Tammy

Sunday, December 8th, 1975, Roger Staubach threw a pass to Drew Pearson to lift the Cowboys over the Vikings in the NFL playoffs, infamously remembered as the Hail Mary. But for me, that next day, my Hail Mary prayer was for Tammy. She was all I wanted for Christmas. God, I couldn’t get her out of my mind or enough of her. She loved that jolly rancher green apple hard candy and the song, Bennie and the Jets by Elton John. I rode my sister’s banana bike over to her apartment faster than a jet as soon as she was home from school. I was 13 and she was a tease at 14 but had a body like she was 18. I didn’t drink but was able to buy 3/2 beer myself at that age due to me having to shave prematurely, a fake ID and the overconfidence of almost reaching puberty. I had already gotten in enough fights at my age with jealous older punk asses in the neighborhood who were also her courtiers. The last thing I was looking forward to, was fighting with her stepfather and having him catch me in his bed and seeing those familiar stars in my head or worse. He was called Mr. Giordano, a tough-guy body-builder barber with big black bushy eyebrows who seemingly had one eye set higher in his skull. He scared the shit out of me. But the thought of her overwhelmed and overtook me, I was so spaced out, as the reward outweighed the risk. She was like a neon sign lustily drawing me in, hypnotized by her and her free hard candy, I couldn’t resist as I knew that her parents wouldn’t be home for another hour.

My biggest rival in the neighborhood was Doug. He was a year older, a quiet sort and never appeared to antagonize or confront me. He wasn’t threatened by me, nor was I him. I liked him, but we really weren’t friends. He didn’t look like he would be fast, but he was. He was just as fast as I was in a foot race. I surmised it was due to an extremely large, big toe. It was abnormally large. One could even say grotesquely so. Like a kangaroo might have, giving him the ability to bound far as he ran. It was just a theory.

I couldn’t understand what Tammy saw in him. He wasn’t particularly good looking. Just a nice kind guy who didn’t say much and just smiled and ran fast. I think she flirted with him just to piss me off and make me jealous.

She would irritate me with saying things like, “I like Doug, he’s so deep. He’s not shallow at all”

Deep? What’s so deep about him, I thought. He never says anything. If being mute is so mysterious and attractive, I might have to give that technique a try. I was always trying to impress Tammy. Maybe just maybe, the key was to ignore her. You know, play hard to get.

Christmas was approaching fast, and I wanted to get Tammy something special. She lived in a sleek art deco decorated apartment with silver and black foil wallpaper of plants and palm fronds. She had one of those tall modern silver Calder-like chrome floor lamps behind a plush leather grey couch, with elephant motifs everywhere. She already had all of Elton John records so that was out of the question. I didn’t want to get her a ring as she might push me away as I had witnessed her toss would be suitors to the curb for such assumptive offenses.

First, I needed to buy her that Christmas gift. I went to the mall walking around from store to store in a stupor, trying to figure out what to get her. I had a budget of $10, it's what I saved up. It was a lot of money. I had to impress her. Perfume? Jewelry? Then, I saw it. Her favorite animal. An elephant. A carved alabaster elephant. It was like some shamanistic fetish totem. It was grey with streaks of white and purple stone. It was perfect. I thought to myself, good job, what luck to have found this. She’s going to love it! And all under budget for $7.95.

I never saw her on the weekends, only after school. When Monday came, she wasn’t at school. The teacher said she was under the weather and sick with the flu. I would have to wait to give her gift. I came up with the notion of the Elephant having some magical healing power. I should bring it to her today so she could get better and we could continue our after-school rendezvous.

I tried calling her to see how she was feeling, but the phone line was always busy. It had been snowing all week, and I was unable to ride the bike. It was the first major snow of the season, and I was going stir crazy.

The week went by and when I finally saw her at school. It seemed like ages. She always drew a crowd, and I had to wait my turn and get in line to have an audience with her.

I then had my scheduled meeting with her on the bus when I casually asked to stop by after school since she apparently had recovered.

“Sure, if you’d like, but Doug is supposed to stop by too. He had been dropping my homework off while I was sick. I told him to stop so we could listen to records, since I was feeling better”

“Ok I will”

When I got home, I quickly changed out of my school clothes, put my winter coat and boots on and trudged through the snow, clutching my present. I was eager to present it to her like an offering to my schoolgirl goddess.

When I arrived, Doug was already there sitting on that grey leather couch with his stupid dead fish look. Like a foreigner who didn’t speak the language. It irritated me.

“Hi Tammy, hey Doug.” My voice dropping an octave or two when I mentioned his name.

“What do you have there?” as her eyes lit up.

“Oh, it’s just a present for you. A Christmas present”

“For me? That’s so nice. You are so thoughtful”

I glared at Doug like I just blew past him on the far turn of the track race”

Tammy took my poorly scotch taped gift wrap and ripped it open.

“What’s this?” staring confused at the rock.

“Is it a paperweight?”

“Um…it’s an elephant…You know you love elephants, and I thought I’d get it for you for your collection”

“I don’t like elephants”

“What do you mean? They’re everywhere here.”

“Those are my mothers. She’s the one who likes them. I could care less about them, in fact they kind of annoy me. Big, fat and grey with those long trunk noses. I prefer Lions.”

Doug smiled and said, “Good one dude. Tammy, put that new Elton John record on I just bought you”

That was the very first time I heard him say anything.

Tammy opened the record player and proceeded to put the new Elton John song on, “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word”

She handed me back the object and asked, “Doug, do you want some green apple candy?”

“Aren’t you so sweet.” That was the last thing I ever heard him say.