers intertwined.

Ms. McKay and the rest of the class started clapping. Someone whistled. We broke apart, looking everywhere but at each other. I wiped my sweaty palms on my leggings. Wow, I’d lost myself in the role of Maria. I was shaping up to be quite the actress. Colin grabbed his things, leaving without another word.

“Girl, is it me or did you two just have a moment?! Whew.” Maya fanned herself with her hands.

“A moment of theater, darling,” I replied airily, draping my arm around her shoulders. “Ice cream?”

“Obviously.”

******

I put a hand to my stomach to see if I could feel the chaotic butterflies from the outside. I couldn’t, but my heartbeat matched the fluttering of their wings as I waited for Maya to come over and make last-minute adjustments to my costume and makeup. I glanced into one of the mirrors and took in my heavily rouged cheeks, rosy lips and fake eyelashes. I stuck my tongue out at my reflection to feel more like myself.

Maya breezed over to me, measuring tape around her neck. A sewing kit and makeup brushes were organized in pouches on a belt around her slim waist. She looked at me appraisingly and nodded.

“Leading lady? Check. You look marvelous, darling! You were born for this role. Do you feel pretty?”

“Oh so pretty!” I sang at her. My voice cracked and I grasped my neck.

“You just had to get that out of your system. You’ll be fine when you’re on the stage! It’s a full house tonight and you’ll totally bring it down. Well. Once we find the leading man,” she added, as if it were an afterthought. She calmly tucked a stray hair into place on my head and spritzed it with hairspray.

“Once you what?!” My voice was overly loud for backstage conversation. Everyone looked our way.

“Find the leading man. Colin appears to be missing. But Adam is totally ready to step in if he has to!” Maya beamed. I and everyone else backstage stared at her. Unflappable, thy name is Maya.

“If he thinks he can just walk away from me - I mean, the play - he has another thing coming!” I stomped off holding my phone.

I texted the rehearsal group chat as I walked out into the auditorium, scanning the crowd.

Avery: Has anyone seen Colin?

Adam: Yea. But now we can’t find him. I can be Tony but he has the costume.

Avery: I’ll find him. Don’t you worry.

Adam: That sounds menacing.

Avery: It was meant to.

I suddenly had an idea where I might find him. I flounced back through the backstage area and into the theater classroom, then proceeded out the back door into the hallway. Sure enough, there was my leading man curled in on himself on the floor with his head bowed. On the tile where it all started.

“You have a really funny way of showing me that you don’t want to ruin everything for me, Colin Atwater!” I shrieked.

He slowly lifted his head and I took in his pasty white face and glassy eyes. He slumped back down.

“I can’t do it.” His voice was muffled.

“The heck you can’t!”

“Why do you even care?” he moaned piteously. “You said that me as Tony was ruining everything, so me not being Tony should fix everything. Right?” He peeked up hopefully.

“Uh, wrong. That was before I knew that you’re pretty okay at acting.” I breathed in, then exhaled slowly as I sank onto the floor next to him. “Actually, that’s not true. You’re like… really good at it. It took me years to learn what comes naturally to you. Just like everything else does. Jerk.” I lightly punched his shoulder.

“Nothing comes naturally to me. You see the end results, Avery, not the sleepless nights. But all that aside, I’m hiding in the hallway and it’s,” he glanced at his phone, “fifteen minutes until showtime.”

I laughed. “Happens to the best of us. You should have seen me before my first musical in middle school. And I was just a tree in a forest.”

The ghost of a smile darted across his face.

“But for real. Let’s do this. Just pretend it’s another rehearsal. We’ve come a long way these last couple weeks. You make me believe you’re feeling the things Tony is feeling which makes it easy for me to do likewise with Maria.”

“Avery…” he halted.

“Yeah?”

“Nevermind. But thank you. For the pep talk. You’re unexpectedly pretty okay at them.” He quoted my words back at me.

He slowly rose and extended a hand down to help me up. A little shiver raced down my spine. Stupid drafty school hallways. I instructed him to brush off his derriere before Maya saw him. He rolled his eyes, but complied. I also brushed myself off and caught him watching me with an expression I couldn’t label.

“Did I miss something?” I self-consciously looked down at my own behind.

“No. You look… perfect…ly like Maria.” Cue hands running through feathery hair again.

“Thanks, Tony,” I said in a syrupy sweet falsetto as I clasped my hands together in front of my chest. I tried to complete the effect with a wink, but it turned into an awkward blink. How did Maya do it? He barked out a laugh and I grinned, satisfied that he had recovered from his stage fright. Or at least was distracted from it. We walked backstage together side by side in comfortable silence. I’d never have thought the day would come.

******

The red velvet curtains swished closed and I whooped, gathering Colin up into a spontaneous hug as he rose from his theatrical death. His face was split into the widest grin I’d ever seen. He squeezed me back tightly.

“Curtain call!” came Ms. McKay’s voice over the celebratory din.

Colin set me down abruptly. I smoothed down my dress unnecessarily before reaching for his hand to lead him to the center of the stage. We were greeted by thunderous applause as we took our bows. Everyone else involved with the production got their turn in the spotlight and then we all came together as a huge group for a quick photo.

The adrenaline rush faded into exhaustion as everyone rushed around backstage preparing to leave for the night. I yawned as I struggled to put my hoodie on. Finally poking my head through the top, I blearily blinked as Colin came into focus. He shuffled side to side, cradling the most stunning bouquet of assorted flowers in his arms.

“Um, these are for you?” He thrust them toward me.

“Was that a question?” I asked as my hand finally pushed through the sleeve hole.

“Ha. No. But I told you nothing comes naturally to me. Least of all talking to you.”

I tilted my head at him.

His hand holding the flowers started to withdraw uncertainly as he sighed.

“Don’t you dare take back my gift. They’re beautiful. Thank you.” I gathered the bouquet into my arms. The silence stretched on a beat too long for comfort. Only a handful of people remained in the building.

“Walk me to my car? My parents are coming to tomorrow night’s show so they’re not here tonight. But if you don’t-”

“Yes. Yes, I’d love to,” he interrupted me before I could change my mind.

I tried to sling my tote bag over my shoulder but he insisted on carrying it for me and we walked out the double doors. I inhaled a lungful of refreshingly cool night air and looked up at the dazzling display of stars in the sky above.

“You’re beautiful,” he blurted.

I halted in my tracks.

“I’m worried you don’t want to hear this, or you won’t believe me, but… I auditioned for the role of Riff hoping a musical would be a way for you to see me as something more - or less? - than a rival. That day that you think I was trying to humiliate you? I had no idea what the answer was, but I was confident you did. You’re so smart, Avery. I don’t try hard in school to compete against you. I just… try. Really, really hard. I’m sorry you see it otherwise.” The words spilled out in a rush as if a dam had broken from holding back too much.

I tentatively stepped toward him and brushed his hair back from his face. It was as soft as I’d been imagining every time I’d watched him do the same. The streetlamp above illuminated the gold flecks in his brown eyes. The eyes that studied me with increasing intensity, bushy brows drawing together in an unspoken question.

I took one more step toward him, only inches remaining between us now. He crushed me to his chest, closing the gap in an instant. We angled our heads closer together, lips almost touching. The unmistakable chirp of Maya’s Mercedes being unlocked broke the spell.

“Oops!” came Maya’s breathily unbothered voice.

I buried my head against Colin’s chest and smothered my anguished laugh in his leather jacket, unwilling to let go. It seemed so obvious that this was where things had been leading. Hopefully our story had a happier ending than Tony’s and Maria’s had.