The Secret Organisation {Part 2 }

Mystery Thriller

Written in response to: "Write a story about an established group of people welcoming (or not welcoming) a new face into their midst." as part of Introductions.

Mr. Bond is walking towards Ms. Em's cabin.


"Ms. Em I am thinking that in this mission, I should take a companion with me."


"Why?"


"Because in most of the mission I only go. So, this time I was thinking that some agents should come with me. So, they can experience that the mission is hard or easy. In my absence, they can do the mission."


"How you will choose the companion?"


"It's simple, we will take an audition."


"Okay, can you describe it?"


"Yes, there would be six rounds including the final round. The round will get more troublesome and more troublesome when we will move ahead with the audition. There would be different criteria to mark the agents. There would be a form that would be filled by the agents who are ready to do the mission."


"Till what time the form would be ready?"


"The form is ready, I will email it to you when I will go to my cabin."


"Who are the judges?" 


"The judges would be you and me. For more inquiry just come in my cabin."


"Okay."


Mr. Bond leaves Ms.Em's cabin.


Ms. Em receives the email in which the form and other details of the audition are there.


Dear Ms. Em, Agents from 001 - 100 [ excluding agent number 007 ]


The rules of the audition :


  1. Each agent would be marked out of 10
  2. There would be 5 audition round and 1 final round
  3. The result of the rounds would be announced when the round is over
  4. The task of the round would be announced an hour before the round starts
  5. For any inquiry email, it too - agent007.JB@MI6
  6. The audition would be held from 24/8/2020 - 31/8/2020
  7. You need to fill the form which is provided below. [ the form which would be emailed after 22/8/2020 GMT shouldn't be allowed to participate in the audition ]



SIGN UP SHEET FOR MI6 MISSION AUDITION


The place where this * is compulsory to fill :


Name* :

Agent Number* :

Date Of Birth* :

Email I’d [of MI6]* :

Phone Code* :

Medical Issues* :

Expert In Any Form Of Art :


Once the form is filled, email it to - agent007.JB@MI6


Thanks & Regards

Agent number 007


Mr. Bond types 746846694695 on the keyboard of his computer.


It's a secret number to call Ms. Em.


Ms. Em picks up the phone and says "Agent no. 007, should I come to your cabin?"


"Yes, Ms. Em."


"Ms. Em, we got all the agents form. Let's see how well your agents do.


It's the day for the first round of the audition.


Ms. Em comes and tells a speech, she says " Welcome to the first-ever audition for MI6. Mr. Bond has kept this audition for selecting a companion for his newest mission. You all would be thinking that Mr. Bond is sacred to go for a mission. In this case, you are wrong. Mr. Bond has kept the audition to see who can go for the mission in his absence. Let's start."


"In the first round, you will be given 5 situations, you need to write the answers in an email and send it to agent007.JB@MI6 and in this round only 70 people would be chosen from 100"


The situations are:

  • If you have an enemy which has 5 bodyguards and you have just 1 bullet left what would you do?
  • How you would jump in the water from 10,000 ft?
  • Where to shoot a built on a person?
  • How to treat a cannibal?
  • How you choke a person with a belt?

The email should come in 15 minutes to Mr. Bond and we will tell the results after 30 minutes.


The agents you have crossed the round 1 are :

