The Secret Organisation {Part 2 }

Mystery Thriller

Written in response to: "Write a story about an established group of people welcoming (or not welcoming) a new face into their midst." as part of Introductions.

Mr. Bond is walking towards Ms. Em's cabin.


"Ms. Em I am thinking that in this mission, I should take a companion with me."


"Why?"


"Because in most of the mission I only go. So, this time I was thinking that some agents should come with me. So, they can experience that the mission is hard or easy. In my absence, they can do the mission."


"How you will choose the companion?"


"It's simple, we will take an audition."


"Okay, can you describe it?"


"Yes, there would be six rounds including the final round. The round will get more troublesome and more troublesome when we will move ahead with the audition. There would be different criteria to mark the agents. There would be a form that would be filled by the agents who are ready to do the mission."


"Till what time the form would be ready?"


"The form is ready, I will email it to you when I will go to my cabin."


"Who are the judges?" 


"The judges would be you and me. For more inquiry just come in my cabin."


"Okay."


Mr. Bond leaves Ms.Em's cabin.


Ms. Em receives the email in which the form and other details of the audition are there.


Dear Ms. Em, Agents from 001 - 100 [ excluding agent number 007 ]


The rules of the audition :


  1. Each agent would be marked out of 10
  2. There would be 5 audition round and 1 final round
  3. The result of the rounds would be announced when the round is over
  4. The task of the round would be announced an hour before the round starts
  5. For any inquiry email, it too - agent007.JB@MI6
  6. The audition would be held from 24/8/2020 - 31/8/2020
  7. You need to fill the form which is provided below. [ the form which would be emailed after 22/8/2020 GMT shouldn't be allowed to participate in the audition ]



SIGN UP SHEET FOR MI6 MISSION AUDITION


The place where this * is compulsory to fill :


Name* :

Agent Number* :

Date Of Birth* :

Email I’d [of MI6]* :

Phone Code* :

Medical Issues* :

Expert In Any Form Of Art :


Once the form is filled, email it to - agent007.JB@MI6


Thanks & Regards

Agent number 007


Mr. Bond types 746846694695 on the keyboard of his computer.


It's a secret number to call Ms. Em.


Ms. Em picks up the phone and says "Agent no. 007, should I come to your cabin?"


"Yes, Ms. Em."


"Ms. Em, we got all the agents form. Let's see how well your agents do.


It's the day for the first round of the audition.


Ms. Em comes and tells a speech, she says " Welcome to the first-ever audition for MI6. Mr. Bond has kept this audition for selecting a companion for his newest mission. You all would be thinking that Mr. Bond is sacred to go for a mission. In this case, you are wrong. Mr. Bond has kept the audition to see who can go for the mission in his absence. Let's start."


"In the first round, you will be given 5 situations, you need to write the answers in an email and send it to agent007.JB@MI6 and in this round only 70 people would be chosen from 100"


The situations are:

  • If you have an enemy which has 5 bodyguards and you have just 1 bullet left what would you do?
  • How you would jump in the water from 10,000 ft?
  • Where to shoot a built on a person?
  • How to treat a cannibal?
  • How you choke a person with a belt?

The email should come in 15 minutes to Mr. Bond and we will tell the results after 30 minutes.


The agents you have crossed the round 1 are :

  1. agent no. 003
  2. agent no. 005
  3. agent no. 009
  4. agent no. 012
  5. agent no. 015
  6. agent no. 019
  7. agent no. 024
  8. agent no. 027
  9. agent no. 028
  10. agent no. 030
  11. agent no. 033
  12. agent no. 037
  13. agent no. 047
  14. agent no. 048
  15. agent no. 049
  16. agent no. 050
  17. agent no. 054
  18. agent no. 056
  19. agent no. 058
  20. agent no. 062
  21. agent no. 064
  22. agent no. 066
  23. agent no. 071
  24. agent no. 072
  25. agent no. 073
  26. agent no. 088
  27. agent no. 084
  28. agent no. 085
  29. agent no. 086
  30. agent no. 087
  31. agent no. 081
  32. agent no. 082
  33. agent no. 083
  34. agent no. 089
  35. agent no. 090
  36. agent no. 091
  37. agent no. 092
  38. agent no. 093
  39. agent no. 094
  40. agent no. 095
  41. agent no. 096
  42. agent no. 097
  43. agent no. 098
  44. agent no. 099
  45. agent no. 100
  46. agent no. 001
  47. agent no. 002
  48. agent no. 004
  49. agent no. 006
  50. agent no. 048
  51. agent no. 008
  52. agent no. 010
  53. agent no. 011
  54. agent no. 013
  55. agent no. 014
  56. agent no. 016
  57. agent no. 017
  58. agent no. 018
  59. agent no. 020
  60. agent no. 021
  61. agent no. 022
  62. agent no. 023
  63. agent no. 025
  64. agent no. 026
  65. agent no. 075
  66. agent no. 074
  67. agent no. 078
  68. agent no. 079
  69. agent no. 070
  70. agent no. 069


It's the day for the round 2


"In the second round, you need to shoot 6 bullets on the dummy were the sign % this is there. There would be a gap of 2 meters between the dummy and the agent."


