Goin' Back to Cali

Jack and Sharon are sitting on an ice chest holding hands, watching their rods and the Pacific, when Sharon’s rod suddenly bends. She leaps to her feet, grabs the rod and pulls back hard, setting the hook. Jack reels his line in to give Sharon room to fight her fish.

One of the deckhands, Philippe brings over a fishing belt, buckling her into it. Placing the handle of her rod in the socket, she starts seriously cranking on the reel, while using the rod to try to lever the fish out of the water.

The fish is putting up a huge fight. Jack gets a coke from the ice chest, opens it, and pours it into Sharon’s mouth. Sweat is rolling down Sharon’s face from the exertion, All the other anglers are watching and yelling encouragement at Sharon.

Thirty minutes later a five foot long tiger shark surfaces, when Sharon has it close to the boat the other deckhand, Lorenzo, manages to pull it close with a stout gaff so Philippe can get a rope around it’s tail. Holding the rope tight, Philippe yells “¡Gira la manivela!” Jack gets to the crank and starts reeling the shark in.

The boat lists from the weight of the shark as the windlass lifts it out of the water. With the shark safely over the boat Captain Pedro walks up to it with some kind of baton in his hands. He rams the end of the baton into the shark’s head. The shark stick lets off a muffled boom as the 12 gauge shell goes off, the shot obliterating the shark’s brain. With the shark safely stowed, everyone resumes fishing.

Jack gives his bait the finger before casting it back out. Sharon looks at him quizzically, “Chuck again?”

Jack shake his head, “Naw, I just felt like it. That’s a damn nice shark you caught, what are we going to do with these huge fish?”

Sharon shrugs, “We can have mi tio Alejandro drive up and take them to the hacienda.”

With a smile Jack replies, “We should take some of each home for a fish fry?”

“That’s a great idea Jack, we’ll need another ice chest though.”

“And a ton of ice, it’s a long drive home.”

The couple watches as the other two anglers reel in smaller sharks. With the sun heading towards the horizon Pedro shifts the boat into forward and heads towards the Mexican coastline. Sharon and Jack sit in the rear facing seats in the stern to watch the sunset.

At the dock in Ensenada Sharon uses the charter company’s phone to call her uncle, who will drive out and pick up the fish. When Sharon finishes Jack is standing in front of his sailfish, the hanging scale reads around four hundred pounds.

Sharon stands in front of her shark after it is hanging. It weighs about six hundred, sixty, six pounds. One of the deck hands yells, “¡Ese tiburón es el diablo!” Everyone laughs at him.

Pedro’s wife, Rosa, holds up eight Polaroids, four of him, and four of Sharon, “Dame cuarenta pesos.” Jack shrugs and hands her a twenty dollar bill.

Sharon elbows Jack, “You gave her way more than forty pesos.”

Jack shrugs, “It’s only money, I’ll make more.”

Sharon shakes her head in exasperation, “My uncle will be here in about an hour.” When Jack nods she asks Rosa where she can buy an ice chest. Rosa points to a Mercado across the street from the dock, “Alli. Via con Dios.”

The couple walks to the market, where they find a decent size ice chest. Sharon haggles with the shop keeper and gets it for less than half the original price. They pick up ice from a cantina before they return to the dock for their portion of the fish.

Alejandro arrives as they are loading the ice chest into the van. Quite a few men greet him by name. He recruits a dozen men to help him load the two fish into his step van. Each of the helpers get paid in shark steaks.

With the fish loaded Alejandro looks Jack up and down before shaking his head, he rapidly rattles off something in Spanish but Jack only catches half of the words. When he asks Sharon what her uncle said she replies, “I’ll tell you after we leave Jacky, let’s go.” After a quick hug for her uncle she climbs into the driver seat of the van.

Jack grumbles as he gets into the passenger seat. Sharon points the van north, and they make their way to the coast road. Just before they leave Ensenada Jack spies a taco vendor on the side of the road and has Sharon stop so they can have dinner.

The food puts Jack in a much better mood. When he is in the bathroom he takes a small bump of coke. Taking the wheel he plays a mix tape. He sings along as they drive, Sharon joins in on some of the songs.

As they get close to Plaza Del Mar he asks, “Hey, do you want to stop and visit or just find a rest area when we get tired?”

“Ooooh, a rest area! I’m a three day virgin lover boy.”

Grinning Jack replies, “I have the same problem.”

They both giggle and start looking for a decent place to park the van. Several miles north of Plaza Del Mar jack pulls the van off the road. With no moon it’s dark. He gets out, grabs the extra blanket from under the bed, and crosses the highway to the beach.