  1. agent no. 003
  2. agent no. 005
  3. agent no. 009
  4. agent no. 012
  5. agent no. 015
  6. agent no. 019
  7. agent no. 024
  8. agent no. 027
  9. agent no. 028
  10. agent no. 030
  11. agent no. 033
  12. agent no. 037
  13. agent no. 047
  14. agent no. 048
  15. agent no. 049
  16. agent no. 050
  17. agent no. 054
  18. agent no. 056
  19. agent no. 058
  20. agent no. 062
  21. agent no. 064
  22. agent no. 066
  23. agent no. 071
  24. agent no. 072
  25. agent no. 073
  26. agent no. 088
  27. agent no. 084
  28. agent no. 085
  29. agent no. 086
  30. agent no. 087
  31. agent no. 081
  32. agent no. 082
  33. agent no. 083
  34. agent no. 089
  35. agent no. 090
  36. agent no. 091
  37. agent no. 092
  38. agent no. 093
  39. agent no. 094
  40. agent no. 095
  41. agent no. 096
  42. agent no. 097
  43. agent no. 098
  44. agent no. 099
  45. agent no. 100
  46. agent no. 001
  47. agent no. 002
  48. agent no. 004
  49. agent no. 006
  50. agent no. 048
  51. agent no. 008
  52. agent no. 010
  53. agent no. 011
  54. agent no. 013
  55. agent no. 014
  56. agent no. 016
  57. agent no. 017
  58. agent no. 018
  59. agent no. 020
  60. agent no. 021
  61. agent no. 022
  62. agent no. 023
  63. agent no. 025
  64. agent no. 026
  65. agent no. 075
  66. agent no. 074
  67. agent no. 078
  68. agent no. 079
  69. agent no. 070
  70. agent no. 069


It's the day for the round 2


"In the second round, you need to shoot 6 bullets on the dummy were the sign % this is there. There would be a gap of 2 meters between the dummy and the agent."


All the agents come one by one and perform the task. from this round, only 40 agents would be qualified for the next round.


Mr.Bond comes up and says the agents who have qualified for the next round are :

  1. agent no. 081
  2. agent no. 082
  3. agent no. 083
  4. agent no. 089
  5. agent no. 090
  6. agent no. 091
  7. agent no. 092
  8. agent no. 093
  9. agent no. 094
  10. agent no. 095
  11. agent no. 096
  12. agent no. 097
  13. agent no. 098
  14. agent no. 099
  15. agent no. 100
  16. agent no. 001
  17. agent no. 002
  18. agent no. 004
  19. agent no. 006
  20. agent no. 048
  21. agent no. 008
  22. agent no. 010
  23. agent no. 011
  24. agent no. 013
  25. agent no. 014
  26. agent no. 016
  27. agent no. 017
  28. agent no. 018
  29. agent no. 020
  30. agent no. 021
  31. agent no. 022
  32. agent no. 023
  33. agent no. 025
  34. agent no. 026
  35. agent no. 075
  36. agent no. 074
  37. agent no. 078
  38. agent no. 079
  39. agent no. 070
  40. agent no. 069


The days past by the final round of the audition came only 10 agents were able to get in the final round. 


The agents who qualified for the final round are :

  1. agent no. 022
  2. agent no. 023
  3. agent no. 025
  4. agent no. 026
  5. agent no. 075
  6. agent no. 074
  7. agent no. 078
  8. agent no. 079
  9. agent no. 070
  10. agent no. 069


"In the final round, you need to solve a situation you will get a code when you enter the answer if it's wrong you will get the code but will get a penalty of 30 seconds. Then you will go to a locker and take the gun. The gun will have 7 bullets. All the seven bullets you need to shoot 7 dummy's head. The dummies would be moving. When you have crossed it then you will open the cage from the code which you got at starting. There you will find the flag bring back to us. We will note the time. all the best!"


The round starts. 


  1. agent no. 022 did the task in 4.56 minutes
  2. agent no. 023 did the task in 3.45 minutes
  3. agent no. 025 did the task in 5.56 minutes
  4. agent no. 026 did the task in 6.56 minutes
  5. agent no. 075 did the task in 2. 45 minutes
  6. agent no. 074 did the task in 7. 45 minutes
  7. agent no. 078 did the task in 5.45 minutes
  8. agent no. 079 did the task in 7.35 minutes
  9. agent no. 070 did the task in 3.14 minutes
  10. agent no. 069 did the task in 4.59 minutes


Agent no. 075 yelled, "I am the winner."


"You haven't won yet because I have decided that local people will also take part in the winner. The person whom I have called is Mr. Amogh. He will do the same task. Then if he does faster you would be the companion who will go with me."


Amogh does the task. He completed the task in 1.56 minutes.


"The companion who will go with me is Amogh and from now he is an official member of MI6. He is an agent from now and his number is 101.


The audition gets over and MI6 gets a new agent. 


