La Mort Encore (Death Again)

La Mort Encore

12 May

Dear Diary. Today I was talking to some of my pals from school. I can’t believe that I’m graduating this soon. I’m gonna attend the university, some of them plan to go to work straightaway, and one, Giacco, is even planning to enlist into the army. I never imagined my school life to end so soon. Maybe never to end at all. But this finale suddenly came so close. I’m very enthusiastic about it, even though I’m a bit sad. I don’t want to lose my friends.

14 May

Dear Diary. Today Marcelle, my best bro, told me that Monica likes me and plans to invite me to the prom. I’m slightly stunned by it. I mean… She’s a nice gal. And I like her. I just never expected this to be mutual, which frightens me some bits. Maybe I should invite her somewhere? Like coffee or movies… But then her plan with the prom may collapse. Perhaps I should ask my parents about it.

15 May

Dear Diary. My exams are very soon, and I’m trying to prepare as well as possible. But I can’t stop thinking about Monica. I mean… Can this be my first relationship? I’ve approached my mom today. She seemed distressed a bit. It is actually unusual. When I came to the living room, she was just sitting there, looking into one spot. I mean, problems at work I guess. Anyway, I asked her how to approach Monica and she gave me some advice. Gonna put them to use ASAP, xd.

17 May

Dear Diary. I’ve been to school today (how unusual) and I’ve noticed something strange. For some reason at some point all teachers left classes and went to their conference room, while we were sent home. I’m not sorry about it. Mostly because I went up to Monice and invited her to the movie. We are gonna go there in a couple of days, 20 May. I’m so excited!

18 May

Hey. I have this strange feeling that something’s going on with all my grown-up relatives and friends. Today’s morning I found my parents sitting in front of the TV and watching news broadcasts, but they never do that. I mean, there should be some Football World Cup in our country, I’ve heard that some of the games are gonna be in our city even.

But the strange stuff doesn’t end with my parents. My other pal, Sandro, talked with me and Marcelle today and said that he saw some of their clothes in suitcases and bags. When he told us, I thought that they were going on a vacation, but Sandro seemed to be as surprised as we were. I guess his parents just plan to take him on a trip right after exams as a graduation gift. Though the exams are going to be in a month only, so it’s a bit weird.

Anyway, I saw Monica today. She came to me herself and asked if we could go tomorrow instead of the 20th. Said she can’t go on the 20th and doesn’t want to postpone. Of course I agreed. We are going to be together for the whole day tomorrow!

22 May

Monica and I didn’t meet. And we will probably not meet each other for a long time, since the cinemas are closed. As are cafes, restaurants and most of everything else. It all started on the 19th. I woke up as always, planning to have breakfast and go for a walk with Monica. I’ve found my father standing in the kitchen. I’ve never seen him like that. His eyes were empty, his hand shaking, as he was watching through the window. I’ve asked him what’s wrong. He showed me the news on his phone. A war has started.

I don’t understand it one bit. I ran towards their bedroom to find mom, but she was away, at the hospital where she worked. She was called to get there ASAP. I don’t understand. Our neighbours started the attack, all our border cities and villages were under fire. My father was stunned, but I didn’t understand. It didn’t make any sense. Why would they?

I’ve called my friend Marcelle straightaway, but he was as puzzled as I am. I mean, what’s the point? Marcelle said that his parents who worked at the local municipality were thinking of leaving for the Western border. For a couple of days at least. Maybe it will end soon. He also told me that Giacco called him in the morning, asking if we could meet. All of us.

24 May

Today our city was bombarded by planes and rockets. I didn’t know that such sounds exist. When you hear the wind followed by thunder. My mom hasn't been home for two days already. She stayed in the hospital, tending to the wounded. Dad said that some soldiers from the frontline were brought here to heal. He also told me that we may need to leave soon, if war would come too close.

My parents prohibited me from leaving the house, but I ran away anyway, because I needed to meet my friends. After all, Giacco asked us to. We met at the edge of our city, where there’s a small forest. Marcelle brought us some beers and ham. Together we sat in silence, not sure what we could say. Sandro gave me a beer, while Giacco set up a small bonfire. We drank our beer, seeing the glow in the sky on the horizon. Some villages were burning there. Our silence was only broken by sudden distant roars of explosions. Giacco was the first to speak.

He said he wants to enlist before the end of the school. Not to the officer academy, as he planned, but just any military. He said that our country needs us now, maybe more than ever. I felt his words. He was right. Then Sandro rose.

He said that his parents want him to leave, but he doesn’t want to. It is wrong to leave now. To leave at all. That’s what he said and we all thought. Marcelle was next to raise voice.

He said that he’s not going to leave either. That his parents have already bought tickets to the next train and that he is supposed to go with them after we finish here, but he will not. He looked at Giacco and told him that they will enlist together, they will defend our country together. We all nodded. There was little happiness about it. Then I was the one to talk.

I stood up and looked at my friends. Marcelle, Sandro and Giacco. All of them are great guys, my friends. I knew that it is my duty to stand up with them. But I felt fear. I felt that I’m not going to survive this war. I didn’t want to die. I opened my mouth, willing to speak, but I couldn’t. I was ashamed of my fear in the eyes of my best friends.

To my surprise, they didn’t get angry. Giacco approached me and hugged. He said that I don’t have to stay. That it’s best for me to leave, because when they all will do their duty I will still live to remember them. Giacco was always the talking one.

Then Sandro broke too. He said that he is scared and wants to stay, but he doesn’t want to part with his parents. Marcelle put a hand on his shoulder and told that no one would blame him for leaving. There we stood, in the glow of our burning life. Best friends together for one last time.

25 May

My dad and I have left the country. He told me that mom is already away and is waiting for us behind the border. I called Monica to tell her that I’m leaving. She didn’t answer my calls. Sandro and his parents were coming with us. Together we sat on a train and left our city. I had a feeling that I will never return here. Our train was taking us away from the clouds of black smoke.

When we crossed the border, I got a text message on my phone. It was Monica. She said that she is sorry that we couldn’t go to see a movie. I didn’t know what to reply. Cinemas were something that I couldn’t think of right now. I put away my phone, as I’ve shown my passport to the border guard. He looked angrily at my father at first. Then he saw me and looked away. We left our home.

As Sandro passed the border too, we looked back. This edge of our country looked way too peaceful for a war going on nearby. My father asked me to step aside to talk. As we walked away, someone called me. Monica, I thought. It was my mother. I answered the call. She stayed at the hospital. And we have run away.