All the agents come one by one and perform the task. from this round, only 40 agents would be qualified for the next round.


Mr.Bond comes up and says the agents who have qualified for the next round are :

  1. agent no. 081
  2. agent no. 082
  3. agent no. 083
  4. agent no. 089
  5. agent no. 090
  6. agent no. 091
  7. agent no. 092
  8. agent no. 093
  9. agent no. 094
  10. agent no. 095
  11. agent no. 096
  12. agent no. 097
  13. agent no. 098
  14. agent no. 099
  15. agent no. 100
  16. agent no. 001
  17. agent no. 002
  18. agent no. 004
  19. agent no. 006
  20. agent no. 048
  21. agent no. 008
  22. agent no. 010
  23. agent no. 011
  24. agent no. 013
  25. agent no. 014
  26. agent no. 016
  27. agent no. 017
  28. agent no. 018
  29. agent no. 020
  30. agent no. 021
  31. agent no. 022
  32. agent no. 023
  33. agent no. 025
  34. agent no. 026
  35. agent no. 075
  36. agent no. 074
  37. agent no. 078
  38. agent no. 079
  39. agent no. 070
  40. agent no. 069


The days past by the final round of the audition came only 10 agents were able to get in the final round. 


The agents who qualified for the final round are :

  1. agent no. 022
  2. agent no. 023
  3. agent no. 025
  4. agent no. 026
  5. agent no. 075
  6. agent no. 074
  7. agent no. 078
  8. agent no. 079
  9. agent no. 070
  10. agent no. 069


"In the final round, you need to solve a situation you will get a code when you enter the answer if it's wrong you will get the code but will get a penalty of 30 seconds. Then you will go to a locker and take the gun. The gun will have 7 bullets. All the seven bullets you need to shoot 7 dummy's head. The dummies would be moving. When you have crossed it then you will open the cage from the code which you got at starting. There you will find the flag bring back to us. We will note the time. all the best!"


The round starts. 


  1. agent no. 022 did the task in 4.56 minutes
  2. agent no. 023 did the task in 3.45 minutes
  3. agent no. 025 did the task in 5.56 minutes
  4. agent no. 026 did the task in 6.56 minutes
  5. agent no. 075 did the task in 2. 45 minutes
  6. agent no. 074 did the task in 7. 45 minutes
  7. agent no. 078 did the task in 5.45 minutes
  8. agent no. 079 did the task in 7.35 minutes
  9. agent no. 070 did the task in 3.14 minutes
  10. agent no. 069 did the task in 4.59 minutes


Agent no. 075 yelled, "I am the winner."


"You haven't won yet because I have decided that local people will also take part in the winner. The person whom I have called is Mr. Amogh. He will do the same task. Then if he does faster you would be the companion who will go with me."


Amogh does the task. He completed the task in 1.56 minutes.


"The companion who will go with me is Amogh and from now he is an official member of MI6. He is an agent from now and his number is 101.


The audition gets over and MI6 gets a new agent. 


The companion who will go with the agent no. 007 is AMOGH.





Posted Aug 24, 2020
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94 likes 229 comments

Authoring Studio
August 24, 2020 14:15

It's a good read!
I have a few suggestions, but I noticed others had already mentioned them. So, I'll jump to the one which hasn't been told yet.
"Expert In Any Form Of Art." In this, 'expertise' might have brought out the meaning better than just 'expert' (It's just a suggestion. Your sentence is fine too).
That's all. Keep writing! :D

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 14:17

धन्यवाद

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:57

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Niveeidha Palani
August 24, 2020 22:03

Well-written. But remember, you're not writing a factual essay, don't add to many bullet points, it loses the thread of the story. One more thing; too many agents on the list. Since you didn't name the agents, it will be appropriate to just write down how many agents there were.

You could have written (for example), "There were about 20-40 agents that had qualified."