They spread out the blanket, and have very enthusiastic sex under the stars to the sound of the surf. Jack walks to the water’s edge naked, and walks into the surf until it is waist high. Sharon watches in surprise.

Jack calls out, “Hey Sharon, get out here, we can’t do this at home, and the water feels wonderful.”

She shakes her head, “What if someone comes by? I don’t want us to get in trouble.”

Laughing he responds, “We aren’t going to get in trouble.”

“We better not, or I will be very angry with you Jacky.”

Reluctantly Sharon jogs to the water, and walks out to Jack. He swims out about twenty feet, relaxes, and lets the tide wash him back to shore. Watching his antics helps Sharon loosen up, and she heads out to body surf with him.

Jack grins, “I have an idea.”

“Let’s hear it Jacky?”

“We should go further out and try body surfing sex.”

“Wait, what? Is that even possible?”

Laughing he replies, “There’s one way to find out, and that’s to try.”

She giggles, “Fuck it, let’s try it.”

They head out about fifty feet, make the connection, and let the waves carry them back in, the motion languidly rocking them, causing delightful friction. Once back onshore they head back to the blanket, get dressed, and back in the van.

Sharon takes the wheel and swaps mix tapes. When the sound of Bauhaus pours from the speakers Jack stares at Sharon, “Who is this?”

She grins at Jack, “It’s Bauhaus, give my music a chance.”

“Why haven’t I heard them before?”

“You’re a metalhead Jack, not a goth.”

“Goth? What the fuck is that?”

Sharon giggles, “You’ll find out next Friday, you’re going to love it.”

“Wait, What? How did you get this tape?”

“Brian gave it to me.”

Bauhaus fades out and Sisters of Mercy oozes from the speakers.

“Who the fuck is Brian?”

Sharon starts rocking along with the music, “He’s my neighbor three houses down that everyone thinks is creepy because he’s goth.”

“What the fuck do you mean he’s goth?”

“Well, he dresses all in black, he listens to goth music, which is what we’re listening to now, and he’s misunderstood.”

Jack shakes his head, “That’s stupid. My neighbors avoid me because I am a dangerous thug.”

Sharon laughs, “Now that’s stupid, you’re a sweet guy Jacky, and I love you.”

Jack softly says, “That makes one of us.”

Ninety minutes later they arrive in Tijuana, Sharon spots an open cantina and pulls into the gravel parking lot. Jack turns to Sharon, “Why are we stopping?”

“Potty break, and I’m getting tired.”

“I’m getting hungry, we can get some tacos or something as well.”

Sharon smiles, “Tacos would be good, let’s eat!”

The cantina is full of college kids from California drinking beer and eating. After using the bathrooms they take the only empty table in the place. Their waitresses introduces herself as Juanita and asks what they would like?

Sharon asks for a horchata and menus, Jack asks for a Corona. Juanita returns with the drinks and menus. Jack ends up ordering a plate with four different tacos while Sharon gets a carne asada plate.

Jack looks at his watch and sighs, “We missed the races, this sucks.”

“What sucks Jacky?”

“I didn’t make any money, and I have two cars lined up for the barn. We have a bike run with the group planned for this morning.”

Sharon gives him a smile, “It’s not the end of the world, besides, I had fun having you to myself today.”

Jack returns her smile, “I had fun too, but it’s weird not running with the group.”

“Well maybe next week we can all run down to Ensenada to go shark fishing.”

“That would be bitchin’!”

Juanita returns with their food, they both ask for another drink. Jack scarfs down his tacos, and waves Juanita over to order four more. Juanita asks if he wants mas frijoles y arroz? Jack nods. Sharon shakes her head in disbelief when Juanita goes back to the kitchen.

“Fuck Jacky, where do you put all that food?”

Jack replies with a grin, “I fuck it off, or couldn’t you tell?”

Sharon blushes, “Oh, I noticed alright, how could I not?”

Jack laughs and dips a chip in Sharon’s refried beans, “Exactly!”

While they wait for the food Jack looks around the bar, a tanned muscle head with sun bleached hair notices and walks towards their table, “What the fuck are you staring at dickhead?”

Jack laughs, “I was trying to figure that out, but now that you are closer, I have to say I am looking at a bogus moron who thinks he’s a tough guy.”

“Get the fuck up, I’m going to beat your ass!”

Laughing louder Jack retorts, “You couldn’t beat a dead dog’s ass, just go back to your butt buddies.”

The guy comes around the table and tries pulling Jack up by his shirt, “You’re dead meat kid, get the fuck up and fight me.”

Sharon tries to calm them both down but they ignore her. Jack pulls his shirt up letting the dude pull it off of him and replies in an icy voice, “Are you sure this is what you want?”

The guy screams, “Get the fuck up now you asshole.”

