His Monster

It started with a growl.

Naomi held her breath. The room was dark, only razor-thin slashes of streetlight from the blinds criss-crossed over stick-on glow-in-the-dark stars. Pixar posters leered ghoulishly from the walls, unfeeling heroes who would not stoop to save her. The bed trembled under her petrified weight, shuddering as an unseen creature slithered beneath the box spring.

In the carpeted darkness, she could hear a rhythmic thump! scraaape, thump! scraaaaape of long claws dragging through the cheap synthetic shag. Naomi's fingers dug into the astronaut comforter as the bed knocked and shifted, failing to contain the invisible bulk spawning from the shadowy baseboards. A low growl rumbled from primordial lungs, the huff! huff! of hot breath snuffling from a predatory snout.

These were the moments when a small voice should cry "Mama!" This was when a champion should appear, wreathed in soft hall light. When a warrior should fight back the shadows with a glass of water, a goodnight kiss, and a lullaby. A voice so sure that there was nothing in the dark. A promise that there was no such thing as monsters.

Naomi stayed silent, a bitter tear blazing down the side of her face. There was no point in screaming. There was nobody out there. Not anymore.

The blanket pulled taught against Naomi's skin, trapped in the heavy grip of a rising beast. A smell like mildewed cotton and wet dog rolled over the bedspread, and Naomi flinched as stale breath breezed across her face. Thick-bristled fur scratched through the sheets, rough pounces pressing deep into the mattress. A slick bead of hot drool dropped onto Naomi's cheek. With the rib-rattling howl of an oncoming freight train, the looming nightmare roared.

Naomi sat up and slapped it across the fuzzy-jawed face.

Turning on the bedside lamp, Naomi watched the monster sit back on its massive haunches, many eyes blinking as it held a paw to its muzzle. It slunk a little distance away, stumbling over untidyed Legos and firetrucks. "That's right!" Naomi barked, swinging her adult legs off the edge of her son’s little bed. "That's what happens when you pick on someone your own size!"

The monster from under the bed looked around the room. Even with the light on, it was difficult for Naomi to see it clearly. As though its size had been determined by someone who couldn't measure. Its teeth and eyes designed by someone who didn't know how to count. Focusing on Naomi, the monster demanded, "Bryan!"

“You leave him alone!” Naomi bellowed. “I promised he’d be safe, and that’s exactly what he’ll be! You’ll never get him! You don’t even exist!”

Shaking its shaggy head, the monster tried again. “Bryan!”

“No!” Naomi snarled. “No Bryan! Just me!”

Many eyes were looking worried. The creature gathered up its tail, wringing it between its claws. “Where Bryan?”

A little of the fight went out of Naomi's shoulders. Shifting from foot to dagger-clawed foot, the monster was starting to look the way Naomi felt. "He's not here," she spat. "He's with his father."

Many of the teeth bit an uncertain lip. Naomi hated having something in common with this thing that, until recently, was just a fairytale. She hated more the way that kinship made her feel a little bit better. She shook her head to clear the fleeting consolation. In no way had she given her heart permission to be comforted.

"Bryan gone?" The monster cocked its massive head to one side, like a mutated, multi-eyed labrador. "I go find him."

"Don't be stupid!" Naomi hissed. "You don't even know where he's gone! What, are you going to GoogleEarth it? Get a little road atlas out of your monster fanny pack?"

Shrugging its fuzzy shoulders, the beast said again, "I find him. Monster can go anywhere."

Naomi crossed her arms, pulling her knees up to her chest. "What if he's in a different city?"

"I find him,” the monster explained. “Bryan my boy.”

With a scoff, Naomi sniped, “What if he’s in a hotel? On the twenty-third floor?”

“I find him.”

"What if he's not even in a bed?" Naomi snapped. "What if he's camped out on a folding couch, or in a sleeping bag on the fucking floor?"

"I find him," the beast insisted. "I his monster. Bryan my boy."

"Bryan my boy!" Naomi growled. "What if he's not even asleep? What if he's lying on a cold floor, wide awake? Needing me. And I’m not there.”

There was a little glint in the hunter's eyes. "I find him faster."

Naomi rested her chin on her knees. The Arthurian flush had gone out of her cheeks, and the room felt smaller, colder. Empty. Gravity pulled from the hollow space where Bryan should have been. “Why do you go after him?” she murmured. “Even when he wants you to go away?”

The beastly head tilted to one side. “I his monster.”

Naomi sniffed, picking at the astronaut bedspread. “Why does a child need a monster?”

The creature wrung its tail between its paws while it thought. It didn’t seem so frightening anymore. Even if it was just a figment of Naomi’s imagination, it respected her enough to consider its answer.

“To know him loved,” it said at last. “He screams. You appear. Kiss, water, lullaby. Without me…Bryan alone.”

“Facing a monster is better than being alone?”

“Yes,” the beast said. “Monster go away.”

Alone just stays. And stays. And stays. No way to confront it, to slap it across the face. It was still there waiting underneath the covers, still right there behind closed eyes. Children can outgrow their monsters. Naomi could not escape the cold crush of another night alone.

"I wanted to keep him safe," she breathed. "Now I just want to keep him. Any way I can."

The monster lunged forward, surging for the space beneath the bed. Naomi dropped her legs to the floor, blocking its narrow exit. "Wait!"

A thrill rippled through Naomi when the creature cringed, shrinking away. Afraid of her. “Stay!”

It stayed. Naomi stood up from the bed, still keeping herself between the monster and its den. It watched her, wary, but did not move to strike. She reached out a hand, touching the warm, oily fur. It felt real. “Take me to him."

The eyes bounced between Naomi and the sanctuary shadows. “Not allowed.”

“Oh, really?” Skipping a lecture on trespassing laws, Naomi communicated with a tightening grip. “Do it anyway.”

The creature grimaced, extracting its fur from Naomi’s fist. "If you go there," said the beast. "You will be monster, too."

The nightmare trembled as human teeth split into a wicked grin. "I'm counting on it."