The companion who will go with the agent no. 007 is AMOGH.





Posted Aug 24, 2020
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94 likes 229 comments

Lily Kingston
August 25, 2020 17:49

Great story. I like the criteria for the different rounds. Keep up the good work and keep writing!!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 26, 2020 05:10

thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:54

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Sia S
August 25, 2020 05:36

Any new karma points?

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 05:39

yes

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 05:39

please do more

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 05:41

I told you because I am in top 100 now

Reply

The Cold Ice
August 25, 2020 05:18

Super. Great job👍
Would you mind to read my story
“The dragon warrior?”

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 05:33

yes sure

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:50

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Laurentz Baker
August 25, 2020 01:24

I'm glad you're still writing, but I'd like to see the continuation of 007's mission, more gadgets, more rendezvous in exotic locales with sharp, fast sports cars fighting against the enemy with Em, Amogh and/or some of those other agents you have listed. Looking forward to the next installment.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 04:58

Yup if I get a good prompt on which I can continue I will write it

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:55

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Daryl Gravesande
August 25, 2020 01:23

I LOVE THIS STORY, it very unique and an exquisite take on the prompt! :)

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 04:58

Thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:55

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Avani G
August 24, 2020 22:53

I love this! You should definitely make a Part 3!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 05:00

I will write if a prompt comes that can suit the story

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:55

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Yolanda Wu
August 24, 2020 22:24

This was a really nice and interesting story. Well done!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 05:01

Thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:55

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Jane Andrews
August 24, 2020 22:19

Hi Amogh. You asked me to read your story and I think
my comments are probably similar to a lot of others - try not to fill in story space with long lists of agents and their numbers; you could perhaps focus on five or six potential agents and flesh them out a little, which would add interest to your story; also, I like the way that you write yourself into the story as a character, but again, it would be good to be given a little more detail here about the other potentials’ attitude towards you (don’t forget the prompt here) and yours towards them. There’s lots of potential here - it just needs a little less listing and a little more story. Well done for thinking up an interesting idea and running with it.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 05:01

Thanks and I will work on it

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:55

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Kathleen March
August 24, 2020 21:57

With all due respect, there were too many numbers for me. I love the idea of playing with the short story genre, but surely you can shorten the lists. They do not add to the narrative tension. Keep working on the grammar and spelling. It's important if you are going to be writing in English. I do admire your effort!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 05:03

Thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:55

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Avery G.
August 24, 2020 19:24

Hi! Cool story! I liked the plot! Great job!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 04:51

Thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:56

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

August 24, 2020 19:16

Clever, but the number list is exhausting! Give us more description and dialogue :)

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 04:52

I know about numbers and thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:56

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Phebe Emmanuel
August 24, 2020 17:24

This is really great, but I second Roshna. The list is much too long, so it seems almost like a filling. If you removed that and added more storyline to it, then it would be much better.
It might also be better if you showed vs. told. E.g. "Mr. Bond is going towards Ms. Em's cabin." You could try something like "Mr.Bond treks up the winding trail to Em's steady log cabin." See?
And when writing something that a character is reading, such as an email, you should italicize the words.
I hope I'm not coming across as mean, but if you fix these things before the contest is over, then it really has a lot of potential.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 04:56

Thanks and I will work on it

Reply

Phebe Emmanuel
August 25, 2020 06:53

:)

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 07:30

:)

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:56

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

August 24, 2020 15:28

Great story. Well done.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 17:02

Thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:56

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Hriday Saboo
August 24, 2020 13:55

I have submitted my new story
Pls read it

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 13:58

अवश्य

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:57

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

X Y
September 16, 2020 21:15

Hey there,

I really liked the concept and the overall story. I felt like you added too many agents to the list and ten should really be the max number, especially since none of them are named. Overall though, this was a good read and kept me occupied the entire time. It was very gripping and I'm looking forward to reading the next story in this series! :)

Reply

Amogh Kasat
September 17, 2020 02:12

thanks and I will work on it

Reply

Corey Melin
August 26, 2020 04:25

Very well done on the Bond story. Sean Connery actually just turned 90 years old. One of the better Bonds. Good read

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 26, 2020 05:08

thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:54

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 05:40

Guys, I am in top 100

Reply

Jesna Anna S.
August 25, 2020 05:02

Good story! But the agent numbers can be reduced. Keep writing!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 05:04

I know that there are too many agent no

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:55

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

D. Shikha
September 11, 2020 17:35

Amogh, you're replying to yourself only.

