A Sword In Every Timeline

Melvin sank into his chair. The dwarf foamed at the mouth and banged his dog-sized fists against the table, splintering its edge. The ranger towered over him, resting his hands on the Belt of Unyielding Manspread. It bestowed plus two personal space on the wearer.

The rogue–damn, look how tight that tunic is on her. The way her chest bounces when she flashes her middle finger to the bard. The way her tight, silky-smooth thighs curve at the hips. How her emerald eyes shimmer when she gets mad and screams in my face. Oh, how wonderfully sweet her breath is– er, I mean, the rogue tried to calm everyone down.

The bard hissed, clawing the air with one hand perched theatrically on his forehead. His frustration with the wizard reached a boiling point. Using his lyrical prowess, the bard rapped a mean diss track aimed at the weedy wizard.

Between the onslaught of screams, screeching fiddles, and gnomes riverdancing on the bar, Melvin's head was about to pop. He stuck his fingers in his ears, closed his eyes and wished he could stop this from ever happening.

“Open your eyes, Melvin. Be not afraid."

"What the– who are you? What's happened to everyone? They're all frozen?”

"All will be explained. Step into my Time Bubble™ for you are destined for great things."

“I'm not stepping inside anything until you tell me what's going on, wizard.”

"Did my robe give it away? Why did you say that? We're the only ones talking and clearly I'm a powerful wizard, so why the tagline?”

"Sorry, I get nervous around magic. That's why I could never be a magician. You see, I sought mystical guidance from the mighty Grand–”

"I know all about that. Now, get your ass in the bubble. I have much to show you.”

"Will any more of you show up? Like a wizard of the Past, one of Yet to Come– that sort of stuff?"

“That's funny. But what I'm about to show you will make your eyes bleed. Steel yourself, or shit yourself, because this will scar you for life."

“Wait! I'm sorry! I'm not a sarcastic dick, honestly! Please, I don't want to die…"

The bubble erupted in white lightning. A vortex of green and purple sheen pulled everything and everyone in existence inside, creating a wound in space and time. Melvin poured his guts out as his body felt ripped to shreds by a thousand pliers. The torment ended as abruptly as it began. Dazed and feeble, Melvin stood up, his eyes adjusting to the dark.

"This is the tomb in which you and the others will die a most agonizing death. Watch.”

Melvin saw everyone he had met in the tavern fighting the Lich, himself included. Driven mad, he threw himself to the ground, begging the wizard to make the screaming stop. When he opened his eyes everything was gone. Melvin and the Wizard were alone in an empty tomb.

"This is your fate if you side with those fools in the tavern. They will die and drag you along with them.”

"This could be a trick! You're just trying to scare me, none of this is real. I'm not meant to die, I'm–"

“Destined for great things? You've heard this before, from that harlot, didn't you? Those were not her words, nor were they of her own machinations. The Ether has chosen its Champion. A man of many powers, destined for greatness, sleeps inside you. He needs to awaken."

“Who are you? Why do you torment me?" Melvin choked. "Wait, what's that on your– the brooch! It's you. You're the Lich!"

“Very perceptive of you, Champion. It's a relic of my past, from a time long forgotten (2022). The brooch of the Wizard of the Year. Back then, I used to roam with a band of my own: a prideful paladin, a narrow-minded archer, and a cleric with a foot fetish. I quickly learned my talents far surpassed those of my feeble companions. I reached into the deepest, darkest layers of magic. With that knowledge, I conquered death. I became a being of ultimate evil, the one that crushed your skull with a mere whisper."

Melvin's heart jumped out of his chest. During the vision of his death he had seen that same brooch pinned to the crimson robe the terrible Lich wore.

"Why show me this if you want to destroy me?”

“I have seen your potential, Champion. By manipulating this timeline, you will become the most powerful being in existence. Even more powerful than me. My destiny of becoming a Lich pales in comparison to your grand existence. We need to change all that, right at this very moment in time.”

"What is it you want? Out with it!”

"What I want is to be part of your glory, Champion. I wish to adventure with you, to conquer the world! My transformation into a Lich is inevitable, that is the price of devil-magic. But with the Blade of Everlasting Torment, you can siphon my soul. My spirit will forever be bound to it. With my magic, your destiny is to rule the universe, Melvin. All I ask is to be present at the End of Time, when you, Great Champion, will reset all timelines. You will destroy everything and start anew as the being at the center of the universe. I need…I need to feel the destruction of everything there ever was! I cannot do it, only you are worthy.”

Melvin watched the wizard in human form and thought back to the horrific Lich version. With newfound courage, he said,

“How far into the future can you see? Show me my true form, the Champion I'm destined to become.”

The wizard stretched out his hand and touched Melvin's forehead.

“Behold, oh Champion of Champions. This is your best self. This timeline grants you, and only you, immortality. I can help. All I ask is to be part of it.”

“The world, made in my image.”