Love From the Shadows

I could feel my heart pumping as Eric banged out the intro to “Summer Hues” and Marty started strumming the verse on his battered Martin acoustic. The first note from my P Bass resounded with dissonance throughout the venue. My brain was screaming, “Does not compute,” until I noticed Marty had placed his capo on the wrong frets once again. No problem, I was getting good at this. I smiled at Eric while I transposed the song and faded back into the pocket of his drumming. The audience started bopping to the rhythm pouring out from my heart. I loved it when people felt the beat and moved with me. I closed my eyes and disappeared into the music from the comfortable shadows at the back of the stage.

By the time we got to the chorus I realized the new key was a better fit for Marty’s voice. He cavorted across the stage as his fans cheered and screamed.

After the set, I approached Marty when we were alone.

“You know you played the song in the wrong key again.”

Marty put his arm around my shoulders and grinned.

“I know, I forgot to tell you about the change, but you still transposed it on the fly. That’s why I love you so much bro, you always find a way to make us sound better. Did you see how the fans adored me tonight?”

“Yes you nailed it tonight, and I see all your fans are waiting for you, I pray it goes well for you, I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”

He gave me a friendly chuck under the chin and headed off to the snack table surrounded by the press, flattering fans and groupies.

I caught a ride back to my room hoping the ringing in my ears would calm down so I could catch some sleep. I called Rita on the way and relaxed back into the limo seat when I heard her tender voice.

“Max, I love it when you call.”

I laughed and realized how blessed I was to be married to Rita.

“You must love it a lot because I call you so often. I miss you and the kids so much. I hope I didn’t wake them up.”

“I miss you too Max, and so do Peter and Mary. They told me to say goodnight to you and that they can’t wait to see you. I love how you always go on short tours and return home quickly to us. You still get to play music with Marty and that makes me glad. I know how much you both love playing. Besides, someone has to look out for your rascally younger brother.”

Her soft laugh sounded so sweet coming over the phone.

I fell asleep that night thanking God for my wife, my family and for Marty and the band. I prayed for Marty’s protection and for him to find peace and joy the way I have. I hoped all my years of addiction, loneliness, desperation and deliverance would give him hope too. I loved him and prayed that I would accept him as he is.

The next morning I headed up to the penthouse suite to see if Marty wanted to have some breakfast. The door was cracked open to reveal nothing but darkness in the suite. I hoped I wasn’t interrupting anything.

“Marty, are you here?”

My hesitant voice disappeared into the dim room.

I flipped on a light and gasped when I saw the room. Empty champagne bottles were scattered around the floor, furniture was overturned, broken glasses and dirty plates were strewn about the room.

“Marty, where are you?”

The only response was the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. I walked into the dark bathroom and turned on the light. The counter was covered in blood. I had to hold on to the vanity as the room spun around me. I instinctively turned off the faucet and sank into my nothing box where thinking is an option. The bathroom came back into view after several moments of mental vacuum. I snatched the hotel phone, called 911 and tapped out the seconds with my foot until I heard a human voice.

“Hello, something has happened to my brother Marty Gallagher, the room is a mess and he is missing. Send the cops over to the California Hotel right away.”

The irritatingly soothing voice told me to remain calm that the police were on their way. I paced the room as I heard the sirens approaching in the distance.

“Lord, please protect my brother and give me the peace and wisdom to follow your lead. I can’t do this on my own.”

The response was the sound of footsteps rushing up the hall.

“God, you know how frightened I am, I could use a little help here.”

A dour faced cop rushed into the room and headed straight towards me. He glanced at the mess and the bloody counter.

“I’m officer Johnson, what’s the trouble here?”

I noticed his nasal gravelly voice as I gestured around the room.

“What’s the trouble? My brother is gone and the counter is covered in blood.”

“Yup, I seen it. When was the last time you seen your brother?”

“Last night, after our gig at the Hammett Pavilion.”

Johnson paused to consider this new information.

“You mean that Marty Gallagher? The head case from the Days of Turmoil Band?”

“Yeah, that’s him.”

The stern cop just shook his head.

“I’ve heard about Gallagher and all of his shenanigans. He’s probably out on a bender with some high priced hooker. Don’t worry he’ll show up when he is done fooling around.”