Jack stands up showing muscles built by years of mechanical work, “give me your best shot punk.”

The guy screams and swings at Jack, who ducks under the haymaker, “What? You can’t even hit me joto.” Jack delivers a bitch slap to the dude.

The guy’s friends yell encouragement to him. When he throws another haymaker Jack catches his fist and squeezes. The guy tries pulling his hand back and Jack laughs, “What’s wrong tough guy? Did you fuck with the wrong asshole? I told you to go back to your butt buddies.”

Jack squeezes harder and the guy screams in pain as the bones in his hand start to shift. With a laugh Jack lets go and hits the guy with a flurry of body blows. The guy lets out a whoof right before Jack lays him out with a right jab to the jaw.

Putting his shirt back on Jack turns to Sharon, “That was almost fun, but that guy couldn’t take a hit.”

“Damn Jack, I didn’t know you could fight.”

“It’s the best thing, no, it’s the only thing I learned in juvie.”

“Well at least you learned something there.”

Jack laughs, “You got me there Sharon.”

Juanita comes out with Jack’s second plate and sees the muscle head on the ground, “¿Qué pasó aquí?”

Jack replies, “Pinche gabacho no aguanta el alcohol.”

Juanita laughs, “Pinche gabacho, Eres lindo.” She has the bouncer throw the muscle head out.

After Jack finishes his food and another beer he hits the bathroom and takes another bump of coke before they get back in the van. Jack takes the wheel and Sharon dozes in the passenger seat. At the border crossing Jack gets asked why they were in Mexico, he tells the officer for some fishing in Ensenada, and starts going on about his fight with the four hundred pound sailfish. The agent smiles and tells him to have a safe trip home.

Jack takes the 5 through San Diego to Dana Point before switching to PCH, following the coast up to Long Beach, where he jumps on the 605 north. Before they get back to the barn he stops at Winchell’s for a dozen donuts.

As he is getting into the van he remembers he threw his keys over the fence. Dropping a dime into the payphone he calls Kris.

Mal answers on the second ring, “Hello?”

“Yo Mal, it’s Jack, I’m at Winchell’s, and I can’t find my gate key, can you have Kris swing by the junkyard and let us in?”

“Where the fuck have you been? You had us all worried when you missed the races. Do you know where Sharon is?”

Jack hears Kris in the background, “Is that Jack?”

Mal replies, “Yeah, it’s Jack.” Kris picks up her other phone.

“Take a chill pill, Sharon’s with me, we went to Ensenada for some fishing, dude, I caught this like four hundred pound sailfish, and Sharon caught a six hundred sixty six pound shark. It was a fuckin’ blast!”

Kris yells, “Wait, you two fucked off down to Mexico to go fishing and didn’t fuckin’ let anyone know? You boneheads have everyone worried, call your brother and let him know, he called the cops to file a missing bonehead report, but they said call after three days. Sharon needs to call her parents too! Bugsy found your keys in the driveway, they are in the barn. We‘ll head over and let you in.”

Jack shakes his head, “I’ll call Andy from the barn after Sharon calls her folks. See you guys soon.”

Mal replies, “See you soon bonehead, bye.”

Kris slams her phone before Jack can respond.

Jack munches on a donut as he drives to the junkyard, he parks near the gate and wakes Sharon, “Kris and Mal are on their way to let us in, you need to call your parents when we get in the barn, we have everyone worried.”

Sharon sleepily replies, “Oh shit, we kind of fucked up didn’t we?”

“Oh yeah we did, but it was worth it.”

Sharon giggles, “Yeah it was lover boy.”

They hear the sound of motorcycles approaching and get out of the van in time to see Mal and Kris pulling up. As the girls drop their kickstands, more bikes pull into the parking lot, followed by Bugsy in his truck.

After everyone finishes chewing Jack out Lee finishes with, “Do you have a good reason why you two had us all worried sick about you?”

Jack stares at his shoes, “We have sailfish and shark steaks for tonight?”

Lee shakes his head in disbelief, “Fuckin’ seriously Jack?” Turning to everyone else he continues, “Does anyone believe the nerve of this guy?” Turning back to Jack, “Next time leave a fuckin’ note okay?”

Jack grins, “You know me, I’m just a bonehead and didn’t think about it, neither did Sharon, we were too excited to get to Ensenada to go after some big fish.”

When everyone starts yelling questions Kris yells for quiet, “Let’s get inside so Sharon can call her parents, and bonehead can call Andy.”

In the barn after the phone calls are made the group all agree to meet at Lee’s house for grilled surf and turf. With everyone gone Jack parks the van in it’s normal spot, Sharon runs the extension cord through the windows, and Jack plugs in the lamp and boom box.