Dr. Purples' Awkward Class-Reunion

Farmer Purple's Awkward Class-Reunion

Once upon a time in an extremely gigantic metropolis called Danville, Va., there lived a farmer who was in his 80s named Farm- er Purple. That was actually the names his high school classmates had given him because he had red hair and blue eyes. Ironically, his favorite color was purple, which is the color or royalty. He did good work for a long time until an awful disease came upon him called old age. He was good at what he had done throughout his entire vocational life which consisted primarilyuu of working in his orchard and raising all the cows, goats, chickens, sheep and pigs but eventually he contracted a serious disease known as old age.

He lived alone since his kids were grown and had moved away and his wife had run away with the mailman who was looking for a, "female-type" woman. That meant he had to take care of his farm single-handedly because he was single and ha d 2 perfectly good, strong hands. Since his great grandaddy, grandaddy and daddy were all farmers and had taught him everything they knew about that kind of work, he'd done it his whole life, so it was in his blood. Still, he was, "o-positive" there was more to life than that. The fact that it was in his blood made him confident that there was a lot more than just hemoglobin to make it be, "red" by the doctor since just being, "read" by any, "layman" since all they did was, "lie" about it and sleep. That meant those nutty doctors were not even able to, "doct" just anybody back to health. In spite of taking at least 4 years of medical school, what some of those poor students ended up taking whatever happened to be everything that wasn't nailed down. When they were asked to define anatomy all they would say was, "a gnat-tummy is where it's food goes." That made the professor just shake his head disgustedly and want to try another occupation besides just, "professing." That was extremely discouraging to him since it was the only job he'd ever held.

Then he received a nice letter inviting him to attend his college graduating class reunion. That would be a golden opportunity to see some of the students he had met in school. He hadn't heard anything from his frat-brothers since they had all graduated so he figured it would be fun just to see the old gang he hadn't seen or heard from since they each graduated so many years ago.

Most of the people he didn't even recognize sine it had been so long since they had seen each other. Then a man punched him on the arm and shouted, "Hay! Sammy Purple! Is that really you?"

Since neither of them had put their nametags on yet he turned around and looked at the guy, he didn't have a clue who the man was, but he said, "Hay man! Long-time-no-see! What kind of mischief have you gotten into since we were attending school?"

"Come with me!" yelled the mystery-man, "The rest of the gang is at that table over there! Now, join us! We've got a lot of catching up to do! Say! Do you remember her? Did y'all ever get hitched?"

While Dr. Purple was racking his poor brain, trying to figure out who those strangers were, some women came over and yelled, "Well, bless my booty! Is that you, Purple?" Before he could open his mouth, she squealed and called several other women. "Look who's here, gang! It's Purple!" then they all squealed, hugged him and kissed him. "I haven't seen you after you were busted with your frat-brothers for that illegal panty-raid on our sorority! You got suspended! None of us thought you would never graduate!"

Dr. Purple laughed with them, but he didn't have a clue who any of those people were since they hadn't put their nametags on yet. Yet he laughed and said, "Yeah! We sure did have fun, didn't we?"

Then an extremely beautiful lady approached him and beckoned to him with her finger. When he went to see what she wanted, she said, "You don't have a clue who those people are, do you, Purple?"

The doctor laughed and said, "Who? Me? Of corce I remember them! No! I just don't have a clue who they are! Please tell me!"

The woman laughed and said, "Some of them were my roomies and others were some people who were hired to make you feel awkward! The psychiatrists wanted to see how you'd react to a great deal of stress! Well, congratulations Dr. Purple! You passed!"

About that time some man wearing a ski mask entered the room and yelled, "Alright! Everybody! On the floor! Now! If nobody tries anything funny, nobody will get hurt! I just want all your wallets and diamond rings! Put them all on that table! Do it now!"

While they were all sliding their things towards the center of that room, Dr. Purple approached the man and said, "Do you remember what happens to people who rob this school? They end up getting at least 20 years in the hoosegow. Now, I don't think you want to go there since it will ruin any chance of getting a decent job, that's in addition to breaking one of the major 10 Commandments. Right now, you're a thief, just a guy who stole some money, but if you kill someone, you'll be a murderer, that's somebody who stole a life and ruined a lot of other people's lives. I don't think you're ready to make that kind of jump now, are you?"

As the man pondered over what he'd just heard, he lowered his gun, turned around and walked out of the building, muttering some words under his breath. He went to his car and drove away, leaving all the money behind. When the sound of his car had faded away, everybody cheered and hugged him. Then they hoisted him up in the air. About that time, 3 policemen entered the room with their guns pointed, but when they saw everybody was happy, hoisting the doctor up off the floor, then they put their guns down and smiled. They tried to give the doctor a huge cash reward, but he said, "If I accepted this, it would take away from my blessing. Give it to somebody who really needs it. You're a real hero more."

"This town needs more people like you in it! At least let us buy you a drink anyway! It would make us feal better, my good man!"

When the word got out about what the good farmor had done, he was promoted to Alanzo Jones's place as mayor. When he heard about what Dr. Purple had done, he let him go join him as the mayor 2 of Danville, which is the second-in-command over everybody in the entire district. Women flocked to him, pleading to go out with him. He eventually ended up marrying the prettiest lady in the entire city. After dating for a while they were married' The following year they had a junior mayor to take care of who'd someday change the entire country, but for the time being, they both had to, "change" him since, "change is good." At any rate, like the best written children's stories of all-time will officially finish, "THEY AL LIVED HAPOLY EVER AFTER!!!!" ----------------------------------------

The end. By, Cuz Roye.