My legs tingled and the sensation flowed up through my body tightening my stomach and causing a dull ache in my head. How could I get through to this judgmental, hard-headed cop that my brother was in trouble?

“I don’t think so, didn’t you notice the blood on the counter?”

“Yeah, I seen it. He probably cut himself shaving.”

“What? Cut himself shaving? Did you see how much blood is on there?”

“Calm down pal, I’ll have the boys from the lab take a peak at it.”

I knew the surly cop was not interested in finding out what happened to my brother so decided I would have to find out myself.

“Alright Johnson, do what you think is best, you can reach me at this hotel if you need to, I’m in room twenty seven.”

I decided to check with Eric and headed down to his room. He was just leaving when I got there.

“Morning dude, you look all fired. What’s up?”

“Marty is missing and I suspect foul play. Did you see him last night?”

“Yeah man, I sure did. We all went up to his room to party after the show. Right after we got there he said something about not being able to do it anymore and left. We all stayed behind and I guess it got a little out of hand.”

“Do you know why there is blood on the bathroom counter?”

“Yeah, a couple of the dudes there got into it over politics and it got pretty ugly. They were throwing punches and tearing the place up. A bunch of us ganged up on the rowdiest one and forced him out of the room. The other guy was bleeding pretty bad so he went into the bathroom and cleaned up before he left. After that I threw everyone out and went to bed in my room. Sorry about the mess.”

I heard myself sigh at the news.

“That’s good to hear, I thought something bad happened to Marty. Do you know where he went?”

“No man, he just said he couldn’t do it anymore and headed out.”

I marched down to the lobby and asked the desk clerk if she had seen my brother last night. She told me that Maria Hernandez was working last night and that she would be in at four this afternoon.

A couple was heading towards the door and overheard our conversation. They stopped and asked me if I was talking about Marty Gallagher.

“Yeah, I’m his brother, did you see him last night?”

“Yes we did, we saw him come out of the lounge and get into a cab at around midnight. He told the cabbie to take him to a meeting.”

“A meeting, what kind of meeting?”

“We don’t know what kind of meeting but there was this tall older guy with him that laughed a lot. We heard Marty call him James.”

“Okay, I’m Max Gallagher, if you remember anything else let me know.”

They both stared at me and then looked at each other.

“We loved his show last night. Are you in his band?”

“Yeah, I play bass.”

They both gave me a blank look like I was speaking a foreign language and walked off.

I went into the lounge and described James to the waiter. The waiter nodded and smiled.

“Sure, I know James, He’s a great guy. Everyone calls him Firefighter James. If you’re looking for him you’ll probably find him at the All Night Breezeshooter Cafe up the street. Head out the door and turn right, it’s only half a block away. “

I rushed out the door and headed for the cafe praying that James would be there and tell me where to find Marty. I charged into the door and shouted with joy when I saw my brother seated at a table near the back of the cafe.

“MARTY!”

My brother turned around with a smile and pulled me into a tight embrace.

“Max, I’m so glad you are here. Something amazing is happening.”

He turned to the tall grey haired man seated at the table.

“James, I want you to meet my brother Max.”

James stood up and gave me a firm handshake. He had that kind of open face that made you wonder what sort of mischief he was up to. I liked him right away.

My brother looked different. He looked joyful and serene like a man who had just been released from prison.

“We have been up all night talking. James is the only person except you who knows all my dirty little secrets and doesn’t judge me. I also know I don’t have to drink or use anymore. It’s blowing my mind.”

I heard James snort out a laugh.

“I’m not in a position to judge anyone, I’ve been telling your brother about the times I have screwed up in my life and still have been forgiven, accepted and helped by people who expected nothing in return.

We all sat down and James asked me if I would like some coffee. He held up his hand and smiled at the woman at the front counter. She strolled over with a cup of coffee for me and James handed her three bucks.

“Thanks Pattie, you’re the best.”

She grinned at James and headed back to the counter.

For the next hour I sat quietly and listened to James tell my brother about the joys of sobriety.

“Max, I could never do it on my own. It’s not about our own will power or anything else we can do except to surrender to a power greater than ourselves.”

I closed my eyes and listened to James and Marty talk about surrender and a new life from the comfortable shadows at the back of the cafe. I thanked God that Marty was moving in a new direction with his life.