Saving Time With Monica Seles

Today is April 31.

I know. That date doesn’t exist, right?

But in my world, it does. At least that’s what I tell myself to keep from going insane.

You see, I’m stuck in a time loop. For quite a while now, I’ve been reliving the 30th of April, 1993. I was the lead of a mission sent back to stop… wait, you don’t have clearance to hear this. Oh well, what does it matter at this point? Maybe you’re stuck here too. I see the same people every day, so what do I know? So, from the top…

I’m Lieutenant Colonel Amanda Hendrix of the the United States Entity for Time Protection.

Yes, that’s right. The U.S.E.T.P.

I could kill the government nerd who came up with that acronym. I’d like to think they didn’t know what they were doing, but given my current state, perhaps they did.

Anyway, our mission is to support and defend the timeline of American history. To preserve it, as well as protect the time space continuum. You wouldn’t believe how many illegal incursions there are into the past now that we’ve broken the code for time travel. And it isn’t people just trying to win the lottery. Well, mostly it is. That and playing the stock market. But there are a handful with more sinister plans. That’s where we come in.

The US has developed an elite team of soldiers to react at a moment’s notice to any hint of a change. Well-trained. Mobile. Adaptable. The best of the best.

But not my team.

No. I lead the B-team. A group of washed up actors. Our missions through time seem to have little or no effect on anything. We’re not going back to stop the assassination of Lincoln, or make sure the moon launch goes off without a hitch. No, we do things like go back to 1983 to earn the high score on Dig-Dug at an arcade in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Or… recover the lost footage from the Goonies. The part where two gorillas steal a convertible and take a joy ride through Astoria.

Important stuff. Right?

And yes. I said actors. Not military personnel. Actors. My leadership team apparently felt it was important to have someone who might know how to fit in whenever or wherever we went. What they failed to take into account was that actors, being artsy and all, don’t really seem to care about rules and regulations. Hence why I’m now stuck here. On April 31. Not the 30th. I can’t do the 30th anymore.

Now there are a lot of critical things that happened on April 30th that you might think a U.S. based time protection agency would be interested in having involvement with. George Washington taking the first oath of office in 1789. The Louisiana Purchase in 1803. Hitler committing suicide in 1945. The internet kicking off (at least the www side of it). But we didn’t go back for any of that. As I said before. B-team here. Minor time hiccups.

We went back to stop Monica Seles from being stabbed by a crazy fan. Now I guess that might be a big deal, certainly to Ms. Seles and her family, but we didn’t go back to actually stop it from happening. No, we just went back to delay it a bit. By like… 22 minutes.

See, in the original timeline, the assailant (some idiot named Gunter) stabbed her before the match even started. For whatever reason, my team (I’ll get to the rest of them in a bit here) had to go back and make sure it happened between sets.

Not stop it. Not save her. No, just… hold things up a bit.

Why? Beats me. Back in 2034, Scientist Guy (that’s really what it says on his name tag… very Top Secret stuff) says it’s all part of a “butterfly effect” branch that ends up saving the world from nuclear annihilation. I guess that’s important then. Given my current situation, maybe they should have sent the A-Team.

Don’t get me wrong, we succeeded in the mission objective. Flint Davis (yes, that Flint Davis from the teenage romance werewolf movies that ended up being the only thing he ever did to reach the big screen) turned on the charm just enough to distract Seles from entering the stadium on time. I gave him credit for it…reluctantly. Mostly because it didn’t make up for the instance he used the time machine to get fresh greens from the previous day’s salad bar. Like I said, actors have no respect for the rules. Anyway, the assailant missed his first opportunity and took to the stands, free to stab Seles a bit later. He was arrested. She was still injured, but lived. Mission accomplished! Heroes… I guess.

We were all set to return to the present when Gunter broke lose from the police and stabbed Victor Pal, a member of my team (actually my XO - second in command - like Spock, but nowhere near as smart). It was ok, though. For whatever reason, Victor is killed on every mission. I was actually starting to worry it wasn’t going to happen this time, but, as usual, time had a way of coming through. Don’t worry too much for Victor, though. See, every time we show back up in the present, he’s there. A little different each time. Maybe it’s a haircut. Maybe a scar. But same old Victor. Don’t ask me for an explanation. Scientist Guy just tells me “it’s complicated.” Or was it duck that said that? Yes. We have a duck that works at the agency who provides… advice. Don’t ask.

Anyway, Victor was killed and the police re-arrested Gunter. Seles made it to the hospital with a knife wound to the shoulder. Just like before, only a bit later. How this all stops a nuclear apocalypse? Again. It’s complicated. Butterfly effect. See that bad Ashton Kutcher movie for answers.

My team prepped for extract. We did this by heading to the nearest bathroom. Long story short, the time portal was built into a port-o-potty and always drops us off in a bathroom. Something about there always being a bathroom available, no matter the time period. No cool portal to step through. Just a dirty bathroom stall door. It makes sense when you think about it. No worries about finding gasoline for your time hopping sports car. Just find the nearest hole in the ground.

So while waiting to extract, Madelynn Sadler (my other actor… you wouldn’t know her from anything… yet) and Flint got into another argument over which time period had the best alcoholic beverages. Madelynn can’t bear to lose an argument as it shatters her fragile sense of self. Again… actor. The last time they argues about the same topic, I ended up with a couple of passed out roman gladiators, as well as a patriot soldier from the American Revolution, all sprawled out in our time travel briefing room. Drunk. Quite a mess. I wasn’t about to let it happen again.

I decided to put a stop to it. And that’s when things went off the rails. I stepped between the two of them and Madelynn’s arm brushed against my Time Upset Return Device (yes, again with the acronyms). BLOOP - FLASH. They disappeared and I was left alone with no T.U.R.D. left on my arm. I didn’t even have my Time Slip Watch on anymore to track the original date. Anything the agency had issued was gone, and I was stuck in 1993.

The hours ticked by. Surely someone would return for me. But nothing happened. The tennis crowd dispersed. The sun went down. And the clock turned from April 30 to… the same day.

It was like I blacked out for a second only to return to the moment we arrived to start our mission. Flint, Victor and Madelynn were on their first visit again, but I remembered everything from before. Thinking back on my training, I figured it was just a “glitch” in the system, so ran through the mission without mentioning it to them. No reason to worry Madelynn. And Victor would die anyway. And Flint? A waste of breath.

So back on mission. Delay Seles. Gunter stabs her. Kills Victor. Time to extract. Then it happened again. The second time it was Flint who hit the T.U.R.D. The third time? A random bystander. No matter what I do, something goes haywire and the team is sent back and I’m stuck here. Over and over again.

Any second now I’ll black out, and my team will pop back in, ready to start the mission. Exactly like Groundhog Day. Whenever the clock rolls over at 11:59 pm on the 30th, no matter where I am or what I’m doing, I re-appear with the B-team and start over again. It just happened. And all I can tell myself is that maybe this time it’s tomorrow. A day that’s different from the others. A chance to break free. My own anti-leap year day.

April 31.