Anyways, nice story!!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
September 12, 2020 04:02

thanks

Reply

D. Shikha
September 12, 2020 07:09

:-)

Reply

James Offenha
August 24, 2020 18:17

Good story. What’s at stake if 007 doesn’t get a partner? I’d keep this story in the present tense. Also, all the characters were flat. I didn’t feel like I knew any of them. The long list of names didn’t keep my interest. I want to be rooting for someone. Who could I be rooting for?

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 04:53

Thanks and I will work on it

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:56

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Evelyn ⭐️
August 24, 2020 17:13

Great story! I realized this was a part 2, so before reading this I read the first one. I loved them both! Outstanding job and I can't wait for your next story!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 25, 2020 03:58

Thanks

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:56

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Roland Aucoin
August 24, 2020 16:59

Interesting tale, Amogh. You show an expansive mind. But I found your story difficult to read due to phrasing and word choices. These help writing flow and read easily.

Obviously, you have seen Bond movies with 'M' as head of MI6. Seeing these characters and writing their dialogue you should stay within their styles of speech. For instance, Bond never says "Ms. Em". He always asks about 'M', and responds to her with "M" or "Ma'am".

Also word choice: "... I only go." should be "... I go alone."
"we will take an audition" > "we will have (or hold) an audition". Enough people commented on the extensive 'agent' lists.

"Till what time the form would be ready" > "When will the form be ready"

You have several other instances like these. English is a difficult language indeed. Be patient. Keep writing. :)

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 17:10

Thanks and I will work on it

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:56

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Lynn Penny
August 24, 2020 15:42

This is a very unique take to this idea. I hope to see more of this.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 17:05

Thanksy

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:56

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Orenda .
August 24, 2020 15:39

I really enjoyed it and I like how you put your name in there. That's cool, but I'll point out some mistakes:

1. "Where to shoot a built on a person?"
- 'built' should be BULLET. And 'on' is an incorrect preposition. It should AT. You shoot bullets at a person.

2. "The round will get more troublesome and more troublesome"
- no need to add 'more troublesome' twice as it in itself shows the degree.

3. And as most people are saying here to omit the excessive use of agent numbers, you might want to actually reduce them. I know it's difficult since the story will get shorter, but it actually distracts the reader and you could add in just a few lines. That's it.
Dont mind me pointing out the mistakes pls, it's just to help you out to become a better writer. Peace out:)))

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 17:03

Thanks and I will work on it

Reply

Orenda .
August 24, 2020 17:19

No problem:))

Reply

August 24, 2020 15:20

This was a great story! Very well written. The only thing I suggest, like others, is to edit out the excess agent numbers. Whether you think the story needs it, it still adds unnecessary words that take away from the actual story.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 17:02

Thanks I know that the numbers are too much

Reply

August 24, 2020 18:14

No problem!

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 30, 2020 08:56

Please read part 3 that I have submitted

Reply

Roshna Rusiniya
August 24, 2020 14:35

I haven’t read the first part yet. This is well-written. But the agent number list is overdone. If you remove that and add more story in the form of descriptions or dialogues, it would look so much better.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 14:36

I understand that there are many people agent no. But it's audition so I need to write

Reply

Roshna Rusiniya
August 24, 2020 14:41

I understand your point. You could shorten it. Instead of writing 1,2,3,4— you could put 1-25 or something like that. Just a suggestion since you asked me to read your story.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 17:00

Thanks for the idea but I want to stick with this

Reply

Roshna Rusiniya
August 24, 2020 17:07

Your story. So of course you will be the one making the decisions. Thanks for asking me to read.

Reply

Amogh Kasat
August 24, 2020 17:11

Please ask me to read your story

Reply

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