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 05:02

Thanks and I will work on it

Reply

Niveeidha Palani
August 25, 2020 06:20

No problem, glad to help :)

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 06:38

Please continue to help me

Reply

Niveeidha Palani
August 25, 2020 06:46

I'm sorry, I don't get you.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 07:29

I meant that when ever I submit a story please read and comment

Reply

Great story, really hooked me in!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
September 02, 2020 11:01

thanks

Reply

Najwa Zandlo
August 29, 2020 22:58

I haven’t read part 1 yet, but I do like the way this is written. It’s very technical (with the use of the forms and instructions and agent numbers, etc) but not in a way that’s overwhelming to the reader. Like some of the others, I think focusing on more dialogue might be helpful, especially to people who have tuned in for pt 2 without reading pt 1. But overall, it’s an interesting take!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 05:43

thanks and I will work on it

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Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:51

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

August 25, 2020 20:49

Hey, James. You did a good job with the storyline, but I think that you could have shortened the audition agent no. list and added more story to it. You also had grammatical/punctuation errors throughout the story that made it hard to read. Overall, this story was good, but could be even better if you just went through and fixed all of those little tiny mistakes.
Keep writing and stay healthy,
Brooke D.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 26, 2020 05:09

thanks and I will work on it

Reply

August 26, 2020 12:31

You're welcome.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 27, 2020 04:58

Thanks for including in your Bio and I have changed my name so if you want to change in your bio please change

Reply

August 27, 2020 11:12

It's my pleasure! I'll go ahead and do that.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 28, 2020 01:47

Thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:54

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

August 31, 2020 20:09

Okay!

Reply

Orenda .
August 25, 2020 10:00

Okay I'm here again lol 'cause i felt the need to say something else. Not meaning to be rude at all, but you might want to edit the mistakes and suggestions we have pointed out in here (no need to change the agent list, but in fact, the words and typos) well before your story gets approved. Mainly, when you get a feedback suggesting some corrections, you usually edit them out as soon as possible before others can read it. Have a great day!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 10:39

Thanks and I will work on it

Reply

Orenda .
August 25, 2020 10:40

np

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:54

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Orenda .
August 30, 2020 11:26

I shall when I have time.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 11:44

ok

Reply

Sia S
August 25, 2020 05:34

It was nice! Just don't include so many numbers.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 05:34

I know there are many numbers

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:54

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Len Mooring
August 24, 2020 22:01

Inventive. Check spelling. Mr Bond is more scared than sacred.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 05:02

Thanks and I will work on it

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:55

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Charles Stucker
August 24, 2020 19:31

I'm sorry, but this is not the story. The story is about Amogh either fitting in or not. You should have him appear, a local summoned out of the blue, not knowing what is going to happen but told (briefly) what to do. When he beats the best agent's time, he needs to talk with them in the locker room before meeting with 007 and M. That could make a good story, the tale of how Amogh managed to convince all these veteran agents he was actually a fit peer for them. What you have right now is too much forms and lists and not enough people interacting.

The other choice is start with 007 and M in her office, he says, "looks like Perlman, agent seventy-five, won the competition." and M instead introduces Amogh, who then has a frank discussion with Bond and M, then they go out and he (Amogh) gets a friendly word from Moneypenny, and afterwards they head down to Q's labs for gear. where Amogh, again, interacts with one of the established crew.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 04:51

Thanks and I will work on it

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:55

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 14:03

जिस किसी को हमारी स्टोरी पस्सांड आइई क्रिप्यआ लाइक करे

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 14:04

यह हमारी नैशनल लैंग्विज हे

Reply

B. W.
August 24, 2020 13:27

You did really great with it, im not good with giving advice but i guess its still like the others with the agent numbers. 10/10.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 13:50

धन्यवाद

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:51

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Doubra Akika
August 24, 2020 13:15

This was really good! Like the other people in the comments said just a lot of agent numbers. But it was really nice!
Please keep writing and stay safe!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 14:01

धन्यवाद

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:51

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Akshat .
August 24, 2020 12:29

This is a nice sequel to The Secret Organization! My only criteria is that you shouldn't include so many agent numbers. But overall it's a very good story!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 12:31

Same here I was just thinking the same that I have put many agent no, that's why I wrote about two rounds and then just jumped to final round

Reply

Akshat .
August 24, 2020 12:36

I suggest editing some of those out.

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Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 13:57

हम हिंदी की लीपी हमीरे मैकबुक में डाला

Reply

Akshat .
August 24, 2020 14:03

Um ... what?

