Farewell Teddy Roseline

What can be worse than death? Having everybody watch your dead body. A dead body full of secrets. Today, we have a funeral for Teddy Roseline. He was 40 years old who appears as a standup guy: tall, good-looking, beautiful wife, wore a suit where he goes to work. He could be described as the typical all-American man. So how in the world could he have died young? Word on the street is he supposedly committed suicide. The question is why. For a man who had it all what was missing in his life? Maybe the answers will be answered. It is a tragedy for the family who loved him dearly. His grieving wife, Merideth, keeping her head down wearing black valet. Her side of the family by her side showing sympathy.

His side of the family tearing up a storm. His sister Janet approaches his widow giving a warm hug. His best friend Bob from childhood shows up to give the widow his prayers. Another man named Paul, a tall, boardy figure approaches Bod shaking his hand. Bob is a little hesitant, ‘What are you doing here?’ he asks. “Hey, I came to pay my respects” Paul replies. Bob cringes at Paul as though he said an insult but goes along to not cause a scene. Paul has two friends standing behind him, Randy and John, with their heads down, Paul adds, ‘they too came for moral support, such a tragedy’. Bob warns them not to be conspicuous. The family wonders to Bob who are those men. Bob explains he and Teddy worked with them at an office.

The music begins. Everybody takes their seats. Janet sits with Randy who makes a comment about her beauty. She takes in the compliment. As the music continues with the coffin front and center showing Teddy lying dead inside, family members start tearing, and some are praying. Merideth is standing strong trying not to break down. The minister walks up to the podium observing everybody around the seats, smiles, and begins giving a eulogy. He gives a speech that Teddy was a wonderful human being, a kind man to which point his sister goes “huh” then a few heads marveling the fact that was rude. However, the minister continues to say Teddy was hardworking, and a faithful husband to which there’s some snickering from Bob and Merideth. Heads turned into disgust with such rigorous. Even with such unnecessary disturbance the minister continues explaining how Teddy always took care of his money to which Paul and his buddies laugh. Teddy’s side of the family are in horror. Merideth’s side of the family is turning to her but she gestures to ignore.

At this point the minister is unsure what to do though he takes a moment then continues his speech about how Teddy will be missed. His side of the family turned to the six characters with glares. They all say nothing. Bob gestures to the minister keep going. The minister continues by making a plea of disruption instead of scolding it’s all right to laugh, it’s part of grieving. Perhaps Teddy had a sense of humor too, maybe he wasn’t perfect, but he will be missed. Everybody is in prayer may Teddy go with God up in heaven looking down seeing his loved ones. Paul whispers to his buddies if he were alive, he’d gone the other way. Randy and John smile. Janet wonders what they meant because she overheard. Randy smiles at her but she is no longer taking the bait.

The service of over. Everybody goes outside to mingle. Teddy’s family members confront Bob and Merideth, what the heck was that about? Not to mention his own sister joining in the snickering with such disrespect by someone who took his life. Bob takes the lead into explaining Teddy Roseline wasn’t the man they thought he was. Merideth apologizes too, but she couldn’t hold her tongue when the minister called Teddy faithful considering he had an affair. His family is shocked. She knew it’s been going on for a while because Bob accidentally told her one day when he visited them. Janet is in shock as well because she knows why she’s mad at Teddy.

Teddy’s sister is really his half-sister because her mother is a different mother, so the apple doesn’t fall from the tree. They had an estrange relationship because he blames her for the affair. How? Perhaps just seeing her face resembling the other woman or in his eyes her mother as a whore. Her face gives him the eek. Now knowing he’s exactly like their dad makes it worse. Randy puts his arm around her for comfort, but she rejects the affection. John pulls him away. The family members wonder who are these other men that laughed during the ceremony. Bob has no choice but to explain: Teddy was a gambler and this man is his loan shark, Paul. Paul gives a friendly wave to the crowd. They wave back awkwardly. Paul’s buddies Randy and John were supposed to kill Teddy for not paying back a huge sum of money, but the truth is he committed suicide to avoid getting beaten to death.

Either Teddy will die from murder, or he takes his own life to avoid pain? Paul comments ‘tough act to follow’ and apologizes. A cousin of Teddy always suspected Teddy was a little odd he liked going to strip clubs. Merideth rolls her eyes unsurprised. An aunt of Teddy brings up Teddy used to bet on teams during the Superbowl. What really set the tone is Bob admits Teddy accidently killed someone and that someone turned out to be the husband of the woman Teddy had an affair with. Even Merideth didn’t know that. Of course, that was self-defense, the husband came at him with a gun. When Teddy tried to grab the gun away from the husband, he pulled the trigger but the trigger as aiming at the husband not Teddy. Teddy asks Bob to bury the body down a river where no one will know what happened until now. So, everyone takes in all the information overwhelmed by these secrets Teddy’s been living as though he had a double life. A few seconds roll by and everybody pretty much pretends it’s just another funeral. Everyone starts leaving then Janet whispers to Merideth, “Are you and Bob a thing?” and Merideth response, “Teddy had his secrets and I had mine.”

Note: In no way this is mocking suicide nor Religion. It's just a dark comedy.