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 14:06

अक्षत यू नीड़ तो लर्न हिंदी आ लाट हम मिस पूनम को बोमें

Reply

Orenda .
August 24, 2020 15:44

Obviously, you dont have to write about every round. It isnt at all necessary. Two rounds in brief is alright:))

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 17:05

Thanks as I did the sane

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 17:05

Same

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:51

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Batool Hussain
August 24, 2020 12:33

I agree with Akshat. This is a good story but don't add too many numbers as there are more numbers and less words. Overall, quite a good job:)

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 12:39

Thank you but I will not edit because there I have skipped some rounds

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 12:40

Batool can you tell were do you leave if you want

Reply

Batool Hussain
August 24, 2020 12:40

I'm sorry I don't understand. Where do I Ieave? Meaning?

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 12:42

It means in which country you live

Reply

Batool Hussain
August 24, 2020 13:08

Oh I prefer not telling that. I'm sorry.

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B. W.
October 22, 2020 22:50

10/10 :)

Reply

Arvind Kashyap
September 03, 2020 08:05

Think over these points
1.tells a speech- should be delivered a speech
2. Is newest a word. I suppose new itself is latest.
3. spelling in built a person- should be bullet.
4. tell the result- proper declare result.
5. Agents you have crossed the round- should be agents who have cleared round 1.
Avoid giving detailed list of names or codes being irrelevant for reader.
6. flag bring back- should be- bring the flag/ bring the flag back.
Try to find more errors and improve upon same.
Nice plot, keep writing.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
September 04, 2020 02:08

thanks and I will work on it please read part 3

Reply

. .
September 03, 2020 06:04

Great story

Reply

Amogh Kasat
September 04, 2020 02:07

thanks please read part 3

Reply

. .
September 04, 2020 02:08

Okay, sure I'll read it in a sec!

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Amogh Kasat
September 04, 2020 02:09

thanks

Reply

. .
September 04, 2020 02:10

Np!

Reply

Deborah Angevin
August 28, 2020 22:08

As others have mentioned, the long list of agent caught my eye too. Overall, a unique take on the prompt!

P.S: would you mind checking my recent story out, "The Purple Sash"? Thank you :D

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 29, 2020 05:23

THANKS AND SURE. I WOULD DO AFTER SOMETIME AS I AM GOING WRITE PARTS THAT ARE COMING AHEAD

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:51

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Anja Z
August 28, 2020 11:38

Great script. Its feels like your writing a script to be performed more than a story if you get what I'm saying.
But great job :)

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 28, 2020 11:59

Thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:53

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Greg Gillis
August 28, 2020 09:26

I am a Bond fan, so the story piqued my interest, but there were several grammatical errors in your translation. Nicely done otherwise.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 28, 2020 10:52

thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:53

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

August 27, 2020 22:40

Hello! You asked me to read, so here I am! Honestly, I found this a bit hard to follow (maybe because of the way it was formatted, or the rows of agent's numbers in the middle). That being said, Mr Bond's email address made me chuckle, and so did the 'twist' ending

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 28, 2020 01:49

Thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:53

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Kristin Neubauer
August 27, 2020 16:06

I like this continuation! Well done!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 28, 2020 01:48

thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:53

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Roland Aucoin
August 27, 2020 12:49

Sorry for the name-mash, Amogh. I like your story. You got enough feedback on the agent lists, so I will leave that. Your characters were good but would improve if their dialogue were more in character. For instance, Bond never used 'Ms. EM' to address 'M'. He usually used the English 'Ma'am'. 'M' never used 'Mr. Bond'; she called him 'Bond', and rarely 'James'. Also, some of your phrasings are awkward.

Your sentence "The days past by the final round of the audition came only 10 agents were able to get in the final round. " should be something like "As the days for the final round passed, only 10 agents got through."

The idea for the story is good. You need to get a better handle on our difficult English. :)

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 28, 2020 01:48

thanks and I will work on it

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:53

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Tim Law
August 26, 2020 23:21

An interesting concept. There were a few grammatical errors but the gist of the story is clear. I’d agree with the comments about repetition of the numbers but also accept you do your way. Well done.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 27, 2020 04:54

Thanks and I will work on it

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:53

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Keerththan 😀
August 26, 2020 09:58

That was wonderful. Great job.
Would you mind reading some of mine and upvote me? Thanks.
(I would do the same to you)

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 27, 2020 04:53

Yes

Reply

Keerththan 😀
August 27, 2020 05:27

Done for your stories. Please read my new story. (if you can, please upvote)

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 27, 2020 06:12

SURE

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:54

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Keerththan 😀
September 05, 2020 01:15

Please read my new story.

Reply

Leya Newi
August 25, 2020 21:00

I thought this was a very good story. I would suggest checking out grammarly, since there were several typos that distracted from the story. Anyway, continue writing!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 26, 2020 05:09

Thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:54

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

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